Who was Buffy's best boyfriend?

[thetopher]

Back to topic Angel and Spike are not human they are demons or with souls a cross between a demon and dead human, they cannot be classed as human hence as in not a boyfriends, so only Riley qualifies

Isn't this like saying that a dog can't be considered part of a family because it isn't 'people'? Poor doggos.

That's just seems like prejudice. Because if you rule out soul-having Angel then you're basically ruling out any soul-having demon-style character like Lorne, Connor, Clem or Grue. All of whom have humanity and can be considered forces for good.

And what about Oz? Is a werewolf considered human? Does Oz become less human after 'New Moon Rising' when his wolf-ness isn't tied to the lunar cycle?

 

[ILLYRIAN]

As far as I'm concerned that is an odd question the three that were listed were not her boyfriends they were her lovers. Boyfriends by description are friends that were/are boys, you know them are males such as Giles or Xander.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Very off topic.

NileQT87,
according to your comment in my post do you regard yourself as an English speaker because I thought that the majority of Americans were proud to be American and as such wouldn't an American want to speak American, not English. Writing or speaking has variations from English to American.
Did you imply that I used a misunderstanding of what a boyfriend/ girlfriend is, what I used is my belief of which I am allowed to have.
My dictionaries relate to a boyfriend as a woman's usual male companion and that a girlfriend is a girl who is a friend. She does not have a romantic inclination of that boy.
If you want to use your misinterpretation of what the word means, go for it.

PS Having been born in Coventry, England in 1955 my native tongue is English, what is yours?

 

[famicommander]

None of the three were even remotely acceptable.
Riley - toxic manbaby who cheated on her with a vampire hooker and got insecure when she didn't "need him" enough while trying to deal with her mother's death
Spike - spends most of the series as a being of pure evil; tried to murder her and her friends multiple times; tried to rape her
Angel - stalks her, commits statutory rape against her, turns psychotic for a bit and murders some of her pals, dumps her for being too immature, then starts courting her high school classmate

Post-soul Spike is at least not intentionally dangerous or evil, but he still ends up brainwashed into mass murder.

Buffy is far from perfect but nobody deserves a boyfriend as crappy as those three.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

You're forgetting Pike and Scott.

Also, if we're talking about the series, Spike was never technically her boyfriend. However, if we're referencing the series continuation in the comics, he absolutely was.

Regardless, obviously I voted for Spike, whom I believe to be her soulmate.

 

[janas]

I chose Angel because I'm pretty sure that's what Buffy would have chosen. On more than one occasion Buffy has said that in this life she will never love anyone as much as she loved Angel. No one will ever compare with Angel

 

[janas]

@ILLYRIAN, @ NileQT87
I don't know if I can help you clarify the linguistic discrepancies by inserting a third language. Italian. We in Italy distinguish between having a boyfriend and having a fiancé. Having a boyfriend is the first phase of the love relationship, the couple learns to know each other, shares with friends, goes to dance, to the cinema ... in short, they have a romantic life as a couple and their friends know about it, but they are not involved their respective family members. When the couple understands that their love relationship is an important thing, here comes the time to get to know their respective families, complete with official lunches, rings, where the parents of both "symbolically" consent to their union. This is the stage where the couple got fiancé, which is the prelude to marriage.

Post automatically merged: May 14, 2022

@NileQT87 exactly what I meant. I completely agree

 

[AstridDante]

I chose Angel because I'm pretty sure that's what Buffy would have chosen. On more than one occasion Buffy has said that in this life she will never love anyone as much as she loved Angel. No one will ever compare with Angel

That’s not what she said though she spoke past tense. She said she HAD never loved anyone as much as Angel. She doesn’t know what her future holds at that point. It’s semantics but not it’s important. She loved Angel greatly, it was an all consuming first love. I think she loved Riley also and I think she was starting to fall in love with Spike towards the end of the show’s run.

