Anya Quotage

[Lee]

The 1120 year old ex-demon is quite the quotable little character, dont ya think?

What are some of your favourite Anya quotes?

It's really hard for me to narrow them all down, but some of my favourites aaaaare:

I Was Made To Love You
XANDER: Who's that?

ANYA: Oh, that girl. Tara and I met her. She speaks with a strange evenness and selects her words a shade too precisely.

XANDER: Well, some of us like that kind of thing in a girl.

Veeeery long, but ya gotta love it!

Shadow

ANYA: We've done just about enough making things worse for one day, haven't we?

Everyone looks guilty except Buffy, who looks confused.

BUFFY: Why? What do you mean?

XANDER: Uh, nothing. Anya broke a ... bippity boppity boo. A thing. Don't worry about it.

ANYA: I did not! I didn't break-

GILES: Anya, Buffy doesn't need to hear about your...clumsiness right now.

ANYA: (sighs) My clumsiness. I mean, that is so- (Willow and Xander give her meaningful looks. She looks at Buffy)...like...me...Slippery, slippery...butterfingers.

BUFFY: (not fooled) What happened?

GILES: Nothing to concern you, uh-

BUFFY: Giles!

GILES: (sighs) The, uh, (embarrassed) demon woman was here, the one who attacked you.

Buffy looks alarmed.

WILLOW: It's no biggie, she-she just got an amulet and a bloodstone.

ANYA: That can create a monster.

WILLOW: Okay, biggie.

BUFFY: My god, are you guys okay though? I mean, did - no one got hurt, right?

GILES: Oh no, thankfully, no, uh, no violence to speak of.

BUFFY: Okay, so, that's good...(not understanding why everyone looks guilty) How did she get away with this bad mojo stuff?

Pause. The others look at each other in embarrassment.

ANYA: (whispering) Giles sold it to her.

Triangle

GILES: Dealing with customers requires a certain...finesse...

ANYA: I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom! I can *completely* lie to the health inspector, I can, ya know, distract him with coy smiles and bribe him with money *and* goods!

Into the Woods

ANYA: That's so very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon! I can just hear you in private. (talks to the chicken foot) 'I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal.'

WILLOW: (frowns) Anya, I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way.

ANYA: There's nothing wrong with my idea anyway. I've been very good for this store. (frowns) If it wasn't for me, Giles would be a terrified old man staring at a quarterly tax statement and wetting himself.

GILES: (insulted) I say, that's an exaggeration.

WILLOW: Anya, you've helped out a lot, but I have too.

ANYA: (opening another jar) Yes, I forgot about all the vigorous sitting around.

XANDER: Anya, you can back off a little. You get paid. Willow's doing this on her own time.

Willow smiles and nods triumphantly.

ANYA: (with a fake smile) I'm sorry, Willow. Thank you for making time in your busy life to come in here and get in the way of mine.

XANDER: (annoyed) Anya, play nice.

ANYA: You know, fine, take her side instead of mine (Xander sighs, puts his hands over his face) even though I'm the one who sleeps with you and feeds you, bathes you...

The Real Me

ANYA: Oh, crap. Look at this! Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage...

XANDER: That means you're winning.

ANYA: Really?

XANDER: Yes. Cash equals good.

ANYA: Ooh! (claps her hands in excitement) I'm so pleased. Can I trade in the children for more cash?

Urgh! There are too many good quotes! I must stop, before I mention everything she's ever said!

 

[Amber Benson]

Oh god, theres so many... I'd have to say that one that made me laugh until I cried was during Checkpoint...

BUFFY: (looks up at her friends on the balcony) We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon.

ANYA: Willow's a demon?!


She kills me.... :biggrin:

 

[Anchovy]

Gotta love when Anya speaks! These are my favorites,

Anya: You can sleep with me.
Everyone looks at Anya.
Anya: Well, now that came out a lot more lesbian than it sounded in my head. ~Tough Love

Buffybot: How is your money?
Anya: (laughs in surprise) Fine. Thank you for asking. (smiles at Xander) ~Intervention...ok, maybe that's more the Buffybot, but I love how Anya is so pleased that she asked.

Anya:Short, brutal life. Sharp, sharp knives. I covered this.~Potential

There are sooo many more, but I'm gonna stop now. She always makes me smile!

 

[VisionGuy]

One that always makes me laugh is in Entropy

Anya:God!What kind of lesbians are you?If you love men so much,go love men!

That quote is so funny.It gets me every time.

 

[Cookie Dough]

Willow: Will you help me?
Anya: Is it difficult or time consuming?

