PrincessBuffy16
Scooby
Buffy was sitting on the window bench in her old room in LA. All this years her feather didn't touched it, despite the fact they haven't heard each other for a long time. Room had the smell of her old life, the one before all the demons, vampires and other monsters with tricky names. She was mourning over him for all these years. While she was walking on cemeteries and intruding in crypts, superficial talk about boys and clothes seemed like a dream come true. But to her that kind of thoughts were forbidden because she had to save the world from the unded who have wacky plans how to destroy it. She was thinking about calling her old friends who probably forgot about her, but she gave up that idea when she came to the conclusion that every one of them is working in some bad fast food restaurant till some famous director uncevors them and realize their life wish to become an actress. They have right on their own wishes and dreams because they don't know what's going on around and under them. And if they knew it wouldn't be their worry. Although she lived in LA for a long time, it was hard to accustom on lines of high buildings and angry drivers that were worse then any monster from Hellmouth in Sunnydale. She moved curtains on the side and looked to the sun that was touching one of the high buildings. It looked like it's going to put them on fire. She couldn't throw out picture of Spike, who was burning to save her life. It wasn't clear to her what she feels about him. Or what she felt. Maybe that was love or pure gratitude. At this moment it was mostly gratitude, because he is the reason why the world is still here. She finally managed to throw out that picture when sun vanished behind the buildings. She moved from the window because moon is going to rise soon, and that provoked some kind of insecurity in her, because she learned most of the bad things are happening at night. She tapped with her foot, fast and insecure. She still wasn't fully on the ground. Well not mentaly. Her hand was peeping from the sleeve of the blue sweater, and moved her hair that was falling on her eyes. They were little and full of tears, because she didn't got much sleep. She was haunted by the picture of happy and normal life, like that's her obligation now. Since they moved to the LA, because Sunnydale is one big hole now, Buffy hasn't left the house. She wasn't the only slayer anymore, but she was still afraid that evil is going to find her somehow. And in that house she got partly normal life, except the communication with world. Faith decided to go to the Clevland, because there is another Hellmouth. She took principal Wood with her, how Buffy still called him in her mind. She moved curtains on the window and sat on the bad. She was careful to cover the whole window so that rays of moonlight can't come in. She put her hand in her hair, and her eyes were still filled with tears. Something bugged her, she knew what, but she was scared to admit it. She's not the only chosen one anymore, there are thousands of them in the world, if not more. It was sad, but that bugged her. She was ashamed by that thought and she tried to repress it, but it came back everytime, like boomerang. She always wanted a normal life, but know she figured out that she don't know how to live it. Not after all the things she saw and survived. Definition of normality now was unclear, how come someone can define what's normal? The one who tries that it's insane. Or that person is big idealist who want's a better world. But the truth is that normality is some standard that world put, but every man lives by his own rules and drop that border of normality. She never had that border. That bar was on the floor for a long time. She was still feeling guilty that Xander got hurt in the fight with Caleb, although he never said anything to her. She promised herself that she is going to protect her friends and rather die then let something happen to them. She was so grateful on them, because it's not usual that the vampire slayer has friends. It's probably easier to work that kind of job without others, and it's not like people are standing in the line to be friends with a girl who spends her nights on the cemeteries. But Buffy never took orders or respected rules because she was the one with the power. Although friends, boys and social life didn't fit her schedule, or life even, she made place for them. Willow knocked on the door loudly. Buffy mopped tears from her eyes, stand on her feet and went to open the door, but Willow was feeling free enough to come in. In her hands was white ceramic plate with blue pattern with fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. That's how Willow was dealing with that situation, she tried to do the most normal things on the most normal way. She put a big smile on her face and pointed her finger on the bed. Buffy returned smile to her, what else could she do? Willow put cookies on the desk and sat on the bed, opposite Buffy. No one ever ate cookies, but that didn't stopped Willow. They weren't bad, they were sweet, and everybody still felt bitter in their mouths. And that two flavours should never mix.
- "It's nice that your dad let us to live here", Willow said waiting any kind of reaction from Buffy. She saw Buffy felt down and she wanted to pull her back.
- "Yeah lucky us that he took his secretary in one of the most romantic Europen countries. Again", Buffy answered sarcastically. Buffy always had tight bond with her feather that broke up after he didn't came to her mother's funeral. She always hoped he is going to take her ice skating again. Even Buffy was to old for her feather to take her anywhere, about that part of life she was thinking with the mind of the little kid. Willow smiled sourly.
- "When are you going to visit him?"