 

[Antho]

She said she HAD never loved anyone as much as Angel

Just a small correction, she precisely said : I loved him more than I will love anything in this life ! A little different of what you said 😀.

 

[janas]

That’s not what she said though she spoke past tense. She said she HAD never loved anyone as much as Angel. She doesn’t know what her future holds at that point. It’s semantics but not it’s important. She loved Angel greatly, it was an all consuming first love. I think she loved Riley also and I think she was starting to fall in love with Spike towards the end of the show’s run.

She also talked about a possible future in which she might think she might have a lasting relationship, and since she was talking about it with Angel, presumably she was seeing Angel in that future. She on the other hand she was pretty sure that she with Spike she wouldn't last because she didn't see any future with him.

 

[AstridDante]

Just a small correction, she precisely said : I loved him more than I will love anything in this life ! A little different of what you said 😀.

My point still stands. She said loved past tense. I honestly don’t think anyone loves the same way twice and first loves can be particularly intense. I would argue she loves Dawn more than any of her romantic interests

Post automatically merged: May 14, 2022

She also talked about a possible future in which she might think she might have a lasting relationship, and since she was talking about it with Angel, presumably she was seeing Angel in that future. She on the other hand she was pretty sure that she with Spike she wouldn't last because she didn't see any future with him.

This is true. She hadn’t completely closed the door on Angel but despite not seeing grand children in the future, Spike was still in her heart. They didn’t get enough time to see what it might become on the show. I suppose if you include comics they had a healthy relationship and it was left open ended after they parted ways

 

[janas]

They didn’t get enough time to see what it might become on the show.

This is not entirely true. Spike could have gone back to Buffy instead of staying with Angel, but as he himself told Harmony, he didn't want to come back so as not to ruin his great hero exit and preferred to make himself think dead by tricking the woman he says he loves. Nothing new, it's the same old Spike cliché, extremely selfish and everything always revolves around him, others don't matter. in this case "the others" is Buffy not knowing that he is alive.

As for the comics, they are a confirmation of what I have already said. Spuffy has no future. I'm afraid we have entered the OT zone.
The thread asked a question and I gave my answer. Angel

 

[Antho]

I would argue she loves Dawn more than any of her romantic interests

There is different kind of love. The love I have for my family ( parents/Brother/Sisters) is different of the love I do have for my children for example or the person I’m in love with. That is simply not the same love.

 

[Faded90]

I mean bar is absolutely on the floor here but I’ll go for Angel every time. Angel is the only boyfriend she had where they had mutual communication that didn’t rely on projection - infact I’d say Buffy/Angel have easily the best communication of any pairing in the Buffyverse. I think Buffy felt more comfortable opening up to Angel than she did any other boyfriend and considering how closed off Buffy is in general the fact Angel always made her comfortable to be able to do this makes me give him the point here.

If anything the comics (which I don’t see as canon anyway) prove why Spuffy will always be terrible for Buffy. It still doesn’t leave her fulfilled or happy because ultimately without apocolypses or dark corners they need to retreat into what is really between them? What does Buffy reall get out of it? It’s a relationship Buffy is put in the position of having to feed herself to him or he’ll turn into a blood raged animal - no amount of comic artists showing them holding hands while he weakens her will make this cute or ok. It’s absolutely not. It’s still a relationship where Buffy has to put herself on the back burner and make some messed up choices. She deserves way better than that

So yeah Angel easily for me

 

[Ethan Reigns]

I think the posts above have established that no one out of the three would be particularly good matches for Buffy. And we see nothing of the real world go to work / pay bills / decide mutually about what we want to spend money considerations on that come with a relationship.

