Advice needed...

Status
Not open for further replies.
G

Guestage_87

Storyteller
Joined
Jun 20, 2003
Messages
659
Age
43
Location
Under your bed
Okay, I need some advice because I'm really bad at dating, I was hoping someone could offer up some help.

Anyways, here's the issue. There's girl that I work with and me and her have been flirting ever since we first started working together and I 'm really interested in her, but the first problem is that she is seventeen and I'm 21 , age difference is pretty big. So anyways, I asked her out for Coffee Christmas night and she said that she would be able to but we found out that our schedules were hard to alter so we could, so I said we would figure it out later. Since then we haven't been able to talk about it. So, should I be persistant about the whole "CoffEE" thing or should I just wait for her to bring up? Like I said, approaching girls isn't my strong point in life and I don't want to come on too strong and Ithis is the first girl in a really long time that I have been interested in. Does anyone have any advice for The Hostile One?
 
Well, I think that she totally would go out with you! She already said yes (not to mention she totally flirts with you) and I urge you to try again. By you taking charge and seriously pursuing her will show her that you have a geniune interest in her and that will most likely flatter her. I don't really know you Hostile "one", but you sound like a pretty decent guy. Just don't go all obsessive on her 😉 and I'm sure she'll be fine. She is probably dying for you to bring it up again. Girls can be really silly that way, waiting for the guy to make the first step.
 
Chas, that is so true.She doesn't want to bring it up because it's the guys job to make the first move.Hostile one, i say go for it again.And tell us how it goes.
 
How many different ways can we spell felony?
s-e-v-e-n-t-e-e-n......... 🙂


Sorry, just a bit of innapropriate Blake humor,
I don't give dating advice, I find people learn best thru experience. Just remember there is a big difference 17 to 21 developementally wise. Unless the girls seventeen and the guys 21. Oh wait......

Sorry More innapropriate Blake humor........
Be brave boy, if you want coffee go for it, If you want "COFFEE",
taketh thine time.
 
Well, 4 years isn't a big age difference. My x was 3 years older than me... but she also faked her death and left her friends to kill me... hm... anyway! as long as you are happy I guess. i saw something like this on "Undressed". Yup. Undressed is a TV show on MTV. I forget how it went. Anyway, getting side tracked again, I think if she said yes, then you have it in the bag, because she has some feelings for you. But make sure her parents wont murder you for being older than her...
 
I remember Undressed! Everyone was picture perfect beautiful on that show and they were constantly doing it. Yeah, too bad MTV cancelled it ... I mean, I never watched it. Please ... I have class. *shifty eyes*
 
My friends and I were all upset when it didn't air this summer. We were looking forward to it. LoL.

Back on topic. Um. Yeah.
 
Hostile, I don't feel that it is a big problem if you want to date her, I understand what Blake is saying though. Just be careful and take things slow. Enjoy each other's company and some good conversation. Try to approach it as a friendship and not necessarily dating. That will make you feel a lot more comfortable and everything else will naturally fall into place.
 
Are you kidding? 17 and 21 is perfect! Sure, I wouldn't advise you two to be intamate until she is 18 but what's the rush if you really like her? They say that often women are more mature than men so I think that the age thing is good.
Definately persue this. Like Chas said, don't be 'obsessive creepy' guy...be 'confident I know what I want baby and your on the menu' guy...lol. No, but seriously, just be cool and confident and go for it. Just march right up to her, shoot her a sexy grin and say "So, how about that coffe?" I think Chas said it pretty damn well. 😉 GO FOR IT H! And tell us how it works out!!! 😀
 
I won't give you advice, Hostile17, because people around here tend to laugh at me and call me "Giles" when I give out advice....lol.
But the advice that has already been given you by these fine ladies and gents is sound, and you should take heed.

Good luck on that coffee, Hostile! :: tu ::
 
Originally posted by OLD MASTER 2.0
But the advice that has already been given you by these fine ladies and gents is sound, and you should take heed.
Click to expand...


LMFAO! SOUND? HEED? Well, so much for trying to avoid the Giles type casting...lol 😉 You rock sir Rupert...

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU HOSTILE! 😉
 
Well personally I'm useless at this dating stuff; just ask the other mods about the mess I've gotten myself into 😉 (no really don't it'll give you nightmares!) but I'd jusst like to point out one thing; my ex was 21 whilst I was 17. Now it's true the age of consent here is 16, but it was still the same age gap and things were fine.

I think it would be best to approach her, gently, cos us girls try to pretend to be all coy and stuff 😉
 
I'm a sucker for these "need advice" threads. It's the whole "Been there. Done that." thing.

Want some advice from a battle scarred veteran of the romantic battle field? Here goes...

Don't make the mistake of thinking you're in control, or ever can be. You're not, and you can't. Women are smarter about this kind of thing than guys are.

She knows you're interested. Women have ways of showing you they're receptive to your interest. Even little 17 year old women.

Does she make any effort to be where you are? Does she look in your eyes when she talks to you? If you're in a group does her head turn when you speak? Does she appear to notice you when you're in the room? Stuff like that.

Be yourself. That's easy to say, but tough to do. The best way to accomplish the skill is by being ready to walk away. Realize the ball is in her court now. She knows you're interested, and knows how to let you know she returns your interest. If she is interested she'll give you an opening, to go to the next level. If she's not. Move on. The world is full of the opposite sex. The best way to get someone out of your head, is by finding someone else.

Be receptive. Be interested. When she speaks listen. It's too late to try to impress. She already knows what she thinks. If she gives you an opening though...pounce. Do it quickly and without equivocation.
 
LOL...I feel like I don't even need to say anything...all i want to hammer into your head 😉 is "Age ain't nuthin' but a number!" At least in most cases I've experienced (i.e. the 6 year difference between me and my hubby). Of course it depends on the person, but you'd probably know by now if she didn't match up with you.
 
Yeah, I just don't want end up one of those creepy 25 yearolds who date fourteen yearolds because they can't get any one their own age. But But I know that's not me, and I know that my intentions are good, so there is really no problem with that.

Now, N4H gave some great advice, now I'm even more confused though. I have a difficult time picking up on signs, I'm sure what attention she is giving me. Like Is aid, we flirt alot and she also acknowledges me every time we are in the same room and usually ends up sitting down and talkks to me, she even came in and visted me on dher day off. And a few minutes afer I asked her out for coffe, she came down to where I was working at and rubbed my shoulders. Those are good signs right?? Sorry, this just isn't a strong area for me,I lack alot of confidence when it comes to the ladies.
 
Sounds like you're doing all right. I'd say, go for it.

If she remains hesitant, the problem may be something other than attraction. It may also be something different than what she's telling you it is.

Quietly consider to yourself the possibility of another guy, or guys. Is she getting roadblock advice from friends? I've known girls that didn't like the whole date thing. Not even coffee dates. They preferred to have things progress from less intimate socializing.

I can help you with the last one. The next time you ask her out ask her if she wants to do coffee, or shoot some pool, or something. It's a weird phenomena, I don't pretend to understand, but women who won't do coffee, will often shoot pool. Shoot a game, and stop for coffee.

If nothing works, you may want to consider the question, "is it time to make this girl your buddy, and start looking for a real girlfriend?"

If you can't get it to the next level, consider making the girl your buddy. If you don't she'll do it to you when your not ready for it. Also having a girl for a friend is a great way to meet girls. They're the ideal publicists.

By the way, here's a great comeback to the "Let's just be friends" line.

You say, "Nah, let's just be friendly. I take my friends seriously." Say it with a smile on your face.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom