abortion -the big debate?

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carlyh

Slave to angels passion
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well o.k i've benn stumped as what to write for a new post and as there are no really serious issues to debate in this forum i thought i'd start one. what do YOU think about abortion? is it right or wrong? let me know!
i personally have mixed feelings towards this issue, as i believe in a womans right to choose but also the right for a child to live i see it as a compromise for example if a woman was raped, and therefore became pregnant, i think she should be able to abort, also the same if it mediacally puts the women at risk. but i think it is wrong to use abortion as a form of contraceptive, becausae lets face it, to some women it is. if they really didn't want the child why not give this child up for adoption? then the child could have a life and bring happiness to a family otherwise unable to have children. i've had my rant so i'll let you have yours!
 
If a women feels its what she really wants to do i wouldn't arguee unless it was mine in which case it is my buissness and i would arguee but ultamitly its up to her. Dont agree with it but not opposed to it if that makes sense.
 
There is a lot to be looked at on this issue so I fear that this may be a long post 🙂

I agree with Carlyh on the fact that abortion should not be used as a form of contraceptive. This is perhaps a decision that you will only truly be able to make if you were in that situation. Recently in a bid to lower abortion rates the authorities have been thinking of doing a trial run of making the 'morning after pill' available over the counter. While this should not be used as a contraceptive either, but with the idea that if something happens and you think you may have fallen pregnant that this can be taken before the sperm and the egg form the fetus.

There is also the fact to look at that, do you really think that you would be able to provide a good home for the baby, the welfare of the child is paramount. Some women may not be able to go through the full term pregnancy and then give the child away, also they may not want to. It has become the thing now that their career is put before having a family. That is the case for a lot of people, including myself and my friends that i have went through university with.

The element of rape also does come into it. I have had to look at this, as disturbing as it may be. But no woman (and again this is just my own opinion) would want a child as a result of a sexual crime. Also the traits of the child would be unknown as they could belong to the attacker.

Some feel that the father also has a right when it comes to abortion, the courts however tend to favour the female as she is the one that has to carry the child, and it is her life that will be majorly altered. Whether this is right or not remains to be seen.

(ok that was turning into an essay there)
 
I think abortion is right. I mean, what if a woman got raped? And if you do abort then your really aren't killing a child. Your only killing a cell. And what if you know the child would have some kind of disease? Wouldn't it be better in heaven instead of suffering on Earth? And say that some little 11 year old girl got pregnant and decided to abort (hey, it happens..) then that would probably be a good choice since that young of a child can't take care of another child. Also there is adoption. But wouldn't the child be growing up his/her whole life wondering out who his/her real parents were and why they would want to give him/her up?
 
We once got presented with this argument in religious studdies and thics; and although I have reservations about it (if it came to a personal choice I don't know if I'd have the strength to carry it through) I believe in ultimately the right of the woman to choose. We were presented with the scenario of a woman who simply wants an abortion because she's going on a skiing holiday and a pregnanyc would be inconvenient, well then surely it's better for the "child" to not have a parent like that; I firmly believe that some people simply do not deserve to have children (harsh I know but it happens) But ultimately abortion is necessary in cases, and I feel the "mother" should always have the right to choose. (my god I sound so harsh I know, but i hope you all understand what I mean, I know my good friends on here will do 🙂 )
 
I used to be vehemently ant-abortion... until i became a parent. My first born is physically fine, but he is autistic. I don't regret having him and he is very hard work. Despite this, he is my child and i love him. My second child was three months premature. Before that i had the blood test for Downs Syndrome and i tested very highly for it (1 in 12).. so i had an amniocentisis and a detailed scan. She is fine, but my husband and myself talked about the possibility of her being Downs Syndrome and what we would do about it. We came to the decision that if she was Downs, we wouldn't have been able to continue with the pregnancy because we knew we wouldn't have been able to cope with two disabled children (and i applaud all of those who can and do, but that is not me). It was an extremely hard decison, as the ultrasound revealed the baby to be a girl, and i wanted a daughter so much. But my daughter is fine, doesn't have DS and both of my children are the lights of my life.

But my personal view is this: abortion is a woman's right to choose.. no one else's. No man should tell a woman what to do with her own body, they do not have the right, married or not. I upset a lot of people with this view, but my husband understands, agrees and respects it. How would a man feel, if a woman/wife, tells them to do something to their body (or not) that they don't want to do?. I think it works both ways.
 
i guess you can only question a womens' right to decide if you think the man(or the unborn child) has any say in the rights of the unborn child.does a women have a right to decide because its her body?if we could grow pregnancies outside the body would this debate become obselete?is the only reason a women should decide because of the nine months she has to carry the baby or is it more?as a man i need to know how bad is that nine months?if the pregnancy could be shared between male and female would the anti abortion lobby be so strong?
am i talking crap?
at the moment i still think the woman has more right to decide but in a scientifically advanced future?
 
i understand your point charles gunn, if the child was grown OUTSIDE the womb then i think the decision is equal niether had the burden of carrying the child but both contributed to making the child if you know what i mean!
 
