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Why does everyone agree that Tara is Willow's soulmate?

Blaze

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Aright folks! This thread was inspired by all the Bangel/Spuffy ship war that seem to be going on around the board right now. Now it got be thinking, it's fairly obvious that Angel is suppose to be Buffy's soulmate, yet a lot of people debate that Spike should be in the running too. And I'm one of those people that do really like Spuffy. Point being, this is not about Bangel/Spuffy but the fact that the opinions on those two are very diversified, and even if Buffy would point blank voice who she likes better, people would still debate who she should be with.

Now, if you ask just about anyone who Willow's soulmate is, people say Tara. Now my question, why is it that everyone agrees on that even when Oz is just about as relevant to the discussion as Spike would be in a Buffy's soulmate question? Not sure if that makes sense and if I'm explaining it well, but it seems that even the biggest Woz fan or the biggest Tillow hater will agree on one thing, Willow did love Tara more than she loved Oz. So why is that?

Why no ship wars with other characters? Is it simply because they never got the attention Buffy's ship got? If anyone actually think Tara isn't Willow's soulmate, please I'd love to hear your opinions! I never see this subject debated so I'm interested in hearing people's opinions.
 

white avenger

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Probably, there aren't many ship wars about any other characters is that there really isn't anything to have a war over. Other than Anya, Xander's only romantic relationship was with Cordelia, and I don't think that anyone actually saw that as a long lasting thing. Likewise, as much as most of us liked Oz, Tara was perfect for Willow almost from the moment that they met. Spike and Dru was never anything more than him wanting her and her wanting Angel, but settling for "Willy." Angel and Cordy? They could have been great, she was certainly willing, and I think that Angel would have been more receptive if it weren't for his curse.

Bangel vs Spuffy, though, now THAT'S a war, not just a little skirmish. I know I'm right, Miss K knows she's right, and we each have a fondness for each other, despite her disillusionment and my bull headed stubbornness. Where else can you get the opportunity to fight tooth and nail with someone and still remain friends. At least I still consider her a friend. Lord only knows what evil thoughts lurk in her Irish brain toward me.

Now, as to whether or not Willow and Tara are soul mates, I think that it would be best to agree on exactly what that term means. As for myself, I think that they shared a bond much closer that anything shared by mere lovers. They completed each other, from almost the very first moment that they met. The perfect illustration of that for me was when Willow was trying to move the vending machine in front of the door to keep the Gentlemen and their minions out. She couldn't move it until Tara took her hand. Tara and Willow together were a force far greater than the mere combined total of the two.

But, do I think that Willow can never love again? Obviously not. We may not like Kennedy, and we may see their relationship as doomed from the beginning, but during its course, it was genuine. And what comes next for Willow will, hopefully, be just as genuine. Soul mates don't always end up together.
 

EVIL UU

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Define soulmate.

Anyway, there is no war because there's nothing to war about. Willow made a decision and Oz accepted her decision. They parted as friends. That's it. Personally, I like Willow/Oz and Willow/Tara just as much but for different reasons. Willow/Oz basically takes this Ye Gods, I'm dating a Werewolf genre and completely steamrolls over it, Willow and Oz take this garbage and just devastate it. It's quite wonderful. Willow/Tara is great too because of the chemistry between them and the themes and issues it explores, like coming out, recreational drug use, competition and abuse in a gay relationship. Besides, dude, lesbians are like cool.

Willow did love Tara more than she loved Oz. So why is that?
I disagree. Love's not maths for goodness sake, she loved Tara in a different way, not more.
 

brinkster130

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I wouldn't describe Tara as Willow's soulmate. I have nothing against the pair and found them incredibly sweet at times, but I always got the sense that Willow had a lack of respect for Tara. Not that she didn't love or value her, but that she didn't really see them as equals in the relationship...she was the one with power.

