Alternative Methods For Dusting Vampires

[white avenger]

Assume that you were a newly motivated rogue demon hunter in the Buffyverse setting up the weapons of your trade. Wooden stakes just aren't your style, You want something more modern, more efficient, and better suited to your own unique fighting style. What new weapons would you include in your war bag?

And, please, modern weapons only. No phasers or light sabers.

 

[Robb Stark]

God, anything but the crossbow. Seriously, it just amazes me that no one on the BTVS production team, in seven seasons of the show, ever stopped to say "hey, any of you guys think that crossbows are a little impractical?" Seriously, they're the hardest weapon ever to reload, and the idea of using them in close-combat, as Team Buffy frequently does, is pretty stupid. I mean, they don't even look cool. If Buffy is so keen on distance weapons she's drill her squad on a long-bow.

Anyways, I digress. I'd have to learn how to use it of course, but a greatsword or a heavy longsword would work just fine for me. I suppose because decapitation is probably going to be the way to go, a battle axe would be a good idea too.

But my number one choice? A gun. Doesn't really matter what kind it is. Is it going to kill vampires? No, but it's sure as hell going to hurt them, and when they're bleeding on the (wait. If vampires don't have heartbeats that means they don't have perfusion. So how do they bleed? Maybe that's better left unexamined) ground, I'm sure I can figure the rest out.

 

[white avenger]

God, anything but the crossbow. Seriously, it just amazes me that no one on the BTVS production team, in seven seasons of the show, ever stopped to say "hey, any of you guys think that crossbows are a little impractical?" Seriously, they're the hardest weapon ever to reload, and the idea of using them in close-combat, as Team Buffy frequently does, is pretty stupid. I mean, they don't even look cool. If Buffy is so keen on distance weapons she's drill her squad on a long-bow.

Anyways, I digress. I'd have to learn how to use it of course, but a greatsword or a heavy longsword would work just fine for me. I suppose because decapitation is probably going to be the way to go, a battle axe would be a good idea too.

But my number one choice? A gun. Doesn't really matter what kind it is. Is it going to kill vampires? No, but it's sure as hell going to hurt them, and when they're bleeding on the (wait. If vampires don't have heartbeats that means they don't have perfusion. So how do they bleed? Maybe that's better left unexamined) ground, I'm sure I can figure the rest out.

I totally agree about the crossbow, especially the hand crank antique models that they used on the show. If you just HAVE to use arrows (technically, they're actually "bolts" with a crossbow) a regular bow would be much more practical, and even then, it would be a strictly medium to short range weapon. Close quarters would be impossible.

If you ever read "World War Z," they mention in a couple of places that a short rarge, heavy knife or short sword proved ideal for close quarters work, where firearms weren't practical for fear of hitting your teammates. You might consider either adding that to your great sword or replacing it all together. The big William Wallace type things are also of limited use in confined spaces. No room to swing the big sucker.

Don't rule out guns when it comes to stopping vampires, either. There are incendiary rounds that can be fired from a shotgun or large caliber handgun that could reduce a vampire to cinders before he even had time to dust, and a load of 00 buckshot from a 12 gauge shotgun at close range would pretty much demolish a vampire's head

And rethinking that crossbow decision...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=s3ie9ClrrVc&NR=1

...but I STILL wouldn't want to have to depend on it in close quarters.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

Guns would be fine if you used wooden bullets. Oak or ash wood are strong enough to get to the heart without breaking up.

A flamethrower would get the job done.

But I don't worry about vampires; there's lots of garlic in my diet. I have never been attacked by one yet.

 

[EVIL UU]

I'd take a water fire extinguisher and some water guns and water bombs filled with holy water. It's safe, proven and cannot be used against me.

 

[Nix]

OK I'll go with a mix of Evil UU's water attack and Ethan Reigns' Wooden loaded gun.... SO the further away from the vampires I am the better LOL.

