Everyone has their Demons.

[Last Watcher]

Another short story. This one will be the intro piece to a longer story I'm currently writing.

Ever wondered what Tara got up to in the years before she met Willow? (Set early in S3 - Just after Revelations I guess).

Everyone has their Demons
Tara sat alone at the Bar, idly watching the other patrons reflected in the mirror between the brightly coloured bottles behind the bar. Tara sipped at her fruit juice & sighed. She didn't drink, the only reason she was here was just as an act of rebellion. Like coming here to Sunnydale to attend college. Her Family was dead against it, but she came anyway, just to prove that there was still a small part of her life she had some control over. Well, until her next Birthday changed everything that is.
The Females of her family were afflicted with a curse, one that meant she would become a Demon on her next Birthday & would have to spend the rest of her life in the care of the Man her Father had arranged for her to marry, to prevent her from hurting innocent people.
That was why she had started delving into Magic in the hope of finding a cure, or some way to put off the inevitable. So far though she had failed to find any spell or potion that even came close to giving her hope she could rid herself of the curse. Until that time though, she was determined to have as normal a life as possible...only things weren't going too well there either.

She looked at all the tables where couples sat drinking & laughing together, sometimes touching, sometimes kissing. Then she glanced at her place at the bar. Although the other end was quite crowded with people buying drinks or just hanging out, at her end there was just her, on her own. It was as if she had an invisible barrier around her complete with 'keep out' signs. No one had come near her all evening. Was this a normal life? It certainly didn't look like it from all the other girls in the Bar. They all had groups of friends around them, or a Boyfriend snuggling close. Tara had neither, not here, or even at college. There was no-one she knew that she would call a friend. She had always been alone.
At school she had been bullied because of her stutter, that was until she had found she could read peoples Aura's. That meant she could tell when someone was fixing to be mean to her giving her time to get out of their way.
Now she just seemed to drift through life on her own. She knew her stutter didn't help, but whenever she was near a guy she just felt cold, okay so she had no idea how she was meant to feel around a guy, but it just didn't feel right. The Magazines said that when the right Guy came along she would know, that love would hit her like a punch in the gut, but so far it hadn't so much as given her a light tap on the shoulder. She was beginning to think that love was going to be another thing that she would never know.
Do Demons feel love?

She sighed again & took another sip of her drink. I think I'm done rebelling now. Time to head back to my dorm & curl up with a Cocoa & a book. Who needs a Boyfriend anyway? If they are anything like my idiot of a Brother I'm better off without one!
She tried to sound convincing in her head but another glance around at all the happy looking Girls snuggling up with their men didn't help prove her point.

She was just about to shove her glass across the Bar & head on out, when a Dark haired Girl came & flopped down on the barstool right next to her, threw some bills on the counter & ordered two bottles of beer. The Bartender looked like he was going to refuse, or at least ID her, but then seemed to think better of it & just handed the beer over, took the money & retreated back down the other end of the bar.
The Girl lifted one of the bottles to her mouth, tipped her head back & chugged nearly the whole lot back in one hit. Moments later the empty bottle was back on the bar & the Girl had started on the second one.
Tara couldn't believe what she was seeing. Didn't this strange Girl realise she had wandered into Tara's 'Dead zone'? Hadn't she seen the signs? And what was with the Beer? Tara didn't even realise Girls could drink Beer. Wasn't there rules about that sort of thing? And this Girl was drinking it like water.
For a second Tara thought that maybe she had made a mistake & it wasn't a Girl at all, but a quick glance up & down dispelled that notion. It was definitely a Girl, & a rather beautiful one at that.
Distracted by the fast disappearing Beer, it took a moment for Tara to notice the Girl's Aura, but when she did she couldn't take her eyes off it. She had never seen one like it before & it almost made her cry just to look at it. She had seen the Aura's of people lonely, sad, or hurting before. But this one was all of them, to the max. How could someone hurting so bad even function?

The colour of a persons Aura changed depending on their mood. From a red meaning they are happy, through to a blue colour when they are sad. Tara often wondered if the phrase 'feeling blue' was coined by someone who could see & read auras?
This Girl sitting next to her, trying to attract the Barman's attention, had an aura that was so dark blue it was almost black, & the way it wrapped around her told Tara that this wasn't new. This aura was like a second skin, a shield around the girl. It was part of her, who she was. Tara tried to imagine what could have happened in this Girl's life to make her hurt so much & how she could survive like that.

