Slaying_Spuffy
Fluffy Puppy Avenger
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2005
- Messages
- 67
Okay, so this is kind of a bad beginning. This is my first fiction, so it is bound to lack goodness, but please read it anyways. I'm only going to post the first chapter (or whatever they are called) I'd like to know what you think before I continue. So here it goes.
Title: Bloody -Night- Mary
Rating:Ummm lemme concider
Summary: Peer pressure overwhelms Dawn, leading to the discovery of an ancient ghostly figure who was believed to just be a story.
Disclaimer: Although I'd like to, I own none of the BTVS characters, only the ones in this story that I made up. You'll know which ones.
Lyrics: None YET
A/N: This is my first fan fiction EVER, so I had to "copy" the format from other fics! Sorry if it sucks!
Bloody -Night- Mary chapter 1
The caption reads "England May 18, 1612". A small woman scurries down the wooden sidewalks, hiding her face with anything she could. The sun is setting, creating a beautiful vision of mixed colors in the sky. Very few voices flow through to on coming darkness. The woman turns a corner, walks half way down the block, and then turns into an alley like opening surrounded by buildings on both sides. As the sun nearly disappears over the mountains, her pace increases rapidly. Finally, at the end of the alley, she opens a large wooden gate and reveals a very small brick-like house with a well in the front yard.
Inside the house, the woman struggles to catch her breath as she heads up a narrow hallway and into the bathroom. After splashing some water onto her sweat-draped face, she looks into the mirror and inhales the warm air. Her days all seemed to go the same way lately. Wake up at 8 o'clock, get to work by 9. Work all day at the cramped market and get off just in time to practically run home in order to avoid the sunset. When tomorrow comes, she knew it'd be the very same. Great... Just great! she thought. I truly believe I am living in hell!
Seconds passed before a tapping noise came from the other side of the mirror. The woman's hate-the-world look transformed into a curious, scared look. The tapping noise occurred again, this time louder then before. Hesitantly, she places her hand on the mirror and slides it to the left. Nothing. The cabinet was empty. Letting out a satisfied sigh, she slides the cabinet closed.
An evil laugh sounds out. There, inside the mirror its self, was a pasty white female with blood all over her face, long tangled black hair that fell long past her shoulders, blood stains from her nose to her chin, and eyes of fire stared back at the woman; eyes glistening ready for the kill.
The woman steps back and screams as the ghost in the mirror rises her hand into view, showing off her large knife and its blood stained razor sharp blade. The laugh sounds out again as the undead corpse reaches out of the mirror and grabs the woman. Struggling not to fall towards the ghostly figure, the woman screams repeatedly, already clueing in on the fact that her strength was no match for Mary; Bloody Mary!
With a sharp tug, the woman falls to the sink, instantly flying into the mirror and disappearing from the bathroom; and from the world!!! Seconds later, blood squirts onto the mirror; but it squirts from the other side of the mirror. Not the side that can be viewed by simply looking into a mirror. The side that can only be viewed by her. Anyone else who sees it... Well, I guess it's safe to say they'll never tell about it. Mostly because they are all dead.
The bathroom lights flicker on and off for a moment, before turning off completely. Only she and the walls of the bathroom would ever know the truth about the disappearance of Jezzibell McGregor. And that was the way she intended on keeping it. Anybody who dared look into the mirror of a dark room and repeat her name three times would surely pay the price. After all, that was her curse. The curse of Bloody Mary.
So.... What do you think? I imagine I'll get a big fat :lame: reply, but atleast I took a chance? LoL. Anyways, please PLEASE be honest. :dork:
Title: Bloody -Night- Mary
Rating:Ummm lemme concider
Summary: Peer pressure overwhelms Dawn, leading to the discovery of an ancient ghostly figure who was believed to just be a story.
Disclaimer: Although I'd like to, I own none of the BTVS characters, only the ones in this story that I made up. You'll know which ones.
Lyrics: None YET
A/N: This is my first fan fiction EVER, so I had to "copy" the format from other fics! Sorry if it sucks!
Bloody -Night- Mary chapter 1
The caption reads "England May 18, 1612". A small woman scurries down the wooden sidewalks, hiding her face with anything she could. The sun is setting, creating a beautiful vision of mixed colors in the sky. Very few voices flow through to on coming darkness. The woman turns a corner, walks half way down the block, and then turns into an alley like opening surrounded by buildings on both sides. As the sun nearly disappears over the mountains, her pace increases rapidly. Finally, at the end of the alley, she opens a large wooden gate and reveals a very small brick-like house with a well in the front yard.
Inside the house, the woman struggles to catch her breath as she heads up a narrow hallway and into the bathroom. After splashing some water onto her sweat-draped face, she looks into the mirror and inhales the warm air. Her days all seemed to go the same way lately. Wake up at 8 o'clock, get to work by 9. Work all day at the cramped market and get off just in time to practically run home in order to avoid the sunset. When tomorrow comes, she knew it'd be the very same. Great... Just great! she thought. I truly believe I am living in hell!
Seconds passed before a tapping noise came from the other side of the mirror. The woman's hate-the-world look transformed into a curious, scared look. The tapping noise occurred again, this time louder then before. Hesitantly, she places her hand on the mirror and slides it to the left. Nothing. The cabinet was empty. Letting out a satisfied sigh, she slides the cabinet closed.
An evil laugh sounds out. There, inside the mirror its self, was a pasty white female with blood all over her face, long tangled black hair that fell long past her shoulders, blood stains from her nose to her chin, and eyes of fire stared back at the woman; eyes glistening ready for the kill.
The woman steps back and screams as the ghost in the mirror rises her hand into view, showing off her large knife and its blood stained razor sharp blade. The laugh sounds out again as the undead corpse reaches out of the mirror and grabs the woman. Struggling not to fall towards the ghostly figure, the woman screams repeatedly, already clueing in on the fact that her strength was no match for Mary; Bloody Mary!
With a sharp tug, the woman falls to the sink, instantly flying into the mirror and disappearing from the bathroom; and from the world!!! Seconds later, blood squirts onto the mirror; but it squirts from the other side of the mirror. Not the side that can be viewed by simply looking into a mirror. The side that can only be viewed by her. Anyone else who sees it... Well, I guess it's safe to say they'll never tell about it. Mostly because they are all dead.
The bathroom lights flicker on and off for a moment, before turning off completely. Only she and the walls of the bathroom would ever know the truth about the disappearance of Jezzibell McGregor. And that was the way she intended on keeping it. Anybody who dared look into the mirror of a dark room and repeat her name three times would surely pay the price. After all, that was her curse. The curse of Bloody Mary.
So.... What do you think? I imagine I'll get a big fat :lame: reply, but atleast I took a chance? LoL. Anyways, please PLEASE be honest. :dork: