In the real world I have a lot of pressure and get to interview celebrities, entertain models, host parties, work on films & TV, write articles that actually mean something to a lot of people as well as fit that around a social life in a town where everybody knows me and I never get a break or time to myself. It's always go and I'm fine with that but I just wanted to do something different. Coming on here is like a release you know, I have no responsibility and can exist in a simpler way where there is no consequence for anything I say or do and I'm not always being watched. I barely discuss Buffy and just talk here in The Bronze 99% of the time because none of you expect anything from me and just act like I am one of you. I like that and don't see anything wrong with it so why am I being labelled as an outcast for it? Sharing this forum was a bad idea and now everything I write on here is going to be under as much scrutiny as the rest of my life.
I've spent more time on the Internet (here) in one month then I have in the past few years. I think maybe I should step back and take a break. I should, right?
---------- Post added at 03:07 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:51 AM ----------
You're right Darl(ing)a, you're right. I'm just.. when I took my job it was just to be a writer for one magazine and it spread out to spokesperson for the company. I'm like Eve, like Hamilton. I feel like liason to the Senior Partners but I live my job. I am so lucky and privileged, I mean I've had pasta with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz you know. I am so lucky. But it never ends. Things are always expected of me. 24/7.
This forum was supposed to be an escape and I admit that now but having someone from my life come on here and read into things in the wrong way and then blame me for wanting a break from it all? How dare I. How dare I want to take such a great existence and turn my back on it for a forum? I am the most confident person I know and never doubt myself. Tonight I feel like I am the most selfish twat on the planet. I think back to when I was 15 and I was homeless, I have no right to complain about being so busy and having no free time. I have a roof over my head. Loads of friends and a girl who loves me. How dare I want to escape from all of this on the Internet?
I'm the most unappreciative and selfish person I know. I should be happy with what I have.