Nicholas Brendon Charged with Domestic Violence

[DeadlyDuo]

I think jail time could send him spiralling even deeper and could possibly end up killing him via suicide. All the problems he's facing on the outside world are still going to be there when he gets out, perhaps even worse because they were building whilst he was on the inside. He won't be able to do conventions so he'll have no income, bills will still need paying regardless of if he's working or not. If he can't keep up with mortgage/rent payments he'll have no home to go back to. If sent to jail some of his social contacts might cut him off, it was clear he wasn't welcome at the Buffy reunion, hence why he was photographed separately from the main cast then photoshopped into the big group picture. His agent might drop him if he's considered unmarketable, especially as he's not got the star power behind him. Any progress he's made in the intervening years since the incident is going to be undone.

Yes, who does this domestic abuse victim think she is, taking her time making an important decisions that will have dire consequences for herself and her ex?

Taking a bit of time to think things through is one thing, taking a whole year and a half is quite another. If she was so eager to press charges, why didn't she do it sooner?

He's done wrong, nobody is disputing that, but he should've been charged at the time if it was that serious, rather than been allowed to move on only to be dragged right back down again.

 

[Spanky]

I think jail time could send him spiralling even deeper and could possibly end up killing him via suicide.

And women abusers tend not to fare too well in jail.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

It's so easy to say, "He needs to go to jail." if you've never been there. Someone like Nick (who is probably bipolar and has a substance abuse problem) would only get worse if incarcerated. If anything, counseling sessions and perhaps AA meetings would be beneficial. But you have to want help before you can be helped.

 

[Spanky]

It's so easy to say, "He needs to go to jail."

I think it's funny that people think sending him to jail would make a positive difference and actually hope he does end up there.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

I think it's funny that people think sending him to jail would make a positive difference and actually hope he does end up there.

Well, most people don't have the experience of actually being arrested, booked, and put in jail. It's not a rehabilitation center. 😅 More like a holding tank, where you're surrounded by people who have absolutely no desire to better themselves. If Nick were in jail, he'd just learn new ways to get drugs...and be introduced to even harder stuff.

 

[brinkster130]

I think it's funny that people think sending him to jail would make a positive difference and actually hope he does end up there.

I think it's the idea that sometimes someone has to hit rock bottom before they realize they need to make a real change. I don't think people think jail would take the place of rehab and legit therapy, or make his life magically better; but his mini stints in rehab and his questionable therapists clearly haven't worked for him.

 

[Spanky]

I think it's the idea that sometimes someone has to hit rock bottom before they realize they need to make a real change. I don't think people think jail would take the place of rehab and legit therapy, or make his life magically better; but his mini stints in rehab and his questionable therapists clearly haven't worked for him.

But it seems like he has changed. There's been no instances or headlines since this infraction. Nor has he posted seemingly drunk tweets.

 

[Ceadsearc03]

I think people are forgetting that it isn’t solely up to the victim whether charges are pressed. It may have nothing to do with what the woman decided and everything to do with whatever case the PD has been building and whatever decision they made. It’s not that common but charges can be brought even without victim cooperation.

He was charged with other DV charges at the time so they may have been building a case for more.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Ya, who the hell thought it was a good system to take a bunch of addicts and put them all somewhere together with drug dealers.

It's a terrible idea, believe me. I've been in rehab soooo many times, it's insane. Most of us don't want to be there anyway. You might have one or two people who are serious about the program, but usually we're there because our families, friends, or significant others have insisted that we go. So, we go just to shut them up. Seriously, we don't want to be there! It's not uncommon for people to sneak in drugs...hell, I've done it. 😅 Then it's a game of hide and seek with the staff. It's kind of like Mission Impossible...there's only so many places you can hide your stash in a rehab facility!

