Lol A 27/28 yr old Setting eyes on a girl at 15/kissing her when she's 16 and having sex with her when she's 17 does have a real world comparison, its called grooming. It's only because the actress was older than the character is it not called out more.LOL Spuffy was far from realistic. If Bangel was a fairytale then Spuffy was a fantasy. Neither felt like a real life adult relationship to me.
It's not just that Buffy is forced into being older than she would otherwise by the slayer role and Angel comes from a time when a girl of Buffy's age would be meeting men with a view to being married off to one. When you were considered to be getting on and in danger of being an old maid if you weren't married in your twenties. That's not a scenario which really has a modern real world equivalent that isn't creepy.Lol A 27/28 yr old Setting eyes on a girl at 15/kissing her when she's 16 and having sex with her when she's 17 does have a real world comparison, its called grooming. It's only because the actress was older than the character is it not called out more.
In reality both relationships were fantasies in a fantasy show. It's not like we had single mother Buffy, struggling because Spike is late on child support 🤷♂️
That's the thing for the Crossovers, even way back in Pangs in S4 it always felt like the regressed Angel to me.I think that it probably depends on which Bangel, and which Spuffy relationship you're talking about. Season 1 through 3 Bangel was classic Harlequin Romance, pure and simple, with a little "Lolita" tossed in for spice. Something like that is hard to maintain over a long term separation, which is what happened once Angel got his spinoff. We don't have much of Season 4 through Season 6 Bangel to use as a reference, other than a couple of crossovers.
What's ironic is that for both Angel and Spike, Joss wasn't really into either relationship for Buffy. Whereas for Riley he seemed like he was.As someone who was addicted to reading A LOT of Mills & Boon or Harlequin books, I never once came across one that had the male love interest turn evil after sleeping with the heroine and then try to kill her or any of her family and friends?! Maybe up to Innocence, I think there could be some justification for THOSE thoughts but after that and going into series 3, I don't believe it can be only viewed as just that.
Still I have read plenty of Danielle Steele and those types of romantic stories where the man and woman who initially hated each other, argue a lot and faught, eventually fell into bed and had lots of sex where they develop feelings for one another. Boy, what DOES that remind me of...
I will agree that the most realistic relationship that Buffy had would go to the one she had with a human. Riley and her may have issues that arose in their relationship but it was no worse than anything problems she had when she was with Angel or Spike.
And Buffy needed to have this relationship no matter the outcome. After everything that happened with Angel, she had to have a relationship that could be as normal as possible with the life she lead. And Riley offered as close to that even with the knowledge of who he turn out to be.
It's 50 Shades. Spuffy is literally 50 Shades with the vampire/slayer thing filed off. And nobody thinks 50 shades is realistic, its a sex-fantasy for middle-aged moms.Still I have read plenty of Danielle Steele and those types of romantic stories where the man and woman who initially hated each other, argue a lot and faught, eventually fell into bed and had lots of sex where they develop feelings for one another. Boy, what DOES that remind me of...
When Angel comes back in season 3, he's weak & Buffy is caring for him & bringing him food. Buffy could cry to Angel and be vulnerable with him and have him understand her feelings. As opposed to Spike who she tried to keep emotional distance from, and emotional tears her down by encouraging all her worst traits, and telling her those things are all there is to her, and by not accepting it, she's lying.Adding to this. It's a HUGE pet-peeve that one of the first arguments against Bangel is "That was HS puppy love. and Spuffy was real"
Ok. So I guess it's HS puppy love when their relationship had struggles such as losing each other, almost dying for each other. Buffy nursing Angel back to health when he returned from Hell. Talking about her future with him. Her having to talk him down from killing himself. etc.
Most HS puppy loves don't involve half the things they had to get through. As individuals or a couple. Even in real life, many HS sweethearts have married. Meanwhile you have grown adults in their 0's who bounce from relationship to relationship and don't know anymore of what they want than some High School kids.
