Seeing Red rewatch my thoughts (non AR)

[darkspook]

Xander walks in on her and Spike having sex. She nibbles Spike's ear while Xander is talking to him. She hardly 'shows him no respect whatsoever'. She's teasing Spike not Xander. Xander should learn how to knock and stop barging into people's homes.
It's not Buffy's responsibility to 'show respect' to the person who just barged in on her.

It is a dismissive action that is mocking Xander as in a look you can’t see me along with teasing Spike. Buffy has always been fairly dismissive of Xander and his abilities.
Who is to say Xander didn’t knock before coming down? I think it’s clear that Spike and Buffy were busy so I doubt they would notice. Also how you be mad at Xander for barging in on Buffy when as you highlight he didn’t know she was there?

 

[darkspook]

I’m going to make an honest question: why do you think that Buffy is showing disrespect to Xander in “Gone”? She’s invisible, he clearly doesn’t even think that she might be around when he goes looking for Spike… I *see* no harm in that, it actually is a very powerful scene IMO. Buffy feels finally free to seek Spike herself because her friends (and by that, Xander most of the time) are quiet vocal about her life.

One of the things that I dislike about Xander S1-S6 is the way he judges and interferes with Buffy’s life. Whoever Buffy chooses to sleep with or not is none of his business (even if his heart is in the right place). And one of the *very* few things that I like about Seeing Red is Xander finally understanding that he might alienate his friends with that attitude (analogous to what he does in Revelations/Amends, by first openly confronting Buffy about Angel, and then apologizing and helping research what’s going on with him). And I think that the mutual understanding that they reach by the end of this episode helps them build a much healthier friendship in S7.

It’s disrespect as it shows her mocking his intellect. ‘Oh Xander will never see me he is clueless! Let’s have some fun!’ Her behaviour in the episode is pretty disgraceful across the board: getting a social worker into trouble for example. You say she finally feels free but she is only going to Spike because no one can see her with him. He even throws her out for that reason. Hardly much freedom there.
Yes Xander does hold Buffy in a high regard which means he has issues with her behaviour when she messes up or makes mistakes. It is unhealthy trait of his and for sure a flaw. Then again Buffy was a jerk to Xander during S1-S6: using him in the s2 opener, telling him to hang back in s3, not defending him in s3 while Cordelia made fun of his home life and future. In s7 their relationship gets better... until she becomes a general.

 

[Veronique]

I just watched the scene of Buffy fighting a super powered Warren, and many of Buffy fighting Glory. Gotta say Buffy's heart just wasn't as much into the fighting of Warren. (Though there are reasons for that.)

He was great. They should have kept him for S7, or introduce him in S3/S4 to help out those seasons.

 

[Myheadsgonenumb]

It is a dismissive action that is mocking Xander as in a look you can’t see me along with teasing Spike. Buffy has always been fairly dismissive of Xander and his abilities.
Who is to say Xander didn’t knock before coming down? I think it’s clear that Spike and Buffy were busy so I doubt they would notice. Also how you be mad at Xander for barging in on Buffy when as you highlight he didn’t know she was there?

I'm not mad at him - though whether or not he knew Buffy was there, it's still Spike's home and he should learn to knock (if you knock to gain entrance and no one says you can come in that doesn't mean you can just walk in - that's not how accessing people's homes works). I just find the idea that in this scene Buffy is 'totally disrespecting Xander' utterly ridiculous.

 

[darkspook]

I'm not mad at him - though whether or not he knew Buffy was there, it's still Spike's home and he should learn to knock (if you knock to gain entrance and no one says you can come in that doesn't mean you can just walk in - that's not how accessing people's homes works). I just find the idea that in this scene Buffy is 'totally disrespecting Xander' utterly ridiculous.

Well it’s more disrespectful from the writers as it’s clear that it’s ‘Xander is dumb let’s mock him’.

Don’t recall Spike knocking too many times at other places mainly running in covered with a blanket smoking from the sun... that’s not how people access homes too! Buffy and co when going to Giles. In TV land people don’t knock it wastes screen time.

 

[Faded90]

Well it’s more disrespectful from the writers as it’s clear that it’s ‘Xander is dumb let’s mock him’.

Don’t recall Spike knocking too many times at other places mainly running in covered with a blanket smoking from the sun... that’s not how people access homes too! Buffy and co when going to Giles. In TV land people don’t knock it wastes screen time.

I don’t think it’s about mocking Xander. Buffy’s invisible period is about her being obnoxious because she feels like there’s no consequences to her behaviour. Yes she’s obnoxious to Xander but she’s like that to EVERYONE in this episode, it’s certainly not something targeted specifically to Xander. She acknowledges she’s been a dick and talks about damage control from her ‘giddy fest’

 

[Veronique]

Weirdly I also don't like Dawn going to visit Spike and admonish him because is that really any of her business? If Xander doesn't get to judge then why does she?

Dawn is a child worried about her sister. She does not shame Buffy, she confronted Spike for making Buffy sad thinking that he was cheating on her. Xander is a young adult screaming and shames people

 

[thetopher]

Dawn is a child worried about her sister. She does not shame Buffy, she confronted Spike for making Buffy sad thinking that he was cheating on her.

It's still none of Dawn's business since Buffy kept it from her in the first place. And why is it okay to shame Spike for simply trying to move on, but bad for telling Buffy she made bad choices?
Also Xander doesn't scream at Buffy. When he finds out about Buffy/Spike he storms off and gets drunk, alone. It's Buffy that comes to see him.

 

[Angel6]

I hate the episode, I dislike Spuffy, the trio were dreadful villains and I didn’t like Dark Willow either.