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On the topic of women....

GraceK

Grr Arrg
Joined
Nov 3, 2016
Messages
1,154
Age
32
Things have changed a lot since I was a kid. Wow and when I see that in words it makes it sound like I’m a 70 when I’m only 32. But it’s the truth. I don’t remember this emphasis on feminism when I was growing up. And yet I never doubted my sense of femininity or feminine empowerment. I had so many great role models in the 90s.. even our Saturday cartoons had strong female characters.Pepper Ann, Angelica from rugrats, Helga from Hey Arnold. We had Buffy, Charmed, Xena, Topanga from Boy meets world....and none of it was preachy at all. Seriously, it was so normal. It was taken for granted that girls were just as good as boys and that was it. I never doubted it. I was teased in school like every kid at different times but not for being a girl. My mom always taught me that if I was hit, hit back. That my voice mattered. That I could do anything. All this stuff about how girls aren’t treated fairly or boys have it easier never made it into my thinking, not even among my peers. 🤷🏻‍♀️. When I got older and a guy said something I didn’t like I told him to shove it up his ass and that was that. Now it’s like everything is such a big deal and it’s like I feel I was living under a rock or something. I feel so many things in tv today purposely try for a feminist angle and just come across as so political and cheesy and slanted.
 
thrasherpix
thrasherpix
So much this! And people who say there weren't any strong female characters until a few years ago apparently never read or watched anything until recently.
thetopher
thetopher
Truth karma. :)

AshSlays

No, I'm a rebel. You're an idiot.
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
195
Age
12
Location
The cursed area of tons of sweet tea (Arkansas)
Black Thorn
Thankfully, I was never forced to "act like a lady". Really, the only big rule my family has is don't be a huge bitch.

However, all those emotions that we're "expected" to have really piss me off. It's not your bloody business if I'm emotional or not. Also, not all women fit completely under the category of "feminine" either. Case in point: me and my best friend. He's a lot more feminine than me and I'm a lot more masculine than him. If I were just to list off our mannerisms and nothing else, you'd be a lot less likely to believe that I'm a woman apart from the fact that I occasionally paint my nails.
 

ILLYRIAN

Druish Pervonian Wizard
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
Messages
5,781
Age
63
Location
Toodyay
Black Thorn
Invited to HoppyHippy's place is Anyanka HoppyHippy's Bunny Slayer.
Start hopping away now HoppyHippy's Bunny's
 

HoppyHippy

My arse is not pansy!
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
5,692
Location
Australia
Sineya
Things have changed a lot since I was a kid. Wow and when I see that in words it makes it sound like I’m a 70 when I’m only 32. But it’s the truth. I don’t remember this emphasis on feminism when I was growing up. And yet I never doubted my sense of femininity or feminine empowerment. I had so many great role models in the 90s.. even our Saturday cartoons had strong female characters.Pepper Ann, Angelica from rugrats, Helga from Hey Arnold. We had Buffy, Charmed, Xena, Topanga from Boy meets world....and none of it was preachy at all. Seriously, it was so normal. It was taken for granted that girls were just as good as boys and that was it. I never doubted it. I was teased in school like every kid at different times but not for being a girl. My mom always taught me that if I was hit, hit back. That my voice mattered. That I could do anything. All this stuff about how girls aren’t treated fairly or boys have it easier never made it into my thinking, not even among my peers. 🤷🏻‍♀️. When I got older and a guy said something I didn’t like I told him to shove it up his ass and that was that. Now it’s like everything is such a big deal and it’s like I feel I was living under a rock or something. I feel so many things in tv today purposely try for a feminist angle and just come across as so political and cheesy and slanted.
We grew up with similar tv, I am in my 30's too- but the older I get the more expectations seem to be tightening and getting stricter under the guise of equality. When I was a teenager I did hit back, not a single guy in school messed with me after they found out how good my kicking aim was. I was never teased because I bit back just as hard. But as I have got older and tired its slipped into my conscious just to accept "my role" as a woman. Especially as I am so against breeding, its like people want to put me in my place.

And the more I think on this the more I see expectations for me were entirely different for that of my stepsister (who is 2 months younger than me) and I think that is where I struggle so much as to why the rules were so different for me. Why my "unwomanly" behaviour was so unacceptable but hers was fine in that family structure. The behaviour that was womanly (ie crying) is punished, the biology is punished, the sensitivities are teased. (I spend half a month in menstrual migraines and that is seen as gross, disordered and wrong when it is completely normal for women on my mothers side) My own mother has never enforced silly rules on me nor considered me crazy, she was a single mum and bloody strong in the face of more issues than I have ever had to deal with.