The Girl finally succeeded in getting the Bartender to serve her again & ordered two more bottles of Beer. Again, the Bartender hesitated & didn't look happy, but served her anyway & retreated down the far end again as fast as he could.
The Girl reached out & pulled the two bottles towards her, but then hesitated a moment before pushing one of them over in front of Tara.
Without even glancing in her direction the Woman spoke in a deep gravelly voice that made her insides tingle.
"If you're gonna sit & stare at me all night you might as well have a drink with me too!"
"I d-don't drink alcohol." Said Tara, her face going red. She hadn't realised she was staring, or that the Girl had noticed her at all. Most people didn't seem to register her presence even if she spoke directly to them.
The Girl finally turned her head to look at her & the eyes matched the Aura. They were the eyes of someone dead inside. She recoiled for a moment before regaining her nerve. Her natural empathy made her speak out.
"Are you okay?"
"Five-by-five!" Said the girl reaching over & retrieving the bottle from in front of Tara.
"I, um, d-don't know what that means?"
The Girl looked at her again, her head tilted slightly to the side.
"You a social worker or something?"
"Um no, I go to College here in Sunnydale & I'm part Demon!"
Tara had no idea why she had added the last part, she had just blurted it out like a crazy person. The Girl was going to think I'm mad & leave. And why does the idea of her leaving make me feel sad?
Tara was broken from her thoughts by a snort. She looked up from under her hair to see the Girl staring hard at her.
"Well I'm a Slayer!" Was all she said.
"I don't know what that means either?" Said Tara looking down again. She couldn't look into those eyes as they bored into her like that.
"Well that's good. Because if you did I would have to kill you!" She grated.
Tara risked a glance up at those eyes & the look she saw made her realise the Woman was deadly serious. There was danger in those eyes. The look of a predator, a hunter. She swallowed hard, wondering why she had been singled out for attention. Did this Girl see her as the weak one of the herd, the easy prey?
Even though her eyes warned of danger her Aura showed no sign of imminent attack. Slowly, Tara started to relax, a bit.
"You drinking here alone?"
Okay, so that question ratcheted up the fear factor again. Tara just nodded, her voice didn't want to work at all now.
"Sucks to be alone don't it?"
The Girl took another long pull on her beer & another empty bottle joined it's friends on the bar. As she had said that her Aura had gone completely black, like a hole in the space around her. Even though she knew nothing about her, Tara's heart ached for this poor Girl.
Whatever had happened in her past, it had nearly broken her, would have broken someone less strong willed.....
"Faith!" The Girl said turning on her barstool to face towards her.
"Erm, I'm a W-Wiccan!" She said, wondering why she wanted to know.
The Girl looked at her like she was crazy, again!
"My name. Faith!" She grated.
"Oh! Sorry. B-beautiful name!" She spluttered. As the Girl's eyes flashed anger she quickly added.
"I'm Tara. Nice to m-meet you!"
Faith snorted & shook her head with a wry smile.
"You're a strange one Tara!"
She took another long pull on her beer before waving the Bartender over to set her up with two more.
"Ever been in love Tara?"
The question cut to her very soul. She had never known a guy well enough to call him a friend, the very idea of being in love with someone was so alien she wouldn't know what it felt like if it walked up to her & punched her on the nose, or even in the gut!
Still reeling inside, all she could do was shake her head. Faith seemed to realise she had struck a nerve & sighed.
"Stay that way Girlfriend. Love is a killer, it eats you up inside & spits you out raw & hurting!"
The raw pain in her voice & the way her Aura pulsed Black as she spoke told Tara she spoke from experience. A really, really bad experience.
"What did he do?"
Tara's instincts told her she probably really didn't want to know, but her feelings of wanting to help this poor Woman overruled her apprehension.
"He was a she & she didn't do nothing!" Said Faith sadly.
At Tara's confused frown she chuckled mirthlessly.
"I tried. I really tried not to let my feelings get in the way of our work. But I was weak. I fell for her. So hard I couldn't think straight. Like a complete loser I kept doing things to impress her, make her notice me, but everything I did just drove her further away until now, she's got to hating me!"
"Oh!" Was all Tara could think of to say.
She had never met a Gay Woman before. She had no idea what she thought one would be like, but this really wasn't it. With her ultra Conservative upbringing she probably wouldn't have been surprised by horns & cloven feet, but actually she was really beautiful, and well, normal. It made her realise she needed to seriously reassess her view on what a Lesbian really was.
"Never fall for a straight chick! She'll rip your heart out & trample it in front of you!"
Faith drained another bottle & sent it sliding over to join the ever increasing collection of empties.

