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Nicholas Brendon Charged with Domestic Violence

DeadlyDuo

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I think jail time could send him spiralling even deeper and could possibly end up killing him via suicide. All the problems he's facing on the outside world are still going to be there when he gets out, perhaps even worse because they were building whilst he was on the inside. He won't be able to do conventions so he'll have no income, bills will still need paying regardless of if he's working or not. If he can't keep up with mortgage/rent payments he'll have no home to go back to. If sent to jail some of his social contacts might cut him off, it was clear he wasn't welcome at the Buffy reunion, hence why he was photographed separately from the main cast then photoshopped into the big group picture. His agent might drop him if he's considered unmarketable, especially as he's not got the star power behind him. Any progress he's made in the intervening years since the incident is going to be undone.

Yes, who does this domestic abuse victim think she is, taking her time making an important decisions that will have dire consequences for herself and her ex?
Taking a bit of time to think things through is one thing, taking a whole year and a half is quite another. If she was so eager to press charges, why didn't she do it sooner?

He's done wrong, nobody is disputing that, but he should've been charged at the time if it was that serious, rather than been allowed to move on only to be dragged right back down again.
 

Spanky

I'm came here to chew bubblegum and go off topic.
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Black Thorn
I think jail time could send him spiralling even deeper and could possibly end up killing him via suicide.
And women abusers tend not to fare too well in jail.
 

Anyanka Bunny Slayer

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It's so easy to say, "He needs to go to jail." if you've never been there. Someone like Nick (who is probably bipolar and has a substance abuse problem) would only get worse if incarcerated. If anything, counseling sessions and perhaps AA meetings would be beneficial. But you have to want help before you can be helped.
 

Anyanka Bunny Slayer

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I think it's funny that people think sending him to jail would make a positive difference and actually hope he does end up there.
Well, most people don't have the experience of actually being arrested, booked, and put in jail. It's not a rehabilitation center. 😅 More like a holding tank, where you're surrounded by people who have absolutely no desire to better themselves. If Nick were in jail, he'd just learn new ways to get drugs...and be introduced to even harder stuff.
 
Blaze
Blaze
Ya, who the hell thought it was a good system to take a bunch of addicts and put them all somewhere together with drug dealers.

brinkster130

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I think it's funny that people think sending him to jail would make a positive difference and actually hope he does end up there.
I think it's the idea that sometimes someone has to hit rock bottom before they realize they need to make a real change. I don't think people think jail would take the place of rehab and legit therapy, or make his life magically better; but his mini stints in rehab and his questionable therapists clearly haven't worked for him.
 

Spanky

I'm came here to chew bubblegum and go off topic.
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Black Thorn
I think it's the idea that sometimes someone has to hit rock bottom before they realize they need to make a real change. I don't think people think jail would take the place of rehab and legit therapy, or make his life magically better; but his mini stints in rehab and his questionable therapists clearly haven't worked for him.
But it seems like he has changed. There's been no instances or headlines since this infraction. Nor has he posted seemingly drunk tweets.
 

Ceadsearc03

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I think people are forgetting that it isn’t solely up to the victim whether charges are pressed. It may have nothing to do with what the woman decided and everything to do with whatever case the PD has been building and whatever decision they made. It’s not that common but charges can be brought even without victim cooperation.

He was charged with other DV charges at the time so they may have been building a case for more.
 

Anyanka Bunny Slayer

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Ya, who the hell thought it was a good system to take a bunch of addicts and put them all somewhere together with drug dealers.
It's a terrible idea, believe me. I've been in rehab soooo many times, it's insane. Most of us don't want to be there anyway. You might have one or two people who are serious about the program, but usually we're there because our families, friends, or significant others have insisted that we go. So, we go just to shut them up. Seriously, we don't want to be there! It's not uncommon for people to sneak in drugs...hell, I've done it. 😅 Then it's a game of hide and seek with the staff. It's kind of like Mission Impossible...there's only so many places you can hide your stash in a rehab facility!

The first few days, we suffer and sweat through the detox...then we all hang out talking about drugs, and how we're going to score the MINUTE we get out. Sometimes we exchange numbers, or names of doctors that prescribe large amounts of pills. (Not anymore, though, because these days, most doctors are too afraid of losing their licenses) Mostly, its kind of like high school. People hook up, have sex when staff isn't looking, stuff toilet paper in the smoke detectors so they can sneak a cigarette... and do everything humanly possible to avoid those AA panels.