The first few days, we suffer and sweat through the detox...then we all hang out talking about drugs, and how we're going to score the MINUTE we get out. Sometimes we exchange numbers, or names of doctors that prescribe large amounts of pills. (Not anymore, though, because these days, most doctors are too afraid of losing their licenses) Mostly, its kind of like high school. People hook up, have sex when staff isn't looking, stuff toilet paper in the smoke detectors so they can sneak a cigarette... and do everything humanly possible to avoid those AA panels.

Rehabs just don't work. But they're fun for socialising with other addicts. And just sitting on your ass, eating stuff. Oh, and stealing the towels...a lot of those places spend BIG money to make us feel "at home." (Ooooh, those big, fluffy towels are just amazing. I have several in my closet. Muahahahaha)

As for Nick: like I said before, perhaps counseling sessions and/or AA meetings might help him. But he has to want it. If he has no desire to get (and stay) clean, it won't happen.

 

[VisionGirl]

A lot of people here are making tons of assumptions about the victim. And that information is simply not known from the links that we have. What we do know is that court cases can take a long time. And that assault and domestic violence are criminal crimes that are prosecuted by law.

Also, I suggest you read all the comments on this. I do NOT think he is clean and sober, as he claims to be. He has had problems, although he’s kept clear of the law.

https://www.facebook.com/371244096226917/posts/2894656753885626

 

[thrasherpix]

Oliver had some insightful things to say about what a legalized scam rehab centers are:

I already knew it. I once read a comic that got me curious in looking up the more trivial addictions and somehow ended up on a site to find out if I needed help for chemical dependency. Since I only included my drug (including alcohol) use from the age of 18 on, there wasn't a lot to report, and it's been extremely rare that I've drank or used pot (the latter I can count on one hand) since I was 22. I was at least 30 when I took that online self-assessment, and after answering pages of questions they then tried to force me to give my email before giving me my results. I was so mad that I gave a very profane one on what they could do to themselves as an email address (and glad it got through!) and their automated program then gave me my results...that said I needed their immediate help or my life would be ruined.

I then knew it was a scam and started to ask others about it, wondering how many rehab centers were scams. Most didn't like my inquiry, and assumed I was just trying to promote drug abuse in their knee jerk thinking. But a few did share stories with me, like one who got sent to some kind of Narcotics Anonymous by the court only to find EVERYONE was there by court order, and they just expanded their knowledge of places to acquire their drugs as well as to talk about how awesome it was to get high so that they wanted to do it all the more.

A place I volunteered at had people serve there as part of community service, and one was there for dealing drugs...she just found new customers there.

It's not just that, the criminal justice system actually promotes rather than curbs many types of crime. One of the most disturbing I came across was in a documentary on a supermax prison in which a Mexican gang in prison were part of making new gang members from the streets more like a cult who would then force others into their gang back on the street and deliberately get the new recruits into prison so that they could also then be brainwashed into a cult like devotion to the gang. That is, they were using the prison system to create hardcore violent criminals that could never be rehabilitated, and made society more dangerous instead of less.

If I thought it worked, I'd be all for the war on drugs. But it just makes a bad problem worse (and not just that problem). Now if we used the Portugal way, and had jails and prisons more like in Scandinavia (where the focus is on rehabilitation rather than punishment, and knows to truly rehabilitate someone you got to get them enfranchised and into a different crowd that they ran with before) then it might actually work, at least better than the messed up problem we have now.


As for NB, I just don't feel I know enough to comment. If he was dangerously drunk (including in violence) then he should be put in the drunk tank until he sobered up, but other than that I don't know (or if his money that will allow him to pay out exorbitant fees to escape what those with no money would have to endure will make it less damaging or more)...I just know I don't have any confidence in the system to make him better. He'll have to do that himself, and since I don't know him, I don't even know if that's possible.

 

[katmobile]

It's funny I was a grunge fan and a depressing amount of people there have suffered from combinations of drug and mental health issues plus Keith Flint from the Prodigy (the dude in the Firestarter video) killed himself last month. That's just the well known was the war on drugs as it's been fought isn't winnable and has its roots deep in a lot of mental health and societal issues idk what the solution is but needs grass roots solutions that no one seems interested in finding.