- "Who?", Buffy was acting crazy, but she knew about who Willow was talking about. She and Angel were once again in the same town, few streets from each other. She didn't saw him since the last visit in Sunnydale, when they had weird conversation about her relathionship with Spike. Buffy knew Angel is the love of her life. What ever happens, it's always going to be that way. But she couldn't let herself to dream about their happiness, even they had little of it. But that little dose of happiness was better then any feeling she ever felt. Willow looked her significantly when she saw Buffy figured out about who she was talking about.
- "Never", Buffy said with hard voice. She wanted to see Angel again, to feel his touch on her skin. Although he didn't fit in the new normal life she planned to live, in her mind he was already in it. Everybody needs some danger and excitment in their life, especially the person who thought that she don't need that two feelings. "I mean what should I do, come there and say 'Hy Angel, I destroyed Hellmouth, maybe we could make love again so you can loose your soul, so we can put some action in our lives, action I want only because I don't have it anymore'. Willow, he probably has his own life, maybe he has someone..", she stopped after that. She didn't expect that Angel is going to wait for her all these years, but she did hoped. She knew that is unfair, because after him she was the one who looked love in other men. Willow looked at her confused. She knew Buffy will never forget Angel and the way he made her feel. They all knew that. But she was the only one who hoped Buffy will never forget that feeling, because without of him she wouldn't have anything. All her loves and crushes were established on her and Angel's relathionship, and she knew she's never going to keep her man, because she's not used at that kind of love. Willow secretly hoped that all the other feelings will boil and way will be opened for Angel.
- "Buffy, even if he has his own life, I'm sure he would make time for you", Willow was encouraging her, while she was hoping that Buffy and Angel will get what they deserve, some twisted version of normal life. Neither Willow could say anything good about her love accomolishments. Her first boyfriend was a werewolf, her first girlfriend was murdered, and her last love wasn't big, but it went away. But she had an excuse. Kennedy is s potential vampire slayer and she got back to England, because vampires don't choose a place of attack. It looks like love for the people from Sunnydale is not meant to be, and they were all hoping that it's going to change. Buffy lost her words. She didn't had an answer for that statement because she knew Angel would never chase her off. She was the one who was chasing him off. Willow noticed sorrow on her face and she started to feel guilty because she made her feel bad.
- "What do you say if I go with you, as a support", Willow suggested. At first sight that was a perfect idea, that would look like a friendly visit. Maybe she was hoping to much, or she was blinded again by the picture of their happiness. If you can call that happiness. That looked like a british mini show. All is breaking up, then putting back together just like jigsaw, and in the end he always leaved with the open ending for the next part. Maybe the rest of the world who lives normal life that wouldn't call happiness or love, but all she needed was her opinion and conviction that they had something normal, despite the fact he was a vampire, and she the slayer. And people thru the years are using the quote from the movies, books and songs, that love has no limits. And now when all the strange activites are no longer in her life, in her head she created an image of them getting together again. Although she didn't knew why. Why always him? She loves him. But is love really enough? How to live with the knowledge that they are never going to have a normal life? That they are never going to get all the little things? But probably that sacrifice is the whole point. Some kind of test life is giving us to see what we really want.
She notices that Willow is anticipating her answer.
- "No, I think I have to do that alone. If I ever do", she answers to her with a light smile. Willow puts one to, and grabs cookies from the table. She gives them to Buffy, and Buffy didn't have a heart to turn her down.
- "Buffy..", the door opens and Dawn comes in. She acted basshfully and closed, although she was never like that. Buffy raises her look, merrily then usual. Dawn slowly walks to the bed and sits next to Willow.
- "I was thinking, if you want, we could go for a walk tommorrow, to the mall or something", she asked her with the fear in her voice, ready for one big fat no.
Buffy notices fear in her eyes. She was nervously tapping with her foot and skratching one hand with another. She takes her hand and smiles. "Of course I want to go with you", she answers to her. Dawn looks at her, then hugs her. Dawn didn't had problems like Buffy did. She liked her life the way it is. She felt like she has everything she needs. She tried to forget the fact she was a ball of energy, and tried to see herself like she was an ordinary girl, like everybody else saw her. She was still trying to proove herself she belongs there, but she never told anyone what she feels.
- "Willow, do you want to go with us?", Dawn asked her. Willow glanced to Buffy to get her sign of approval, because she was afrid her presence there will ruin the moment between sisters. When she got Buffy's approval, she said yes. Dawn strated to talk how they could go to get something new, because that is what most of the normal girls do. They go shopping. And normal was something they all needed. At least they were trying to convince themselves that.
- "It's nice that your dad let us to live here", Willow said waiting any kind of reaction from Buffy. She saw Buffy felt down and she wanted to pull her back.
- "Yeah lucky us that he took his secretary in one of the most romantic Europen countries. Again", Buffy answered sarcastically. Buffy always had tight bond with her feather that broke up after he didn't came to her mother's funeral. She always hoped he is going to take her ice skating again. Even Buffy was to old for her feather to take her anywhere, about that part of life she was thinking with the mind of the little kid. Willow smiled sourly.