I think people have strong opinions about other ships in the verse but Buffy's seem to overshadow all those other discussions. As far as Willow's relationships specifically, I think it's less debated because most people would agree that by the end of the televised series it seemed that she had pretty much completely gotten over her feelings for Oz; and her relationship with Kennedy was still to new to hold much weight in an argument.
 
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The Bronze

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OK so my position is I'm not a big fan of the term soulmates, so I'd certainly fall into the doubtful category here. Also I prefer Oz to Tara.

Anyway my suggestion as to why this isn't as hotly debated is because of Willow's sexual identity. I think once Willow declares herself exclusively interested in women it becomes a lot harder to claim her and Oz to be soulmates. You're left with the impression that she loves Tara so much she can never go back. Personally I've always found this a little hard to buy into. You see Willow interested in Xander and Oz for years on screen, bi-sexual always made more sense to me.
 
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slayer6
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Robb Stark
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EffieT1
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Blaze

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[MENTION=11194]EVIL UU[/MENTION]
I'm actually happy that you disagree! I used those terms because they are the ones most often used describing Tara over Oz, but I agree with everything you've said.

[MENTION=6758]white avenger[/MENTION], [MENTION=10582]brinkster130[/MENTION] and [MENTION=12470]The Bronze[/MENTION], you've all brought very good point. I agree with pretty much every point made. I also don't like the term soulmate. It's a bit too black and white for me, soulmate seems to be an oversimplification of things.
 

SallySparrow

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I loved Willow/Oz. They were the first couple I "shipped" on the show. And when Oz left, I had a hard time adjusting to Willow dating someone else. But I quickly fell in love with Willow and Tara. [MENTION=11194]EVIL UU[/MENTION] hit it right on the nose. I think the Willow/Oz vs. Willow/Tara conflict is non-existent because Willow and Oz parted ways without much issue. I can rewatch "Buffy", enjoy Willow/Oz while its going on, be sad when they part, and then be happy again when Tara shows up.

And as for other characters, there aren't many other ships to really war over (aside from the main ship war). I can't really think of any other ones in "Buffy". Maybe some in "Angel" (Fred/Gunn vs. Fred/Wes (with Wes/Lilah thrown in there somewhere)).
 
Blaze
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ILLYRIAN

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A war over relationships?
Was Tara Willow's soulmate, I thought Tara was bad for Willow. So that puts Oz a bit higher up the ladder of success.
Was Kennedy Willow's soulmate? Dunno, but Willow went to Rio with her so that might imply that there was more to that relationship.
Did Willow ever go away with Oz or Tara?

Also
white avenger.
When you stated that Spike and Dru was never anything more than him wanting her and her wanting Angel, but settling for "Willy".
Did you mean Dru or Angel, not that I'm being judgemental but Angel and Willy?
Although it would bugger up the Bangel thing. (pun not intended)
 

HisMrs

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I like Tara but I thought Oz was way better for Willow. They balanced each other better, to me. Willow kind of controlled Tara in certain ways, and that's not what a relationship should be.
 
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slayer6

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I think the reason this issue is not debated very often is because the Bangel VS Spuffy theme is so hotly contested that many fans don't have time to think about it. I'm exaggerating of course but the point is that people including myself are so busy debating spuffy vs bangel that no other ship comes to mind. I do think that Tara was best for willow but I don't know if Willow was best for Tara. My reasoning behind this is that Willow seemed like she felt herself better than Tara because she was much more powerful and didn't seem to care that she was upsetting Tara with her magick use. I don't believe you could cast a spell on someone that you love erasing something from their memory. That is such a violation of that person it is unspeakable, a rape of the mind if you will. It took Tara leaving Willow for Willow to realize what a good thing she had.
 
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iShower4free

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I never really liked Tara in the first place. I definitely thought she was a character that the show would have been perfectly fine never having introduced.
 
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slayer6

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I never really liked Tara in the first place. I definitely thought she was a character that the show would have been perfectly fine never having introduced.
I'm surprised you feel that way. I personally liked the whole evil Willow dynamic that came fro Tara being shot. I guess they could have found another way to make that happen.
 