My stepsister was allowed to be butch, she was totally accepted as gay all throughout highschool in the 90's and into adult life, she was allowed to wear sports clothes and boys things, but I was not, I was held to a different standard and I don't understand why beside "you're pretty when you smile...." I am not driven by sexuality as many others seem to be right now. Maybe the way I present myself is why so many want to knock me down - I don't act like they expect and they think its weird and inappropriate when I speak my mind. Why? I am not hurting anyone by being what I am, I embrace the sensitivity but this society expects me to drugged down into something more palatable, something that doesn't think or question or react. I just do not understand it. I can tell ya, it was not like this when I was 17, I was far more respected as a teenager than I have ever been in adult life. Probably because I was seen as smart then and I am not now haha.

I think once men bash you enough times its just easier to roll over and take it. I don't really fit on the feminist spectrum at all cos I hate just as many woman who push their maternal roles on to me as men.
 

BuffyBot22

Scooby
Joined
Oct 28, 2016
Messages
846
Age
24
Location
US
Where I'm from Southern hospitality is a big deal. It's definitely a cultural thing.
But I was never taught to be lady like. Just to be polite and nice to others. Like hold the door open for someone. Say please & thank you. I feel like all of this just adds up to being decent
The only person close to me in my life that ever said anything thing to me about being lady like was my gay uncle.
He would always tell me "You should eat more lady like or you'll never get a man."
LOL I never cared what he had to say. My parents never stressed the lady like thing, so I just never let the weird shit he would say affect me.
And look at me now in a solid relationship for almost 7 years and he absolutely loves how I eat all messy just like him lol.

Anyways people these days have taken everything too far in both directions. Just be a decent human. Do you and stop worrying about everyone else.
If someone wants to be a stay at home Mom, Great. If someone wants to be career driven and never have a man or family, Great. If someone wants something in between, Also Great!
People need to worry about their own lives instead of everyone else's. That would honestly end so many problems.
 
HoppyHippy
HoppyHippy
My life is affected by outside pressures. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have so much distress over normal womanly behaviour. Im question why I must conform to the perceived role in order to avoid being deemed mentally unwell.

The Bronze

Rogue Demon Hunter
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
2,666
Age
33
Location
Essex
Black Thorn
I feel so many things in tv today purposely try for a feminist angle and just come across as so political and cheesy and slanted.
Absolutely this. There's definitely a tendency towards telling rather than showing now. Our generation (now I feel old as well) had good shows with good female characters. I never really gave it much thought and the shows never went out of their way to go on about it.

Now when some of the new stuff comes out there's an intro about feminism or smashing the patriarchy or whatever else (new Charmed). Then in the show there's god awful forced dialogue about it (new Sabrina). Another example is Scandal, where the entire first episode is full of characters falling over themselves to explain what an amazing, super strong woman the lead character is, rather than show the audience and let them decide.
 
GraceK
GraceK
Ugh new Charmed 🤮

Evil Seal

Alright, 10 more minutes of chanting.
Joined
Aug 22, 2017
Messages
439
Age
22
Location
France
Growing up I never knew where I fit in, I was a tomboy, I didn't like girlie stuff and didn't want to like it (because I didn't want people going "oh so she is a girl" since I always felt like a girl even dressed as Prince Charming for halloween). So I spent most of the time just trying to ignore all the kids and parents looking at me sideways and I only bought my first dress ever last July (it was liberating).
 
HoppyHippy
HoppyHippy
I got a batman showbag when i was 5, hated barbie but wanted a batmobile in pink
ILLYRIAN
ILLYRIAN
I'm so sorry HoppyHippy, did you mean that as in Batman and Robin, nothing to do with cricket, huh? Evil Seal was that Prince Charming as in Ant music?

thrasherpix

Scooby
Joined
Mar 13, 2016
Messages
2,262
Age
36
I was a tomboy as well, but more for pragmatic reasons. I was athletic and I played a lot in the woods, and plenty of time on a farm. If I messed up or ripped "boy clothes" it was no big deal. But if I did that to more expensive girl clothes like a dress then I was in trouble. Also, short hair was easier to maintain (and didn't get as tangled in cars and trucks with no AC but the window or even in the back of a pickup), so I preferred that, though as that normally cost money (and having someone else--especially a kid or myself--do it is a bit chancy) my hair length varied.

