ChosenOne
Potential
Here's what you've all been waiting (I seriously doubt that 🙂)
Doing PR work for the Buffy Movie
Behind the Stake Episode 4:
The New Hope
This story takes place about a year and a half after the events of Episode 3 in 2010.
Once again I love Amber Benson. She's great so don't reply saying Do you hate her?. Don't take this seriously at all. It's just fun.
A short time ago
In a country I really, really can't spell.
Behind the Stake
Episode 4;
The New Hope
The Mutant Enemy Alliance regroups after a vicious defeat at the hands of The Benson in the Privacy Wars
Now sends members who took part in that war all over the planet of Earth,
To publicise the soon to be released Buffy: The Same Generation movie.
These interrogations were never broadcast,
Due to the unpredictability of the cast
The mighty creator Joss Whedon decides to look at the tapes to see if they can feature in the soon to be DVD as special bonus features,
Joss:
OK are these all of them?
Man:
Yeah, that's "˜em all.
Joss:
Just put them over there, Egor.
The man sets about 2 tapes down on a table, Joss and a couple of other people are in the room also. It seems to be an editing room. The video reads;
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Alyson Hannigan
Amber Benson
Anthony Stewart Head
Michelle Trachtenberg
Nicholas Brendon
For; Entertainment! Television (USA)
BBC Entertainment (UK)
TV3 (Germany)
HK2 (China)
Joss;
Right we've gotta get through this (beep) pile by the end of the day. Fine let's get this wagon on the road put the tape in.
A man sitting at the editing desk places the Video in the slot and presses play. A message appears on the screen it reads:
"The following features footage from an interview with cast members. For various networks around the world"
We see a room with 5 reporters in it, they all have notepads and Dictaphones. This is a green room. The door opens and a woman walks in.
Woman;
Welcome. I have been told to come and tell you how these interviews will go. This is different from most interviews. Due to scheduling conflicts"¦
The Australian reporter laughs and snorts loudly
Woman;
Oh for (beep)s sake. Excuse me Mister do you have a problem?
Australian Reporter;
No sorry, I was just watching that pig fly by the window.
Woman;
"¦ yes well. Anyway due to scheduling conflicts and the actor's time"¦
All of the reporters in the room being snorting and making Oinking noises.
Woman;
The actors are all to be interviewed at the same time. You will each get 5 minutes with them. You may follow me
The reporter follow the woman out of the room and into an other room which has been done up to resemble the Summer's residence living room. The cast are sitting on separated chairs. While Amber Benson is lying feet up on the sofa. The reporters sit down and start recording and begin writing notes.
SMG;
Why are you taking notes, we haven't started yet.
German Reporter;
We are just writing about the location.
SMG;
Wow, OK that's boring
Anthony;
Well aren't you going to ask us something?
American Reporter;
Sarah Bennit, Entertainment! News. What made you decide to return to the role of Buffy after so many years, Sarah?
SMG;
Look Miss. All American Girl. My business is my own and I'm so sick to death of you (beep)ing reporter type sneaking around my home trying to take pictures of me naked. And I'll have you know that's it's a birthmark nothing to do with any cult. And those stitches around my breasts are from REDUCTION surgery, not enlargement at all. I just ate lots of Iron, and Spinach. That's all
Amber;
Oi, Sarah shut your ass and let your mouth have a chance, well (beep)ers I was invited back to the role of the lesbian Tara, umm lesbian, after Joss lost his cat in a tragic accident involving nails and a hammer and a criminal who is still at large and rumoured to be in Japan and mot me. I comforted him"¦
Michelle T.;
Moved in you mean.
Amber picks up a stone paper weight that was on the table and hits Michelle across the back of the head. She's out cold
Amber;
Aw, she's so peaceful looking.
And after he was feeling better Joss told me I was welcome to come back any time I wanted. (To the other cast members) And no one will ever know any different
American Reporter;
And that's what happened?
Amber;
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
German Reporter;
Alyson, wat waz it like playing Willo again?
