2 of Lifes Problems

[Xander]

Hey ho. I'm normally happy go lucky, and still am. This thread may make it seem as if I feel I have big problems in my life but I don't but you know what they say, a problem shared is a problem halved (that shared with one person, cause if so I have the potential to 32th my problem).

Anyway two little problems/situations, whatever you want to call them:

1. Friendship Circles

At college I have a nice small group of friends who I like, but recently I have made friends with a whole other circle of friends who I really like. Now the problem is sometimes I have to chose between which to hang out with, I tend to hang out with the old-friend people because well, they've been friends for longer. Lately though I'm getting kinda bored of them, they don't interest me anymore. It sounds harsh because they're such lovely people but hmm.

Now the problem is my best friend is within that group. I still like her, but again getting kinda bored. Shes such a nice person, and has been there for me loads (well when I needed, again I'm a happy-go-lucky person) over the last 4 years and I'd feel guilty for just abandoning her. Plus last year we made friends with someone, and this year he just up-and-left because he got a girlfriend. I still talk to him, I have a lesson with him, and he still likes me but he just left and it made my best friend feel really rejected. I don't want to do that to her but I do on the other hand.

So just wondering, whats everyone's take on this, what do you think I should do? I'm so unsure about whats the best choice.

2. University

I start University in September, hopefully at Warwick. I have an open day there tomorrow so I'm going to go there before I make any major decisions but I don't feel like going to uni. I'm just not in the mood. I think I've become comfortable in my rut at college and I really like it. However, I feel like just staying on at college for another year and just doing Graphics, as its one of my biggest regrets (not doing it that is). I've heard though that you have to do at least two 'blocks' so I'm gonna check that out. Also gonna see if I can still defer my entry into uni even though I've had all the offers and such, because I don't want to be paying those top-up-fees.

Anyway sorry for getting all melodrama and I appreciate (and admire) anyone who was willing to read and respond to that epic rant.

 

[eponinethen]

Hmm, the friends thing.. I kinda did that less than a year ago. I had this group of friends that I liked and had fun with but.. yea.. I got bored. And I started hanging out with other people instead. They were quite different.. and I don't spend that much time with either of those groups of people these days, but still, I'm really glad I did what I felt like at that time. I'm not saying it has to work the same way for you.. but if you stay with people you don't really feel comfortable with.. that can make you get really annoyed with them and ruin things for real.. Which could be worse.. as least as I see it..

 

[Faldor]

if you hang out with more people it dosent mean you don't see them any more.

i've been in this situation and my "friends" gave me shà­t for hanging out with other people. when we left school they all abanoned me without second thought.

also i've been good mates with people who havent had time for me because they want to spend time with people they got on with less simply because they've known them longer.

i've got some great friends i've known since way back. i got some people who i click with so well and who know me better then i know myself who i've only just met recently

friends come and go. don't push people away cos you only just met them and dont limit yourself.

you CAN mix your mates you know, it may be odd at first but it just leads to further goodness.

 

[Jenny]

Oh dear, two tricky situations.

The friendship thing...I think it's natural to gain new friends, fall out of touch with old ones...things change as you change as a person. As Faldor said..you don't have to completely stop hanging out with one group because you have some new ones. Sometimes...two groups of friends will get along and can hang occasionally. The only advice I have is don't feel guilty by ANY means...sorry I have nothing better for you!

As for Uni - our system is very different from yours so I may be missing something, but I think it's normal to not be completely psyched until maybe the day gets closer. My advice would be to go to the open day...and hopefully that will pique your interest a little more. 🙂

 

[jayj]

The getting bored thing happens with me too, but mostly when I'm spending TOO much time with the same people. For me, that's when I tend to want to spend time with friends that I haven't seen in a while. I suppose that in my case, when I'm hanging out with the same people continuously, I run out of things to talk about or we come to a stalemate trying to figure out what to do. (Note: I'm not the greatest of conversationalists out there.)