It isn't something I could do I don't think... but i know plenty of girls who have had to make the choice, and it certainly isn't an easy one to cope with. I supported friends who decided to have terminations, and have seen the effects it had on them... it would certainly never occur to them to use it as a form of contraception as it has been very emotionally damaging to them.

I also have friends who in hindsight, though they love their kids, think that perhaps they should have had terminations. This is a bit like what Keenangel said. They already had children and didn't know if they could cope with any more (for various reasons from disability to financial concerns and lack of supportive partners). They struggle desperately now, and probably aren't the best mothjers they can be because they have to spend so much time at work or looking after siblings with learning disabilites so that one child is neglected and it isn't fair to them. Also, they have no quality of life themselves... all they do is work, look after the kids and sleep very little.

While I say I would never be able to have an abortion, maybe if I was in a situation like that and another baby was on its way I would reconsider. It is a very hard decision and it is one I pray I never have to make as either way it would tear me up... but ultimately it should be the woman's right to choose as all too often the men don't stick around to face the consequences of their actions (in my friends experiences anyway) and the woamn has to live with it.

A case in point was a friend of a friend who was pressured into an abortion and as she was desperate to keep her man (she was already a mum to a little girl and was afraid of being left alone again) she went to the clinic, had the termination and as she came round he turned up and said that now that was over he was leaving anyway... he just hadn't wanted the financial responsibility of a baby... but he had made it seem to her like they had a chance of staying together and having a family of their own, but at a later date. She had a nevous breakdown and was actually hospitalised to prevent her from harming herself. Her daughter had to be looked after by relations (thankfully she avoided foster care). Ultimately it has to be the womans choice... and I know she still feels terrible for killing her baby. She has since had another child and got married... but she still cries for that child. It is very sad to be in that position.

So... after a huge post... I am just thankful never to have had to make that choice. But I do believe it is the woman's right to choose as everyone's circumstances are different. Walk a mile in my shoes and all that...
 
It depends on the situation but I see nothing wrong with abortions, I have known 2 girls my age who have had one, it was a horrible thing for them to go through and their reasons were mainly because they could in no way support a baby. It may seem as though it was irresponisble but it was an unfortunate thing that happened and it wasn't on purpose in either case, i'm for abortion.
 
Well, I can speak from experience on this one. I was very young, and in a steady relationship, steady in as much as it lasted 3 years. It happened in difficult circumstances - after the funeral of my boyfriends mum, and it was also my first time. Talk about unlucky, and stupid. I got caught in the moment and depsite everything you know it goes out of the window.

I couldn't even tell my mum - had to get my best friends mum to do it for me - I got called all the names you can think of too. You see I was at school at the time, straight A's and all that, and my mum figured I had more sense than to let something like that happen. It doesn't work that way though. Anyway, my decision was made for me - I had no say in the matter, and I had a termination. I was alone, in a room with 2 other women, and when they had visitors on the evening I had none.

I can truly say it was the worst thing I have ever had to go through. I'm 31 now, and have 4 beautiful boys. After my first son was born, that's when it hit me the hardest - it's hard to explain but having him made me realise exactly what I had gone through. It's not something that I am ashamed of, and I know at my age then it was the right thing to do, but there will always be those questions of, 'what if...' Each year I always think, if I had been allowed to keep it she would have been 17 years old this year.

So, what I'm really trying to convey is that, although I could never go through that again, I still think that it is a womans right to choose.🙂 Every situation is different and no-one has the right to judge - like sweetpea said, 'walk a mile in my shoes...'
 
I'm on the fence as usual haha. We did a lot about this in school and I can understand why people might have an abortion and its perfectly logical but I dont agree with it.

In the case of rape, I can understand why people would not want the child, but the child could be put up for adoption, or maybe if the child was born, something postitive would come out of such an awful thing.

I can also see why women might want an abortion if the child is said to have some kind of mental or physical disability, its hard work caring for them, and they could be putting the child out of suffering, but also I think that kids with disabilities can lead very happy and rewarding lives and the tests on the fetis' are not 100% accurate and the child could be born healthy.

I don't really think abortion is right if the child is just an 'inconvience' because the parents have got a responsiblity and could use adoption instead of killing the baby.

