Annoying neighbours: Part 2

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

I did something that was really nice, but considering the end result, I could kick myself. I wasn't going to share it here, but I changed my mind because I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

Last month, I was weeding my garden when I noticed one of the neighbours outside; she's an older woman, about 66, and we used to be quite chummy.
Anyway, she looked really depressed and near tears. Being the kind-hearted fool that I am, I approached her and asked if she was alright. We spoke for about ten minutes, mainly about why we were no longer as friendly as we used to be. I was happy that were finally discussing this situation. It cleared the air, I felt.
However...out of the corner of my eye I noticed another neighbour peering through her screen door, intently watching Kathy and I talk. This was Agnes, a gorgeous, yet insecure Polish girl. A few minutes later, Agnes came bouncing out to join the conversation. (I used to be friendly with her as well, but things changed)
After a half hour of talking, I was in a pretty good mood. So I went inside to retrieve the two Christmas presents I hadn't given them in December becaused I'd been pissed. I approached them and handed over the gifts. (they were really pretty necklaces) I was thrown for a loop when Kathy looked at the necklace and said, "I don't really need this," as she handed it back to me. Then Agnes, "I never wear necklaces, sorry."
You can imagine how I felt. 🙁

 

[GwenRaiden]

Were the necklaces nooses?

In ~all seriousness~, that's kinda shitty of them. Maybe they weren't feeling things were resolved, as maybe you were?

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Were the necklaces nooses?

In ~all seriousness~, that's kinda shitty of them. Maybe they weren't feeling things were resolved, as maybe you were?

I didn't think anything was resolved; giving them the necklaces was on impulse. After all, I had bought them specifically for them last year. Either way, what's done is done. Yet I'm still angry about it.

 

[Last Watcher]

To me that seems really rude of them.....even if they didn't want the gifts it's common curtesy to accept them, even if you never wear them or quietly give them to someone else...but to reject them outright.
From the sound of things maybe the Polish lass thought if the other woman didn't accept she shouldn't either, but still. I get why you're angry.

 

[thrasherpix]

It seems rude to me as well. I'd personally suspect she came out there just to be sure the two of you weren't talking about her.

I just looked up Polish manners on gift giving and it keeps saying not to give anything expensive as it's awkward for them (none of the sites said why, but one said anything under 200 Euro was safe, which is roughly 200 dollars, but it could be much lower if you're not dealing with middle class or higher). I don't know if that applies here or not.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

It seems rude to me as well. I'd personally suspect she came out there just to be sure the two of you weren't talking about her.

That's my feeling as well...because I did notice her peering out from behind the screen door as I was chatting with Kathy.

Honestly, I had no idea that things had become that bad. I mean, it was obvious to everyone that I was annoyed by the group of women (and kids) hanging out near my yard, but I never yelled at them or anything. I'd just turn my music up louder.

My issue is, and always has been, privacy. If I can't relax in my yard without an audience, I become extraordinarily hostile...but like I said, I never got verbal. However, since they've thrown down the gauntlet, as it were, I seriously hope they stay FAR, FAR away from me...for their sakes.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

What aren't you telling us? There is obviously a lot more. Why didn't you give them the give the previous Xmas.

 

[November]

I realise these people are probably not like me and their reasons for rejection of the gift were probably different to mine - but I would like to point out when someone refuses a gift, it is not always with the intent of being rude.

I get far too overwhelmed with gifts and dont really know how to handle them. I often refuse them and tell people I have no need for it. For starters, I already have enough crap and I am aiming for minimalist.

It was a sweet gesture and I am sorry you were hurt by their rejection 🙁

I am sure there are some less fortunate people who would adore your necklaces. Find someone who appreciates it.

 

[Fuffy Baith]

You must have been good friends with them otherwise I'm not sure why someone would buy a present for their neighbors. We never got our neighbors presents even when we did know them and hang out with them. But maybe that's just me, I don't buy presents for just anyone.

But that's really rude of them to just hand them back like that. Maybe they felt they couldn't accept it because they didn't get you anything? Still they should have said that if it was the case. Idk, what happened between you guys but if you were talking reasonably for a half hour then it's understandable that you thought things were good enough to give them presents and they should have accepted. Otherwise, why were they talking for so long.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

What aren't you telling us? There is obviously a lot more. Why didn't you give them the give the previous Xmas.

In 2011 I met Kathy, who actually stays with her daughter during the week so she can babysit her little granddaughter. Usually, my rule regarding neighbours is to NOT become overly-familiar with them. And it works perfectly. However, I started chatting with Kathy because she was pleasant. Them one day, I saw Agnes and Kathy talking, which was a relief...Kathy was too needy and wanted to talk ALL OF THE TIME. I found myself hiding behind bushes just to avoid her.
So those two hung together and soon two more couples moved....so now we had a chatty group of approximately seven women who were loitering by my gate on a daily basis. My privacy was gone, and I felt trapped.
Then one day I heard Agnes gossiping about ME. The silly cow didn't know I was home! Because I'm simply horrifying at confrontations, I merely posted about it on FB...and set it to public. I know that two of them creep my profile, so using FB is great to send out messages.
I wrote, "Hello neighbour. Just so you know, I have incredible hearing and am quite good at interpreting body language...plus I'm home a lot. Next time you decide to make disparaging remarks about me, perhaps you should make sure that I can't hear you. Oh, and I can't stress this enough; YOU DO NOT WANT ME FOR AN ENEMY. I'M BIPOLAR, VINDICTIVE AND HAVE LOTS OF FREE TIME. Take care."

@ILLYRIAN I didn't give them the gifts on Christmas because a few days before, I'd walked by them...I said hello, yet they IGNORED me.

 

[Xanderectomy]

You can imagine how I felt. 🙁

well screw Agnes and Kathy
heres a necklace fore u from my side.