 

[Buffy Summers]

I'd go with the wooden bullets idea or the awesome UV rounds from the Underworld movies lol (does that not count as modern weaponry?) lol

 

[Gum Gnome33]

HA, and now I'm getting so frustrated all over again, thinking about the multitude of ways in which they could have killed ALL the übervamps in the hellmouth without a single casualty on their side...
I mean freaking flood the place with holy water--just dump buckets of it down the hole, level the school exposing them all instantly to daylight, for chrissake...

Sorry, what was the question? 😛

But yes, I agree with all of these!

 

[PassionBecoming]

I would go all Blade/Underworld style with the UV bullets and guns and all that.

I do like [MENTION=11194]EVIL UU[/MENTION] 's idea of the holy water fight, however...

 

[Mr. Pointy]

I'd go with the super-soaker filled with holy water and one of those cool katanas...as used by Michonne for decapitating zombies in The Walking Dead...chopping off a vamp's head is a surefire way of ending them, isn't it?

 

[Robb Stark]

I totally agree about the crossbow, especially the hand crank antique models that they used on the show. If you just HAVE to use arrows (technically, they're actually "bolts" with a crossbow) a regular bow would be much more practical, and even then, it would be a strictly medium to short range weapon. Close quarters would be impossible.

If you ever read "World War Z," they mention in a couple of places that a short rarge, heavy knife or short sword proved ideal for close quarters work, where firearms weren't practical for fear of hitting your teammates. You might consider either adding that to your great sword or replacing it all together. The big William Wallace type things are also of limited use in confined spaces. No room to swing the big sucker.

Don't rule out guns when it comes to stopping vampires, either. There are incendiary rounds that can be fired from a shotgun or large caliber handgun that could reduce a vampire to cinders before he even had time to dust, and a load of 00 buckshot from a 12 gauge shotgun at close range would pretty much demolish a vampire's head

And rethinking that crossbow decision...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=s3ie9ClrrVc&NR=1

...but I STILL wouldn't want to have to depend on it in close quarters.

Actually, yeah, a greatsword might not be the best choice. I'd go a bit longer than a short sword though. A bastard blade would service. Still heavy enough to hack off heads (wow, I can't believe I used that in a sentence), but short enough to control in tight quarters.

As for a firearm choice, Nate Drake made great use of a double barrel, sawed off shotgun against zombies and the like in the Uncharted series, so I'd have that slung across my back. I've fired several types of shotgun and with a little training and practice (mainly to control the kickback and not devastate my shoulder in the process. One of my all time big eye-roll moments in televised fiction is when the hero or villain grabs a shotgun and just fires it off from the hip like it's nothing. Zoe does that ALL THE TIME in Firefly. Sorry, but if you did that in real life, as anyone who has ever fired a shotgun can attest, you'd be on the floor. I don't care if you're Mike Tyson in his prime), and the kickback is pretty powerful.

And by the way, [MENTION=11194]EVIL UU[/MENTION] came up with probably the single best answer to this question ever.

 

[Kean]

[MENTION=1603]Evil[/MENTION]l UU has clearly won this conversation but I'll answer anyway. If I'm a demon hunter, I'd like to think that I'm a bit of bad ass (Shut up! I am.) so what I'd really like is a sword. Maybe something along the lines of Michonne's katana.

EDIT.

Also, I'm going to need a muscle car. So maybe the Chevy Impala or '66 Mustang.

 

[fredthe3rd]

How come their clothes turn to dust as well?

 

[BuffyElevated]

I am kinda in love with Michonne's sword on "The Walking Dead". I'd probably want to use something like that, so I could behead them. 🙂

 

[sk]

This holy water fire extinguisher idea got me wondering...

How does this holy water thing work?
My knowledge of these religious things is rather limited.

Can a priest easily bless an entire lake so you quickly can get an unlimited supply of holy water?
Or are we gonna need a team of priests blessing a small amount each time until we can fill a fire extinguisher?

