I must be the only Scot not to have posted in this topic yet..oh the shame.
No idea what age I was the first time I drank alcohol. The first time I was drunk however I was either 13 or 14. I can't be bothered going into much detail( I say that, no doubt this will be a 2000 word intricate description of every single thing that happened that night) but I drank a lot, I was absolutely wasted(at the time I wasn't fully aware of how lethal it can be to mix drinks).
Me and a large group of friends(about 20 of us) would congregate down at the river front most weekends. Some of us would drink or smoke weed. I was never that interested in drinking. That one weekend my pal asked this girl to 'go' with him..preeeck beat me to it( I really liked her too), so I thought I'd comfort myself with drink.
Again, due to naivety, I wasn't really sure how fast I was supposed to drink it. So I was just tipping my head back and pouring away.
There were three benches where we were, some distance apart, so we were spread out into groups. Aformentioned girl and her friend came over to talk to the group I was in(which was enough for me). I decided to vacate the area, convincing two of my pals to go to my house. It was about ten minutes walk, and the closer I got to it the drunker I got.
We had a one litre bottle left which was 2 thirds full with cider, vodka and whisky. I drank most of that, and from then on most of the night was a blur. My elder uber-responsible sister came into my room, saw what was going on and gave me one hell of a slap, and my two friends (of which she really despised one of them, really I think she just wanted to hit him and here was her excuse lol).
Obviously staying in my house was a bad idea, so I thought(actually I had convinced myslef I was going back down to the river to pick a fight with my pal), I couldn't stand though, never mind walk. So my two friends had to walk either side of me, holding me up.
So we're kinda walking stumbling along the pavement, stone pavement. I can't walk, or even stand, I could just barely talk, so I slurringly said to them.
"Whatever you do, don't let go of me, I'll fall straight over"
....
What did both of them do, not just one of them, both of them, as soon as I said it, they let go. I just fell straight forward, I had absolutely no control of my body, I couldn't even move my hands to protect me. Fell straight forward and thumped my forehead on the concrete... And apparently, to the utter amusement of one of my "friends".. I hit the ground so fast that I bounced up a bit..
After they stopped laughing we got up and carried on, we didn't get far though, the drink was really starting to affect them too, and they were struggling to carry me. About 200 yards from my house, my friend who stayed just round the corner from me remembered seeing a wheelbarrow in someones backgarden.
Yes. I was being carted around in a wheelbarrow, drunk as a skunk. Then we met two girls(idiots) from our school. Who convinced my friends the best way to sober me up was to strip me and roll me around on the wet grass...
I don't think that idea worked out too well. So it was back in the wheelbarrow. We had given up going back to the river, we'd never have made it, nevermind making it without being spotted.
So I was in the wheelbarrow, hammered, topless, and then to put the icing on the cake I found my singing voice. I fancied myself as a bit of a Jim morrison in those days..
The friend who stayed round the corner from me, he was actually my best friend back then, was the most sober, which made him the most sensible, and he tried to shut me up. Some old guy came out his house at this point. I can't remember what was said. After that we trundled at pace towards our high school to get away from houses.
It was too late though, the police had been phoned and they caught us. Of course I didn't give a shit, I was still singing lol. Then one of the police swore at me and I replied with something that I got abused about for weeks after by my friends. In fact it still kinda embarrasses me and I do not care to share it even now.
Dear god, I intended in telling that story in two paragraphs. There was other stuff I had planned on sharing, but with the length of this post so far that would just be taking the piss.
Actually one last thing, this is so pathetic, it shows how much of a wanker I am, or was.
My friend that asked that girl out? Obviously nobody does this, but say you have your best friend, and then you order the rest of your friends in terms of closeness. He would have been like my third or fourth closest friend. We went all through primary school and high school together. In fact he was the first friend I made in school. We would hang out like 3/4 times a week.
He didn't even know that I liked her, but from then on I treated him like crap. I would completely abuse every weakness he had. For the rest of high school, not every single time we were together, but a lot of the time i was a jerk to him and he never knew why. And the meaner I got, the harder he tried to fix our friendship, or find out why I was acting like I was.
ok ok, this is the last thing.
Willy? Buckfast is yuck. So sickly sweet. A friend convinced me to drink it once. Never again.