Angel's Pitiful Love Life

[white avenger]

No, this isn't another one of those unending Bangel vs Spuffy debates, so if that's what your wanting, you'll just have to look somewhere else.

It just occurred to me that Angel must have the worst luck with his romantic relationships, either real or just potential, of any single character in the Buffyverse. Darla, Buffy, Kate, Cordy, and now, in Season 9, we find out that Nina is married (we won't find out until months from now that she and Angel have had a child together, a sweet little girl named, purely by coincidence, Darla)

Why does Joss keep pairing Angel with these girls, only to have them either slip away or be pulled away by some supernatural force? He couldn't be with Buffy because of the soul issue. He couldn't be with Kate, assuming that anything might have been on the verge of happening, because she blamed him for her father's death. Human Darla was dying of syphilis. Cordy got sucked up into Higher Being Land, came back only to die, and then possibly came back once more in the guise of a fire breathing dragon, not the most romantic image imaginable. And now Nina, his one night stand with the possibility of an understanding being reached at a later date, has married someone else (Maybe Oz? Wasn't his wife killed in that last big battle in Season 8? Now, THAT would be priceless)

Argue that Angel is some day going to be forever happily joined with Buffy all that you want to, in the meantime, his luck with short term lovers and "in the meantime" girls just plain sucks. No wonder he broods so much.

 

[brinkster130]

It is true, Angel hasn't been particularly lucky in the romance department, as far as maintaining relationships go. IMO part of that is because Angel doesn't feel he deserves a happily-ever-after, and because of that he closes himself off to that possibility.

The same can be said for Xander; as far as luck goes. The guy can't get a date then when he finally does get a love life the girls often turns out to be a monster or they die. 🙁 Let's hope Dawn meets a better fate than his past girlfriends.

I think Joss just really really enjoys his not-so-happily-ever afters.

 

[janas]

Angel was very loved by all the women in his life. I would say that the most unlucky in love is Spike or Xander.

 

[ladydorotea]

Have you seen any Batman movies at all ? It's part of the appeal. What would be the point of a tall, dark and handsome hero who stalks the rooftops in black leather duster 'helping the helpless', and drives around in Angel-mobile convertible - if he did not have the suckyest love-life ever?

 

[Kairos]

Dude, EVERY character in the Buffyverse has the worst love life in the world. Buffy had to send her true love to hell and it went downhill from there. Giles was single without prospects in his fifties. Willow's past made her desperate enough to shack up with Kennedy. All of Xander's exes are dead.

Like Janas said, Angel's been truly loved by good women, more than once. I don't think he'd even consider himself unlucky when it comes to romance - cursed is a different story!

 

[Jodast]

Joss certainly likes to heap misery on all of his characters but if I had the kind of luck Angel does, I'd have a furrowed brow and a sullen attitude, too 🙂

 

[VisionGirl]

Y'all clearly have not seen the Angel/DB Merrick rotation schedule- the dude's love-life is quite fulfilling, thankyouverymuch!

@White Avenger said:
(Maybe Oz? Wasn't his wife killed in that last big battle in Season 8? Now, THAT would be priceless)

Spoiler

I don't think she died, although she was injured

 

[white avenger]

For those who mentioned the degree to which all of Angel's women have loved him, I have no argument whatsoever about that. It's just seems that every time Angel gets someone to play sincere snuggle-puppy with, you just KNOW that some curse, spell, disease, or trip to hell is going to put a very abrupt end to the party in very short order. And, granted, none of Joss' characters ever seem to have any sort of healthy, lasting relationships, Darla and Angelus being the only possible exception to the rule, though "healthy" doesn't really seem to fit very well, Angel just seems to be the one with the worst of all the bad luck with romance.

Joss Whedon truly seems to enjoy placing barriers in the path of true love, or even an occasional good healthy romp that ends on a fairly civil, non tragic note.