Alyson;
Thanks that's so sweet, but I don't speak much German and I really don't understand what you just said.
German Man;
I waz speaking Englizh;
Alyson;
Again sorry, didn't get that last part. Could we maybe get a translator in here.
A woman walks up to the German man and whispers something into his ear.
German Man;
(In really bad American accent)
Hi all, Hi Alyson, Welcome to America.
Anthony;
Really, are we in America. I must've put a little something in my tea. Because I could've sworn I was in London last night.
Amber;
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. (beep)ing English people trying to lock me in the (beep)ing Zoo well I showed them. Amber break free. Amber no like smelly jungle food.
Anthony;
Why must you always speak?
Amber;
I'm a lesbian. It's is my thing. So (beep) off! Rupert
Anthony:
How many (beep)ing times my name is Anthony not Rupert.
Amber;
What ever you say, Spongebob.
Chinese Reporter;
Hallo, what is good for soul in Buffy?
Nicholas;
Are you kidding me? Here in the US of A we don't eat (beep)ing Shark tail. Or kill wild bears with our bare hand and make soup outta them.
Amber;
Speak for your self.
SMG;
Look, if this is someway to get me to talk about Angel losing his soul in Season 2. Then forget about it that part of my life is over.
American Reporter;
Yet you continue to play Buffy. Why because you love to spend endless hours filming at night.
SMG;
Shut up! Miss. Independent
American Reporter;
I wish you would stop addressing my like that
SMG;
I'll do what ever the (beep) I want. Miss. Shake and Vac.
English Reporter;
Please, Amber. Why did you attack certain catering staff during filming.
Amber;
It sort of my thing, well that and cheese. Well that's an interesting question, It was first published in 1987 under the name Buck Jones but was later changed to Poultry Today"¦
German Reporter;
How"¦ interesting!?
Do you hope do to more movies of Buffy?
Nicholas:
Well I was hoping to get my own movie deal. But nooo I'm Mr. Character's Run his course. And of course Miss Attention getter over in the corner there.
Amber;
Are you talking "˜bout me?
Nicholas;
Good Jesus No! Mrs. Freddie Prinze Junior
Amber;
Now this time I know you're talking "˜bout me. See look it says here on my death certificate"¦ Um yeah y'all didn't see that Ok.
SMG;
Nicky how about I come over there and beat your (beep)ing face in.
Alyson;
I wouldn't mind seeing a hair pulling contest.
Nick and SMG;
HEY!
Michelle T;
It's true. You do fight like girls. Well one of you qualifies but the other well he just failed miserably in the guy test.
Amber;
Go back to sleep.
(Amber injects Michelle with something)
Michelle;
What the (beep) did you just shoot me with?
Anthony;
Now that's what I call entertainment!
Amber;
Well, my little worm-infested tree bark. It's says here it's sodium penethol. By the way I haven't a (beep)ing clue what the hell it is.
American Reporter;
That's a truth serum. I saw it on the discovery channel
SMG;
Check you out, Mr. No life
American Reporter;
Just you remember that I can make the whole country hate you with one word.
SMG;
Really.
American Reporter;
Yes, well except Canada I don't think any body has any control over them.
Now I'm gonna ask Michelle a few questions.
Michelle, What do you really think of the cast
Michelle T;
They are a (beep)ing crowd of (beep)ers, who (beep) and (beep) all (beep)ing day long.(beep) and (beep)ers what a load of bull(beep)ers. And Sarah well(beep) you and your (beep)ing (beep)er of a (beeping) husband.
BBC Reporter;
Mother of (beep) I don't think any one can broadcast that.
Chinese Reporter;
We eat pig's testicles. Of course we can show that.
Amber;
(To Michelle)
This one's got potential.
The woman from earlier walks in and says;
Woman;
You have 3 minutes. Make this the last question.
German Reporter;
Gut! I shall go. Amber please answer honestly what dress size are you.
