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Do you think Buffy was a good friend?

Name the Stars

You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling.
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Black Thorn
Buffy was a good friend to Willow, and Xander. She stuck by them, and didn't blame them for the awful things they have done. She would protect them with her life. Although she has had bad moments, friend wise, she is a loyal, and brave friend, that will selflessly protect you until the end. I think anyone would be lucky to be friends with her.
 

DayDreamer27

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I think she was a good friend until season 7. Not so much then when she just became a drill Sargent, with everyone as her followers that needed to stay in line, and Spike her right-hand vamp.

Otherwise, if we go by seasons 1-6, I can say she was a better friend to them than they were to her many times. Especially when they gang up on her to vent their frustrations & blame her for everything. Dead Man's Party & Yoko Factor come to mind here. Revelations may count as well.
 
thrasherpix
thrasherpix
While they were out of line in the first two, I'd say Buffy was the one most out of line in Revelations, and she arguably was betraying their friendship by keeping such a huge secret from them (Giles summed it up well, IMO)

Athene

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Sineya
Buffy was a good friend considering the pressure she was under as the Slayer, I think all 3 of them were pretty consistently good to each other. The weakest link would be Willow to Buffy for me because of season 6 and other small things in the earlier seasons but even then they have a good friendship.
 

Stephan

It's a great show. But no need to get all riled up
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Otherwise, if we go by seasons 1-6, I can say she was a better friend to them than they were to her many times. Especially when they gang up on her to vent their frustrations & blame her for everything.
I'm not sure I agree completely with this statement. Buffy is the Slayer and it's her calling to save the world. But the rest of the Scoobies didn't have this duty, they willingly put their lives at risk by helping Buffy. They gave her something that other slayers didn't have and that's why they died young, Buffy had a group of people fighting by her side.
 

thetopher

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Sineya
I think Buffy was a very good friend in S1 (where she was determined to be her most normal) and in S2 she goes out of her way to bond with them in her free time.

In Season 3 she was but only Post-Revelations; hiding Angel, whilst understandable, with a betrayal of sorts and consequently she was distant from her friends. Also her friends were caught up in illicit smoochies, so they in turn weren't great to her; like 'Homecoming', for example.

S4 there was drift and Buffy got deeper into the Initiative but she was still close to and supportive of Willow.
Season 5 is where- to me- the gang is at its closest post-high school. There's a lot of mutual support and yeah, she's a good friend.

In S6 Buffy is really too into her own problems to be a 'good' friend, but she does try when she can manage it; she's not deliberately cold or anything. She's supportive when Willow is struggling with magic withdrawal, she's enthused about Xander's wedding, etc.
The first...third of S7 she's a good friend but then she slowly but surely withdraws from everyone but Spike. Things are pretty dire by the end there.
The cynic in me says that any friendship wouldn't really survive this, on both sides, for obvious reasons. When the dust of the apocalypse settled I could easily see them drifting apart.

In the comics? Nope, not beyond S8.
 

katmobile

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I don't like the Buffy wasn't a good friend narrative some people have on here about her in season seven. She was under a lot of pressure and researching CWDP she says she loves and appreciates her friends but they don't understand what she has to deal with as they aren't the slayer. Spike I think is probably the closest around plus she's doing a lot of things like training that Willow, let alone Xander or Dawn, can't help with and Giles through things he has to deal with isn't around consistently either. I think she's spread pretty thin in season seven and doesn't have the time for anyone she'd like. If we're talking the everyone but me sucks speech no one is spared there...including Spike.
 
Annie Hall
Annie Hall
S7 was very stressful for her.

Ceadsearc03

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I thought she was. Or, at least as good a friend as the others were to her, if not better at times.
 

thrasherpix

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I don't think Buffy was a good friend in season 7. I just don't think about that season much because it gets too weird (as in I think the writers were just getting through it as fast as they could without thinking about it) at times, and her friends were crappy in return (though I'm more sympathetic to them than Buffy for the most part).

main thing, though, is that Buffy claims to have carried them for years when that is simply not true. She'd have died many times over without her friends, and would've failed in her duties without their help, and therefore deserved a say (which they typically got before season 7). Furthermore, Buffy also tried to keep them from being harmed when it got too dangerous (which they often defied her on, or got in and then got out under Buffy's command while she did the heavy lifting, perhaps with Angel or Spike) in previous seasons, but now wants to lead them recklessly against what is arguably the most powerful Big Bad they've ever faced.

