All in the Family...

[palabravampiress]

So, as I have noted at various times with a certain degree of incredulity... love of Giles appears to be hard-wired into my DNA. When I showed my sister the Buffy episode "Passion," she asked to see another. I followed that up with "Once More with Feeling." As soon as she saw Giles, her eyebrows lifted and she sort of smirked and said, "Wow. He aged *well.*" That got me thinking --

Do you guys ever notice that certain personality traits and even ways of thinking seem to be hard-wired into one's genetic code and shared with siblings?

My sister and I, for example, could not have been more different. We had different body types, different coloring, different academic and physical strengths and weaknesses, different interests, different personality types, different appetites, etc. I am 5 years older than my sister, which means we were pretty much always in a drastically different life stage. I left home when she was 12 or 13 - still a little kid. I even grew up in a different neighborhood; we moved from my parents' working class starter neighborhood to a much nicer middle class one when my sister was 7 or so. She doesn't remember the old neighborhood very well, whereas I only spent a handful of years in the new neighborhood before I left for college. With the exception of one year after college and before moving to CA, I haven't even lived in the same state with my sister since she was a little kid. In a lot of ways, I feel like I'm just getting to know my sister now that we're both adults. For the first time ever, we talk on the phone and internet a couple of times a week. As far as siblings who grew up raised by the same parents go, it's pretty hard to be more different than my sister and I were.

All of that said, I am astonished to discover all the ways in which we are alike. It drives my mom crazy. She's a heart-on-her-sleeve sort of woman in a family full of stoics. My sister and I are very logical, rational creatures with a disdain for the practice of expressing (or, really, even feeling emotion). We are both very guarded when it comes to "love," a word that we shy away from saying. We have many of the same physical aliments. We are even attracted to the same, well... everything: the same men, the same books, the same everything. When my mom is having an issue with my sister, she often calls me for insight (that goes both ways, I'm sure). It's weird. My sister and I still have many differences of opinion and lifestyle, but we are, on a fundamental level, very, very similar. When I talk to her, I feel like very few people understand exactly what I mean the way she does.



Have you guys had similar experiences? Do you find that you share a lot in common with your siblings, or are you as different from your siblings as can be?

 

[Crazy Flakes]

Well, I have a twin sister, and I admit, we're a lot alike in some ways. Obviously, we look alike, since we're twins, but that's not all we have in common. We have similar friends, similar taste in guys, similar academic strengths and weaknesses, and we both share an uncanny love of Buffy (and we both think Spike is absolutely gorgeous.) But I think our differences outweigh our similarities. I think I'll just list them:
- I'm way geekier than her, to be honest. Even though she thinks she's really geeky, she recognizes that I practically redefine the word.
- She's the "girlier" one. She's always the one that picks out my clothes for me and helps me with my hair and makeup, something that I am eternally grateful for.
- We have different taste in music. She prefers metal and hard rock while I prefer more progressive, artistic music, even though we both like a little bit of everything.
- Though I don't want to put her down, she is more dependent on me than I am on her. Even though I need her help for a lot of things, she depends on me for basic tasks; I almost think she's started to take me for granted because I'm around all the time, and, in a lot of cases, vice versa.
- Most prominently, she's more outgoing than I am. She's usually the one that makes friends while I just tag along. I can't talk to people, and, even though she claims to be shy, she's great at talking to new people.

Even though she is, without a question, my best friend, it annoys me how people just automatically assume we're the same person just because we look alike. People don't think of us as separate people when they first meet us; we're just "the twins." It's just ignorant. That's why I appreciate my close friends so much.

 

[Aethra]

Well, I have two half sisters, but in a way I'm like an only child. Both my sisters are 15-17 years older than I am, and when I was a tot, they lived with their mother most of the time. They were here in the summers, but I don't remember any of that. And they also have two other half sister's from their mom's remarriage--it can get confusing to explain.

I see my oldest sister maybe about once or twice a month. She's very good about bringing my nephew (five, today!) to visit on a semi-regular basis. She's usually only here for a few hours at a time, but it's always a blast. My other sister lives a bit farther away, about three and a half hours by car, so I'm lucky if I see her twice a year, because she can't often afford to come visit, with these gas prices. Still, whenever I see them both, it's always like they do live with me (once we get past those "So, anything new?" questions), and it's great.