Anyhow, do you still plan on hanging out with your best friend once in a while? 'Cause if you do then you won't really be abandoning her. You'd just be meeting up less often. I mean, I'd rather see an old friend once in a blue moon instead of never again. But that's just me. Well, hope it works out somehow and that it's not too stressful for you.

 

[Xander]

you CAN mix your mates you know, it may be odd at first but it just leads to further goodness.

Nah they had each other, for good reasons.

Thanks for the advice everyone, I think I may have found an answer to the first one with the second. Jenny I went to the open day for the uni I was really wanting to go to today and I was like "eh". I just wasn't interested in doing the course, going to the uni (although it was a great uni) etc. So I think I may do a third year at college, but gotta sort all that out.

jayj I might still hang out with my best friend, but I havn't really though about you know, timetabling friendship.

 

[ana8]

Can only comment on uni thing..as I'm not good with friends stuff at the moment either

If you entered through UCAS it'll be pretty hard to get unis to change their offers to you as it'd meant another assessment of your aplication.

Ohh btw..could you tell me how those open days look like and how it was in Warrick either here or by pm?? would be v.grateful

 

[Xander]

I'll tell you here.

The uni is a really great place. Its large, its like its own little town but I'm sure you'll get used to it. There was lots going on (specifically sky diving and trampolining) and lots of nice bars, study areas etc. The library looked really good, and the dorms were decent. In the one we went into (the "Rootes Building") the bedroom was medium sized, had its own sink and broadband intenet connection. Anyway, I really suggest the uni but the thing thats put me off is the course, I just don't like it.

I was looking over the film & tv course I applied for at Derby. It sounds great, and from when I went there I know there is a lot of choice and flexibility in the course. Theres like 10 modules and you can chose 5 of them. I know you can write to a uni you have applied for and ask them to defer the entry, so I'm going to speak to our college's student services on Monday about it all. Think, *THINK*, I may have sorted it, at least in my head.

 

[Jenny]

I'll tell you here.

The uni is a really great place. Its large, its like its own little town but I'm sure you'll get used to it. There was lots going on (specifically sky diving and trampolining) and lots of nice bars, study areas etc. The library looked really good, and the dorms were decent. In the one we went into (the "Rootes Building") the bedroom was medium sized, had its own sink and broadband intenet connection. Anyway, I really suggest the uni but the thing thats put me off is the course, I just don't like it.

I was looking over the film & tv course I applied for at Derby. It sounds great, and from when I went there I know there is a lot of choice and flexibility in the course. Theres like 10 modules and you can chose 5 of them. I know you can write to a uni you have applied for and ask them to defer the entry, so I'm going to speak to our college's student services on Monday about it all. Think, *THINK*, I may have sorted it, at least in my head.

Aah ok I see now....well I would definitely say study something you are excited, eager, passionate about. Even if you like the subject, but don't like the program at one school...find a similar program somewhere else. School is difficult enough without you being unhappy with your choice or your courses or your profs you know??

Glad you went to the open house though..and let me know what you decide in the end! Good luck hon!

 

[SlayerShel]

I was too busy playing house in college to have any fun 🙁

 

[ana8]

I'll tell you here.

The uni is a really great place. Its large, its like its own little town but I'm sure you'll get used to it. There was lots going on (specifically sky diving and trampolining) and lots of nice bars, study areas etc. The library looked really good, and the dorms were decent. In the one we went into (the "Rootes Building") the bedroom was medium sized, had its own sink and broadband intenet connection. Anyway, I really suggest the uni but the thing thats put me off is the course, I just don't like it.

I was looking over the film & tv course I applied for at Derby. It sounds great, and from when I went there I know there is a lot of choice and flexibility in the course. Theres like 10 modules and you can chose 5 of them. I know you can write to a uni you have applied for and ask them to defer the entry, so I'm going to speak to our college's student services on Monday about it all. Think, *THINK*, I may have sorted it, at least in my head.