Granny tried to girl me up, but she wasn't obnoxious about it and didn't push too hard. Likewise, I'd grudgingly tolerate her doing so from time to time, but only for a short while.

It's probably worth noting that when I was 6 that the local girls (around my parents) shunned me...I presume the parents were concerned about my dysfunctional family and how it could filter into my play, and convinced the girls behind my back to stay away from me, though I don't know for sure. But from 6-10 I only played with the boys regularly when at home with my parents, and that surely affected me as well.
 

thrasherpix

Scooby
Joined
Mar 13, 2016
Messages
2,262
Age
36
How many others out there were taught to behave like a lady? Told to be polite and say thankyou and never make a fuss or misstep? How do you think this influenced the world, and do you think it is changing now?

Feminists appear to be seen at two extremes, either over the top with their freedom of voice or excessively strict in social standing. If you have girl bits, where do you fit? If you don't, what are your expectations of women, specifically young women- do you want them to be sugar and spice and all things nice, or individuals with the choice and chance to be heard? Even if you don't like what they say?
I have a difficult time with this question because neither one applies to me--or perhaps it's a bit of both but there was a different emphasis depending on whether you were male or female. It was, at the very least, implied that there were behavioral differences between male and female, but even girls were expected to be assertive at times (though not to the extent of boys). Manners were technically important to boys and girls, and it was joked that if you didn't show proper manners that your grandmother would whip them into you.

Individual views varied as well. For example, one male principal in bad need of firing thought it was outrageous that I kicked a boy in the face (I was 12, and going up the stairs as the boy goosed me repeatedly) but dismissed the boy's actions as "boys will be boys" (disclaimer: I do think most faculty members would've came down hard on both of us, not just me). In contrast, a different principle apparently felt girls were sugar and spice and therefore could only be misled into wrong actions by a boy (he was so old and yet so naïve), which plenty of girls took advantage of but I would not...and he did not know what to do with me.


For the most part, I think gender roles seemed to be passed along by example, by media (especially those aimed at girls which portrayed females very differently from regular media), and some churches also make a very big deal about it as well. That is for the most part there isn't someone who formally gives us lessons on being a boy or a girl (rather we're taught to be a decent person regardless), it's just absorbed without us knowing, invisible for the most part as the air we breathe.

Further complicating it is boys AND girls are also given contradictory messages of what is proper behavior (and what is important) which muddy the issue as we try to work through them the best we can, often caught in catch-22 situations that we navigate as best we can, unsure of ourselves.


ETA: there are more than those 2 extremes of feminism, but those are the clickbait kind that will garner the most internet attention. Suffice to say I don't go with either extreme. There is a difference between being polite & kind and being spineless, as there is a difference between being assertive/expressive and being obnoxious.

I will say some of this over the top "smash the patriarchy" crap that is filtering into media is less effective than plenty of strong female characters that existed before, in part because these new females aren't typically allowed major weaknesses or failures, which makes them unrelatable and thus placing too high expectations upon those who view them as role models.
 
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HoppyHippy
HoppyHippy
Yes obsorbed is a great way to put it. I have found the line between obnoxious and assertive yet hah

Anyanka Bunny Slayer

Black sun/blood moon
Joined
Dec 17, 2015
Messages
5,403
Black Thorn
I feel sorry for all the really young girls who are constantly bombarded with these over-blown Kardashian-inspired images. When I was 13 or 14, the only things most girls worried about was having shiny hair and jeans that fit well. But now, the media is full of images of Kylie Jenner, and her surgically altered face/body. She looks like a slutty cartoon. And these young girls want to be like her, hating their own appearance, feeling inadequate. They're just kids! And now they have to deal with this "new world order" where political correctness reigns, where everyone is a victim, everyone expects a participation trophy for doing nothing, and everyone wants an apology because SOMEONE hurt their feelings. Such a sad world that teens have to navigate. Plus, there's absolutely NO great television shows anymore. All these empty reality shows, and moronic hip hop artists having weekly shoot outs...meh.
 
