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Question Why did Buffy try to keep Spike's lighter?

Dora

Scooby
Joined
Apr 1, 2016
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999
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53
Cutting your hair isn't an assault metaphor or not just. People who slept with the enemy in wartime were often forced to cut their hair and in real life a lot of women cut their hair after the end a realationship it's a statement of making a new start. In Buffy's case it can function as both a shame and a severence with a past that makes her feel ashamed. I know your reading is abuse but to me it's more a drug or especially accurate a self harm metaphor. Buffy uses Spike (and although he's certainly not blameless she does despite knowing how he feels) for pretty much the same reasons people suffering from depression (like she is) self harm just so she can feel something. We all read things differently but yours isn't other people's or the author's intent no matter what you think and feel and how obvious it is to you.
Of course you are right Buffy was so in love with Spike she spent a previous evening grasping a cross and her bed surrounded by garlic and yes telling someone no and trying to stop that someone sexaully assaulting you... is of course a form of self abuse , just like cutting your hair hoping your Stalker would find you less attractive
Im sticking with my first assumption , crap writing, just like the demon eggs were used to break up Buffy and Spike the lighter was used to as an excuse to show how easily Spike could manipulate a mentally ill Buffy which carried on throughout S6 until the attempt rape , when Buffy was mentally strong enough to stop him
 

DeadlyDuo

Scooby
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6,898
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29
I don't think Buffy actually had time to give the lighter back. She found it when they were getting rid of all the magic stuff so willow wouldn't be "tempted", Dawn and Willow were in the vicinity then Spike turned up. Buffy was trying to act hostile towards him because Willow was there (perhaps overcompensating to try and avoid suspicion) then Xander turned up then social worker turned up. As soon as Spike and Buffy were alone, he found the lighter.

Buffy does say something interesting, she says it in regards to Willow but it clearly applies to herself "Any reminder of, of what it is that she's trying to stay away from, you know, could cause her to ... give in to temptation."

Spike is Buffy's addiction and she knows it's not good for either of them but she can't stay away. Buffy is not some poor little innocent victim against big bad Spike, she has agency in Spuffy. Gone clearly demonstrates this. The moment she's invisible, Buffy goes to Spike to have sex with him. The fact that she's feeling Spike up when Xander is stood RIGHT THERE because SHE can't be seen shows that her conflict over sleeping with Spike seems to come from her fear of being judged negatively by the scoobies (and given Xander's reaction to Anya sleeping with Spike, that fear was well founded). She can't be seen therefore she can't be judged.
 

white avenger

white avenger
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I’m not saying you have to agree, I quite like the scene (but hate the haircut) myself, but this just belittles Buffy’s state of despair and depression.
Please note the final sentence in my post. I was proposing a couple of unlikely reasons, then, basically rejecting them and agreeing with you.
 

katmobile

Scooby
Joined
Jun 17, 2018
Messages
704
Age
47
Of course you are right Buffy was so in love with Spike she spent a previous evening grasping a cross and her bed surrounded by garlic and yes telling someone no and trying to stop that someone sexaully assaulting you... is of course a form of self abuse , just like cutting your hair hoping your Stalker would find you less attractive
Im sticking with my first assumption , crap writing, just like the demon eggs were used to break up Buffy and Spike the lighter was used to as an excuse to show how easily Spike could manipulate a mentally ill Buffy which carried on throughout S6 until the attempt rape , when Buffy was mentally strong enough to stop him
Dora that's a false dichotomy logical fallacy - people are complex so are their emotions and Buffy's a mess at that time - we agree on that one at least. I know you see things a certain way I know why as well I can but respect does go both way and things aren't as self evident as you believe them to be.
 

katmobile

Scooby
Joined
Jun 17, 2018
Messages
704
Age
47
This sentence wasn't necessary - no need to belittle other people even if you disagree. You made your point just fine without making it personal with this.
Ok I was geuninely trying not to be rude or belittling but I know that person has a very particular view and why they do. To me even if they hadn't told me it was obvious and I just find it frustrating. I wasn't aware that saying someone is only able to see one interpretation is being insulting. I'm not being rude or sarcastic I just don't see it. We all have biases but it's the point of fandom to see things from another perspective rather than thump our own tub?
 

katmobile

Scooby
Joined
Jun 17, 2018
Messages
704
Age
47
I don't think Buffy actually had time to give the lighter back. She found it when they were getting rid of all the magic stuff so willow wouldn't be "tempted", Dawn and Willow were in the vicinity then Spike turned up. Buffy was trying to act hostile towards him because Willow was there (perhaps overcompensating to try and avoid suspicion) then Xander turned up then social worker turned up. As soon as Spike and Buffy were alone, he found the lighter.

Buffy does say something interesting, she says it in regards to Willow but it clearly applies to herself "Any reminder of, of what it is that she's trying to stay away from, you know, could cause her to ... give in to temptation."

Spike is Buffy's addiction and she knows it's not good for either of them but she can't stay away. Buffy is not some poor little innocent victim against big bad Spike, she has agency in Spuffy. Gone clearly demonstrates this. The moment she's invisible, Buffy goes to Spike to have sex with him. The fact that she's feeling Spike up when Xander is stood RIGHT THERE because SHE can't be seen shows that her conflict over sleeping with Spike seems to come from her fear of being judged negatively by the scoobies (and given Xander's reaction to Anya sleeping with Spike, that fear was well founded). She can't be seen therefore she can't be judged.
I think it's not just a fear of being judged is - her not being able to see herself works on the same physcholigical level as a vampire not being able to see their own reflection - she doesn't have to look at herself and so isn't accountable to herself I think it's why Spike sees through it.
 

Buffy Summers

Yataro
Staff member
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Sineya
We all have biases but it's the point of fandom to see things from another perspective rather than thump our own tub?
Exactly, and you basically told them they weren’t entitled to give their opinion. Keep it about the argument, not the poster. And for the millionth time, please stop double posting.
 

katmobile

Scooby
Joined
Jun 17, 2018
Messages
704
Age
47
Exactly, and you basically told them they weren’t entitled to give their opinion. Keep it about the argument, not the poster. And for the millionth time, please stop double posting.
I didn't intend to say that. I just said it's not the only interpretation. I actually do try not to belittle people....but especially them. I also think that others are quite dismissive of others opinions too with their ....no I'm right and you're wrong stich. There's a predictability to what some are going to say.
I'm trying.
 

white avenger

white avenger
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...which just occurred to me is interesting considering how much Spike has expressed how much he likes Buffy's golden locks.
Well, remember the vampire who wouldn't fight Buffy because she smelled like Double Meat hamburgers? He never complained about that either. Spike liked Buffy, any scent, any style, any mood, any...anything. It was Buffy. He never needed anything more.
 
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