So even though I don't see them as much as I'd perhaps like, and even though we're polar opposites in regards to certain things (for example, my oldest sister is the says-exactly-what's-on-her-mind type, whereas I tend to censor things a bit more; she likes it best when she has about twelve things going on at once (grad. school, full-time teaching, kid, divorce, new relationship, surrogacy, taking me on college visits, etc.), but I'd settle for a nice five or six; she's a morning person, I'm NOT; I prefer hard rock/metal, and I end up having to listen to some of her favorite songs in the kitchen at work every day), there are times when I feel like I'm channeling my sisters. Mostly it happens with my oldest sister, which could be because of the simple fact that I see her most often, or it could be because we're more genetically alike.
-People say we both look exactly like my dad. The last time she came to visit, I had to leave for work shortly after she arrived, so she swung by o visit me before leaving town. The girl I was working with asked me if she was my mom. When I replied, "Nooo, sister," she looked confused.
-We tend to speak alike. Not only in the things we say, but how we say them. Sometimes I'll be casually talking with a friend, and I'll swear that I heard my sister's voice instead of my own. Same tone, same laugh, everything.
-We also have the ability to speak almost faster than the speed of sound if we don't intentionally slow down. Sometimes I'll be telling my mom a story, and before I know it she's giving me the most blank look possible, and when I finish she says "fbvijfanlgedhbviyehbf?!"
-Soemtimes my parents will call me my sister's name. Sometimes, they'll even go through both sisters, the dog, and the cat before they get to me. I think that's just because they're space cadets though.

My other sister and I are really alike, though. If the three of us are in a room together, it's more likely for the two of us to be agreed on a point, rather than for another combination. We look nothing alike (she's a carbon coby of her mom, they tell me), and I've been a head taller than her since I was about 9--and I'm really quite short compared to others. I certainly act like her fom time to time, but it is mostly that I channel the actions of my oldest sister, even though we're so different.

Interesting thread btw, I'd never really thought about my relationship with my sisters like that before.

 

[Washburne]

I have to sisters, one who´s 3 years older and one who´s 6 years younger. We do have a lot in common, in some ways more than I would like, but at the same time there are a lot of areas there we´re different. My little sister is the most outgoing one, living in the big city. Ok, it´s not that big but it´s the second biggest we have here. Big sister´s outgoing but not like the other one, and she "calmed" down a lot then she became a mother. But she´s very social, she gets along everythere. For a long time she lived in the countryside and loved it. Me on the other hand is very shy, put me in my different setting and I´m likely to hide in the corner. I´ve gotten better at it though, but never been the outgoing type. And of course I live in a small town, and that´s the way I like it. And I just had to be the one who´d struggle in school.

But at the same time we´re a lot alike. We laugh and cry at the same thing. We all loved sports then we were younger (none of our parents are the sporting type), and if we didn´t do sports we´d be reading a book. Ok, this part has changed a little since becoming adults. We know that we can count on each other no matter what. We are all very trustworthy. We all seem to care more with the wellbeing of others rather than oursleves. None of us is can´t seem to get our finances in order. Our parent or grandparents never had this problem. We mostly see things the same way. It´s just that sometimes we have to be shown that particular way. We don´t however have the same taste in men. 😉 But I can understand why they love Tom Cruise and Johnny Deep.

Talking about similarities, it´s fun to notice that I have inherited (?) some things from one of my onkels. And at the same time my nephew (is it called that then it´s my sisters son?) seems to have more in common with me than with his mother.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

My brother and I are pretty alike. He's 4 years older than me and moved out of here 3 years ago, so I don't see him that much anymore, but I can just talk to him for ages on the phone or when he's here we always have a lot of fun. We are both such Friends addicts (and I recently got him into watching 'How I Met Your Mother') and when we were younger we used to watch A LOT of Star Trek together. So I guess we have similar taste in some things. Well, and everyone in my family is pretty much a fan of logic. Though, that's a bit strange, everyone except me is really good at math and science. Doesn't mean I completely suck at it, but I'm more the language girl myself, though I think we all have both the Math/science and the language talent in us and it just depends a little more on our personal experience with it (I used to be so good aat math, and I loved chem class, was the best physics student in my class....but then after some time I just wasn't that interested....on the other hand I love languages and probably speak the most in my family, but, everyone here can at least speak German, Russian and English).
Oh, and I'm also pretty much like my Dad. Maybe not from interests (though when he goes to a lighter fair or something like that, I'm still the one most likely to go along) but from the way we are. Attitude, the way we behave and everything. Well, according to my Mom anyway.

 

[November]

I have 2 sisters with me being the middle child. We all grew up so differently yet there are uncanny similarities between us. My older sister is 11 years older than me and grew up with my mum and dad and left home when they divorced when she was around 17. I left my mums house at about 13 and went to boarding school at 14, and my younger sister is still living with my mum at the age of 20.