 

[Joamna]

Anya: And I wasn't talking about your date anyway. I was talking about this sham date of Xander's. I think it's part of a plan to make me jealous.
Buffy: Well, it's not working.
Anya: Are you nuts? Of course it's working. Observe my-my bitter ranting. Hear the shrill edge of hysteria in my voice.
Buffy: Um, I should really go find something else to wear.
Anya: Fine, go. Leave me here to stew in my impotent rage. I'm also gonna pee, so you should probably go.

 

[Lee]

Ahhhh! So many good quotes! 😀 😀 😀

Anya (To Willow): Come in! Enjoy my personal space!

^ I *LURVE* the look on her face when she says that!

Anya: Piano!

Xander: Cuz thats what we used to kill that demon that one time...no wait...that was a rocket launcher. Ahn, what are you talking about?

Anya: We should drop a piano on her! Well...it always works for that creepy cartoon rabbit when he's running away from that nice man with the speech inpediment!

(Is it wrong that I know that quote off-by-heart? lol)

 

[Xander]

Another from Potential (as its my most recently watched ep)

"Wow. It's like, one second you were this klutzy teenager with fake memories and a history of kleptomania, and then suddenly you're a hero with a much abbreviated life span."

Always looking on the bright side

 

[Destructo Girl]

Willow: "Damn love spell. I have tried every anti-love spell spell I could find."
Anya: "Even if you find the right one, the guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love spell spell... spell."

Anya: "No, you were great! And I wasn't sure if I should slap him, but then he made me want to slap him, so I thought, OK, slap him!"

Anya: "Please, how many times have I heard that line in my demon days? "I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?" Or terrified. Whatever."

Anya: "Want me to kick down the door?"
Xander: "Anya"¦"
Anya: "What? I'd be funny."

Andrew: "Entertaining and educating."
Anya: "Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?"

Andrew: "You are the perfect woman."
Anya: "I've often thought so."

Anya: "Come on. Let's go assemble the cannon fodder."
Xander: "We're not calling them that, sweetie."
Anya: "Not to their faces -- what am I, insensitive?"

Andrew: "We will defend it with our very lives."
Anya: "Yes, we'll defend it with his very life."
Xander: "Don't be afraid to use him as a human shield."
Anya: "Good, yes, thanks."


I love this whole scene... 🙂

Willow- "But you don't even know him!"
Anya- "Yes, I do. I looked into him and saw his soul."
Willow- "He was walking away, so unless his soul was in his ass"”"
Anya- "A.J. is my best friend and my dearest darling"”"
Willow- "It's R.J. And what you were picking up on was his deep caring and devotion to me."
Buffy and Dawn walk downstairs and see Willow and Anya arguing.
Dawn- "What's going on?"
Anya- "Willow thinks she's in love with my boyfriend, R.J."
Dawn- "What? No! You two can't do this."
Buffy- "Willow, you're a gay woman"”and he isn't."
Willow- "This isn't about his physical presence. It's about his heart."
Anya- "His physical presence has a penis!"
Willow- "I can work around it!"
Dawn- "This isn't fair! How can you all be doing this to me?"
Buffy- "OK, wait. Everyone wait. Just calm down, OK? I-I think I know what this is. Clearly, you've both been affected by the same love spell that got Dawn."
Willow and Anya roll their eyes
Dawn- "Uh! This isn't a spell. He owns my heart."
Buffy- "Dawn, be quiet. We're trying to work this out. We don't need you interfering."
Willow- "There's a simple answer to this. Just think about who loves him the most. Clearly I do, since I'm willing to look past the whole orientation thing."
Dawn- "I need him."
Anya- "Well, you're gonna have to do better than that"”I'd kill for him."
Willow- (scoffs) "You'd kill for a chocolate bar."
Buffy- "No. Yes! Kill for him. I'm the slayer. Slayer means kill. Oh, I'll kill the principal."
Anya- "Ooh, that is hard to top."
Willow- "Yeah, well I have skills. I can prove my love with magic."
Anya- "Yeah, right. What're you gonna do"”use magic to make him into a girl?" (Willow's eyes widen) "Damn."


One more long one...