Bluebird
Bluebird
I don't think I would have survived social media as a teen
HoppyHippy
HoppyHippy
U get me

Fuffy Baith

2017 (and 2016) Cutest BB member
Joined
Mar 14, 2014
Messages
3,918
Age
31
Location
CA
Sineya
I grew up very much a tomboy, and I would be told to act like a lady, but my parents never really corrected my behavior. They always loved me for who I was and never expected me to be something I wasn't. It wasn't until I got in my teens that I started to become aware of my behavior and made a conscious choice to be more polite and act well behaved in public. I don't find that it is a social construct that forces me, but rather a sense of karma. And even a little bit of guilt. It's hard to accept people being nice to you when you think you don't deserve it. As an adult I try to improve myself in little ways and being a good person is one of those, I often look to Buffy as a role model. She's got her moments of being childish and selfish but she always does the right thing. In terms of society, there's nothing wrong with growing up learning to be respectful and well-behaved as long as it doesn't hinder the child's sense of themself.

do you want them to be sugar and spice and all things nice, or individuals with the choice and chance to be heard?
Well, I don't see any reason why you can't be both? You can be an individual who makes their own decisions AND be a nice person that is caring and respectful to other people. The two aren't mutually exclusive. You can raise smart, capable children who are also polite and well-behaved.
 
HoppyHippy
HoppyHippy
By that phrase I meant seen but not heard. That was considered "proper" pre approx1970's

ifeveristoday

Townie
Joined
Jan 24, 2019
Messages
22
I'm a feminist that believes in equality for the genders and that means not shaming people for their personal choices -- if, and this is a big if, it doesn't harm others. I've seen a few posts complaining about the perception of strong women in their day (let's say the 90s) vs the new millennial (remember older millennials are in their 30s) and Gen Z programming. While I agree that the capitalist version of Feminism is clunky and very Obvious (I haven't seen new Charmed, but Roberto Aguirre Sacasa's Riverdale and Sabrina are about branding themselves as Feminist! Woke! Inclusive! with the execution being more generic than authentic. One Day at a Time has more fun with this in Elena's character - she's a believable 17 year old who is a minority - lesbian, Cuban, and cares Deeply about pronouns and other issues that have been mocked as SJW/political correctness gone wrong - she's allowed to be passionate about these things, but the show lovingly shows her when she's being wrong or woke for the appearance of it - but it never shames her. It's one of the few portrayals of a modern teenager that I really believe in.)

Smash the patriarchy isn't subtle and I agree it has been overdone as a slogan in popular media as of late - but the feeling has always been there - and why? Because it hasn't fully absorbed. Everyone's experiences aren't the same and that makes for interesting differences. I grew up in a single immigrant parent home and I can say that I was certainly told to act a certain way but by the time I was an American teenager, my conservative mother gave up on a lot of that 'act like a lady' stuff. I agree that there have always been strong women characters in our popular culture, but the form she takes is slightly different each generation (unto each generation a new Female Archetype is born, adored, then pilloried for the next reincarnation). Strong covers so much territory - it's not only physical strength (where people would complain that the Strong Female Character was basically a man in a skirt) but also emotional strength (where people would complain because the woman character was crying TOO much or NOT enough or WAS NOT SMASHING THINGS, HULK STYLE) . I remember reading an interview with Stephenie Meyers where she wrote that Bella was a reaction to Buffy, that girls didn't have to fight or be a superhero to be strong - which while a generally true statement, completely reduces Buffy to being just a slayer and not the complicated, nuanced woman she became. I may have misquoted S Meyers but Twilight was never my jam.

Feminism to me attempts to address the imbalances of society and the injustices that burden people who are not the majority. It's not talking points or sponsored marches with cute hats or hashtags or a Very Special Episode of the week, it's about teaching women that they have layers and can actually do what they want without society stepping in and saying, "You know what I said about women being equal to men? Well, I'm not gonna pay you what men get and good luck finding a sitter, you have to come into work anyway." Women are scientists, homemakers, chefs, designers, kindergarten teachers, soldiers, doctors, lawyers, nurses, book editors, retail workers, presidents (in other countries besides the USA) and activists. It's not about acting like a lady - a lady can do all those things above and more. A lady can also be a serial killer. It's a tired idea because the push for boys to act like gentlemen doesn't seem to be as widespread. Good for the parents who taught their daughter that they were equal to their brothers, what did they do when the outside world didn't match up to their parents' ideals? Feminism means equality for all people without sacrificing the dignities of another. It's leveraging privilege so that everyone has a chance to succeed. It's not the mentality that everyone is a victim (rich CEOs and politicians? Are not victims. They're architects and players of the long con.) or if everyone is special, no one is special, Charlie Brown trombone noise plays over a participation award ceremony. It's about saying pink meaning girls is stupid, that putting 'man' in front of something does not make it inherently masculine and is a stupid marketing ploy aimed at insecure dudes who won't use the same soap as women (or maybe they just prefer Arctic Blast scent who knows), it's about realizing and learning vocabulary to deal with the bad stuff that has evolved and grown up with us from centuries ago. Violence and racism and sexism have always been there, politics are personal, and it feels a lot like Mr. Rogers's creed of being kind to our neighbor has been long forgotten. It's imperfect and it's adjusting - but it is necessary, more than ever.