 

[Moscow Watcher]

I guess it's an inevitable trope in heroic epic. But in any case I think that Angel's affair with Nina was sweet and ultimately uplifting, because he helped her to conquer her inner monster, and she helped him to feel better about himself during hard times.

 

[Kean]

He has loved and been loved. Heck, he loves. No matter how fleeting his and Buffy's time together, he met the love of his life, and she returned every utterance of that love. That is pretty damn lucky in my book, and a lot more than most people ever get. Not only that, but they both managed to create lives (and relationships) after each other. They were not felled or ruined by love, or the absence of it.

So no, I don't agree with the OP. Angel has actually been decidedly lucky in love.

B/A-S/B aside, I think Spike is actually the most tragic character when it comes to love; those he loves never seem to love him back, or as much. That is much more a cause for pity in my book. Darla could possibly be added to that too. Sadder still, she was aware of how pitiful her situation was, " Want to know what the saddest thing in the world is? ... To love someone who used to love you."

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

No, this isn't another one of those unending Bangel vs Spuffy debates, so if that's what your wanting, you'll just have to look somewhere else.

Darn, I was hoping for a another one of those. 😉

It just occurred to me that Angel must have the worst luck with his romantic relationships, either real or just potential, of any single character in the Buffyverse. Darla, Buffy, Kate, Cordy, and now, in Season 9, we find out that Nina is married (we won't find out until months from now that she and Angel have had a child together, a sweet little girl named, purely by coincidence, Darla)

Poor Angel. He even develops a complex about it. By the time S4 rolls around, he's convinced he has nothing to offer a woman and he'll never have a good relationship ever again. He seems to get over it, though; he's willing to tell Cordelia how he feels (although he never gets too) and he seems to have no qualms with pursuing a relationship with Nina.

Why does Joss keep pairing Angel with these girls, only to have them either slip away or be pulled away by some supernatural force? He couldn't be with Buffy because of the soul issue. He couldn't be with Kate, assuming that anything might have been on the verge of happening, because she blamed him for her father's death. Human Darla was dying of syphilis. Cordy got sucked up into Higher Being Land, came back only to die, and then possibly came back once more in the guise of a fire breathing dragon, not the most romantic image imaginable. And now Nina, his one night stand with the possibility of an understanding being reached at a later date, has married someone else (Maybe Oz? Wasn't his wife killed in that last big battle in Season 8? Now, THAT would be priceless)

In answer to your question; because heroes never have good love lives. They don't have that luxury. They fight alone. Angel's character is cut from the same mold as many classical heroes. Being a hero is about self-sacrifice, and that often includes personal happiness, i.e. love.

Argue that Angel is some day going to be forever happily joined with Buffy all that you want to, in the meantime, his luck with short term lovers and "in the meantime" girls just plain sucks. No wonder he broods so much.

Well, as much as I love the guy, Spike had a pretty sucky love life, too. There was Cecily, who wouldn't give him the time of say, and Drusilla, who cheated on him repeatably, and then Buffy, who he chased for years, had a fleeting relationship with, then chased her some more until he finally left her. But Spike's bad love life can be blamed on bad luck, whereas Angel's is more circumstantial and some of his own doing. For instance, he technically didn't have to leave Buffy. He chose too. Same with Nina. Maybe if he hadn't they'd be married now.

 

[white avenger]

He has loved and been loved. Heck, he loves. No matter how fleeting his and Buffy's time together, he met the love of his life, and she returned every utterance of that love. That is pretty damn lucky in my book, and a lot more than most people ever get. Not only that, but they both managed to create lives (and relationships) after each other. They were not felled or ruined by love, or the absence of it.

'Ah, 'tis better to have loved and lost..."

