I always think there is such an obvious link between what happens to Wesley and what Wesley threatened Gunn with at the end of 'This old Gang of Mine' - he specifically says 'it's never easy, the pull of divided loyalties - whatever choice we do end up making we feel as though we've betrayed someone ... if you ever withhold information or attempt to subvert me again, I will fire you. I can't have any one member of the team compromising the safety of the group, no matter who it is. If you do it again you will be dismissed bag and baggage out of a job and onto the streets.'Well, I certainly wouldn't have tried to kill him. I would have given him the opportunity to explain himself, then kicked him out of the group. Because I can't trust him.
This speech can't be a coincidence - it fits too perfectly with everything that will ultimately happen to Wesley - he is the one who compromises the safety of the team - and by specifically saying 'no matter who it is' he is including himself, even if he doesn't know it. He is the one who - after telling Gunn off for doing this - then withholds far more important information, his loyalty is divided between doing what is right as he sees it and not wanting to hurt Angel, meaning he ends up betraying him ... and then he's dismissed bag and baggage out of a job and onto the streets.
This whole speech is a clear laying out of what happens to people who keep secrets and undermines the team - and then that person turns out to be Wesley himself. It can't be a coincidence ... and yet they never circle back to it or reference it again in any way. It's just left at the end of a forgettable MOTW episode near the start of the season and never mentioned again even though if this isn't foreshadowing I don't know what is.
And even if it wasn't purposeful at the time - how could they just leave it lying there when they got to the betrayal?
There's the scene in 'Spin the bottle' where Gunn asks Wesley what happened to him and Wesley replies 'I got my throat cut and all my friends abandoned me' - and it's treated like a mic drop line, but it isn't at all a mic drop line it's actually rank hypocrisy when you consider what he said to Gunn for a far lesser betrayal of the team - and Gunn would be totally within his rights to point that out.
Sometimes I think the show leans a bit hard on the 'poor Wesley' thing. 'He's so dark and tortured' ... yeah and he earned it all himself while holding others to a higher standard and not following his own advice.
I've never had a child, but I can't imagine I would forgive the person who kidnapped it, no - no matter how good they thought their reasons were. And especially if they then ended up in the hands of a psycho who hated me who took them to go live in a hell dimension.
I understand why Wesley does what he does, I know he does it for all the right reasons, but he is in the wrong and he ends up hurting the people he loves far more than he gets hurt. And if he'd only paid attention to his own words back in 'This Old Gang of Mine' he could have avoided it all. He brings everything on himself, what he suffers is well earned and his self pity about it does him no favours. I know they had to have Angel forgive Wesley in order to progress the story along and bring the team back together (the only other option would be writing Wesley out - and that was never going to happen, Joss likes Alexis too much) but I don't really think it's realistic that Angel forgave him - especially as it became more and more clear just how damaged the Connor who returned to him was.