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Question Should Anya have forgiven Xander in S7 and started dating him again?

BuffyLover88

Townie
Joined
May 24, 2019
Messages
18
I keep going back and forth. What he did is terrible and pushed her into making the mistake of becoming a vengeance demon again (note that I believe that Anya was responsible for her decision of becoming a demon again, but I also believe that she repented and became human again by quasi-choice).

In S7, they both seem to be in a better place, they made mistakes that they tried to correct (Xander wanted to continue the relationship after Hell’s Bell and Anya was willing to sacrifice herself in Selfless), they are just friends (with some resentment feelings still around, but nothing major), they even have break-up sex a couple of times and they still love each other.

Maybe it doesn’t make sense to think too much about this because she dies, but I’d like to know your opinions. I often change my mind when thinking about it.
 

DeadlyDuo

Scooby
Joined
Jul 29, 2016
Messages
7,159
Age
29
I think Season 7 would've been too early for Anya to truly forgive Xander for jilting her at the altar. They could perhaps start working through their issues but it would've taken time to rebuild that trust that Xander broke. If an apocalypse wasn't bearing down on them all, then I don't think they would've reached the stage that they did in such a short amount of time.
 

thetopher

Member of the Church Of Faith
Joined
Dec 23, 2013
Messages
10,075
Location
The Moot, England
Sineya
Anya had forgiven Xander by Storyteller when she gave that very nice private speech to him that Andrew recorded then kept of mouthing/playing word for word. Xander had also clearly forgiven Anya a long time before.
But I don't think they would ever reconcile any quicker than we saw given that Xander had been making steps to try and move on from Anya all season and the apocalypse was garnering all the attention.

Xander/Anya is a mirror of Buffy/Spike' relationship, its not about reconciling for some future (they both die in battle), its about repairing their past and recognizing the hurt they caused each other/finding out what they meant. It's telling that in the finale Buffy and Xander don't grieve, they're proud.

I think Xander and Anya is far more successful at doing this even if they get a fifth of the screen time.
 

r2dh2

Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain
Joined
Apr 12, 2019
Messages
269
Anya had forgiven Xander by Storyteller when she gave that very nice private speech to him that Andrew recorded then kept of mouthing/playing word for word. Xander had also clearly forgiven Anya a long time before.
But I don't think they would ever reconcile any quicker than we saw given that Xander had been making steps to try and move on from Anya all season and the apocalypse was garnering all the attention.

Xander/Anya is a mirror of Buffy/Spike' relationship, its not about reconciling for some future (they both die in battle), its about repairing their past and recognizing the hurt they caused each other/finding out what they meant. It's telling that in the finale Buffy and Xander don't grieve, they're proud.

I think Xander and Anya is far more successful at doing this even if they get a fifth of the screen time.
I'm inclined to agree with you, but there are two things that bother me from their scenes in Storyteller, that's why I felt that @DeadlyDuo had a better point regarding their need for more time to work out their issues:

ANYA. And here's where we hop on the merry-go-round of rotating knives. I blame you, and you blame me, and we both end up all cut to shreds. Please just tell— Do you still love me?
XANDER. Yes. I still love you. I always will. I just don't know if that means anything for us anymore.
ANYA. Well, I love you too. I don't know if that means anything either.

After they have sex:
XANDER. Yeah, I knew we'd always do that again.
ANYA. Yeah, one more time anyway.
XANDER. Is that what that was? One more time?
ANYA. Do you think there should be more?
XANDER. I don't know. It was nice. It felt, um—it felt like a one more time.
ANYA. I think maybe we're really over. Which is—it's good, right? I mean, now we can move on.

What's your take on these conversations? Are they a smokescreen because they're not ready to say out loud that they'd like to get back together?
 
Giovanna
Giovanna
I think this shows that their relationship is truly over. They might still have feelings but it's time for them to move on.

thetopher

Member of the Church Of Faith
Joined
Dec 23, 2013
Messages
10,075
Location
The Moot, England
Sineya
What's your take on these conversations? Are they a smokescreen because they're not ready to say out loud that they'd like to get back together?
I tend to think that it means love does not solve anything. Sometimes love isn't enough. That you can love somebody and yet not see a future with them because of all the past wrongs you did to each other.
It's one of the realizations people have to come to when they grow up.

Basically in S7 there is nothing keeping Xander and Anya from being together except the events in the past...that mean that they don't want to be together, or perhaps just feel that they can't be, not in a real or passionate or fulfilling way.
But I actually think its a bit more Xander's side of things, than Anya's. Anya still gets jealous when Xander tries to date somebody else, Xander- from what I remember- no longer really cares if Anya wants to be with somebody else.

Anya came into Xander's life specifically to hurt him, she hated him but failed to harm him, then fell for him, ended up clinging to him/building her life around him, until he became her everything. That reminds me of Spike to a degree.

As for Xander, he still cares for Anya, will fight for her even if it means going against his friends to do it, and tries to hard to save her in Selfless even when she wants to be put out of her misery. So there's a Xander/Buffy parallel right there. What with 'Selfless/Never Leave Me'.

Hell, there's even a 'You left me at the alter and I became this!/'I got a soul for you' comparison; Buffy and Xander feel responsible for what their 'significant other' has become because of their past action.

So yeah, definite paralless to Buffy/Xander and Spike/Anya.

@r2dh2 : I guess I could've been clearer. I don't think they're in denial about their feelings during the above conversations. They've just come to the realization that the feel what they feel and yet have no urge to get back together.
I think it was the right call. You can't force a thing to happen. You either feel it or you don't.
 
r2dh2
r2dh2
I agree with what you say, but my question was related to the original point of the thread: should they have gotten back together or not?

Ceadsearc03

Potential
Joined
Apr 10, 2019
Messages
112
I think it was too soon, but I also think it was fast for Xander to get over the part where she chose to be a vengeance demon and murder people again.

Honestly, I felt like they passed the point of no return, but at the same time love isn’t logical and I feel like love on the Hellmouth doesn’t/can’t follow traditional timeframes.
 

sosa lola

Scooby
Joined
Nov 26, 2007
Messages
4,802
Age
35
I feel that by Storyteller, Anya has forgiven Xander but did not want to get back together with him. He did, however, become her satefy net and her go-to person when things get rough (like when they slept together in Touched) but both seemed to move on from each other romantically.
 
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