The good intentions are there behind the writing, I just wish the good writing would actually catch up, but I think it's a small important step - the population is changing and it's important that our popular culture reflects the population. Also, a suggestion, see if your criticisms would be the same if applied to a male lead, or a predominantly male show.

The Kardashians are a symptom of society failing women, not the end of days. It is really hard for teenagers because they're constantly surveilled and surrounded by conflicting images of what is cool and popular, and how it appears that society is awarding the loudest, flashiest, fakest scheme - it's understandable how they could fall for it, but you know, brains still growing - critical thinking needs to be encouraged at this time. And sometimes it's just a fun stupid shiny thing, and not that deep. I have hope for teenagers, I always do.
 
HoppyHippy
HoppyHippy
Its defo end of days. Looking forward to armageddon lol

Bluebird

two by two, hands of blue
Joined
May 17, 2008
Messages
5,855
Black Thorn
I realise reading this thread that the implication is a parental figure laying down the social etiquette law, but I have to do that when I'm out with my mum. She is the public embarrassment, being very very unladylike. Suppose that's why I love her.
 

HoppyHippy

My arse is not pansy!
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
5,692
Location
Australia
Sineya
I realise reading this thread that the implication is a parental figure laying down the social etiquette law, .

Spot on. I think living where i do right now has regressed me and I am having a real hard time with it. The gap between BB and my 'world' is massive right now. My two bestest mates have had babies in the last month, I dont have any 'real life' childfree friends now. They are all baby obsessed and I am not. Those I chat to online mostly live in the family home and I am well passed that stage of parental dependence. I can't find a single person of my own age and similar experiences to relate to. I find even my opinions on Buffy seem outdated (ie, s6 and 7 seem just as important to buffy's journey to womanhood as the high school years, have others here just not got to that stage yet or have i overidentified?)

The people i socialise with locally are all at least a decade or five older than me and its tough to be patronised at every turn. I dont know why i keep going out tbh, the other day someone introduced me with "she doesnt shave her legs!"

@brinkster130 I had the chance tell a 50+ yr old woman who tried to set me up again that I prefer to spank men. The reaction wasnt as hilliarious as I had hoped, they were just utterly confused. I get that same look when I say I dont want babies.

Later when transgender came up, as it inevidibly does in the current social climate, i did not elaborate past "I am christian and do not support hormonal medications nor surgery, but I'm pretty sure Jesus wore a skirt", A lady exclaimed "you know that Jesus was a black man, dont you?" like that would change my beliefs... Can ya understand why I am perpetually confused by the world? Lol. Thanks for your patience.

My father is very successful and I was often paraded around like a doll for him to show off. I did not fit in with that world and was a constant embarassment yet was unable to escape the commitments. I looked too pretty in photographs. He'd spend outrageous amounts on dresses but neglected to supply the other essentials a young woman in his care needed. If I verbalised these needs, he was grossly offended, girls should not speak of bras, hormones and period poverty! I run into this attitude a LOT and I always question it, usually ending up ruminating if i should be disgusted with myself for my bodies needs. I try to avoid the topic of biological changes but my mental migraines are so obviously debilitating and in oz trans is a hot topic at the pub. I end up wondering why the natural functioning of a womans body is disgusting and requires sedation but a man wanting to surgically alter his body into the apperance of a woman is universally celebrated.

Believe it or not, I am one of the only people who speaks respectfully to the trans person at the pub... They constanatly ask for make up and fashion tips like my vagina came with a beauty manual. I do not understand why a woman is expected to automatically know and be interested in such petty, boring things.

I think for me (but unsure) its all about acceptance, and lack there of for anything out side of the media norm. The media moulds a a wide range of people into "acceptance" but appears to pick and choose who it excludes as to what is hashtag hot. Even online i face shock and awe over my every day life, its tiring. Social media has so much influence, I dont think those caught up in it even see nor question what they are fed on facebook. Frustrating. Is it actually real everyday women who need a billboard and hashtag campain to be accepted, regardless of if we are seen with boob juice on the shirt or - make-up-less, hairy legs, braless, unpretty? Like, I loved Xena growing up, but it would have been more realistic if she had hairy armpits or popped a tit now and then.