As the alcohol finally started having an effect on her she began telling Tara about this Woman called Bea & how their relationship had gone from good to bad, finally being finished off by a Woman called Post who had turned Faith & all her friends against each other, to the point where Faith & Bea had been trying to kill each other. Tara didn't understand a lot of what she said & thought that maybe some of it might just have been the beer talking, but the intensity of her gaze made her suspect that this Girls life revolved around violence & that the Monsters
she talked about were all too real. To her anyway!

They stayed there, talking about their lives, & how much they sucked, until time for the Bronze to close came around & the Bar stopped serving drinks. Faith managed to get one more bottle, for the road, & announced she was going home.
It was now that Tara realised just how drunk Faith was as she slid off her barstool & had to cling onto Tara to avoid collapsing onto the floor. It was also around this point that she noticed the two guys watching them from over by the door. Well they weren't watching her to be exact, no one did that after all, they were watching Faith & whispering to each other, big feral grins on their faces.
At first Faith insisted she could walk just fine & didn't need any help, but after staggering into the Bar twice & knocking over one of the Barstools Tara wrapped an arm around her waist & started leading her unsteadily towards the door.

Although they made a few comments about Faith on the way past, the two Guys didn't get in their way, much to Tara's relief. That relief was to be short lived though as, just after they got outside, the two goons showed up again & started following them.
Egging each other on the two of them made ever more crude remarks about Faith until one sidled up beside them & leaned in close.
"Hey babe, why don't you lose your Mom here & come party with us?"
"Really don't need this right now." Slurred Faith still leaning heavily on Tara.
As they kept on walking the other Guy came & started walking backwards in front of them, leering at Faith's chest.
"Come on Ladies, don't be shy. Me & my bud here can show you a real good time, whaddaya say, huh?"
"I don't mess with children!" Grunted Faith, ignoring him.
"Hey! I don't think you understand. We are aargh!" As he spoke the first guy had swept his hand forward & grabbed hold of Faith's ass. In a blur of movement that even took Tara by surprise Faith reached down, grabbed his wrist & twisted it in such a way that he had to go down on one knee in front of her to avoid getting his arm broken. She held him there as his face twisted in pain.
"Listen Buttnugget. It's you that don't understand. If you and your Boyfriend don't get outta my face right now I will rip this arm right off & beat you to death with the wet end."
He started to protest but Faith twisted his arm further & a slight cracking noise made him scream.
"You understand now?" Grated Faith, her voice dripping with menace.
"Hey! What do you think you're fu...."
The second Guy had started to move towards them now, but just as quickly as she had moved before, Faith let go of the first guy's arm, put a hand in the middle of his chest & shoved him hard at his buddy. He hit the other guy in the legs & they both ended up in a heap on the floor.
For a moment the second guy looked like he was going to come back for more, but his buddy, still nursing his arm, said something & they both ran off shouting something about crazy psychos
Faith leaned heavily on Tara & sighed.
"Sorry about that B. Stupid fratboys. Animals the lot of them!"
Tara didn't actually notice that Faith called her B. She was still stunned at how strong Faith seemed to be. She was so drunk she could barely walk, yet she had still fought off that big strong guy with one arm, as if it was no big deal. Perhaps there was something to her stories about fighting monsters after all?
For all her strength, the fight seemed to have taken it's toll on her. She was nearly asleep on he feet. Tara needed to get her home before she had to be carried the rest of the way.
"Faith, we need to get you home. Where do you live?"
"I sent you away! Why did I do that? Why did I send you away?"
"What?"
"You came to see me & I sent you away....I'm so sorry B!"
Tara remembered that Faith called the Girl she was in love with Bea.
"I'm not Bea, I'm Tara. remember? Now we need to get you home....where do you live?"
"Motel...."
"Motel? You live in a Motel?"
"It's classy joint!" Slurred Faith, tapping the side of her nose.
The only Motel Tara knew about was a seedy dive right over the other side of Town. If that was where she really lived, well there was no way Faith was going to be able to walk all the way over there & definitely no chance Tara could carry her that far. She couldn't even put her in a Taxi. Faith had spent all her money & Tara only had a few dollars left and that was her lunch money for the next couple of days.
Tara let out a long sigh, suddenly wishing she could go back to being the person no-one noticed instead of chaperone to a very drunk...whatever she was!