- "When are you going to visit him?"
- "Who?", Buffy was acting crazy, but she knew about who Willow was talking about. She and Angel were once again in the same town, few streets from each other. She didn't saw him since the last visit in Sunnydale, when they had weird conversation about her relathionship with Spike. Buffy knew Angel is the love of her life. What ever happens, it's always going to be that way. But she couldn't let herself to dream about their happiness, even they had little of it. But that little dose of happiness was better then any feeling she ever felt. Willow looked her significantly when she saw Buffy figured out about who she was talking about.
- "Never", Buffy said with hard voice. She wanted to see Angel again, to feel his touch on her skin. Although he didn't fit in the new normal life she planned to live, in her mind he was already in it. Everybody needs some danger and excitment in their life, especially the person who thought that she don't need that two feelings. "I mean what should I do, come there and say 'Hy Angel, I destroyed Hellmouth, maybe we could make love again so you can loose your soul, so we can put some action in our lives, action I want only because I don't have it anymore'. Willow, he probably has his own life, maybe he has someone..", she stopped after that. She didn't expect that Angel is going to wait for her all these years, but she did hoped. She knew that is unfair, because after him she was the one who looked love in other men. Willow looked at her confused. She knew Buffy will never forget Angel and the way he made her feel. They all knew that. But she was the only one who hoped Buffy will never forget that feeling, because without of him she wouldn't have anything. All her loves and crushes were established on her and Angel's relathionship, and she knew she's never going to keep her man, because she's not used at that kind of love. Willow secretly hoped that all the other feelings will boil and way will be opened for Angel.
- "Buffy, even if he has his own life, I'm sure he would make time for you", Willow was encouraging her, while she was hoping that Buffy and Angel will get what they deserve, some twisted version of normal life. Neither Willow could say anything good about her love accomolishments. Her first boyfriend was a werewolf, her first girlfriend was murdered, and her last love wasn't big, but it went away. But she had an excuse. Kennedy is s potential vampire slayer and she got back to England, because vampires don't choose a place of attack. It looks like love for the people from Sunnydale is not meant to be, and they were all hoping that it's going to change. Buffy lost her words. She didn't had an answer for that statement because she knew Angel would never chase her off. She was the one who was chasing him off. Willow noticed sorrow on her face and she started to feel guilty because she made her feel bad.
- "What do you say if I go with you, as a support", Willow suggested. At first sight that was a perfect idea, that would look like a friendly visit. Maybe she was hoping to much, or she was blinded again by the picture of their happiness. If you can call that happiness. That looked like a british mini show. All is breaking up, then putting back together just like jigsaw, and in the end he always leaved with the open ending for the next part. Maybe the rest of the world who lives normal life that wouldn't call happiness or love, but all she needed was her opinion and conviction that they had something normal, despite the fact he was a vampire, and she the slayer. And people thru the years are using the quote from the movies, books and songs, that love has no limits. And now when all the strange activites are no longer in her life, in her head she created an image of them getting together again. Although she didn't knew why. Why always him? She loves him. But is love really enough? How to live with the knowledge that they are never going to have a normal life? That they are never going to get all the little things? But probably that sacrifice is the whole point. Some kind of test life is giving us to see what we really want.
She notices that Willow is anticipating her answer.
- "No, I think I have to do that alone. If I ever do", she answers to her with a light smile. Willow puts one to, and grabs cookies from the table. She gives them to Buffy, and Buffy didn't have a heart to turn her down.
- "Buffy..", the door opens and Dawn comes in. She acted basshfully and closed, although she was never like that. Buffy raises her look, merrily then usual. Dawn slowly walks to the bed and sits next to Willow.
- "I was thinking, if you want, we could go for a walk tommorrow, to the mall or something", she asked her with the fear in her voice, ready for one big fat no.
Buffy notices fear in her eyes. She was nervously tapping with her foot and skratching one hand with another. She takes her hand and smiles. "Of course I want to go with you", she answers to her. Dawn looks at her, then hugs her. Dawn didn't had problems like Buffy did. She liked her life the way it is. She felt like she has everything she needs. She tried to forget the fact she was a ball of energy, and tried to see herself like she was an ordinary girl, like everybody else saw her. She was still trying to proove herself she belongs there, but she never told anyone what she feels.
- "Willow, do you want to go with us?", Dawn asked her. Willow glanced to Buffy to get her sign of approval, because she was afrid her presence there will ruin the moment between sisters. When she got Buffy's approval, she said yes. Dawn strated to talk how they could go to get something new, because that is what most of the normal girls do. They go shopping. And normal was something they all needed. At least they were trying to convince themselves that.