@WillowFromBuffy
That's not what I am saying at all. We can at best make a reasonable guess about how the writers wants us to feel.
In this instance, I can't see anything in the text that condones infidelity, so I wouldn't assume the writers intended to condone it.
I don’t think I said that the show condoned infidelity.
In fact, if the show had been fine with infidelity then my tongue-in-cheek theory about Whedon wouldn’t have made sense. My theory was that Joss Whedon was using the characters to explain his feelings and assuage his guilt, that wouldn’t work if everything was condoned in the first place.
I said that the focus is on how bad Willow and Xander feel about what they’re doing. That isn’t condoning cheating, it’a portraying them sympathetically.
I was talking about it jokingly related it to Cordelia taking about hitting someone:
"It was the most traumatic event of
my life, and she was trying to make it about her leg, like my pain meant nothing!"
What frustrates me is all these the-writers-tried-to-make-me-feel-like-this-but-I-am-too-clever-for-them arguments. To make such an argument, you should have a pretty strong argument for why you think the writers wanted you to feel differently than you felt. Quite often, your against the grain interpretation may not be as against the grain as you thought.
I am sorry that my against the grain interpretation bothered you so much. I am not interested in rewatching the whole arc to analyze scene by scene the parts that I didn’t like and explain why that gives me the right to guess what the writers were going for.
I watched the show when it was on and I know how I felt about it then (FWIW, as the target audience, watching as the show was coming out, I felt very differently) and I’ve watched the show now, as an adult in different time period and with teenagers who weren’t around for the 90s. Based on that I have some thoughts about the show and a guess as to how we’re meant to feel.
I do apologize if the way I framed that triggered you, either feeling defensive for the writers or thinking that I am such an arrogant jackass as to presume that I might guess what emotions were being suggested.
I don’t believe it was unreasonable but, since I am not going to go point by point, we’ll have to agree to disagree about how specifically arrogant of a jackass I am in this regard.
But even if Whedon and his team really did want us to side with Xander and Willow, what does that have to do with Joss's transgression? Illicit kisses between two teens in high school is one thing. What Kai Cole has somewhat vaguely accused Joss of/insinuated that he has done, is much more serious. Kai Cole hints at a possible future MeToo scandal.
It was based on the excerpt of the letter he wrote to her, trying to explain what happened from his perspective and make what happened understandable to her. He discussed the societal pressures that put him in the situation and how he was able to live both of the conflicting roles society told him he was supposed to.
He was very concerned with getting her to understand what was going on his head through the process.
He also discusses both physical and inappropriate emotional affairs, so It’s not just about what he did physically, but also emotionally, and more importantly how he rationalized the situation to himself and how he dealt with his guilt.
And he is probably awesome because the writers deliberately wrote him to be exactly that, so that we would understand him to be sympathetic and sensible.
Well, yeah, obviously.
I’m only doing more than just agreeing with you here because I’m not clear why it was necessary to add unless your under the impression that I don’t respect the writing on the show.
I am rewatching the series, and literally joined a Buffy message board, solely because of how wonderful the show is. Obviously casting, sets, costumes, direction etc. all have a place in that love for the show, but none of that means anything without the writing.
If I get frustrated with an arc, or anything, that feels wrong in the story to me, or if I’m unhappy with the portrayal of certain characters (or, as you might put it, if decide that I’m way smarter than the writers and can see through there ploys), it’s not because I don’t think the writers are wonderful and effective, it’s because I DO think they’re wonderful and effective ...that’s why I like the show.