She looked at the Girl, virtually falling asleep on her shoulder. There was no way she could leave her there & no way for her to get home. There was only one option left. Her own Dorm room was only a short walk from there, much more manageable.
"Come on. You can stay over at my place tonight!"
Faith tilted her head to look at Tara, one eyebrow raised over unfocussed eyes.
"I like a Girl who knows what she wants!"
She pulled a sad face.
"But I'm sorry babe, I don't do chicks no more. Not since B..."
Tara suddenly realised what Faith thought she was suggesting.
"No I...um...Y-you've...I only..." She spluttered as her brain did a backflip.
Totally misunderstanding her bluster Faith tried to stand up straight & slapped a hand on Tara's shoulder.
"Don't get me wrong, you're a fine looking woman and all, but you're not B....y'know?"
With all kinds of strange feelings competing for attention it took her a minute to calm herself enough to speak.
"That's not what I meant Faith. You're too drunk to walk home so I'm offering you a place to stay till you sober up, that's all."
"Oh right....Just a place to crash."
Faith nodded as she spoke, but the knowing grin made Tara think she still wasn't at all convinced.
"Let's go then, Girl who isn't tryin to get in my pants!" Slurred Faith, waving an arm out & nearly toppling over.
Asking herself again what she had let herself in for, Tara hauled Faith upright again & steered her as best she could in the general direction of the College Dorms.

It took some doing, as twice Faith decided she needed to go back to the Bar for more drinks, but Tara finally got her back to her Dorm room. She propped Faith up against the wall while she fished out her key. Then, once the door was open, had to haul Faith back to her feet after she sat down 'to rest for a bit'.

Once inside Tara sat her down on the bed & propped her up with a pillow while she went to get her a glass of water.
"Here drink this!" She said, carefully holding the glass up to Faith's mouth.
"Ugh! Water! What are you trying to do to me? Got any Jack?"
"No I haven't, and you've had enough alcohol for one night don't you think? Now drink!"
Faith grumbled incoherently but drank most of the water.
"I have to pee!" She announced, lurching up from the bed & promptly collapsing in a heap on the floor.
When it looked like she might be intending going right there, Tara grabbed her & half steered, half carried her into the bathroom.
Once there she had to help her undo her pants & pull them down, something that made her experience a whole range of new weird feelings she had never felt before. The task wasn't made any easier by Faith's sniggering innuendos & the fact she wasn't wearing any underwear.
She finally managed to get Faith back in her pants, without doing any of the crude things Faith suggested, not that she knew what half of them meant anyway, and got her sat back on the bed.
"Right. Now lay down & try & get some sleep!" She said, lifting Faith's legs up onto the bed & twisting her round so her head was somewhere near the pillow.
Faith was still for only a moment before she sat back up & started trying to get up off the bed.
"I should go....We need to patrol!"
Tara sighed & gently pushed her back down onto the bed.
"You can barely walk, let alone patrol anything. Sleep first, then you can patrol!"
Faith grumbled a bit but didn't try to get up any more as Tara removed her heavy boots & covered her with a blanket.
She sat down on the edge of the bed & looked down at the troubled girl.
"Try & get some sleep Faith. You drank way too much, I think you are going to regret it in the morning!"
"I always regret it in the morning." Mumbled Faith, "Don't stop me doing it though...."
She surged upright, reached out & pulled Tara into her arms. Before Tara knew what was happening Faith captured her lips in a passionate kiss.
Tara's brain stalled as waves of sensation pulsed through her body triggering feelings she had never in her life felt before. She lifted her arms to push herself away but she felt as weak as a kitten & only succeeded in holding on as Faith's tongue slipped into her mouth setting off another barrage of new sensations.
In the end it was Faith who broke the kiss, leaning back slightly & licking her lips, her eyes were closed & her hair all mussed but Tara had never seen anyone so beautiful.
Faith took a deep breath & chuckled.
"Yeah, probably gonna regret that too!" She flopped back down on the pillow, "G'night B!"
Almost instantly she was asleep & snoring, but Tara hardly noticed. Her brain was still looping on the kiss.

It was some time before she pulled herself together enough to move from the bed to the armchair as she went through in her head all the strange new feelings the kiss had set off. Ever the analytical one, she knew she would have to give this some serious thought.
She pulled a blanket down from the back of the chair & wrapped it around herself as she got comfortable.
It was going to be a long night.

By the time it started getting light Tara had looked at whole sections of her life with new eyes. From the drunk boy that had kissed her at her Brother's Birthday party, leaving her cold, to how she felt about the Female lead in her favourite TV show.
Now, as she looked at the sleeping Woman in her bed (And even saying that in her head started the tingles in her stomach again), she realised she wanted more, wanted to be kissed like that again. Okay, so she knew that kiss wasn't meant for her. Faith thought she was kissing this girl Bea she is in love with (Lucky girl!), but if kissing a girl always feels like that.....
Her Father once said that falling in Love was a fantasy that only happens in fairy tales & trashy movies, real life isn't like that.
That in time you will learn to love the man you marry, as long as you're willing to work at it.
Since then part of her had been resigned to that being all life had in store for her, but does it really have to be like that?
Even as a little girl, when she had dreams about a handsome Prince coming to rescue her from her boring mundane life, it never felt quite right, like it was missing something. She figured it was just that girls like her don't get happy endings.
But could it be something else?
Could it be that I've been looking for love in all the wrong places? Was I really waiting for a Princess?
She had always been 'different' but was she really that different? Life was tough enough as it was.....
She was disturbed from her thoughts by Faith groaning & rubbing her forehead. She was waking up.