Rehabs just don't work. But they're fun for socialising with other addicts. And just sitting on your ass, eating stuff. Oh, and stealing the towels...a lot of those places spend BIG money to make us feel "at home." (Ooooh, those big, fluffy towels are just amazing. I have several in my closet. Muahahahaha)

As for Nick: like I said before, perhaps counseling sessions and/or AA meetings might help him. But he has to want it. If he has no desire to get (and stay) clean, it won't happen.
 

VisionGirl

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A lot of people here are making tons of assumptions about the victim. And that information is simply not known from the links that we have. What we do know is that court cases can take a long time. And that assault and domestic violence are criminal crimes that are prosecuted by law.

Also, I suggest you read all the comments on this. I do NOT think he is clean and sober, as he claims to be. He has had problems, although he’s kept clear of the law.
 
FaithLehane16
FaithLehane16
Man! His eyes are bloodshot.

thrasherpix

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Oliver had some insightful things to say about what a legalized scam rehab centers are:


I already knew it. I once read a comic that got me curious in looking up the more trivial addictions and somehow ended up on a site to find out if I needed help for chemical dependency. Since I only included my drug (including alcohol) use from the age of 18 on, there wasn't a lot to report, and it's been extremely rare that I've drank or used pot (the latter I can count on one hand) since I was 22. I was at least 30 when I took that online self-assessment, and after answering pages of questions they then tried to force me to give my email before giving me my results. I was so mad that I gave a very profane one on what they could do to themselves as an email address (and glad it got through!) and their automated program then gave me my results...that said I needed their immediate help or my life would be ruined. :rolleyes:

I then knew it was a scam and started to ask others about it, wondering how many rehab centers were scams. Most didn't like my inquiry, and assumed I was just trying to promote drug abuse in their knee jerk thinking. But a few did share stories with me, like one who got sent to some kind of Narcotics Anonymous by the court only to find EVERYONE was there by court order, and they just expanded their knowledge of places to acquire their drugs as well as to talk about how awesome it was to get high so that they wanted to do it all the more.

A place I volunteered at had people serve there as part of community service, and one was there for dealing drugs...she just found new customers there.

It's not just that, the criminal justice system actually promotes rather than curbs many types of crime. One of the most disturbing I came across was in a documentary on a supermax prison in which a Mexican gang in prison were part of making new gang members from the streets more like a cult who would then force others into their gang back on the street and deliberately get the new recruits into prison so that they could also then be brainwashed into a cult like devotion to the gang. That is, they were using the prison system to create hardcore violent criminals that could never be rehabilitated, and made society more dangerous instead of less.

If I thought it worked, I'd be all for the war on drugs. But it just makes a bad problem worse (and not just that problem). Now if we used the Portugal way, and had jails and prisons more like in Scandinavia (where the focus is on rehabilitation rather than punishment, and knows to truly rehabilitate someone you got to get them enfranchised and into a different crowd that they ran with before) then it might actually work, at least better than the messed up problem we have now.


As for NB, I just don't feel I know enough to comment. If he was dangerously drunk (including in violence) then he should be put in the drunk tank until he sobered up, but other than that I don't know (or if his money that will allow him to pay out exorbitant fees to escape what those with no money would have to endure will make it less damaging or more)...I just know I don't have any confidence in the system to make him better. He'll have to do that himself, and since I don't know him, I don't even know if that's possible.
 

katmobile

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It's funny I was a grunge fan and a depressing amount of people there have suffered from combinations of drug and mental health issues plus Keith Flint from the Prodigy (the dude in the Firestarter video) killed himself last month. That's just the well known was the war on drugs as it's been fought isn't winnable and has its roots deep in a lot of mental health and societal issues idk what the solution is but needs grass roots solutions that no one seems interested in finding.
 
Octavia
Octavia
A cure would put pharma out of business. Of course they are uninterested in funding true treatment.

Sweet J

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So is he free? Everyone victim farming these days, enough to make a man feel nauseous.

Even Stalin was a victim, afraid of people recognizing what inhumanity was in him ...poor devils they are. These creatures.
 

Cohen

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Interesting he was charged with spousal abuse for his girlfriend. I wonder what constitutes a “spouse” in this instance. It appears in this instance spouse is a looser term than legal marriage. I don’t know what California law is though.
 

Sweet J

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I think he did get married to ''jane doe'', correction welcome if any of this is in error.