Buffy was once good with speeches of having power while also respecting her friends, like here:


I missed that Buffy (and in the seasons before that) to season 7 Buffy.
 
r2dh2
r2dh2
When does she claim to have carried them for years? I don't remember, but in S7 there were so many speeches that I just get lost.
thetopher
thetopher
Love this episode. And Buffy's speech. And her hair. :)

FaithLehane16

"Tact is not saying true stuff. I'll pass."
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Season 7 was when Buffy started to not be a good friend. She went from wanting to sacrifice herself so she could help people to wanting to sacrifice people. She went from valuing her friends' opinions to not caring about them.

so they in turn weren't great to her; like 'Homecoming', for example.
The only person I can understand helping out Cordelia in Homecoming would be Xander. Willow is a different story. It was out of character for her. Oz could've stood up to Willow.
 
thetopher
thetopher
Xander and Willow both recognize that the 'fluke kiss' made them over-compensate because of guilt. Buffy's best friend in Homecoming is Faith.

r2dh2

Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain
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Season 7 was when Buffy started to not be a good friend. She went from wanting to sacrifice herself so she could help people to wanting to sacrifice people. She went from valuing her friends' opinions to not caring about them.
But, isn’t it because of the type of fight that they are facing? The circumstances are different from past threats. The First wants to wipe out the Slayer’s line and it has been doing a great job at killing potentials. It’s an enemy that can get to anyone through their insecurities and fears. In S7, I see Buffy scared and tired, reacting to what she’s facing. And not only that, but suddenly she’s also responsible of a group of scared girls, she has to train them and keep them safe.

And I think that she understands that this fight is unlike any other and she has to toughen up. I see her change in “Bring on the Night.” Almost at the end, she’s sitting in her couch, looking terrified while the rest of the gang are discussing loudly their options and doubting that she’s strong enough to defeat the First. The last scene says it all to me:


GILES. I'm not sure. The First pre-dates everything we've ever known, or can know. It's everywhere. It's pure. I don't know it we can fight it.

BUFFY (O.S.). You're right.

BUFFY. We don't know how to fight it. We don't know when it'll come. Can't run, can't hide... can't pretend it's not the end 'cause it is. Something has always been there to try and destroy the world. We've beaten them back, but we're not dealing with them anymore. We're dealing with the reason they exist. Evil. The strongest. The First.

GILES. Buffy, I know you're tired...

BUFFY. I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of Hell and it's going to swallow me whole. (beat) And it'll choke on me.

BUFFY (cont'd) We're not ready? THEY'RE not ready. They think we're gonna wait, like we always do, for the end to come but I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? We'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run do it now, because we just became an army. We just declared war. We push in low on her -- and on everyone, as they are wrapped up in her passionate calm.

BUFFY (cont'd). From now on we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them and cut out their hearts, one by one, until The First shows itself for what it is. And I will kill it myself. There's only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil. And that's us.



Then I agree that she shuts out other people and makes reckless decisions. But after Faith takes over and is defeated, the conversation that she has with Buffy allows us to see everything again from the point of view of Buffy.


FAITH. Really not looking for forgiveness.

BUFFY. You're not?

FAITH. What do you want me to say? I blew it.

BUFFY. You didn't blow it.

FAITH. Tell that to the --

BUFFY. People die. You lead them into battle, they die. No matter how smart you are, or how ready, war is about death. Needless, stupid death.

FAITH. So here's the laugh-riot. My whole life, I've been a loner.

FAITH. Okay. The point? Me, by myself all the time, and looking at you, everything you have, and I don't know... Jealous. And then there I am, everybody looking to me, trusting me to lead 'em... and I never felt more alone in my life.

FAITH. And that's you every day, isn't it?



I don’t say that I agree with everything she does. She takes the “general” role to an extreme (for instance, during Chloes’ suicide). But I think that she’s having a very difficult time this season. We don’t get smart-ass sassy Buffy anymore, we get dead serious general Buffy. I think that it's difficult to be a great friend when you're under this much pressure.
 