I understand what you're saying, and I do agree, except possibly the implication about Spike, but that's the subject for a different debate. (See, Miss K, I'm getting more disciplined in my old age) My point was, no matter how much Angel has loved, has been loved, or both, or just enjoyed a simple romp in the hay, it's got to take a toll on him at some point that a bad ending for all involved is inevitable. I can't think of a single love affair in the entire Whedonverse, except maybe Riley and Sam, and I'm not really sure about them, that hasn't ended in tears, tragedy, or both. Angel isn't the only example, by a long shot, but he sure seems to be Joss' favorite target.

Aw, hell, I just CAN'T resist...

Spike's experiences with love have, as far as we can tell, been at least on a steadily improving climb. Cecily thought that he was beneath her, Dru saw him as pretty much a sex toy whenever she was in the mood. Not great,admittedly, but at least she was someone who allowed him to love her and felt at least basic affection for him. Harmony was ... well, she was Harmony. Buffy started out bad, but she inspired him to become a better man, and, for the first time since his mother, actually said that she loved him. That might not be a great history of romantic encounters, but at least it gets a little better with each new encounter. And, lest we forget, "The grubs love him." Okay, that ain't romance (god, I hope not, anyway) but his prospects have gotten steadily better and better, and if my suspicions about what's coming up in his new miniseries comes to pass, my boy's about to hit the jackpot.

So, actually, Spike just MAY have had the most hopeful, if not technically the best, love life of all of Joss' characters. Of course, now that I've said that, it'll probably all go to crap.

 

[janas]

Look, I think until Angel it will remain vampire, will never have anything real. He is destined to survive all the people that matter to him. Probably, that's what saying Joss and all the journey of Angel is centered on becoming human.

 

[ladydorotea]

Aw, hell, I just CAN'T resist...

That's too bad , because I started developing friendly feels for you and this thread - and then crap... Not reading this/here anymore - and I think the thread needs to be renamed : as 'baiting for another Spuffy/Bangel all out'.

 

[Robb Stark]

I don't think I'd describe Angel's love life as "pitiful". Sure, not many of them have lasted, but most of them were pretty remarkable. I mean, I know you're not a Bangel fan, but Angel's relationship with Buffy was incredible. They were both totally in love with each other, to the point where the rest of the world melted away. Like Kean said, that's not something that most people ever get to experience. I don't really know how to classify what he had with Darla, but whatever it was, it lasted for centuries (if you count the "Angelus" years that is). He was incredibly close with Cordy before circumstance and poor writing got in the way. We didn't really get to see too much of Nina (I'm reading After the Fall right now, but I'm only a few issues in, so I can't really speak to what happens in the comics), but Angel seemed to be on track towards a healthy, normal relationship with her (or at least, as healthy and normal as a vampire and a werewolf can get) before the apocalypse got in the way.

Angel's been unlucky in how his relationships have turned out, but I don't think that he's had a single "bad" one. All of them were special and unique, with amazing women. Heck, if that's pitiful, sign me up.

 

[white avenger]

I know you're not a Bangel fan, but Angel's relationship with Buffy was incredible. They were both totally in love with each other, to the point where the rest of the world melted away.

Angel's been unlucky in how his relationships have turned out, but I don't think that he's had a single "bad" one. All of them were special and unique, with amazing women. Heck, if that's pitiful, sign me up.

I don't know where this huge misconception got started that I am not a Bangel fan. Buffy and Angel together in Seasons 1 through 3 was beautiful. especially with the way that they overcame the tragedy of Season 2. Bangel was a fantastic first love story. I have always believed that, and still do.

And back to the subject of the thread, how Angel's relationships tend to consistently end with broken hearts at best and death at worst is exactly my point. It's not the quality of Angel's loves, it's the brevity of them that I was pointing out as being pitiful. Nobody is any more sure than me that Angel's romances were beautiful in their quality. They just always seemed to be ending before they really got started.

 

[ladydorotea]

It's not the quality of Angel's loves, it's the brevity of them that I was pointing out as being pitiful. Nobody is any more sure than me that Angel's romances were beautiful in their quality. They just always seemed to be ending before they really got started.