When I was in high school make up was not requied, we regularly went for the tights over the razor, and weekends were spent mud puddle sliding. The art school had boys who wore dresses, girls playing rugby/footy and striaght men who were more emotional than a girl dumped after a dud root. Times have changed now - it suddenly SO taboo to reject social and beauty norms that it spins my mind. Is it my age or the age?

Is it just my country that decided all women should do as media does (beautifying selfies etc) and if you dont you are defective? Personally i feel like the message I get everytime I leave my isolation tells me I am wrong for being me and holding beliefs that I have critically analysed. Its easier to stay away from the world, but my ambition doesnt want to give up on it. Tough spot and I am not sure which direction to go. I love myself most when I reject society and live in my own space, but that is a dangerous position for someone with a mental health record... And frankly I need my neighbours for their fresh produce.

Once more with Feeling is more relevent than ever.
 
ifeveristoday
ifeveristoday
I would find it odd if your opinions/thought processes haven't changed from your youth to now. I don't like season 7 from a writer's standpoint, but s6 and s7 are definitely important to Buffy's journey.

Anyanka Bunny Slayer

Black sun/blood moon
Joined
Dec 17, 2015
Messages
5,403
Black Thorn
I end up wondering why the natural functioning of a womans body is disgusting and requires sedation but a man wanting to surgically alter his body into the apperance of a woman is universally celebrated
I wouldn't say it's "universally" celebrated, and thank GOD for that. There's only so much insanity I can stand in my life. A man trying to "change into a woman" will always be looked upon as a nutter. Period. Though many people will pretend to accept it, because they want to appear "enlightened." I, on the other hand, don't care about that.

In most social situations, I'm usually the child at the end of "The Emperor's New Clothes." 😅
 

ifeveristoday

Townie
Joined
Jan 24, 2019
Messages
22
Eh, even in my most cynical moments I don't think it's the end of days. Granted, the stuff that's going on with the environment and major governments make me think less of people.
My general outlook is the modified Golden rule - to treat people as I want to be treated. Unless we're dealing with Nazis and/or the willfully ignorant. That doesn't deserve my empathy or time.
 

Anyanka Bunny Slayer

Black sun/blood moon
Joined
Dec 17, 2015
Messages
5,403
Black Thorn
My life-long rule has always been, "Do whatever the hell you want, just DON'T demand that I accept it."

Like everyone else, I have opinions. And I'd really prefer not to argue about who is right....but when you're on social media there's always some douche nozzle that feels it's their duty to call you out. That's one of the reasons that I recently deleted my Instagram. Too much crap, and I just got tired of it. I don't like to argue because I already know that I tend to "overreact." 😅 Yeah, I don't WANT to argue. But I WILL. Don't make me do it. 😇
 
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HoppyHippy

My arse is not pansy!
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
5,692
Location
Australia
Sineya
I wouldn't say it's "universally" celebrated, and thank GOD for that. There's only so much insanity I can stand in my life. A man trying to "change into a woman" will always be looked upon as a nutter. Period. Though many people will pretend to accept it, because they want to appear "enlightened." I, on the other hand, don't care about that.

In most social situations, I'm usually the child at the end of "The Emperor's New Clothes." 😅
Yeah universally was an overstatement but I am sick of being seen as hateful for not falling over myself to accommodate their mental issues while mine, relatated to biology, are seen as defective and obtuse. I hate being viewed as hateful. My actions are very far from that even if my words dont always match.

Thanks for the discussion peeps, I appreciate all your words even if it takes a while for my brain to process them. Its all learning for me. I well and truly wiped myself out with physical work again. Posting from the loo which is probably obvious from my typos.

Thats yet another thing that gets on my nerves, keep up with the men (or surpass them) in physical efforts, and be celebrated (at least in youth), but be a bit soft and react to too much grunt stuff, seek self care and its again a weakness - when its really where a woman naturally sits and excels. Self care for me is not about nails and hair and day spas, it is about relaxation in any way possible. I need to bring the vibrations down, counteract the masculine with inbuilt feminine. Dancing, prayer and meditation does that, those things are looked down on in public. Cant seem to win in this world haha.

@ifeveristoday believing it is end of days gives me hope. Another belief I appear not entitled to hold, but hold it anyway for my own well being. Do you consider the golden rule a spiritual stance or a social one?
 
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