A funny for disenchanted Mums...

Kali

Dr. Ogyn - Dorm pride!!
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
716
Age
56
Location
Bristol, UK
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.They will also attend cubs, brownies, sea cadets or similar.
There is no fast food.

Each man must: take care of his 3 children, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, also, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to A & E

He must also make gingerbread men or choc chip cakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal pain, persistent lower back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings, but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, concerts & plays, church, and find time at least once a week, to spend the afternoon in the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will
be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size, teachers name, best friends name and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, time of birth, and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called Mother.
 
S
Slayergal
I couldn't help but laugh when I read this!
S
Spirit_Of_Fred
[No message]
Professor Walsh
Professor Walsh
Old, but haha nonetheless. Even if my hubby would actually perform excellently.
It sounds abit man-angry. I like men. But, yeah, go sister!
 
Are you still in the stone age? Yes, it´s a funny little bit. Most definitely. But is there any truth to that nowdays? Ok, if the papers are telling the truth (like they can do from time to time) we´re one of the best countries (at least in Europe) when it comes to equality. We could even be the best but I wouldn´t bet my life on it. The men does nothing? Does the men ever take parental leave for example?

And read a book in the morning? Why?

And I don´t know about you. But here I´m guessing a lot of todays mothers would fail in trying to do all those things too. Not just the men. Would I manage all of that? Nope. I´d fail even if I just had to remember the birthdays...

Does it sound like I´m defending the male gender? I´m not. Mothers/females rule! 😀
 
S
StuckinTraffic
More true than not in my house, too, actually!
Are you still in the stone age? Yes, it´s a funny little bit. Most definitely. But is there any truth to that nowdays?

Sadly, in this house, yes.

And read a book in the morning? Why?

To keep them amused without the need for TV or computers for 20 minutes?

Does it sound like I´m defending the male gender? I´m not. Mothers/females rule! 😀

Damned right we do!
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Edit:
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It sounds abit man-angry. I like men. But, yeah, go sister!



No, just housework/unpaid personal assistant angry! Men have their uses...
 
But is there any truth to that nowdays? Ok, if the papers are telling the truth (like they can do from time to time) we´re one of the best countries (at least in Europe) when it comes to equality.
It's not about equality, it's about gender roles. Same as the gender roles assigned to and for men by society.
 
K
Kali
Woot! You go sistah!
You'd like Jan, she says she feels like a robot worker, completing her daily duties. And sometimes she's allowed out at the weekends, maybe, if she's been a good house-robo.
 
Well, I did say I have technosexual tendencies. Maybe it's my inner female Bender Geek coming to the surface. Course this bot needs to sleep occasionally.....
 
To keep them amused without the need for TV or computers for 20 minutes?
So is that 20 minutes/kid or 20 minutes for all kids? And it´s better to read than getting our things done at the same time? You see that I´m definitely not a father right? 😉

It's not about equality, it's about gender roles. Same as the gender roles assigned to and for men by society.
Call it what ever you like. We do help out/do a lot of the things mentioned in the first post. Could we be better? Most definitely. Mostly I´m ashamed over how things are.
 
Skanky Vamp
Skanky Vamp
no, your words were good.. like i said it would just be picking apart when there is no need. you are a goody and not in need of a lesson :)
So is that 20 minutes/kid or 20 minutes for all kids? And it´s better to read than getting our things done at the same time? You see that I´m definitely not a father right? 😉

No, you read AND get things done at the same time. That's where my extra Kali Goddess arms come in real handy. Plus the sword - great for slicing bread 😉
 
Washburne
Washburne
Read and do something else at the same time? Ehh, that´s more than one thing at once right? Yeah, so not a male thing to do... At best I can walk and read at the same time. ;)
Call it what ever you like. We do help out/do a lot of the things mentioned in the first post. Could we be better? Most definitely. Mostly I´m ashamed over how things are.
Okay.. just did not want to confuse the two issues between gender roles and equality. I could pick apart one of your sentences and get into a lengthy debate, but I would rather not; my only reason for responding we have since cleared up so I am good. Besides! you got me in the Christmas spirit this morning so I owe ya one lol
 
Washburne
Washburne
So I´m bad with words. At least I´m trying. But if you like you´re welcome to pick apart in pm´s instead. I need to learn. ;)
Sorry, but seriously, why do you have to read to children in the morning? We were never allowed to watch TV in the morning and back in the days when I was growing up almost no one (or at least us) had a computer at home, yet our parents never had to read anything to us. I mean, come on, if it's such an issue that they need to be occupied, wake them up 10 minutes later so they don't have any time to complain about boredom.
 
Skanky Vamp
Skanky Vamp
Reading to you child is not about boredom; its about bilding their vocabulary, listening skills and forming a longer lasting bond with them.
Ah, well, as (presumably) a non parent you would be unaware of the fact you don't wake a 4 year old and an 18 month old up - they wake YOU. At 5.30, 6, 6.30. Not at the time you want. Additionally, when one of your children has Asperger's, you absolutely do NOT want him to get involved with anything stimulating that he will have to watch to the end or play to the end, because you will not get him out of the door without him having a melt down. So a book, with a clear end, but a short duration, is a clever trick, because it keeps them calm, gives them a reward, and is a routine. Most children respond well to that, not just him. So the short answer is because it makes your life easier
 
S
StuckinTraffic
YOU go, sistah!
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