I think you are cheating here a bit, excuse my pointing out. Angelus-Darla relationship lasted over a hundred something years - which is a record of sorts in Buffyverse terms. True, it was not 'love' in its truest sense, but it was not exactly a record of brevity. If we turn to Buffy -Angel as an example, we also run into something unique to the verse - because as of S8 Angel's most important thing in the world is/was Buffy , according to the chief editor and writer of the series, and in S9 Buffy is the woman he loves - according to the writer of his comic book. If you look at Angel's S9 book driving storyline , it basically boils down to him abandoning every other ambition, relationship or worthy goal in his life but trying to undo something that broke him and Buffy apart, which is remarkable, because he used to have other goals, and other relationships that meant a lot to him - but apparently and according to Mr Whedon - not any more. So basically, his love for Buffy and devotion to her has lasted longer ( in the story season terms) than any other relationship in the verse. How does 'brevity' apply here?

 

[white avenger]

I think you are cheating here a bit, excuse my pointing out. Angelus-Darla relationship lasted over a hundred something years

If we turn to Buffy -Angel as an example, we also run into something unique to the verse - because as of S8 Angel's most important thing in the world is/was Buffy , according to the chief editor and writer of the series, and in S9 Buffy is the woman he loves - according to the writer of his comic book. So basically, his love for Buffy and devotion to her has lasted longer ( in the story season terms) than any other relationship in the verse. How does 'brevity' apply here?

I was referring to Angel, with a soul, not Angelus. His time with mortal Darla and later pregnant re-vamped Darla was both brief and tragic.

And as for Angel and Buffy, their entire relationship, specifically since he left Sunnydale, has consisted of a series of brief encounters separated by ill feelings, tears, and frustration, with the recent deaths of a few thousand young Slayers, among others, sprinkled in for good measure. The last thing that she told him concerning her feelings for him was that she loved him, but didn't trust him. That's not what I call a relationship strengthening statement. And his current mission, if she ever finds out about it, is almost certainly going to cause the biggest rift in their relationship to date. Buffy may indeed be the love of Angel's life, and they may indeed someday wind up together, happily ever after, but as of right now, that is long on promise and short on delivery. I would call what Buffy and Angel have at the moment, the way that Season 9 is unfolding, far more frustration that romance.

 

[Robb Stark]

I don't know where this huge misconception got started that I am not a Bangel fan. Buffy and Angel together in Seasons 1 through 3 was beautiful. especially with the way that they overcame the tragedy of Season 2. Bangel was a fantastic first love story. I have always believed that, and still do.

And back to the subject of the thread, how Angel's relationships tend to consistently end with broken hearts at best and death at worst is exactly my point. It's not the quality of Angel's loves, it's the brevity of them that I was pointing out as being pitiful. Nobody is any more sure than me that Angel's romances were beautiful in their quality. They just always seemed to be ending before they really got started.

I think it might be the "friends don't let friends ship Bangel" tag line🙂.

I don't think of Angel's relationship with Buffy as short term or brief. I know it's the theme word of the Bangel fan club, but I think of them as truly forever. Sure, they aren't together right now, but they will be someday. I think that was a big part of Angel's appearance in "Chosen". Again, I haven't gotten to S8 of the Buffy comics yet and I'm almost done After the Fall, so I can't really comment, but from what I've gotten from the series', that's how I read Angel and Buffy. I don't think they're ever really "over".

But I do see what you mean otherwise. His relationship with Nina ended before it ever even had a chance to get started. Angel/Darla was so complex that it's difficult to even call it a "relationship" and Angel and Cordy were robbed of what they could have had.

 

[Kean]

If Angel's love life is deemed "putiful" because all of his relationships have ended, then every character - bar Oz - must be deemed to have "pitiful" love lives too, as they have exactly the same experiences as Angel has in that department i.e. all their relationships ended too. When it comes to love lost, he certainly is not exceptional among this group of characters.