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Xander Positivity Thread

RachM

I'm busy. I'm brooding.
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#1
It really seems that the majority of the threads relating to Xander are people hating on him/discussing why he's so gross/sexist/Nice-Guy-ish, whatever, without any threads actually appreciating him as a character. So for Xander Fans out there like myself, let's have a positivity thread where we can share why we appreciate and love this particular character.

What I love most about Xander Harris is his extraordinary growth over the course of the series. He goes from an immature, kind of callous, unsatisfied slacker, to a hard-working, emotionally stable, kind-hearted adult, who is content to take the backseat to his more powerful friends, but is always the first to throw his hat into the ring. He's definitely a very flawed character but he works to overcome these flaws and you definitely see him grow and change over the series. He's also hilarious and I love Nick Brendon's physical comedy in the role.

Why do you guys love Xander? What do you think are his strengths? Share here and let's see if we can get some Xander Positivity going!
 
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#3
Aww this is such a nice change and you're right we should try to counter all the Xander hate with positivity as opposed to being offended by it -

Instead of being hurt by what seems to be a double standard in regards to the characters and their behavior - we should focus on and celebrate all of Xander's positive attributes.

What I love about Xander - he's brave, funny and smart and actually for all his brashness is pretty darn good at putting things in perspective.

Considering his own insecurities and background - he's a gentle,kind hearted individual who is fiercely loyal to those he loves...
 

Fool for Buffy

I'm just being a big nerd again
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Sineya
#4
Almost all of the characters grow throughout the series but it's strange that Xander doesn't get enough credit for how much he becomes an adult. From being all over Buffy in season 1 and having no idea how to take rejection to where he ends up in season 7, being a leader and especially delivering a speech to Dawn because he has seen what it's like through her eyes is a real full circle change. And it's inspiring for people who identify with not being special or being left out and unheard; they do make a difference and save lives.

But my favorite quality of Xander's is not anything that changes; it's his willingness to stand by Buffy and Willow forever. The three of them hit massive icebergs on their journey, but he remains loyal to them in the end, always deciding that whatever happens is worth it if the two of them are okay. The Yellow Crayon speech is the perfect moment to show that sometimes people just need someone who loves them. And Xander loves Buffy and Willow in a way that a lot of people do not have the privilege to experience.
 

Spanky

Zexy Mercenary
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Black Thorn
#5
If they would have written Xander earlier in the series as they did in S7 I would not have hated the character. He might be my favorite character in S7, certainly in the top two probably.
 

Mrs Gordo

And then she comes along...
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Black Thorn
#6
Xander cracks me up in s1-3. He is a hoot.

I love his speech to Dawn in S7. It’s one of the highlights of the Sesson. He is the only one who sees Dawn that Season. It’s a special connection. And one of the reasons I’m so on board with Dander in the comics.
 
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#7
So where are you at now Mr. Pole lol

Hate / Like ? On the fence?

I actually like early Xander more - I liked all of the characters more in the shows first three seasons - For me those were BTVS golden years - silly but smart, campy and unapologetic - I LOVED it...

I didn't even care that majority of characters were somewhat self involved, little brats :p
 
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#9
Oh well at least your honest and quite respectful about it -

You don't come across as someone that hates the character - well not overtly anyway...

That's okay I have a character or two I HATE as well lol
 
Oh well at least you're honest and quite respectful about it -

You don't come across as someone that hates the character - well not overtly anyway... - like those that take even his positive (i.e - Your season seven like ) and use it against him...

That's okay I have a character or two I HATE as well lol
 
Spanky
Spanky
Well, I don't hate him as much as I do Willow... I hate Willow for the character, I hate Xander for different reasons.

buffy1990

"Every now and then, people surprise you."
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#10
I really love Xander.

Xander is a character for me who is infuriating sometimes, he can be rude, his jokes can be off-color, and sometimes he lets his insecurities get the better of him.

BUT, at the end of the day Xander is loyal and loving, and if you are his friend and you ask him to risk his life and go to the end of the earth and back with you to save the world, he's going to show up without a second thought. That is reason enough for me to love Xander.

Since this is a positivity thread though, I'll sprinkle a few more compliments his way...Xander sees others for what they are, he's brave, he's hilarious, and he gives the best darn heartfelt speeches on the show.
 
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#11
He does - and though he might call them on behavior that he doesn't agree with ( not saying he's in the right ) he always compliments and uplifts his friends... - He thinks the world of them...

It's something they don't do as often as for him - but it warms my heart when they do...
 

Puppet

You rocks think you're so smart.
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Black Thorn
#12
I've always been surprised by the amount of Xander-hate found in the fandom, simply because he is the character you can most easily identify with on the show; he doesn't have any superpowers. But, alas, perhaps that is why people don't like him, identifying with him - whether consciously or not - brings out the things in themselves that they maybe don't like. Anyway...

For me, Xander is close to being a perfect character; he is very flawed, he makes mistakes, but at the end of the day, he never stops trying. Trying to be better, trying to change into someone more worthy, trying to make things right for the people in his life that he cares for. And to me, no matter who you are, if you keep trying to do good then that's a good mark in my book.