Using a classic example. Sitcoms.Cliff & Claire were a couple since HS. They were married throughout the show with 5 kids. But I guess because it started in HS, their relationship doesn't count? After all, they couldn't possibly have loved each other in HSS?
Another Roseanne x Dan Connor. Dan was the first & only man Roseanne was ever with. She lost her virginity to him on their second date. When he had his heart-attack, she's very vulnerable and says the heartbreaking words that she's worried to lose than man she'd been with since she was 15. I guess their relationship isn't true. Again teens can't know what they want & love someone/
My own parents. are an example. My mother has known my father all her life & has been with him since she was a teen in the 80's. They got ,married not long after she turned 18. Not to say their marriage hasn't had it's share of drama. lol But that's every relationship. However, note that I said DRAMA, not ABUSE & TOXICITY. There's a difference between those things.
Bangel was the former. Yes the relationship started when Buffy was young, but that doesn't mean they weren't experiencing the real thing. Buffy was 21 in season 7, and she still refers to her feelings for Angel as love. We don't have 21 year old Buffy saying anything like "Oh well Angel was only a crush" or "I thought I loved him but I was too young to know better." No. Buffy after having more life & relationship experience, losing her mother, trying to raise a child & support a house, still says she loved Angel more than she will anything.
And if we're gonna pick on age, then even season 7 Buffy doesn't know any better. She outright says she's cookie dough that hasn't fully baked. She says the last episode she's not finished growing yet. And that includes her relationship with Spike. He got cookie dough as well, by Buffy'sown words. Plus 21 is still college aged. How many college students have fully matured, when they're not out drinking, partying, and going through the phase of doing all their stupid stuff.
Bringing the comics into it it, Buffy is probably in her mid-late twenties in those and possibly 30 at the end. She STILL retains feelings for Angel. She had a fantasy about being chained naked to HIM and Spike. She was slightly jealous when Dawn was hugging him & talking about her crush. Puppy HS crush wouldn't be lasting until someone is damn near 30. lol
And, Buffy & Spike could be together whenever they wanted with NO limits. And the mutually chose to split up because they don't work without crisis. THAT seems more like teen love. Without the passion & danger, there's not much left. And Buffy even said that in season 6. Spike says great love is wild, passionate, and dangerous. It burns & consumes. Then Buffy tells him it burns & consumes until nothing is left and that love isn't lasting. And we see it in season 12 when they decided to split due to things being too peaceful. That sounds exactly like immature "love" that runs on passion or how worked up you can get each other -good or bad. It's about what you can feel in pleasure rather than feeling for someone else.
Meanwhile Buffy & Angel never made the choice to not be together. They just accepted that it was already decided that they couldn't be. They tried repeatedly being together only for something to stand in the way, and when they were together, there were tons of limits. Like sex. How many people going through just puppy love are gonna try to make a relationship work that they can't have sex in? Most horny teens won't be down for that. it takes love to entertain the thought of trying to be together without every getting to have sex Even adults don't want sexless relationships & won't stay in them. They'll either separate, agree for the able partner to have other lovers, or cheat.
I think the narrative needs to be dropped that Bangel was all about puppy-love & non-serious HS romance. Nowhere was their relationship treated as such in canon.
I'll re-phase. Some people might think its realistic as a love-story, but many in the BDSM community hate it because of how it inaccurately it depicts real-life dom/sub relationships.Sure it is.
As a dirty-minded male I resent that.You can argue both as fantasy.
Bangel is more the softcore female fantasy.
Spufffy is the hardcore dirtier male fantasy.
Buffy was more the Dom in that relationship. She's in control and stops and starts it when she wantsBut their relationship is never shown as dom/sub, in any way. Just because a couple likes to use handcuffs in bed, doesn't mean that they prescribe to the BDSM lifestyle, so there would be nothing for anyone to be offended by. It doesn't represent BDSM whatsoever.