Let's turn the question around. What kind of guy could put up with Buffy for any length of time? Holden Webster had her pegged as having a superiority complex and an inferiority complex about it. Most people have remarked on her being closed off to an extent that makes any relationship difficult. I think Buffy should only marry Dr. Phil. He is the right height and he is forthright about what he knows. I don't like the guy because he presents Psych 101 as his own special brand of enlightenment, but someone who hooks up with Buffy had better know his psychology. And he had better be motivated enough to put up with her foibles.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Some are still going on about the lovers thing when the question was about Buffy's boyfriends. I'm guessing that a boy ceases to be a boy at a certain age when he becomes a man. If so I'd hazard a guess that a 250(?) year old vampire (Angel) is no longer a boy, nor is a 120(?) year old vampire (Spike) that leaves Riley. Which leaves me with the words Oh dear!

 

[Plasma]

I think Buffy should only marry Dr. Phil. He is the right height and he is forthright about what he knows. I don't like the guy because he presents Psych 101 as his own special brand of enlightenment, but someone who hooks up with Buffy had better know his psychology.

Now, would the ship name be Puffy or Bil…. 🤔 If his former guests’ testimonials are anything to go off of, Buffy would literally have more problems if she hooked up with Dr. Phil.

This is not entirely true. Spike could have gone back to Buffy instead of staying with Angel, but as he himself told Harmony, he didn't want to come back so as not to ruin his great hero exit and preferred to make himself think dead by tricking the woman he says he loves. Nothing new, it's the same old Spike cliché, extremely selfish and everything always revolves around him, others don't matter. in this case "the others" is Buffy not knowing that he is alive.

That last season of Angel really backpedaled his character work and complicated this whole thing, really. Who he is in S5 of AtS is not the man we got at the end of Buffy at all, but that’s a story for another day.

 

[Stake fodder]

I think Buffy should only marry Dr. Phil. He is the right height and he is forthright about what he knows. I don't like the guy because he presents Psych 101 as his own special brand of enlightenment, but someone who hooks up with Buffy had better know his psychology. And he had better be motivated enough to put up with her foibles.

Dr. Phil?? Do you hate Buffy that much? She's never had to stake a boyfriend before, but I think Phil would be pushing it, vampire or no!

Some are still going on about the lovers thing when the question was about Buffy's boyfriends. I'm guessing that a boy ceases to be a boy at a certain age when he becomes a man. If so I'd hazard a guess that a 250(?) year old vampire (Angel) is no longer a boy, nor is a 120(?) year old vampire (Spike) that leaves Riley. Which leaves me with the words Oh dear!

This is the age-old problem of English not having a good word for a romantic relationship! "Boy/girlfriend" sounds too juvenile. "Lover" sounds like someone you're cheating on your boy/girlfriend with. "Partner" leaves people wondering if it's a romantic or business relationship. "Significant other" is too long. I think this is why in the US, at least, it is now common to refer to one's partner in a committed romantic relationship as "fiancé/fiancée" even if there is no plan to marry. (And even though it is hard to type on an English keyboard, because we don't have accent marks.😂) You'd think a language as descriptive as ours could do better!

 

[Plasma]

This is the age-old problem of English not having a good word for a romantic relationship! "Boy/girlfriend" sounds too juvenile. "Lover" sounds like someone you're cheating on your boy/girlfriend with. "Partner" leaves people wondering if it's a romantic or business relationship. "Significant other" is too long. I think this is why in the US, at least, it is now common to refer to one's partner in a committed romantic relationship as "fiancé/fiancée" even if there is no plan to marry. (And even though it is hard to type on an English keyboard, because we don't have accent marks.😂) You'd think a language as descriptive as ours could do better!

Interesting point, and very true. The terminology for relationships in the United States is pretty rough, since it either sounds too childish or too weird. I blame society for imbuing words like “lover” with a sexual connotation over the years. You’re better off making up your own terminology for your relationships.

Of course, you could always be cool and join the dark and chaotic side that chooses to be single, but I wouldn’t put that sort of peer pressure to join the cool stress-free kids’ club on anyone. Not at all.

 

[Antho]

Why not just say Man/Woman.
« This is my Man. She is my woman ». It makes understand that there is a love relationship.. sounds good for me.