Am I overreacting?

JustAnnie

~Annie~
Joined
Mar 29, 2004
Messages
903
Age
38
Location
The Raincity(Bergen)
My sister is studying in another city, and only comes home for holidays. So is it stupid of me to be sad when she only stays in for a few hours ( a couple of them asleep), before she goes out to be with her friends? She always does it, it's the same everytime! And we're only gonna see each other for a few days aswell, cos me and my parents are going to London before she goes back to Oslo (where she's studying). I know she has missed her friends and all, but I still feel neglected and forgotten...I'm probably overreacting and being selfish, but that's just how I feel...Am I overreacting?
 
I don't think so. She IS your sister. IF you want to make it better, tell her how you feel. Maybe you two should spend a day together. Go to a movie or something. Have a bonding time. I think you're being reasonable.
 
It's natural to want attention from an older sibling, it is human to. And no it is not selfish to want to spend time with her, it sounds as though you and your sister are pretty close, or at least a part of you wants the two of you to be, and that is ok. But she to is human, she will seek the largest amount of admiration or attention plausable, meaning that she will want to get as much of the glory of being back as she can. So tell your sister that you want to spend some time with her, maybe do somthing just the two of you. Maybe she feels the same way, maybe she thinks that she just can't come back and take your time, maybe she feels that you won't be willing to commit any "us" time with her.
 
Nope..You're not..It's natural you want to spend time with her and she also should know her priorities
 
My whole family is going away to our usual vacation place in a couple of days, so then we might get to spend some time together, I hope!
I have tried to say other times it happens that I want her to be at home, but it's like she doesn't take me seriously. It's always like that...She wants to spend time with me when she doesn't have anything else to do, and she gets angry if I don't have the time (although that's not often). I don't know, I guess I feel a little left out when she comes home. It's hard to explain everything, it's kinda complicated, I don't get it myself. I have tried to say something about it, but I end up sound like a spoiled brat that wants attention all the time.

ana8 said:
Nope..You're not..It's natural you want to spend time with her and she also should know her priorities

Yeah, I guess...I can tell my parents also get disappointed when she always prefers her friends over us...But it's difficult for her to, cos she's got really demanding friends and she doesn't know how to say no to them...
 
Yeah but still you and your parents are people who will be there always for her...But all in all it's her decision but just repeat it time after time that you want her to spend more time with you and it might actually work..
 
ana8 said:
Yeah but still you and your parents are people who will be there always for her...But all in all it's her decision but just repeat it time after time that you want her to spend more time with you and it might actually work..

I could try...It's just that I'm no good at things like that...It comes out the wrong way and I end up feeling like an idiot and that it was wrong to say anything...I guess I'll just have to try!
Thanks for listening to me btw, it was good to just get it out! I feel alot better now!
 
No problem sweetie..That's what it is all about..helping each other🙂 If you still wanna talk you can always pm me🙂
 
ana8 said:
No problem sweetie..That's what it is all about..helping each other🙂 If you still wanna talk you can always pm me🙂

Thank you! I'll remember that!
You're all so nice here, i feel so lucky I found this place! 😀
 
Faldor said:
no your not, my advice

talk to her not us 🙂

Faldor has a point...while we are happy to give advice, the best advice is to talk to her and let her know how you feel. Hopefully she'll realize what she's doing wrong and fix it 🙂
 
Faldor said:
no your not, my advice

talk to her not us 🙂
I know...But it's hard...I feel like I'm not being taken seriously in this family, it's always like that when I wonna talk about something that's bothering me, they don't seem to care...I know they aren't trying to be mean or doing it om purpose, but it still hurts...I guess that's how it is to be the youngest of the family!
Anyway, I have to go! Thanks for all the advice everyone! You're all so nice!😀
 
i know how you feel.. i'm also the yougest and i have almost 13years of diference from my sister.. so i also got a litlle sad whe she moved home.. it's normal.. altough she spended time with me eventually, but it wasen't the same thing as being with her every day.. so it's totaly normal you feel alitlle sad or negleted.. it's just that as we grow up we start to find a 2sd family outside the house.. because we take family for granted, and think they will always be there..
but talk to her, she probably does't understand how you feel, or that you really missed her..
 
JustAnnie said:
I know...But it's hard...I feel like I'm not being taken seriously in this family, it's always like that when I wonna talk about something that's bothering me, they don't seem to care...I know they aren't trying to be mean or doing it om purpose, but it still hurts...I guess that's how it is to be the youngest of the family!
Anyway, I have to go! Thanks for all the advice everyone! You're all so nice!😀

My family is like that with me too-I have a temper, and I used to flip over any little thing...now, even though I've calmed down a ton, no one takes me seriously! It's all "Oh, she's just overreacting!"
 
Jacklyn said:
My family is like that with me too-I have a temper, and I used to flip over any little thing...now, even though I've calmed down a ton, no one takes me seriously! It's all "Oh, she's just overreacting!"
Yeah, I know that feeling. And if I try to give some advice on something they just say: "Leave me alone, i need to concentrate on this"...things like that happen all the time, I hate it.
They all just see me as the little girl in then family that doesn't know anything, and just wants attention all the time. It's like they think I'm stupid or something...Like when my brother's girlfriend was pregnant and lost the baby, my brother didn't want my mother to tell me cos he was afraid I wouldn't understand...I'm 16 not 6! I was so annoyed by that...
I'm probably overreacting now, cos I am really lucky with my family, compared to my friends, but that doesn't really change how I feel...
 
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