M
MrsDupas
I think she did the best she could in S7. Besides, letting people in was never her strong suit. Prob the only difference is that she relied more on Spike, although never to the point of confiding in him.

Giovanna

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I don’t say that I agree with everything she does. She takes the “general” role to an extreme (for instance, during Chloes’ suicide). But I think that she’s having a very difficult time this season. We don’t get smart-ass sassy Buffy anymore, we get dead serious general Buffy. I think that it's difficult to be a great friend when you're under this much pressure.
I think that Buffy is somewhat entitled when it comes to relationships, including friendships. I never understood why she kept people out all the time. I mean, the Scoobies are literally putting their lives on the line for her. They’ve gone through so much together and she still uses the “they don’t understand” speech? I get that as seasons go by, the Big Bads are scarier and S7 is particularly difficult. But still, I don’t understand why she doesn’t trust them.
 

FirstEvil78

From beneath you, it devours... Spuffy lover
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I think that for me, the most difficult part is to understand why and how she bonds with Spike in S7. I’m a Spuffy lover and LOVE S7, but I haven’t been able to cleary see the path leading to the trusting and deep relationship that they have at the end of the show. Throughout S7, it is all about: “he has a soul,” “they don’t understand,” and “this is war.” I always feel that there’s a missing piece that I can’t find.
 

sosa lola

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Buffy is a good friend. Period. She gets misunderstood a lot, especially by the characters on the show. Her worst flaw is her tendency to lie (usually to spare her loved ones the harsh truths - sympathetic, but never really does her or them any good.)

I also think that Buffy also gets preoccupied with her life and problems (which are grand and pretty much life threatening) that she misses the pain and problems others face. Since I view the show as Buffy's prospective, I feel the reason we never got to see Joyce at work or Joyce's friends or learn much about her problems and social life was because Buffy rarely asked or talked about it with her mother. Same goes for Xander, Willow, Cordelia and Oz' families and backgrounds.

It is understandable, though, like when Buffy didn't feel like going to Tara's birthday party, a lot was going on in her life at the time, and that's usually the case for Buffy, so I don't hold it against her. Especially since she did go to the birthday party after all.

I can say she was a better friend to them than they were to her many times. Especially when they gang up on her to vent their frustrations & blame her for everything. Yoko Factor come to mind here.
I thought they were all mad at each other in the Yoko Factor. They didn't gang up on Buffy in that episode.
 

nightshade

Your grandfather is a cat
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Yes and no. For the most part I think she was, but I think she often overlooked how her friends were feeling. Things like when Oz left, even though she herself had been through the same thing with Angel she didn't seem as there for Willow as Willow was for her.
 

darkspook

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Yes and no. She is a good friend in High School such as encouraging Willow to date Oz, offering Cordelia an olive branch in 'The Wish' and bantering with Xander. As time went on however I would say no. She becomes wrapped on her own world (Riley S4, Spike S7) and very much keeps herself at a distance from the group by season 7. I tend to think none of the group are that great friends with each other. Think back to S1 & S2 and how many scenes started to seeing Willow, Buffy & Xander just shooting the breeze and hanging out. You saw none of it in S6 & S7. They're are alienated from one another, still hurting deep down inside from a dozen different issues, and still don't seem able to understand where things went wrong or what they're missing.
 

CHK DeWilSon

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Despite the OCD writing from my perspective for series 7, I would say yes she is a true friend to Willow and Xander.

Of course Buffy isn't the perfect friend is that she can be righteous, selfish and secretive. Her life as a slayer and what it entails and the struggles she has endure has her believing at times that he knows best to have the tough lesson of learning she doesn't.

All the scoobies have gone through a lot of traumas in this supernatural life they find themselves in and at time have lost their way however the strength of their friendship is that they will find their way back to each other and forgive one another for all the hurt they have put each other through.

No matter what side of the fence that some may be on regarding Buffy's love life, it's her friendships with Willow and Xander and what they have come to mean to her is what has had Buffy survive for so long in her slayer life as was evidence from the episode The Wish.

So yes, any major issues that have come between them has fracture her friendships with them both, but has not irreconcilable broken down.

As far as I can tell for Buffy, Willow and Xander aren't just her friends anymore, they are her family and with everything that has happened, she would protect them with her life.
 
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