Am I A Horrible Person?

[Hero]

I feel really bad about something. I made plans with my friends Stephanie, Nick, Lauren and Darren a week ago. They're going to come over my house on Saturday to hang out. Then today Stephanie B (one of my best friends since kindergarten) stepdad tells me that he's throwing her a Surprise Swee 16 Birthday Party. I seem to be the only one of her friends to be invited. I asked around and I was the only person who got an invite.

Now, I can't just cancel plans with my four friends because another friend of mine made plans. But, then my mother comes in and starts making me feel like I'm this horrible person for not going. But, it's not like I'm just dismissing her birthday. I'm putting an announcement on the morning annoucement at school so that the whole school knows it's her birthday. And I'm getting her a card and balloons, and I'm using whatever little amount of money I have left to buy her something.

There's special circumstances with why I want to get together with these friends so badly. Nick and my friendship has been on rough waters due to the whole Megan thing that I posted about. That proved to be false and that she was lying. So now I want to try and rebuild our bond before something else gets in the way. I haven't seen Lauren since early August so I'm dying to see her again. Darren is always freaking busy. He has track, drama club, chorus, jades, emralds, jersian club, history club, school, a job, friends, family, a girlfriend, time to himself and homework 5 nights a week. He can't hang out some random night. It's like I have to plan something a month in advance so I can hang out with him.

I just feel so bad. I mean I really don't know what to do. I don't know if she'll feel bad that I didn't show up. She probably will, of course. But, I already made plans. Who gives someone 48 hour notice like that? It's rude. I was the only one invited and I don't know why. It just feels so wrong not go but I already have plans. If I was the only one who was invited and I didn't go, would her feeling of self worth go down and she'll feel bad on her birthday? Why weren't all her other friends invited? She has tons of them. She has even more friends than me and that's like...impossible.

Meh...

I don't know...

What do you guys think?

 

[Chasity]

I don't know what to tell you, hero! You have to make that call for yourself. If you choose not to go to Steph's bday party then I definitly think you should at least address it with her later and explain why you didn't go...a good thing to consider is that she is a very close friend and if she matters more than all the other people you should support her and her party...

Let me know what you decided...

 

[Jenny]

You know, not going to her birthday party does not make you a bad friend. Ditching 4 friends you had invited over to your place at the last minute would be way worse IMO. Especially since you and Nick's relationship is kinda fragile right now.

Her father giving you NO notice is just totally unacceptable as far as I'm concerned. I've been in that situation, and did NOT fold to the pressure (let me tell you..my MIL suddenly pulled a party together for my hubby's b-day a few weeks ago and didn't even tell me until the night before! My SIL was coming in from out of town for it and everything. I'd already made plans for us....so guess who didn't go to his own birthday party? My hubby. Because she was OUT OF LINE doing something like that so late).

SOOO I think as long as you are honouring her birthday in your own special way (which I think is really cute by the way!) then I personally don't feel you are obligated at all to break already made plans with other friends.

Hope I made some sense there hon...been a looong day at work today 😀 Good luck!