All you do is complain

[Skanky Vamp]

TripAdvisor posted some of the worst ever reviews posted by Brits:

Many of the complaints were levelled at natural surroundings.
“You said the town was next to a volcano, but we went and there was no lava. I’m pretty sure it was just a mountain,” said one user, upset by a recent trip to Central America.

“The beach was so sandy that sand got into my clothes and was hard to wash off my skin,” said another of Thailand.

“The sand was much too white and not yellow like it is shown in your brochure,” was the problem in the Maldives.

“I went on your cruise around the Med and the sea was so loud outside I couldn’t get any sleep,” someone commented.

In Spain, “The beach had too many fat people. It was gross,” and in Italy, “No one told us there would be fish in the sea – the children were surprised and upset.”

Others took issue with animals either being not happy enough or, uh, too happy.
“The animals at the zoo looked very sad and it made our children cry. Can’t they train them to smile?” said a user unimpressed by the New York Zoo.

“The elephants we saw on our honeymoon were visibly aroused which made my wife upset and made me feel inadequate,” wrote another about a trip to Kenya.

It shouldn’t be surprising that a lot of the complains centred around travel companions and encounters with locals.
“Women were sunbathing topless on the beach and my husband spent all day looking at them,” another wrote.

“Everyone spoke Spanish,” one sharp traveller noted about Spain, along with “The street signs weren’t in English. I don’t understand how anyone can get around.”

 

[November]

Hahahahahhahaha

Sometimes I go to the PomzinOz forums when I cant sleep. They always whinge that it is hot in the sun.

The fish in the ocean is my favourite

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Everyone spoke Spanish in Spain?! Hahaha.

 

[The Bronze]

That is just fantastic. So much stupidity in the world, it's nice when it's at least entertaining.

Only trouble is I like to look at reviews before making a purchase or planning a trip and it's hard work sorting through the ads and stupidity to get to a useful opinion.

 

[GwenRaiden]

The animals at the zoo looked very sad

but this isn't really a complaint, is it? It's kinda true. Zoos suck. I hate them 🙂

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Zoo's are there, they do not suck,
they do not blow they exist not for my enjoyment or yours
they are simply there. They are not good and they are not bad.
I do not hate them, nor did I eat them nor can it be said
that I ate them. There is nothing left than to agree with you
Zoo's suck.

 

[thetopher]

A lot of modern Zoo's do good work regarding conservation and animal awareness, the staff's first priority is animal health and happiness.
I've been to plenty of good ones since I was a nipper so no, its not true that zoos are awful.

 

[November]

I've been to plenty of good ones since I was a nipper so no, its not true that zoos are awful.

It wasnt that long ago that ALL zoos were awful. I remember seeing Trisha the elephant alone in chains when I was a child and I am not that old. I am sure @ILLYRIAN will have memories for even further back 😛 They brought in new friends for her in the 90s. Zoo's have improved, no doubt. But seeing polar bears in a country that has excessive heat and no snow, seals in chlorinated pools, monkeys in small poop filled cages and animals like the giraffe, hippo and zebra unable to move about as much as their bodies require is pretty crappy. This is coming from someone who hates to see horses stabled in tiny boxes and fed processed pellets though and that is STILL THE ACCEPTABLE NORM for pleasure ponies. (I am less against this situation for competitive animals)

I love the conservation efforts some go to - but they are studying how to keep animals alive in controlled environments vs how to control the environmental destruction to keep animals alive in natural habitats.

I have a friend from primary school whos father was the director of the state zoo after working at Dubbo open plain zoo. They were appalled at the conditions here, and eventually the entire family came down with a disease and had to leave their home within the zoo boundaries. They moved around 2000 and are still a very unwell family, which doctors still cannot pinpoint all these years later, but have hinted at it being due to the location of living behind the bears enclosure. I start to wonder if keeping animals that are designed to roam in one spot is a haven for diseases we are not yet aware of, nor able to adequately control. My friend now has a 4 year old daughter who is showing worrying symptoms and they have no idea if it is related to where my friend grew up. The generational illnesses are something I am starting to show interest in, especially after witnessing the trauma that aboriginal people have held on to, generations later. Maybe its just this country that experiences spiritual sickness on that level?

Ten other useful tips for Poms moving to Perth

• Corey Stephenson

So as many people often ask me for advice on living in Perth, here's a list of ten things every Brit should know before looking at WA as potential new home, but probably won't get told in a guide book.

• How being a Brit in Perth can get under your skin[/paste:font]

Mainly because instead of just getting a bit red, the sun can be a deadly home-wrecking fire starter and a short downpour of rain in Perth can later lead to a backlog in car insurance claims.


Also, lightning storms here are awesome.

2. Everybody's already all right


It's a hard habit to break, but it’s best to stop greeting people with the phrase: "all right mate?"

To a Brit it's used so often you don’t even realise you’re saying it, but say it to an Aussie and some will look at you like an idiot while others become paranoid and respond: "yeah, why? Is something wrong? Do I look all right?".

It's best to stick to "how ya goin'?" if you want to stay all right.

3. Drinking is the best

Australia, in particular WA, has the best beer and wine in the world.

Between Margaret River and the Swan Valley the selection of wine is incredible. And the beer here tastes better than any English ale, and are even better enjoyed ice cold.

Also, there are 'drive-thru' bottle shops. So you don't even need to get out of the car on the way to the party dressed in your baggy Batman costume. Genius.

4. Drinking is the worst

With so many great drinks in WA it’s near impossible to go more than a few days without wanting to sample a drop.