I could keep going, but instead I will attach myself to the future, lengthy post that @sosa lola will make and already say that I agree with all of it :p
 
thrasherpix
thrasherpix
Yeah, sosa lola will say and show it better than I ever could.
sosa lola
sosa lola
So much pressure! Must come up with the perfect post :D

WillowFromBuffy

Extra flamy candles!
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#13
I really really like Xander from S4 onwards. I recently wrote at least two posts in defence of Xander recently and I don't have the energy to repeat myself, but I will try to come up with something new.

I don't understand the people who say he treats Anya badly. He treats Anya great, until he leaves her at the altar. Anya is not the easiest person to be around and not the easiest person to be in a relationship with.

The greatest thing about Xander is how incredible open he is. He wears his heart on his sleeve, so that anyone is free to make fun of him. However, when someone else needs someone to talk to, he always responds with love and empathy.
 
MarieVampSlayer
MarieVampSlayer
Thank you! I agree he wasn't the worst boyfriend to Anya!
sosa lola
sosa lola
Yeah, I never got the whole Xander the abusive boyfriend argument.
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#14
Xander did grow a lot. I have my problems with him in s1 to 3 (though I never really hated him), but he's one of those rare characters who I feel got better as the seasons progressed.

And as @dcai0830 already said, his speech to Dawn in Potential is beautiful and possibly my favorite Xander moment in the whole show (along with his speech to Buffy in The Freshman and the yellow crayon speech). It always makes me very emotional and I kind of want to hug him, both for being so supportive of Dawn in that moment and because of what it must feel like being him. I do feel a lot of sympathy for him in that moment.
 
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Sineya
#15
In "The Zeppo", when Xander says, "I like the quiet", he shows that although he has no superpowers or expectation of rescue, he can be a badass. At the end when Cordelia says:

CORDELIA
Oh look, it's mister excitement. On
another life or death donut mission?
Or are we cruising for bimbos again.
Giving them lessons in lack of cool…

He stops, looking at her. Little calm smile. He's little calm smile guy.

CORDELIA (cont'd)
What?

He says nothing. Still with the smile.

CORDELIA (cont'd)
What?

Walks away.

CORDELIA (cont'd)
WHAT?

HOLD ON Xander, calmly walking in the sun.

We finally see Xander being able to ignore comments and stop looking to other people for validation. This is a turning point for him; in all his past activities and interactions, he is looking for approval. Now he has his own sense of worth and doesn't need anything from anyone else.
 
peaceofmind18
peaceofmind18
So wonderful said - in fact much of his so called bad behavior ( though I love him so it never really bothered me ) was him seeking validation from others, considering his family life it's no wonder....
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#17
I enjoy Xander in the early seasons, he seems a very typical teenage boy to me, and he makes me laugh, though there are obvious problems with his characterisation so I understand why people dislike him (though 'hate' seems a bit strong).

In Season 7 we finally leave the boy behind and see the grown man. He's the most together character on the show at the opening of the season. He's happy with his life and the decisions he's made, he has no regrets about leaving Anya and seems, perhaps for the first time, happy in his own skin. It's great to see. He is no longer angry and defensive, he's open to others opinions, he's not needy or judgemental or passive-aggressive and he's helpful and respectful in ways he rarely was previously. I adore S7 Xander
 
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#18
I have said this before in more words, but today I will cut myself short:

Xander is the only scooby without any powers. Yet, he is the one who backs up Buffy in her fights, more than any one else. He is a normal highschool boy, who fights demons and vampires and demons without ever hesitating. He is extraordinarily brave.

I believe, that Xander did not summon Sweet intentionally in OMWF and that leaves him to be the only scooby, who never commited an truly evil act.

flow
 

MarieVampSlayer

Bloody hell, Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers..
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Sineya
#19
I understand that people can have problem with xander but I will fight anyone on theses 3 points:

1) Xander is the braves: Remember, he has no superpower and still go against vampires, demons and even ubervamps without hesitation. He was also the first of the scoobies to help Buffy in her mission in Welcome to the hellmouth. And like a lot of people mention here, have you seen the Zeppo? Total badass.

2) Xander is a good boyfriend and he was right to leave Anya at the altar: Ok did his timing such? yes. Should he have said something before? definitely. Should have married her even if he wasn't on board with it? Hell no! Xander was a good boyfriend to Anya but their relationship lacked good communication which is normal at their age. Was he the perfect boyfriend? No but who is really. He did however always stand by her, help her adjust to her new life, told her mutiple times that he cared and love her. For me, that is good boyfriend material.

3) Xander is the most loyal: Dawn's speech, the yellow crayon speech, multiple speech to Buffy. He was always there for his friends and would be until the end. Comparted to the others, he can really be selfless sometimes whern it comes to fighting with and for his friends.

I believe Xander is the heart of the serie as he was meant to be. A heart is emotions which are intense and sometimes right (when he fights the good fights) or sometimes wrong (when he didn't tell Buffy about Angel's reensoulment). And thanks @RachM for this thread. Xander needs some love!!!!!
 
Spanky
Spanky
I find #2 questionable. I wouldn't really call him a "good" boyfriend.

RachM

I'm busy. I'm brooding.
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#20
Mr. Pole: I find #2 questionable. I wouldn't really call him a "good" boyfriend.

Can we please keep this thread positive. There are plenty of other threads in which people are discussig negatives to Xander, the point of this one was to create a positive space for those of us who love Xander.
 
Spanky
Spanky
That's why I didn't reply I kept it in karma so as it was not drawn attention to. I don't think my saying that was not positive.
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