Evil Angelus 95

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I think Willow loved Tara more because there was more for her to relate with to her than she had to relate with Oz.

With Oz, I don't think Willow really had that much to do with him. Yes, she loved him, I will be the first to admit that because it's the truth, and there's no twisting it in any fashion. But she couldn't do Magick with him, and in general, I don't feel like they had much to discuss together. With Tara, Willow could do Magick with her, had numerous things in common, and as a result, they grew much, much closer than Willow & Oz ever were.
 
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slayer6
How could her and Oz talk he never said 3 consecutive words.

iShower4free

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I'm surprised you feel that way. I personally liked the whole evil Willow dynamic that came fro Tara being shot. I guess they could have found another way to make that happen.
Dark Willow was great, one of the upsides to Tara lol. She was just so, eh idk, bland to me lol.
 
Buffy Summers
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slayer6
Tara was bland as a character I agree I just think her presense was imortant to the storyline

Buffy Summers

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I love Oz and Willow BUT Willow herself through her actions has showed us who she views as her "soulmate" or whatever word you want to use. Her strongest feelings shown are for Tara, so there's evidence I can't deny. Even if I wish it was Oz, it's just not.

And everyone hates Kennedy, so that's not even an option ;)
 
Blaze
Blaze
eh there, I like Kennedy! :P
Evil Angelus 95
Evil Angelus 95
Oh yes, let the Kennedy hate flow through everyone :P
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slayer6
Kennedy drove me nuts
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Robb Stark

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I think the sexual orientation issue is probably the primary reason. While I do believe that Willow loved Tara and viewed her as "The One" to the end of days for her, I think most fans are, not scared, but maybe a little apprehensive of appearing insensitive. I'll be the first to admit that I've felt that way a bit. I understand from a network perspective, that for one of the main characters of a show to start dating a member of the main sex for an entire season, having the old boyfriend of the opposite sex ride in from the sunset and swoop the main character up again would be received as pretty insensitive.

That's just a larger problem I think society has right now though. The notion that sexuality is totally and 100 percent defined at all times. I accept that Willow is gay, but the notion, to me at least, that that somehow cheapens or lessens her relationship with Oz is ridiculous. It wasn't "not real". Willow considered herself straight at the time, so it was very real. Ugh, rambling on to my point...I think labels are dumb. Really dumb.

On the whole, I like Oz much more thought. I thought while underdeveloped over the course of his tenure on the show, he was absolutely hilarious. He meshed and I just really liked him. I get why people love Tara, I certainly don't dislike her, but I don't really find anything special about her either. She's just sort of "there" for me.
 
EVIL UU
EVIL UU
Putting labels on something as absurdly complex as human sexuality is just ridiculous. You love who you love, you want who you want, no reason to intellectualize it.

Buffy Summers

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While I do believe that Willow loved Tara and viewed her as "The One" to the end of days for her, I think most fans are, not scared, but maybe a little apprehensive of appearing insensitive. I'll be the first to admit that I've felt that way a bit.
I agree for myself - sometimes it depends who I'm talking to that I could say "I prefer Willow with Oz" because I feel like some people take that as homophobia when it's not. I LOVE Amber Benson but I don't really like the character of Tara that much, especially in the beginning. I think she could have been awesome if they had brought more Amber into her, which I think they started to do towards the end.

That's just a larger problem I think society has right now though. The notion that sexuality is totally and 100 percent defined at all times. I accept that Willow is gay, but the notion, to me at least, that that somehow cheapens or lessens her relationship with Oz is ridiculous. It wasn't "not real". Willow considered herself straight at the time, so it was very real.
I think the problem that some Woz fans have (including me) is not that Willow & Tara in and of itself negates Willow & Oz, but the insistence from the show itself that Willow ONLY likes girls. I think that DOES inherently make it mean that Willow was not really in love with Oz, and I think that's a really sad thing to say.