Amber;
Well of course you can't trust the Germans. You are like the worst (beep)ing losers ever. Not 5 minutes in and you have to mention the bloody war! Can't you just leave it you lost end of story. And I got that Nazi tattoo removed!
German Reporter;
But I did not mention the"¦
Amber is on her feet marching shouting
"Raus!, Raus!, Raus!"
Anthony;
Oh my god!
Amber;
You filthy animals are not worthy to look upon my divine body. Bow down before me and say hello to the 4th Reich!
Two policemen come in and seize her. She is dragged out of the room and still shouting obscenities and in German.
Alyson;
Has anyone else noticed that Michelle hasn't been awake for over 5 minutes.
SMG;
I'm sure she'll be fine. Probably just a side effect of the mind numbing pain.
Woman;
OK thank you all for your time. The interview is over. Follow me I have some forms for you all to sign.
They all leave the room with Michelle still lying unconscious on the chair.
Two minutes later a ambulance crew rush into the room. The start CPR shouts of "We're losing her" and "Clear!" fill the room.
Ambulance Man;
Why did they do to her.
Ambulance Man #2;
No them. It!
Amber is standing in the door way. Her eyes red with a Swastika painted on her face.
She charges at Michelle and the ambulance men. Then knocks over the camera.
We see Alyson peeking through the door to see what's going on. Amber sees her and runs after her shouting "Lesbians for ever" and "Once you've had cream you never go back"
The camera breaks completely.
Alyson;
(From down the hall)
HOLY (BEEP)!!!
Back in the editing room
Joss;
We can use a (beep)ing thing on that tape! Think of the hate mail.
Man;
Think of the publicity. The sales"¦
Joss;
Good point! Money equals good. Interview equals good. Therefore I'm rich.
It's gonna be the best (beep)ing DVD ever
Man;
Somehow I seriously doubt that!
THE END
I do think that this is the worst one i've done. And with school staring up again this is the last i will be writing for a while. I might to the next one around the end of october (Mid term break) So for now see ya' (I so can hear those cheers 🙁)
Doing PR work for the Buffy Movie
Behind the Stake Episode 4:
The New Hope
This story takes place about a year and a half after the events of Episode 3 in 2010.
Once again I love Amber Benson. She's great so don't reply saying Do you hate her?. Don't take this seriously at all. It's just fun.
A short time ago
In a country I really, really can't spell.
Behind the Stake
Episode 4;
The New Hope
The Mutant Enemy Alliance regroups after a vicious defeat at the hands of The Benson in the Privacy Wars
Now sends members who took part in that war all over the planet of Earth,
To publicise the soon to be released Buffy: The Same Generation movie.
These interrogations were never broadcast,
Due to the unpredictability of the cast
The mighty creator Joss Whedon decides to look at the tapes to see if they can feature in the soon to be DVD as special bonus features,
Joss:
OK are these all of them?
Man:
Yeah, that's "˜em all.
Joss:
Just put them over there, Egor.
The man sets about 2 tapes down on a table, Joss and a couple of other people are in the room also. It seems to be an editing room. The video reads;
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Alyson Hannigan
Amber Benson
Anthony Stewart Head
Michelle Trachtenberg
Nicholas Brendon
For; Entertainment! Television (USA)
BBC Entertainment (UK)
TV3 (Germany)
HK2 (China)
Joss;
Right we've gotta get through this (beep) pile by the end of the day. Fine let's get this wagon on the road put the tape in.
A man sitting at the editing desk places the Video in the slot and presses play. A message appears on the screen it reads:
"The following features footage from an interview with cast members. For various networks around the world"
We see a room with 5 reporters in it, they all have notepads and Dictaphones. This is a green room. The door opens and a woman walks in.
Woman;
Welcome. I have been told to come and tell you how these interviews will go. This is different from most interviews. Due to scheduling conflicts"¦
The Australian reporter laughs and snorts loudly
Woman;
Oh for (beep)s sake. Excuse me Mister do you have a problem?
