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Who Did Buffy Love More?

DayDreamer27

Potential
Joined
Feb 11, 2018
Messages
206
May be opening Pandora's box. But we have a thread on who loved her more -Angel or Spike.

But what about Buffy's feelings? Who did she love more -Spike or Angel? You can stick with just the show. Or go into the comicverse. Whedon or actor(s) comments, etc. Which guy, and why do you think that?
 

RomanticSoul

Frell Me
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
2,335
Location
Germany
Herself. Misery. Hopelessness.

I think she loved these 3 more than she ever loved another 'person', whether boyfriend, sister or f*** buddy. I mean the latter 2 she went after with an abandon beyond anything she ever did regarding a guy.
 

TriBel

Scooby
Joined
Jun 25, 2017
Messages
2,675
Location
Manchester
Joyce.

Interventions:
BUFFY: Just ... think about it. (gets up, paces) I was never there for Riley, not like I was for Angel. I was terrible to Dawn.
GILES: At a time like this-
BUFFY: No.
GILES: You're bound to feel emotionally numb.
BUFFY: Before that. Riley left because I was shut down. He's gone. And now my mom is gone ... and I loved her more than anything ... and ... I don't know if she knew.
 

Mrs Gordo

Bangel extremist...
Joined
Jul 11, 2017
Messages
4,043
Location
Texas
Black Thorn
Joyce.

Interventions:
BUFFY: Just ... think about it. (gets up, paces) I was never there for Riley, not like I was for Angel. I was terrible to Dawn.
GILES: At a time like this-
BUFFY: No.
GILES: You're bound to feel emotionally numb.
BUFFY: Before that. Riley left because I was shut down. He's gone. And now my mom is gone ... and I loved her more than anything ... and ... I don't know if she knew.
I could be terribly wrong. But I thought it was implicit that the OP was about romantic love. (Thus the Spike and Angel distinction). Otherwise, of course, Dawn and Joyce would fit the bill as well.

Buffy’s statement in Selfless provides the strongest evidence to her feelings on who she loved the most as a romantic partner as Xander is specifically talking about his romantic relationship with Anya. And Buffy seems to be responding to his accusations in that context.
 

Cheese Slices

A Bidet of Evil
Joined
Dec 31, 2011
Messages
737
Location
France
Again, I think it weird that people think that love can be quantified. You either love someone or you don't ; you don't love them a little.
So my serious answer is she loved them both, but in a different way, because she has evolved as a person between season 3 and season 6-7. Having her acting the same way with Spike as she was with Angel (a teenager experiencing her first love) would have been terrible characterization and just plain character regression. Doesn't mean she didn't love Spike, she just did as older, adult Buffy.
 

EarthLogic

Scooby
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Sep 1, 2017
Messages
1,350
Location
London, UK
Black Thorn
You either love someone or you don't ; you don't love them a little.
"I love you, but only a tiny bit....just a smidge, really." ;)

I agree, the idea that love can be quantified or measured is strange - and can be a dangerous fallacy. Lear found that out the hard way. I think you can love people in different ways and with different depth of feeling/intensity, but 'more' or 'less' doesn't really work.
 

thetopher

Member of the Church Of Faith
Joined
Dec 23, 2013
Messages
10,316
Location
The Moot, England
Sineya
Angel.

I think its valid to question if Buffy was ever 'in love' with Spike (at least on the show). And if we bring up Buffy loving Spike then we should bring up her loving Riley at the bare minimum. That's a more apt comparison; did Buffy love Spike or Riley more. hmn, its a stumper.
Angel's a whole other league of feeling for Buffy I feel, for a variety of reasons.

If we compare Riley and Spike we can say that Buffy needed both of them at a certain points in her life, she needed the normal, sweet, not-crazy relationship at one point and she needed the pain/passion/relaese at the other but her love for either of them is just less quantifiable,
With Angel it always seemed a certainty year after year, even after he left Sunnydale.
 

DeadlyDuo

Scooby
Joined
Jul 29, 2016
Messages
9,011
Age
30
Romance wise, It would be Angel without a question.

Between family and romance, Buffy would always choose her family.
 
FaithLehane16
FaithLehane16
I chose romance over family for good reasons. My family were being unfair towards me, and I felt like I could trust my bf more.

katmobile

Scooby
Joined
Jun 17, 2018
Messages
1,476
Age
49
I could be terribly wrong. But I thought it was implicit that the OP was about romantic love. (Thus the Spike and Angel distinction). Otherwise, of course, Dawn and Joyce would fit the bill as well.

Buffy’s statement in Selfless provides the strongest evidence to her feelings on who she loved the most as a romantic partner as Xander is specifically talking about his romantic relationship with Anya. And Buffy seems to be responding to his accusations in that context.
Ok to nitpick she used the past tense in Selfless loved, would have and I think it's more a commentary and when it happened Angel was her first love and until his heartbreaking turn it was nothing but a positive as the years go by you have more baggage and so do your fellow travellers it's just how it is.

This isn't a question I think deserves an answer because it plays into the OTP myth I don't believe you love different people, in different ways at different times and one of the reason I like the comic ending is it acknowledges the importance of everyone to her but doesn't have a one.

As for non romance that's easy it's Dawn she died and would have let the world burn to save her - no one else got that neither Angel or Spike.
 

white avenger

white avenger
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rome, georgia
As I have always contended, I think that, in order to answer that question, you need to qualify just which Buffy we are talking about. High school Buffy was certainly in love with Angel, but how many people, really, fall in love with one person as an adolescent and never move on over years? In my personal experience, I can count them on the thumbs of one hand. I think that Angel will always have a special place in her heart for Angel, but I also don't think that it was ant accident in Season 7, when she talked about her love for him in the past tense. People move on, it's in their nature, and when you add in the reality of Angel's curse and the fairly consistent fact that, whenever Buffy and Angel spend any appreciable time together, bad things, even worse than what can be considered the norm in their existence.

Likewise, I think that adult Buffy will always have at least an equal, but different, place in her heart for Spike, the man, hero, and Champion who never would have existed if not for their shared feelings. The evolution of their relationship throughout almost the entire series is, for me, at least, one of the real highlights of the Buffyverse. It's not an exaggeration, in my opinion, to say that Spuffy is an epic relationship.

But future Buffy? The one who will, hopefully, some day be able to lay aside her stake and crossbow and settle down to a much deserved normal life with a husband and children, will choose neither Angel nor Spike. She's had her Lancelot and her Galahad, but when it comes time for the warrior princess to become a wife and mother, it will be with some normal, down to earth guy who can actually make her forget about all the things that go bump in the night. And he won't be around until his time comes.
 
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