I know, because of Willow's actions, that her relationship with Tara means more to her than her relationship with Oz, but I can accept that even though I prefer Woz, under the condition that what she had with Oz was also real. So my personal canon is that Willow is bi, and then it all works together nicely in my head ;) :D
 
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Blaze

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I think the sexual orientation issue is probably the primary reason. While I do believe that Willow loved Tara and viewed her as "The One" to the end of days for her, I think most fans are, not scared, but maybe a little apprehensive of appearing insensitive. I'll be the first to admit that I've felt that way a bit. I understand from a network perspective, that for one of the main characters of a show to start dating a member of the main sex for an entire season, having the old boyfriend of the opposite sex ride in from the sunset and swoop the main character up again would be received as pretty insensitive.
Very, very good point. Here is the issue with the show, I believe it would have been insensitive to bring back the old bf to swoop her off after Tara, but I also believe that it was insensitive to just forget the history with Oz. Either way, I think the production sort of cornered themselves where they had to pick an option, and they picked the one that would get the least amount of people mad. In a way, I'm glad that they did this because at the time, many shows were doing the gay thing one season just to imply that they were cool with it, and then they would revert the character to being straight (The OC, 90212, One Tree Hill etc). But again, it wasn't fait to the fan of Oz to diminish their relationship in any way.

That's just a larger problem I think society has right now though. The notion that sexuality is totally and 100 percent defined at all times. I accept that Willow is gay, but the notion, to me at least, that that somehow cheapens or lessens her relationship with Oz is ridiculous. It wasn't "not real". Willow considered herself straight at the time, so it was very real. Ugh, rambling on to my point...I think labels are dumb. Really dumb.

On the whole, I like Oz much more thought. I thought while underdeveloped over the course of his tenure on the show, he was absolutely hilarious. He meshed and I just really liked him. I get why people love Tara, I certainly don't dislike her, but I don't really find anything special about her either. She's just sort of "there" for me.
Again, couldn't agree more. To me, Willow is gay woman that happened to love a man (which can happen). I don't necessarily think that makes her bisexual, but it does make Oz a real lover, and it does make him an important part of her life. To me, she says it pretty blatantly in New Moon Rising that she'll always love him even if she's gay. When she's talking to Buffy and says "you know, he's Oz", definitely sounds like someone that knows she might not love him like she can love a woman, but she still loves him.

---------- Post added at 10:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:49 AM ----------

I agree for myself - sometimes it depends who I'm talking to that I could say "I prefer Willow with Oz" because I feel like some people take that as homophobia when it's not. I LOVE Amber Benson but I don't really like the character of Tara that much, especially in the beginning. I think she could have been awesome if they had brought more Amber into her, which I think they started to do towards the end.
ugh that makes me cringe for you! Some people really are just looking to find any reasons they can to call others homophobic. It's just a completely ridiculous way to see things.
 
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EVIL UU
EVIL UU
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Kean

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Personally, Willow and Oz is the more interesting ship and certainly the one I enjoyed more. Tara does nothing for me as a character, not to mention Willow during the Tara seasons is utterly intolerable to me. But Willow makes it pretty clear by choosing Tara over Oz and then with their subsequent relationship that Tara is the love of Willow's life. She still references her, even now in the comics and all these years later, she's Willow's "what could have been." We have seen Willow and Oz together since they broke up and it has been loving but in a very platonic way.

Why isn't there ship wars? 1) She's not Buffy, not as many people are going to be as intensely invested in Willow as they are Buffy and 2) her perspective suitors are not the lead male character and his "rival" and so they don't have the fan bases to generate the debates.
 

Wesley Pryce

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Willow and Tara were meant for each other. Tara was so much more interesting than Oz. he always just came in to the room,referenced he was in a band,said a few one liners and left..BORING! Tara had depth,beauty,compassion,kindness,and room left to be progressed. willow and Tara are magic.
 
Evil Angelus 95
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