This isn't about the lettermans jacket or the love spell, Xander solves that mystery pretty early on. It's about Buffy and Love and what love has been for her. It's about closing the door on the past and moving forward.
Spike only has about 6 lines in the whole episode, the first being in the 'previously on' when he says 'I don't have anywhere else to go' and then subsequently when he moves in with Xander. He doesn't speak again for the rest of the episode. That's because it isn't about him, he is future love, this episode is about past loves.
Dawn decides she doesn't care for love, it's a fools game, and the having or not having of a soul seems to make no differences. She says 'you put all this energy into chasing and having and brooding . . . ', which to me is a direct reference to Angel.
Here we see the high school girl (substitute Buffy) fallling the for handsome leading man of the football team, (substitute Angel). It has all the melodrama of the earlier relationship. Love spells work as a metaphor for young love, in that your emotions take over and you can't fight it. We even have a flashback to a love spell to remind us how dangerous it can be.
We see Xander and Buffy as parents to Dawn again. There is even flirty banter;
Buffy 'I dont want a new cheerleading outfit', Xander 'Don't be too hasty', this was very much their early season realtionship. Buffy hands him her torn up cheerleading outfit, reminding us of The Witch, when Buffy tried out for cheer squad but also when Xander gave her that bracelet with LOVE on it, reminding us the this episode is about Buffys Past Loves.
Buffy and Dawn quarrel 'You don't know him' Buffy says, Dawn answers 'I do know him, I know his soul', reminiscent of Buffy speaking of Angel and Dawn calls Buffy 'The Dysfunction Queen' and 'you don't know what real love is'. Loving RJ doesn't make Dawn a better person, she pushes O'Donnell down the stairs and then lies about it. Real love is meant to elevate and make you better, while this kind of love makes you angry and petty and dangerous.
In the Bronze we have a lovely moment were Xander calls himself Daddy, remember when Warren did it and Xander told him it was creepy
, well Xander proves the truth of it.
Buffy and Dawn argue and once again Buffy's past is bought back into it with Dawn saying 'You've always been the special one. Hot little Buffy with her boyfriends. The Slayer. And now someone likes me, and you just can't stand that I'm getting the attention' - another reference to Buffys past. When Xander and Spike visit RJ's brother, Spike does not speak, but he turns a ceramic angel away from him, to face the wall.
Buffy seducing RJ is similar to IOHEFY, they even use an old song to represent RJ and the spell, as they did in the season 2 ep. Here Buffy is playing Angel and RJ is playing Buffy's part, in that both of them wanted sex, but neither of them really understands the consequences of their actions.
The comedy of Willow, Anya and Buffy doing ridiculous things to win RJ's love, even when Anya doesn't even know his name and Willow doesn't fancy men, but that's the effect love has on you. Buffy's use of a rocket launcher is another call-back to a past episode 'Innocence' where Buffy wakes up to an empty bed after losing her virginity to Angel.
So for me this episode is a call back to the past, to Buffy's love life prior to Spike and how she behaved very much as though she were under a spell. Now, she is moving towards something different.