In moderation this is fine but between public transport, lack of taxis, a lower drink-drive limit (which is by no means a bad thing), a joke of a serving called a 'schooner', and the price of your new favourite beer, having a cheeky tipple or two regularly can actually be a major hassle.

And from personal experience, if you mispronounce a word, look indecisive or buy too many drinks for other people, the strictly enforced rules will see you thrown out of many licenced venues.

5. Love football

Everybody loves sport. And in WA football is huge - and by football I don't mean football, I mean Aussie Rules or AFL.

Except sometimes, when I mean rugby. Which is awesome in Australia in its many forms.

However I don't necessarily mean A-League football – which is soccer. As demonstrated at the end of last season it can be a disorganised, unruly mess of a game not loved by everyone here, except for those who probably love it too much.

And to make it worse, the Australian soccer league now regularly includes two words that send a terrifying shiver down the spine of every loyal England supporter: 'Emile Heskey'.

But people still love EPL soccer – which is what I used to call football.

Either way a lot of people take football seriously and it's much safer to say that you love the game, whatever it is.

(And if you work behind a bar, never jokingly tell an AFL fan you don't screen live games as 'it's not a real sport'. They will hit you.)

6. Public transport is amazing

Compared to back home, trains are cleaner, quicker, more reliable and some journeys come with incredible views of the river.

Buses also have air-conditioning - and that is just the best.

But most importantly is that by using public transport you get away from WA drivers who seem to treat every junction like the end of the Severn Bridge where you've just paid a toll to get into Wales and everyone floors it to be the first back on the motorway.

7. Public transport is a joke

It's incredible how quickly your view can change – one trip on the Midland Line in peak hour will do it. Also, avoid any suburban station when it's dark.

And if you're standing on a bus because the seats are taken – it's best to wear a helmet and always hold on with BOTH hands.

8. Breakfast is the new dinner

Perth breakfasts are the best in the world. Not just because the incredible variety of meals shame the traditional English fry-up, but because fierce competition in Perth between different cafes and restaurants has seen the most important meal of the day into an art form.

Go out for breakfast once in Perth and you'll never look at marmalade on toast in the same way again.

9. There are sharks out there

You know that mate who joked about you not getting eaten by a shark at your leaving party? Listen to them.

And more importantly listen to Surf Lifesaving WA who patrol the beaches.

If they sound an alarm because there's a shark in the water – do yourself and everyone else a favour and just get the hell out.

And watch the waves at some of Perth's beaches – they can be killers too.

10. Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut

As Brits our relocation to Perth comes after generations of fellow countrymen and women did the same. And it seems when they arrived they pointed out a lot of things they didn't like or that they thought could be improved.

As a result any time you observe something different and compare it with something back home you will be called a 'whinging Pom'. And risk being branded that for the rest of your time here.

Unfortunately most of the time they're right – British tourists do whinge a lot, and I'm pretty sure it's part of the Australian way of life to remind us of that. So sometimes it's best to keep thoughts on the taste of tea, chocolate and how you cook meat on a barbecue to yourself.

Also it appears that at some point the rules established between flies and humans have broken down in Perth, and the winged crap-eaters will without hesitation fly right into your mouth. So that's two reasons to keep it closed.

A few other things to consider:

Buy a hat.

Avoid using the word maroon unless you want an argument about its correct pronunciation.

Watch out for people telling you to "watch out for drop bears".

Ten other useful tips for Poms moving to Perth

This is for the poms upset by the label the recieve after immigrating here. After a while even the poms agree they are a bunch of whingers 😛

Whinging Pom - what does it mean and is it fair?

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Here's another funny one

Please people, dont use this to segue into a discussion about global warming and how polar bears both in the wild and in the zoos are sullen and depressed because life in general sucks and it's because too many meat-eaters fart and human farts are a greenhouse gas and we're all just killing the planet and polar bears each time we toot.

 

[thetopher]

It wasnt that long ago that ALL zoos were awful.

That simply isn't true, unless you've personally visited every single zoo in existence dating back to the 60's.
Yes, there were lots of appalling conditions for animals all over the world but now many zoos know about animal dietary requirements, veterinary needs and stimulation to keep them happy.
Keepers almost constantly monitor many animals to take care of their physical & mental health.

The only 'modern' park I'm absolutely against is SeaWorld because it keeps whales in captivity and they often drive themselves to harming themselves and others because of their unhappiness.

This is coming from someone who hates to see horses stabled in tiny boxes

Man, are you against petting zoos as well? How about the concept of pets?
Psychologically speaking horses don't mind being put in a stable, being well fed, groomed and looked after by an owner. Horses can get stressed very easily so its not hard to tell when they're unhappy.

I love the conservation efforts some go to - but they are studying how to keep animals alive in controlled environments

It's about keeping breeds alive. Without enclosures some species would have good extinct. Pandas for one.
It's also about keeping people aware of all the wonderful wildlife out there, meeting an animal in the flesh can be a profound experience for a young person and so make them appreciate the natural world in a much more fundamental way.

 

[November]

SO, following on from @Mr.Poles post and completely ignoring the above -
Diary of a Pom in Western Australia

This is a good laugh - diary of a pom. It has swearing by the end, this is why I have linked it rather than quoted it.

Another good one to really make the poms angry, is to tell them that pet cats should be restricted to indoor and specialised cat runs 😛
 
Also - poms review bondi
Why are there no sun shelters available on Bondi beach ? - Sydney Forum - TripAdvisor

I never made it through that entire thread. Maybe next time I cant sleep haha.