Um, not really. It's one of the fundamental questions throughout Buffy and Angel and never really answered. Which is why it often crops up on discussion boards...
So has Angel. Angel is still a vampire and therefore a demon. Just because he has a soul doesn't change that fact. Both Angel and Spike had something done to them against their will, the soul giving gypsy curse and the chip respectively, that forces them to be "nice". Why should one be considered a person and not the other? Spike has sentience just like a human and even complains to Anya about people treating him as a thing rather than a person.
There's a difference between treating someone respectfully as a common decency and wanting them romantically pursuing your daughter. Joyce is aware that Spike is a vampire and she probably remembers how well Buffy's last relationship with a vampire ended. It's no different than if you know a former addict. You're aware they've done some iffy stuff in their past but that doesn't stop you treating them as a person. However, if they start showing a romantic interest in your daughter, then you're going to get a little twitchy regardless because that's not the type of person you want your daughter getting romantically involved with.
Say what?
To which one ?
I agree that he is somewhat paternalistic towards Buffy, but I take issue with the other two. He certainly does not groom Buffy in the creepy/sexual connotative sense of the word. You are using language that implies much but is too vague for me to properly engage. How does he have a Madonna whore complex? Because his ex was a literal whore and his girlfriend is a literal virgin? He does sleep with Buffy twice it does not seem to affect how he sees her.
I would call it "unintentional grooming". He does engage in active seduction mode, is older and more experienced, purposefully withholds important information from her thereby keeping the power balance in his favor (whether he's fully aware of it is another matter, but the result is pretty much the same). When Buffy expresses worry about whether Spike & Dru are alive in Surprise, he cuts her off by kissing her and when she's talking about "seeing him at bedtime" and is embarrassed by it, he presses the issue so she'll admit that she wants to get physical. There is a bit of a conundrum when it comes to Angel, because it can be hard to tell what was the writers' intent when paired with DB's weird acting : sometimes he comes off as creepy when I don't believe he was meant to be, so it's all pretty confusing.
This explains my feeling that if Angel had become human on his show, out of all characters and his squad, Fred would be the main candidate for him since she is so his type, he is attracted to her innocence (but already had that with Buffy and knows he would only have to leave again) which sounds so gross to say but I attributed it to "innocent" is the one thing he wants to be in the world and the one thing he can never have. Not that it makes it any less of the dichotomy trope you describe or less psychosexual in nature but I contribute that facet of his character partially to that which does not alter the complex just contributes to it.
I think that's a contradiction. 'Grooming' has very specific connotations of active and intentional manipulation of someone for one's own sexual/criminal purposes. There's a nefariousness to it and that's why it's a crime and why we apply the term very specifically to situations. You can't 'accidentally' groom someone.
I think you're reading far too much insidiousness into that scene. I agree that DB's green acting can sometimes make things confusing but in that scene I don't think it's meant to be some sort of ccalculated control move. He kisses her because she's anxious and he's trying to distract her from her freakout (it's also a pretty standard romantic trope - we often see one person of a couple suddenly kiss the other in the middle of a conversation or sentence in romcoms etc..). And I don't think that final bit is him pressing the issue to make her admit anything. He just tries to clarify what she meant. It seems to me that they both know what's going on there but aren't ready to come out and say it yet. They tiptoe round it a bit until Buffy offers a more pointed and transparent indicator of what she's been feeling and Angel lets her know he's on the same page.
I don't see how. If Angel wasn't attracted to her on the show as a vampire then why would he be attracted to her when human? His (meta)physical state doesn't dictate his romantic preferences.
Well, I meant Angel finds Fred's innocence endearing (all the male characters did, I never found Wesley and Guns sudden and fervent interest believable, it was plot by proxy which is sometimes necessary) I had picked up on Angelus' affinity for religious symbolism, his whole deal with maidens and what not, as @Cheese Slices describes. Angelus' is preoccupied by the issues that concerned as human as Angel is by what did as Angelus', which is why in my personal opinion Fred as romantic interest is believable more for him then the other two when considering established precedent.
And just to add to this if Angel's main draw to Buffy was this Madonna complex wouldn't he have lost interest once Buffy was no longer a virgin? He is interested her in s3 after they slept together, he wants her so much he fears for his soul. He obviously loves and wants her when she visits him in IWRY after he knows that she has been with another man (courtesy of Spike's info). He comes back to her in Chosen and declares that he is waiting for her to bake in TGIQ. After he knows that Buffy has been with Parker, Riley AND Spike. He still loves and wants her.
I disagree. At least in the popular usage of the term, a woman who has daddy issues is often because a father was absent or left her as happened to Buffy, and it greatly upset her as we see in season 1 Nightmares. Those with such issues fear abandonment just as Buffy does. They're also thought of as chasing older men which Angel and Spike both qualify as.
The redflags for Riley being unable to stand Buffy's strength and darker/slayer side are waved from pretty much the beginning (the Initiative, Doomed, and pretty much the back half of S4), so his character wasn't assassinated as much as developped.
I honestly don't know what you mean, unless you're talking about what I see as the result of his withdrawal from demonic chemicals and finding out his entire life he believed in was a lie. (He was also ridiculously jealous, but that's almost every character in the Whedonverse.)
Off the top of my head : his "teutonic" statement in the Initiative, his insecurity when faced with Buffy's experience and strength "The girls I knew back home could hold their own, but I'm not sure I could take you" (ie I'm ok with strong girls, but not with girls that are stronger than me) "Give me a week and I'll take you out" (there's definitely a double reading - sure it's playful, but the rest of his behavior indicates that he's actually working to be stonger than Buffy - see his refusal to take the chip out), his shame when he finds out she's holding back, etc...
He does and, as he admits, he also finds her craziness rather endearing, which suggests a link back to Dru. I absolutely agree with you about Angel's own lost innocence being a component of what draws him to Buffy - in addition, I'd say it's his guilt at having destroyed so much innocence and goodness as a vampire that also motivates him to want to help her and preserve her human side. However, as his fondness for Fred that didn't turn into anything more on the show, I fail to see how turning human would make Angel any more attracted to her if he wasn't interested in her before.