Also, how much holy water will be needed to actually kill a vampire?
I'm trying to remember if saw any in the show.

I know Darla got a small amount only in her face and survived. She did run away though.
In Lovers Walk they throw holy water bottles as defence. But did that actually kill any?
We do know that if is effective if a vampire drink the holy water. But that's not the easiest way I guess...

/SK

 

[Ethan Reigns]

This holy water fire extinguisher idea got me wondering...

Also, how much holy water will be needed to actually kill a vampire?
I'm trying to remember if saw any in the show.

I know Darla got a small amount only in her face and survived. She did run away though.
In Lovers Walk they throw holy water bottles as defence. But did that actually kill any?
We do know that if is effective if a vampire drink the holy water. But that's not the easiest way I guess...
/SK

Helpless 3ABB12 was the only kill using holy water and the vampire drank it. It seems to be like mustard gas for a vampire - causes burns but does not kill except when ingested. It could be used like pepper spray or mace to repel an immediate attack, but would not be practical when going for the kill. Now mixing their blood supply with holy water... that has possibilities.

 

[Kean]

Now mixing their blood supply with holy water... that has possibilities.

I was just thinking about this. The human body is a water based system. Our brain's are 70% water, our lungs 90% and our blood is 80%. The water we drink keeps us alive, allows our bodies to function. So, what if the water the people of the Buffyverse drank was blessed? All of it. After a period of time human blood would begin to hold the properties of Holy Water that hurt vampires, in effect "poisoning" their source of food. It could potentially wipe them out.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

So many problems.
Take the use of a shotgun, if the vampire is close hope that you are by yourself because if someone else is with you you'd best hope that person is the other side of the vampire about to do the same.
With a sword you'll need the space around you to get a good swing.
Long range fighting is a hit and miss method of fighting, unless you are a good shot and they don't see you, as they move fast.
Holy water has its limitations, as, depending on how much is blessed. Larger amounts need a more effective blessing.
Consider the power of the holy water when blessed by a bloke in a dog collar whose name is Caleb compared with the power of the cross used in the film Constantine.
Like I say, those ways present too many problems for me.
You could use petrol in their cigarette lighters, if nothing else that first ciggy of the new day is really gonna wake them up. A hand on fire will do that, apparently.
Insert incendiary devices in their cigs. That initial look of surprise is good for a laugh as well, that is before they become scientists ... the big bang theory.
But this would be my favourite method ...
Find where the vampires coffins are, fit the area with loud speakers and bar the doors with two or three crosses, then pipe in Spike reading his poetry (at 110 decibels). Sit back and watch the vampires kill themselves. Note, have ear plugs at the ready.

 

[white avenger]

I was just thinking about this. The human body is a water based system. Our brain's are 70% water, our lungs 90% and our blood is 80%. The water we drink keeps us alive, allows our bodies to function. So, what if the water the people of the Buffyverse drank was blessed? All of it. After a period of time human blood would begin to hold the properties of Holy Water that hurt vampires, in effect "poisoning" their source of food. It could potentially wipe them out.

Let's have no talk like that around here! You're talking about destroying the livelihood of every demon hunter, rogue or otherwise, in the world. We just want to keep the pesky critters in check, keep their number down to a controllable level, not destroy them outright. You have to learn from history, Miss K. There was once a sweet little enterprise going on all over Ireland, serpent hunters had it good, plenty of work and grateful clients all over the place. Then that traitor, Patrick, comes up with a charm to run all of the serpents out of Ireland, and puts hundreds of serpent hunters out of business.

Vampire hunters have a duty to destroy vampires, certainly, but we also have an obligation to the future generation of hunters to keep the business viable and profitable. We need to keep the vampire population in check and properly regulated, but no more vampires means no more vampire HUNTERS. We all have to go back to working for a living.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Off Topic.

And how do I know that there were no snakes for Patrick to shoo out of Ireland. The answer is obvious really, the Leprechauns liked eating the snake eggs.