I don't know whether I followed in my older sisters footsteps or found the way on my own but we have been interested in the same things. We both started out doing environmental science at Uni and excelled at biology. While she finished her degree my priorities changed and I got involved with the practical side of animals, working with horses. She is allergic so she sticks to her plants 😛 My younger sister had all the brains and excels in everything she does! She is doing some crazy hard uni course involving bio medical physics and chemistry and like curing cancer while on the moon or something. Even the description of her course is too hard for me to understand! But still it is science.

My younger sister and I both had music scholarships, I dropped mine in year 10 but she continued until a year after high school and ever toured Europe with the school orchestra and was in WAYO (western Australian youth orchestra). My older sister and I also loved dancing but we both stopped when she had a car accident and broke her back, she toured Korea and japan dancing but I never got to that level as I was still quite young when she had her accident and I felt that it would upset her to see me doing the things she could no longer do.

My younger sister and I were always mistaken as twins when we were younger, even though I had blonde hair green eyes and darker skin and she had dark hair blue eyes and pale skin. I suppose our mannerisms were very similar.

I feel like I am a watered down version of them both, I only got so far where they have excelled.

We all have a similar tempriment, we don't take crap for a second and can be very loud when things don't go our way! We have bad mood swings aswel. We have had our differences and fights in the past but they don't last long especially when it is with me, I tend to go with the Spike mentality in lovers walk "I'll just find Dru, tie her up and torcher her until she likes me again". I don't do that obviously but I do hound them with sisterly love text messages, emails and phone calls until they get sick of it and just talk to me again 😀 I also tend to be used as a conduit to communicate with my parents as I seem to be the only one who is talking to everyone at the same time! I find it funny because although I am the only person considered sane and reasonable in the family, I am the only one that has been diagnosed with a mental illness and spent time in various hospitals!

We share taste men too, easy going surfie boys! None of us could live away from the beach and even though it is a long time between visits not much changes between us. My older sister and I both smoke the same cigarettes and have the same reactions to types of drugs and alcohol, we all like the same sort of food but they love asian food more then I do. They like cooking while I hate it. When we go out people always know that we are sisters and we keep our friends for a long time, we are all still friends with people we knew in primary school! Gee the list could go on with the similarities between us even though we grew up so differently! I couldn't imagine not having my younger sister to play with when we were kids or my older sister to rely on in my teens, I'm thankful for them every day.

 

[Starlet]

Here is what me and my brother have in common:

Our love for comedy films and shows. For example Disney Channel shows-we watch them together. I got him on watching How I met your mother too:biggrin:
We both love to read although we read different books.
I see another similarity in us-if we have a hobby we become aboslutely fascinated about it! When I watch my brother drawning some plans of battles on hundreds pieces of paper I see me setting up my childish publishing house with my cousin or recording my singing on MC's and pretending I was a singer recording her album.

But it's very clear that me and my brother have many differences.
He's the total sport lover and I've never been much into it.
He's the one with big Math talent and I always had problem with this subject.
Instead I was always good at Polish and loved writing (I enjoyed the most those creative compositions such as short stories) but my brother just hates it.
It's funny but both my parents have that science skills and I'm totally humanist type. And I love learning languages which was the thing my mum hated the most to learn!
There are also many other differences that can be between 12-year old boy and 18-year old girl( yeah we have exactly that Buffy/Dawn age gap:tongue🙂
But maybe in time more of similarities between us will come out?

 

[randiann]

My little sis and I are so different and so alike. It's really wierd how that works out. We look completely different. I'm fair skinned, blue/green eyes, lighter hair (when it's not dyed). She's tan, jet black hair and brown eyes, etc. She's a party animal, I'd rather stay in yada yada. But get us in the same room and it's like we are the exact same person. We sound very similar, are both kinda geeky, as in we love Buffy, Invader Zim, LOTR, etc and will often quote/sing lines from our fave parts. Apart, we are both kinda geeky, but get us together and it's total overload. Although we are less than 2 years apart, so we're pretty close in age too though....

 

[Aethra]

I actually just saw both of my sisters today. First time in maybe a year that that has happened. I read my oldest sister's mind a couple of times. We'd all just sat down to eat when her son took a faceplant in the garden, so after she patched him up, I offered to wrangle him for her, as I knew she just wanted to eat.

Then there was a point when my middle sister and I were sitting on the couch with her dog, who was digging furiously at the cushions, to no avail. My sister laughed and pointed it out to me. I laughed. Our dad walked in and said "She's digging! Lilah, GET DOWN!" My oldest sister walked in, laughed at her attempts, and told our father she really wasn't doing any harm. He looked and the three of us and walked away, 'cause he knew he couldn't win. We just think along the same lines a lot I guess.
And they're both coming up in a few weeks again, for my graduation. My dad will be very sick of us.