NB got married at some point, as far as I've heard...they separated. Had a restraining order, then 'Jane' went out for drinks with him. Which is a bit more than odd. Then he ''pulled her hair'' more than once, with the last, causing her to fall. Apparently it was a common occurrence according to 'Jane' of some usually mild hair pulling...whatever that means, never known of it occurring in public though?...This initally mild hair pulling, that from what could be interpreted, in some uninhibited false sense of trying to re-ignite the flames of the night, or keeping them alive...commenced after a drink or two, involving what may have been preceived as playful hair pulling, that they shared in intimacy between the two at some point before, with this false-placed playfullness, then escalated to the calamity, or alternatively, the playfulness, descended into intentional coercive violence that he was charged with.

In the calamity side of the story, as 'Jane' turned away and NB drunkenly reached out to tug her hair...a giant mis-timed-drunken-calamity ensued. That's one side of the story, whether there was any coerciveness behind it, we don't know, depends on the witnesses, Jane, NB and cameras that might have captured the event.

Though I share with you, that the entire encouter sounds bizarre from the beginning Just in the present moment, I'm concerned that we haven't heard anything about this since May...so wondering, did the trial go into the twilight zone, or some kind of out of court, non-published, hush-hush payout?

While NB or anyone should be prosecuted to the full extend of the law if this was violent coercion, it does and it is likely it was made from the outset seem a bit antagonistic to 'go out for a drink' with someone you have a restraining order against. Not a coffee but 'a drink' in a bar with the man you have a restraining order against and are still married to.

What exact message is that sending, to someone, to anyone? With a subtext is there that they're 'back together', then no psych I'm leaving, was it all a setup just to have him hope that there was something between the two that night? With it seems he did the usually mild hair pulling, once and it didn't go down well...then minutes later tried it again, as Jane was turning and walking and well, the calamity ensued. I doubt someone in a monstrously drunken state could have timed that. In that last tug, which was what caused the damage. So unless he pursued her on foot and ran up behind her etc. which actually no reports even remotely claim, you do get the impression it was more a calamity than intentional.

If somone says 'quit it' to something an act you once both consider playful, that's on the line. You wait till later and do it again and it's over that line. However this is assuming everyone is in a sober mind.

In a drunken mind, it could somewhat be seen how innocously believed ''she's out on a date with me, she used to like me pulling her hair, maybe if I do it gently again, that'll please her''.

When you likely are not so gentle in the state of total confused drunk,edness nor able to have any notion of good timing. Anyway, this is all just one ''not guilty'' line of reasoning. the other fan-hysteria-generated narrative, is that NB really does have some problem necessitating restrainment, with taking onboard what 'quit it and stop pulling my hair'' translate to, as a disagreeable answer. However he himself may have felt manipulated into the situation or exploited and used or treated in a degrading inhumane manner. You don't get a pass for more than two on 'playful' matters. Unless it is a request for thumb wars, then as we all know, you get three throughout an entire day, but that's a playful request so it's incomparably different.

In any case, they are the two extremes of the narrative told. Which one it actually was, we don't know.

Just one thing is certain. We should recoil from coercion of any kind. Controlling manipulative behavior is disgusting no matter which gender it's on.

Though as all this has been said, with different camps flying their flags high already, with no progression in understanding of what really happened, then everything having died down in May, ever since all has been weirdly quiet, so does anyone know or care to comment, Is Nicholas Brendon a free man today?
 
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Ceadsearc03

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Well, considering he has a history of this & a known alcohol problem I’m going to be inclined to believe the victim.

As for whether he’s free, I have no idea. I don’t think he is currently famous enough for most tabloids to give him a lot of day to day coverage. Chances are he was given bail, especially considering he continues to be active on Instagram. I don’t think it’s surprising a trial hasn’t happened yet as the court system takes forever.
 

Ethan Reigns

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Who would take someone who is an alcoholic out for drinks that she has a restraining order against unless she was trying to incite an incident that would factor into the court proceedings? I am inclined to believe the narrative about what happened but this has "setup" written all over it. She would know about him becoming an uncontrollable drunk and the only reason to do this would be to gain extra evidence.
 

Ceadsearc03

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Who would take someone who is an alcoholic out for drinks that she has a restraining order against unless she was trying to incite an incident that would factor into the court proceedings? I am inclined to believe the narrative about what happened but this has "setup" written all over it. She would know about him becoming an uncontrollable drunk and the only reason to do this would be to gain extra evidence.
Maybe, but also abusive relationships are complicated & it is just hard to explain the way your mind compartmentalizes and believes they’ve changed and things can be fixed etc. if you haven’t been there. It could be a set up but things aren’t black and white. And even if it IS a set up, I mean, you still don’t go around abusing people. There are tons of alcoholics who don’t get drunk and rough people up.

I’m sure whenever it goes to trial the details will come out.

Based on this update it sounds like they’re trying to reach a deal, and have another court date later this month.

 
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