Mr. Xander Harris,
That's what he is to the world outside,
That's the name he carries with pride,
I'm just lately Anya,
Not very much to the world I know,
All these years with nothing to show,
I've boned troll,
I've wreaked some wrath,
But on the whole I've had no path,
I like to bowl,
I'm good with math,
But who am I?
Now I reply,
That I'm the missus,
I'm will be his missus,
Mrs. Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins Harris,
What's the point of loving?
I mean except for the sweaty part,
What's the point of losing your heart?
Maybe if you're lucky being a pair makes you twice as tall,
Maybe you're not losing at all,
No need to cover up my heart,
Plus see above re sweaty part,
So maybe love is pretty smart,
Then so am I,
I found my guy,
And I'll be missus,
I will be his missus,
Mrs. Anya lame-ass made up maiden name Harris,
We'll never part,
Not if we can,
And if we start,
Then here's my plan,
I'll show him what bliss is,
Welcome him with kisses,
'Cause this is a missus who misses her man,
He's my Xander and he's awfully swell,
He makes financial sense as well,
Although he can be I'll never tell,
Just stand aside,
Here comes to bride,
I'l be missus,
I will be his missus,
I will be...

 

[Cookie Dough]

I loved the episode Him especially with Anya. Some people have no sense of humor with that episode.

 

[Mango]

Oh my god!! Anya is like the funniest character and she has had so many great quotes. My faves are:

Andrew: "Entertaining and educating."
Anya: "Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?"

Xander: "I got friends on the line."
Anya: "So?"

Anya: "Fine. You know what? I hope you die. (Xander walks away) Aren't we gonna kiss?"

LMAO!!

 

[Ariana's Curse]

(5,18) Buffybot: Oh- I don't think I'm a robot
Anya: She's very well done

(5,5) Anya: Hey you! Have a nice day.
Xander: That's my girl!

LOVE anya- such a funny character- Anya working in the magic box was a winning move!!

 

[Drusilla's_Evil]

I absolutely LOVE Anya!! She is just, unbelievably hilarious!! I'm always on the floor, laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face!! : rotflmao The first one is my ALL TIME favorite quote on Buffy!!!

Anya: I have monopoly, Clue, and ooh, the game of Life!! (Laughing too hard to type)

Xander: I want sugar, I came for sugar.
*they kiss*
Anya: Thank you for your patronage. (I think that's how you spell it. >.<)

 

[Summers Blood]

Anya: That's so very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon! I can just hear you in private. (talks to the chicken foot) 'I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal.'
Willow: (frowns) Anya, I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way.

This is one of my favourite quote by anya i just love it. I don't know why. I think it's the way she says it.

 

[nerd4hire]

Not really funny, but I love Anya's final line when she grabs her sword in both hands, narrows her eyes, looks angrily down the corridor, and goes, "Bunnies...Hoppy, floppy, Bunnies."

 

[Feigenbaum]

I like in "Triangle"

Willow: You don't know how to drive?"
Anay: Well, I couldn't know if I didn't try.

That whole part between the two of them in the car is great.

 

[phoenixrising]

My favorite is not the funniest thing she ever said, but rather the most human.

' I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.'

With every sad thing that happens in 'The Body', no matter how many times I watch it, this always make me cry.

 

[Mulder22]

My favorite would have to be the one that someone metioned before. "Willow's a demon.". Just hilarious.

 

[Winifred]

Oh Anya! I LUV her she's just soooooo funny that it hurts! And the things that just came out of her mouth were priceless! A lot of you have mentioned the quotes that I thought were funny and the one's i love are the ones between Anya and willow like these ones:

Willow: "Damn love spell. I have tried every anti-love spell spell I could find."
Anya: "Even if you find the right one, the guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love spell spell... spell."

Anya: That's so very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon! I can just hear you in private. (talks to the chicken foot) 'I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal.'
Willow: Anya, I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way.

Anya: "Well, I don't know how to put the top up, I only just figured out what the left pedal does! It makes us stop!"
Willow: "You don't know how to drive! Why didn't you say you don't know how to drive?"
Anya: "Well, I couldn't know if I could until I tried, could I? Now hold on, I'm gonna press the right pedal harder. I expect us to accelerate."

Anya: "I know what broke up him and Cordelia, you know. It was you! And your lips!
Willow: "No, it was not! Well, yes it was so, but... that was a long time ago, do you think I'd do that again?"
Anya: "Why not?"
Willow: "Hello? Gay now!"

Anya: "How can I help?"
Willow: "Uh, distract him from Buffy. Uh, piss him off."
Anya: "I don't know how."
Willow: "Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off."

And this one i don't know if it's been mentioned but i love it!:

Anya: Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins, 20 years old, born on the 4th of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, Mister, 'cause there were. "Who's our little patriot?" they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now."
Watcher: So, you spell it A-N-Y-A, then?

 

[PrincessZombie]

I don't think this one has been mentioned, but it's my favorite Anya quote of all time, from Once More With Feeling.

DAWN: Oh my god. You will never believe what happened at school today.

BUFFY: Everybody started singing and dancing?

DAWN: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.

ANYA: Oh my god, did it sing?