"Ugh! What did I drink last night....I feel like shit!" She moaned, sitting up but not opening her eyes.
Tara moved over to the bed & held out a glass of water.
"I think you drank all their beer. Here, drink this water."
Faith grabbed the water & gulped it all down in one before squinting at Tara.
"A chick? Who the hell are you?"
Tara took the now empty glass & put it on the nightstand.
"I'm Tara. We met at the Bronze last night, remember?"
"Oh, right....no, sorry!"
Faith shook her head & then pulled a face. Tara knew her hangover must have been something fierce the amount she had drunk.
"Tara eh?"
"Yes. That's me!
"Sorry Tara. I'm not used to waking up to someone in my room. Usually send em packing after we've done the dirty!"
She finally took in her surroundings & frowned.
"Only this isn't my room. Where the hell am I?"
"This is my room, you were too d-drunk to walk to yours."
"Wow! you must have impressed me. Don't normally get jiggy in other peoples beds!"
"We d-didn't.....I'm not...." She spluttered as she realised what Faith was implying.
Faith stared at her, frowning, head tilted slightly to the side.
"You sure? You certainly give off a vibe."
Tara shook her head, though after last night she wasn't as sure anymore.
"Besides, you said you d-didn't, um, sleep with Women any more, not since you f-fell for that girl you kept talking about..."
Faith's eyes flashed danger & Tara instantly regretted mentioning the girl.
"So, what else did I say last night then?" Faith swung her legs off the bed & sat up, running both hands through her hair.
"Not m-much!" Lied Tara.
Faith looked up & her bloodshot eyes bored into her like laser-beams. Once again Tara got the impression this Woman could kill her easily. It in equal parts terrified & intrigued her & that was something else she would have to think long & hard about.
"Only that some Woman had come to town & turned you against each other, then when this girl came to see you afterwards you sent her away b-but now you regret doing it!"
Faith had said a lot more, but Tara hoped this would be enough to allow her to change the subject.
She stood there while Faith glared at her for what seemed an eternity before sighing & running a hand through her hair again.
"Well sounds like I was drunk & talking shit. Forget all what I said, doesn't mean squat!"
She started pulling on her boots mumbling to herself about needing to be more careful.
Tara couldn't help herself & spoke before her inner filter could stop her.
"Faith, what is a Slayer?"
Faith's head snapped up & she glared at Tara again. It was several seconds before Faith answered, her voice low & dangerous.
"That's something else you need to forget about if you know what's good for you!"
She stood up ,but immediately sat back down again holding her head.
"Ugh! Haven't felt this bad since....." She looked up at Tara again, "So what exactly did I do last night then?"
Tara did her best to describe the way things went, leaving out most of the stuff Faith had told her, finishing with how she had been so drunk she could hardly walk & how Tara had brought her back to her Dorm rather than attempt to walk her all the way across town in that state.
Suddenly Faith checked her pockets & swore.
"It's all gone! Did I spend all the cash I had on me last night?"
Tara nodded.
"Y-you only just had enough for the last bottle of beer you bought!"
Faith shut her eyes & groaned again.
"Oh great. That was my rent money!" She pulled a face, "Oh that's just great. Might have to actually give that greasy slob of an owner what I promised this time!"
Tara just stood there. She wasn't sure what Faith meant by that but judging by her mood it wasn't washing his car.
"Guess I've got you to thank for not waking up dead in a gutter somewhere then...?"
"Well I wasn't going to just leave you there now was I?"
"Why not? Wasn't your problem!"
Faith's question made her think back again. Why had she gone out of her way to help this Girl she had only just met? Would she have done the same if it had been a Guy? She was still churning this over in her head when Faith rose up again & this time stayed, unsteadily, on her feet.
"Well thanks anyway. Now I need to get gone." She peered out of the window. "Now how do I get back to town from here?"
Tara gave her directions out of the College grounds & back towards town.
As Faith opened the door & started to leave she hesitated & turned back to face Tara, openly looking her up & down.
"So last night, we didn't get pelvic then?"
Tara's shook her head, face blazing bright red.
"Pity!"
With that she was gone, leaving Tara awash with strange feelings & a whole lot of questions....

The end.......for now!