Ohh thanx a lot...I got invitation to attend open days in Kent and Keele..but sadly I can't go..so was just curious how it all looked like..Again thank you Xander

 

[Xander]

You're right Jenny, the course is the most important part. Thats what I like about Derby, they do have prescribed modules but as the teacher said theres about 15 choices and you pick 5. So basically you can focus on the industry, the practical side, scriptwriting, whatever you want. Its ace. Plus my ex Head of Dept's friend is doing the course and says its ace.

Anyway, another little twist in the friends ummm storyline (why not use TV metaphors eh?) One of my friends told me my best friend isn't happy that I have made friends with the people at the back of the bus (the group of new friends I was talking about). But I saw her today and its not like she was any different, so she's just gonna be unhappy and silent about it I guess. Can live with that.

However, she did state she is now going to sit at the front of the bus, whereas before she was toward the back so I could sit between the two. Now I have to kinda chose and hmm might sit near her at the front for Thursday and Friday (not in tomorrow) but to be fair she listens to music for the whole time and we don't talk. I dunno, I'll "play it by ear" as the phrase goes.

 

[Jenny]

You're right Jenny, the course is the most important part. Thats what I like about Derby, they do have prescribed modules but as the teacher said theres about 15 choices and you pick 5. So basically you can focus on the industry, the practical side, scriptwriting, whatever you want. Its ace. Plus my ex Head of Dept's friend is doing the course and says its ace.

That sounds awesome...and if it's right what you want...sounds like you can't lose there!!! 🙂

Anyway, another little twist in the friends ummm storyline (why not use TV metaphors eh?) One of my friends told me my best friend isn't happy that I have made friends with the people at the back of the bus (the group of new friends I was talking about). But I saw her today and its not like she was any different, so she's just gonna be unhappy and silent about it I guess. Can live with that.

Oh dear..I know it can be hard..but this friend sounds kinda selfish?

However, she did state she is now going to sit at the front of the bus, whereas before she was toward the back so I could sit between the two. Now I have to kinda chose and hmm might sit near her at the front for Thursday and Friday (not in tomorrow) but to be fair she listens to music for the whole time and we don't talk. I dunno, I'll "play it by ear" as the phrase goes.

Tough call on that one but does sound like a good compromise...good luck with that!

 

[Xander]

Oh dear..I know it can be hard..but this friend sounds kinda selfish?

Its just cause shes more hardheaded than selfish really. Shes very strongly opinionated which is fine, but im extremly laid back (as I was told by 3 of my teachers last week), thats why I think I can get on with these other people and she can't. I know one or two of them are really loud and bubbly and that could get annoying but im not fussed, plus I've met them outside of the bus and they're fine.

I've got to talk to one of these people tomorrow, so I might sit toward the back. I'll just let everyone get on before me at the bus stop and hopefully fill up the spaces. I'll just see what happens, let it flow naturally. Oh I dunno, I woke up like 1/2 an hour ago, too relaxed to worry about it.

Thanks for all the help and suggestions guys, been great. Especially you Jenny 😀 But then again, you are the Buffy to my Angel 😉

 

[Jenny]

Its just cause shes more hardheaded than selfish really. Shes very strongly opinionated which is fine, but im extremly laid back (as I was told by 3 of my teachers last week), thats why I think I can get on with these other people and she can't. I know one or two of them are really loud and bubbly and that could get annoying but im not fussed, plus I've met them outside of the bus and they're fine.

Aaah gotcha now...and you're like Switzerland in all of this 😀

I've got to talk to one of these people tomorrow, so I might sit toward the back. I'll just let everyone get on before me at the bus stop and hopefully fill up the spaces. I'll just see what happens, let it flow naturally. Oh I dunno, I woke up like 1/2 an hour ago, too relaxed to worry about it.

Never hurts to leave it to chance/fate/what have you! 😀 😀 Then, nobody can blame you - and you won't feel akward 😀

Thanks for all the help and suggestions guys, been great. Especially you Jenny 😀 But then again, you are the Buffy to my Angel 😉

🙂 This is sooo true! 🙂 Anytime hon glad to help or even just listen! 🙂