I can't really speak from experience and can't imagine what it would be like and if put in some posistion, i probably would consider abortion but at the moment, I don't think I could live with it.
 
I agree that when its necassary abortion should be a choice. Such as with rape or some kind of disorders. Also when the parent knows that they wont be able to support their child I think it might be the right thing to do. People always say to put the child up for adoption but sometimes that can be the worst thing to do. Over the last couple years I have come to know many people that were given away by their parents at birth and they have been going from home to home ever sense. They don't really know what love feels like and they don't have respect for other people. Alot of them I think would rather die then be living the life they are in. I know thats not the case with all adoptions I know alot of them turn out well but there's always the chance that it may not, and that needs to be considered.

Also a couple years back my older sister got pregnant. She is happily married and has 2 kids already and she was very happy to find out that she was going to have another baby. Then later in the pregnancy while the doctors where doing their tests they found that the baby was a girl but they also realized that she would have 4 heart defects, she'd have Downs Syndrome, and she would be born with part of her intestines outside of her body. The docters really wanted her to have an abortion before it was to late. She was so devistated and didn't know what she wanted to do. Her husband stood by her the whole time and supported her telling her it was her choice because she was the one carrying the child, but he'd be with her the whole way. She couldn't give up the child because its just something she couldn't do she loved the child to much and she'd lost a few years back for reasons unknown so I think loosing this child would have destroyed her. Anyhow the doctors really wanted her to give up the child but she refused. When the time came for her to have her baby they had take the baby out through C section sense part of the intestines where outside the body. Well it turns out that the baby had no heart defects and she didn't have downs syndrome. The only thing she's going to have different about her is she isn't going to every have a belly button. Its weird to think that if my sister had followed through with the abortion we wouldn't be able to see this sweet little girl dancing on table tops in fast food restraunts because she likes the music. We would never have gotten a chance to meet such a wonderful child.

So really all I'm saying is abortion should be used when needed but I think that the person that has it done is going to go on remembering and wondering what could have been. I would think and hope that it would be very hard on the person that is giving up their child like that because if they didn't care then they must be truely heartless.
 
first post in a while to say that that story anya told really touched me, brought a tear to my eye for the first time in quite a while 🙁
 
I'm totally with Anya on this one. I, too, got pregnant my first time (and at that, it lasted--literally, not exaggerating here--20 seconds and we had a condom!). I never thought I would even question having an abortion, but it just goes to show that you don't know your reaction until you're put in that situation. My child would be five years old now and not a day goes by that I don't think of him--and I know it was a him because I was in denial for 16 weeks so they had to give me an ultrasound. I know that sounds awful, you know, to have a second trimester abortion, but I was so scared and so alone. Point of fact, as I sat in the waiting room for the procedure (just one of three days I'll have you know) I looked around at all these couples, young and old, comforting each other. All I had was a buddy that ditched class to drive me to the clinic. As he sat doing homework, I held back tears.

I learned my lesson and I know that this will never again be my fate. I'd never been so full of depravity and anxiety as those four months of my life and I wish it on no one.

However there are people who take it much too far and use abortion as a form of contraception. Would you believe if I told you that I met a 13-year-old girl at the clinic who was having her third abortion? Now that is just ignorant.
 
Originally posted by Jonut


In the case of rape, I can understand why people would not want the child, but the child could be put up for adoption, or maybe if the child was born, something postitive would come out of such an awful thing.

I can also see why women might want an abortion if the child is said to have some kind of mental or physical disability, its hard work caring for them, and they could be putting the child out of suffering, but also I think that kids with disabilities can lead very happy and rewarding lives and the tests on the fetis' are not 100% accurate and the child could be born healthy.
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ok..personally i think it depends on the situation the female is in ie:rape, disability, age, money, mental health, etc,etc..
on your first point jonut, and from a personal perspective.. i have a friend who had her child from rape and she loves him dearly,however i could not and i am glad i did not, as my friends child 100% resembles her attacker and i could not cope with that.

i also would have a lot of thinking to do if my unborn was diagnosed with a severe physical disability as i would find this tuff..i believe in a loving stable relationship it should be the choice of both potential parents, as even though they won't admit it men do have strong feelings too🙄
 
Personally, I think it should be up to the woman. I know in some countries abortion is illegal, i think that is wrong. The government shouldn't be allowed to dictate what a woman can do when she gets pregnant.

A few have said about the women who have been raped, in some countries that woman has no choice. She either leaves the country to have an abortion or she has to carry the child full-term, she could always put the child up for adoption after it is born but not all women would be able to go through with that.

and as a guy i do have strong feelings about a lot of things, we normally just keep them hidden better 🙂
 
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