Australian Reporter;
No sorry, I was just watching that pig fly by the window.
Woman;
"¦ yes well. Anyway due to scheduling conflicts and the actor's time"¦
All of the reporters in the room being snorting and making Oinking noises.
Woman;
The actors are all to be interviewed at the same time. You will each get 5 minutes with them. You may follow me
The reporter follow the woman out of the room and into an other room which has been done up to resemble the Summer's residence living room. The cast are sitting on separated chairs. While Amber Benson is lying feet up on the sofa. The reporters sit down and start recording and begin writing notes.
SMG;
Why are you taking notes, we haven't started yet.
German Reporter;
We are just writing about the location.
SMG;
Wow, OK that's boring
Anthony;
Well aren't you going to ask us something?
American Reporter;
Sarah Bennit, Entertainment! News. What made you decide to return to the role of Buffy after so many years, Sarah?
SMG;
Look Miss. All American Girl. My business is my own and I'm so sick to death of you (beep)ing reporter type sneaking around my home trying to take pictures of me naked. And I'll have you know that's it's a birthmark nothing to do with any cult. And those stitches around my breasts are from REDUCTION surgery, not enlargement at all. I just ate lots of Iron, and Spinach. That's all
Amber;
Oi, Sarah shut your ass and let your mouth have a chance, well (beep)ers I was invited back to the role of the lesbian Tara, umm lesbian, after Joss lost his cat in a tragic accident involving nails and a hammer and a criminal who is still at large and rumoured to be in Japan and mot me. I comforted him"¦
Michelle T.;
Moved in you mean.
Amber picks up a stone paper weight that was on the table and hits Michelle across the back of the head. She's out cold
Amber;
Aw, she's so peaceful looking.
And after he was feeling better Joss told me I was welcome to come back any time I wanted. (To the other cast members) And no one will ever know any different
American Reporter;
And that's what happened?
Amber;
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
German Reporter;
Alyson, wat waz it like playing Willo again?
Alyson;
Thanks that's so sweet, but I don't speak much German and I really don't understand what you just said.
German Man;
I waz speaking Englizh;
Alyson;
Again sorry, didn't get that last part. Could we maybe get a translator in here.
A woman walks up to the German man and whispers something into his ear.
German Man;
(In really bad American accent)
Hi all, Hi Alyson, Welcome to America.
Anthony;
Really, are we in America. I must've put a little something in my tea. Because I could've sworn I was in London last night.
Amber;
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. (beep)ing English people trying to lock me in the (beep)ing Zoo well I showed them. Amber break free. Amber no like smelly jungle food.
Anthony;
Why must you always speak?
Amber;
I'm a lesbian. It's is my thing. So (beep) off! Rupert
Anthony:
How many (beep)ing times my name is Anthony not Rupert.
Amber;
What ever you say, Spongebob.
Chinese Reporter;
Hallo, what is good for soul in Buffy?
Nicholas;
Are you kidding me? Here in the US of A we don't eat (beep)ing Shark tail. Or kill wild bears with our bare hand and make soup outta them.
Amber;
Speak for your self.
SMG;
Look, if this is someway to get me to talk about Angel losing his soul in Season 2. Then forget about it that part of my life is over.
American Reporter;
Yet you continue to play Buffy. Why because you love to spend endless hours filming at night.
SMG;
Shut up! Miss. Independent
American Reporter;
I wish you would stop addressing my like that
SMG;
I'll do what ever the (beep) I want. Miss. Shake and Vac.
English Reporter;
Please, Amber. Why did you attack certain catering staff during filming.
Amber;
It sort of my thing, well that and cheese. Well that's an interesting question, It was first published in 1987 under the name Buck Jones but was later changed to Poultry Today"¦
German Reporter;
How"¦ interesting!?
Do you hope do to more movies of Buffy?
Nicholas:
Well I was hoping to get my own movie deal. But nooo I'm Mr. Character's Run his course. And of course Miss Attention getter over in the corner there.
