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Should Angel have told Buffy about their time in I will Remember You?

LemonBanana

Glorious Purpose
Joined
Jul 9, 2020
Messages
378
Location
London
Sineya
Helloooo beloved Buffy fans! Not posted for a while but I spoke to a friend and we were talking about Bangel. They said that Angel should have told Buffy about the time they spent together in the Angel episode ‘I will Remember You’. I on the other hand disagreed, I think that it would just give Buffy false hope of what could have been which would maybe even make her even more distraught, knowing what they lost. So what do you guys think? Do you think Angel should have told Buffy about that one magical day, or kept it a secret. Or perhaps your not sure and just wanna discuss the episode, I mean... am I the only one that cried? Yup, ok felt that coming, I’m a big soppy baby when it comes to Buffy romances 😂 🤣

Also, I have just started S3 of Angel so do forgive me if I’m being a dummy and he does tell her... that kinda mucks up this whole thread really! Let me just hope not! Great to be back and can’t wait to see what you guys think! 😊 💕
 

Ann

Nee chatwuann Bangel
Joined
Jan 5, 2010
Messages
825
Location
Where I live, but really don't want to be.
Helloooo beloved Buffy fans! Not posted for a while but I spoke to a friend and we were talking about Bangel. They said that Angel should have told Buffy about the time they spent together in the Angel episode ‘I will Remember You’. I on the other hand disagreed, I think that it would just give Buffy false hope of what could have been which would maybe even make her even more distraught, knowing what they lost. So what do you guys think? Do you think Angel should have told Buffy about that one magical day, or kept it a secret. Or perhaps your not sure and just wanna discuss the episode, I mean... am I the only one that cried? Yup, ok felt that coming, I’m a big soppy baby when it comes to Buffy romances 😂 🤣

Also, I have just started S3 of Angel so do forgive me if I’m being a dummy and he does tell her... that kinda mucks up this whole thread really! Let me just hope not! Great to be back and can’t wait to see what you guys think! 😊 💕

Angel told Doyle and Cordelia knows because Doyle told her. Angel told Faith. Personally I think Buffy is better off not knowing about all she and Angel did in I Will Remember You. I think it would hurt Buffy to know what she and Angel had that was taken away.
 
LemonBanana
LemonBanana
Yeah, I totally agree, thanks 😊 💕

Priceless

Scooby
Joined
Jan 25, 2016
Messages
9,011
Location
UK
Although Buffy would be hurt by knowing, I think he should tell her. It's a huge thing to have happened in their relationship and to keep it secret just seems wrong to me. I have issues with Angel keeping things from Buffy 'for her own good'.
 
LemonBanana
LemonBanana
Love your post, this is interesting! I too don’t like Angel keeping secrets from Buffy but I also don’t wanna see her get hurt, thanks for this! 😊 💕

FaithLehane16

"Tact is not saying true stuff. I'll pass."
Joined
Aug 30, 2018
Messages
1,364
Age
27
Location
United States
Angel told Doyle and Cordelia knows because Doyle told her. Angel told Faith. Personally I think Buffy is better off not knowing about all she and Angel did in I Will Remember You. I think it would hurt Buffy to know what she and Angel had that was taken away.
I'd like to think that she would be more understanding to this day. Back then, I don't think that she would have understood.
 

GothicBuffy

Slayer
Joined
Feb 18, 2021
Messages
213
Age
18
Location
Boston
Angel should have told her. He has a track record of playing with people's lives and doing what he thinks is best, even if it dramatically affects them, which was completely unfair. If he really wants to have a life with Buffy in the future, he should be honest with her. That's like relationship 101.
Also, what's up with Angel and memory spells? More than once did he meddle with the memories of his loved ones and he never really faced any repercussions.
 

Faded90

Scooby
Joined
Apr 2, 2020
Messages
845
Age
63
Honestly I don’t know how much it would help to be honest or what difference it would make. I think people forget though that we DID see Buffy’s reaction to the whole thing, she understands his decision and gets upset about knowing she’ll forget but she shows no anger towards him. I see a similar kind of situation if she found out

As much as I like Bangel in general there is a weird power imbalance to
Their relationship once Angel leaves that I don’t like though and this is kind of an example of it
 
Joined
Oct 23, 2018
Messages
790
Age
36
Location
England
After she has lost all memory of it? I don't really see the point tbh. It would just cause her pain and carrying it alone is supposed to be his burden. He shouldn't share that burden with her, he promised the oracles he could carry it alone. So that is what he was supposed to do.
And - when? As soon as it's happened? A few weeks later? years later?
It's either going to be painful for her, or make her angry that he took this thing from her, or be completely irrelevant to her. There's no right time to do it, there's no right way to do it and telling her is not going to improve her life or help her in any way. It would just be him, relieving his burden in order to make himself feel better. I think him telling her after he's agreed to it and before she forgets was selfishly motivated on his part - I can't see what he would hope to achieve, for her good, by telling her afterwards. It would be about making himself feel better, and that isn't Buffy's problem (although - this episode is so terrible and beyond pointless that the fact is, beyond a few minutes brooding at the start of 'hero' he never seems to think of, reference or mention this again. Not even when the shanshu comes up and he already knows he's been human recently. At the end of s5 he says it's been so long since he was human he has forgotten what it was like, despite the fact he has actually been human more recently than Harmony - who he is talking to ... so if this secret is a burden for him to bear, it doesn't appear to be a particularly heavy one.)

It wasn't OK for him to tell Doyle, though - or for Doyle to tell Cordy. It is not fair on Buffy that Cordelia knows something about the bangel relationship that she does not. And if he tells Faith about it (I assume in the comics - because he doesn't in the show) then that's just as bad, possibly even worse considering a) the history between the 2 slayers and b) the fact his grief was no longer raw, when it is at least more understandable that he would feel the need to unburden himself.

Telling Buffy serves no purpose, but telling other people a fragment of Buffy's history that she has no access to and no knowledge of is completely out of line.
 

thetopher

Member of the Church Of Faith
Joined
Dec 23, 2013
Messages
10,710
Location
The Moot, England
Sineya
He should only tell her if they were ever again in a relationship, which they never were.
They were over from 'I Will Remember You' onward, earlier from Buffy's pov, so why should she care?
 
Myheadsgonenumb
Myheadsgonenumb
I suppose that would be the correct time to tell her, yes - though the revelation might piss her off so much that the relationship would be finished before it began.

GothicBuffy

Slayer
Joined
Feb 18, 2021
Messages
213
Age
18
Location
Boston
@Faded90 I agree with the power imbalance issue... Angel's own struggle with power and how to wield it also became huge part of the show but we see it manifest way earlier in his interactions with Buffy.
I think once he moved to LA he became more isolated which led to a loss of perspective when it came to accountability for his actions.
 
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