Amber;
Are you talking "˜bout me?
Nicholas;
Good Jesus No! Mrs. Freddie Prinze Junior
Amber;
Now this time I know you're talking "˜bout me. See look it says here on my death certificate"¦ Um yeah y'all didn't see that Ok.
SMG;
Nicky how about I come over there and beat your (beep)ing face in.
Alyson;
I wouldn't mind seeing a hair pulling contest.
Nick and SMG;
HEY!
Michelle T;
It's true. You do fight like girls. Well one of you qualifies but the other well he just failed miserably in the guy test.
Amber;
Go back to sleep.
(Amber injects Michelle with something)
Michelle;
What the (beep) did you just shoot me with?
Anthony;
Now that's what I call entertainment!
Amber;
Well, my little worm-infested tree bark. It's says here it's sodium penethol. By the way I haven't a (beep)ing clue what the hell it is.
American Reporter;
That's a truth serum. I saw it on the discovery channel
SMG;
Check you out, Mr. No life
American Reporter;
Just you remember that I can make the whole country hate you with one word.
SMG;
Really.
American Reporter;
Yes, well except Canada I don't think any body has any control over them.
Now I'm gonna ask Michelle a few questions.
Michelle, What do you really think of the cast
Michelle T;
They are a (beep)ing crowd of (beep)ers, who (beep) and (beep) all (beep)ing day long.(beep) and (beep)ers what a load of bull(beep)ers. And Sarah well(beep) you and your (beep)ing (beep)er of a (beeping) husband.
BBC Reporter;
Mother of (beep) I don't think any one can broadcast that.
Chinese Reporter;
We eat pig's testicles. Of course we can show that.
Amber;
(To Michelle)
This one's got potential.
The woman from earlier walks in and says;
Woman;
You have 3 minutes. Make this the last question.
German Reporter;
Gut! I shall go. Amber please answer honestly what dress size are you.
Amber;
Well of course you can't trust the Germans. You are like the worst (beep)ing losers ever. Not 5 minutes in and you have to mention the bloody war! Can't you just leave it you lost end of story. And I got that Nazi tattoo removed!
German Reporter;
But I did not mention the"¦
Amber is on her feet marching shouting
"Raus!, Raus!, Raus!"
Anthony;
Oh my god!
Amber;
You filthy animals are not worthy to look upon my divine body. Bow down before me and say hello to the 4th Reich!
Two policemen come in and seize her. She is dragged out of the room and still shouting obscenities and in German.
Alyson;
Has anyone else noticed that Michelle hasn't been awake for over 5 minutes.
SMG;
I'm sure she'll be fine. Probably just a side effect of the mind numbing pain.
Woman;
OK thank you all for your time. The interview is over. Follow me I have some forms for you all to sign.
They all leave the room with Michelle still lying unconscious on the chair.
Two minutes later a ambulance crew rush into the room. The start CPR shouts of "We're losing her" and "Clear!" fill the room.
Ambulance Man;
Why did they do to her.
Ambulance Man #2;
No them. It!
Amber is standing in the door way. Her eyes red with a Swastika painted on her face.
She charges at Michelle and the ambulance men. Then knocks over the camera.
We see Alyson peeking through the door to see what's going on. Amber sees her and runs after her shouting "Lesbians for ever" and "Once you've had cream you never go back"
The camera breaks completely.
Alyson;
(From down the hall)
HOLY (BEEP)!!!
Back in the editing room
Joss;
We can use a (beep)ing thing on that tape! Think of the hate mail.
Man;
Think of the publicity. The sales"¦
Joss;
Good point! Money equals good. Interview equals good. Therefore I'm rich.
It's gonna be the best (beep)ing DVD ever
Man;
Somehow I seriously doubt that!
THE END
I do think that this is the worst one i've done. And with school staring up again this is the last i will be writing for a while. I might to the next one around the end of october (Mid term break) So for now see ya' (I so can hear those cheers 🙁)