Anyone find the Monotony of the Romance in the franchise depressing?

[CordelliasHeart]

Buffys mom gets divorced before the series starts... Buffy and Xander is alluded to a time or two and NEVER goes anywhere.

Buffy gets together with angel, stays together a while then breaks up, after 3 seasons, then 3 seasons with riley, then is with spike.

As well as one or two students at random.

Cordellia flings from some jock, to a bunch of college boys, to johnathan, to Xander, then breaks up with him...

Willow and xanders alluded to but never does anything but destroying Cordellia/Xander.

Giles and jenny happens for a bit, but ends with her death

Giles/Joyce is alluded to a bit in band candy... but neither of them seem to want to consider continuing the relationship

Willow and Oz, ends after 2 seasons

then Willows with Tara, then Tara dies...

Hells bells seems to be aware of the monotony and to tease us with just ONE happily ever after... just ont, then yank the rug out from under us by having Xander be a scared little boy.

Doyle and cordellia is hinted at, and goes NOWHERE.

Wesley and Lilah, they sleep together a bit, and were thinking will one lead the other to their own side... no it goes nowhere.

Anyone else find this monotony dreary, or depressing?

 

[Still a Scoobie]

Doyle and Cordelia might have worked if the Glenn Quinn hadn't had to leave.


It's not monotonous or dreary, it's realism. Love is pain and the vast majority of relationships end and often end badly.

 

[AnthonyCordova]

maybe a little bit, since I'm one of those people who believe some loves can actually last a whole lifetime, and can survive life stress/difficulties. It makes me a little sad to think of how many romantic relationships in the Buffyverse fail in the end. But maybe from a television stand point though, those types of steady and successful relationships might bore the viewer. I think most viewers generally want constant change/evolution of the story and the characters.

 

[Blaze]

Because the group is only 22yo by s7, no it doesn't bother me much. How many find their forever love before that time, well not that many. And I do believe we got a few "forever" storylines on Buffy but they ended in death or with some special circumstances, so I can deal with that. BtVS and AtS is pretty special when it comes to presenting the romantic aspect, I care much more for the relationships here than I do in any other shows. I think it was well done.

 

[Still a Scoobie]

maybe a little bit, since I'm one of those people who believe some loves can actually last a whole lifetime, and can survive life stress/difficulties. It makes me a little sad to think of how many romantic relationships in the Buffyverse fail in the end. But maybe from a television stand point though, those types of steady and successful relationships might bore the viewer. I think most viewers generally want constant change/evolution of the story and the characters.

It makes me sad too, and I certainly could stand to see a few more happily ever afters BUT, over the course of the lifetime of any given group of let's say 10 people, I bet the number of steady and successful relationships would correlate well with the number of such relationships in Buffy. Particularly if, as Blaze points out, you looked at that group of 10 up to the age of 22. Alright, maybe the death and doom quotient is a little higher in Buffy than real life but that's just Joss/TV.

 

[Lyri]

Because it's dramatic and exciting and it keeps people watching. Everyone being happy and living all peacefully together doesn't create much drama and TV shows rely on drama to keep people coming back week after week.

I certainly don't think it's something that's a problem for BtVS and BtVS alone, otherwise the Supernatural fandom would be perfectly happy right now.

All shows are the same - as soon as a couple settle down and look happy, one of them dies, or becomes evil, or loses their memory, or gets sick or any of a hundred plot twists you can think of.

It's the nature of television and any kind of writing that is to be consumed by the general public. Everyone always goes for the hurt.

 

[Xin Rong]

Cordellia flings from some jock, to a bunch of college boys, to johnathan, to Xander, then breaks up with him...

?

Who's Johnathan?

I don't find it depressing, I think the monotony of people thinking romantic relationships equates to happiness is a little boring, but I don't think it's depressing.

 

[EVIL UU]

The portrayal of relationships on BtVS is just ludicrous. It's full on soap opera drivel - star-crossed ( back from the ) dead evil twin lover garbage. But you know what I find the lamest? The relationships end because of external circumstances. The characters are not to blame, they are perfect for each other and their relationships do not fall apart because they both screw up, get bored, find someone better and so on. No, of course not. Buffy/Angel? Oh, that's the curse, you totally can't blame Buffy for allowing an older guy to use and then humiliate her, that's the evil Angelus! It's not Willow's abuse that causes her relationship with Tara to fall apart, it's Tara's death, that evil Warren! Anya's and Xander's relationship ultimately does not fall apart because Xander leaves Anya at the altar, it's Anya's death that ends it, all because of that evil first evil. Oz does not cheat on Willow, it's the big bad wolf!

Give me a break.

Yeah, yeah, Xander/Cordelia is not like this, an exception. Buffy/Riley is interesting because they both do screw up and yet the writers still felt the need to make Riley a cheater just to keep Buffy relatively blameless. Oh poor Buffy, it totally is not her bullshit that destroys the relationship, it's Riley's fault!

Basically, romantic relationships are the weakest part of this show. The fact that there are people who are so crazy about them boggles my mind.

---------- Post added at 02:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:10 PM ----------
[MENTION=12670]AnthonyCordova[/MENTION]

those types of steady and successful relationships might bore the viewer. I think most viewers generally want constant change/evolution of the story and the characters.

You can do that with a stable relationship - it's just harder. Xander/Anya is kinda like that. Their relationship lasts 5 seasons, longer than any other, and both characters change and evolve a lot because they are together.

 

[The Thirst Evil]

You forgot Wesley/Fred. Probably the most ill-fated of all the Buffyverse relationships.

 

[thetopher]

The portrayal of relationships on BtVS is just ludicrous. It's full on soap opera drivel - star-crossed ( back from the ) dead evil twin lover garbage. But you know what I find the lamest? The relationships end because of external circumstances. The characters are not to blame, they are perfect for each other and their relationships do not fall apart because they both screw up, get bored, find someone better and so on. No, of course not. Buffy/Angel? Oh, that's the curse, you totally can't blame Buffy for allowing an older guy to use and then humiliate her, that's the evil Angelus! It's not Willow's abuse that causes her relationship with Tara to fall apart, it's Tara's death, that evil Warren! Anya's and Xander's relationship ultimately does not fall apart because Xander leaves Anya at the altar, it's Anya's death that ends it, all because of that evil first evil. Oz does not cheat on Willow, it's the big bad wolf!

Give me a break.

Yeah, yeah, Xander/Cordelia is not like this, an exception. Buffy/Riley is interesting because they both do screw up and yet the writers still felt the need to make Riley a cheater just to keep Buffy relatively blameless. Oh poor Buffy, it totally is not her bullshit that destroys the relationship, it's Riley's fault!

Basically, romantic relationships are the weakest part of this show. The fact that there are people who are so crazy about them boggles my mind.

---------- Post added at 02:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:10 PM ----------
[MENTION=12670]AnthonyCordova[/MENTION]


You can do that with a stable relationship - it's just harder. Xander/Anya is kinda like that. Their relationship lasts 5 seasons, longer than any other, and both characters change and evolve a lot because they are together.

Interesting take. Kinda wrong, but interesting.

Angel left Buffy. He made a choice, all noble and stuff but he left her. His choice.
Xander cheats on Cordelia, Xander leaves Anya at the alter. His choice.
Willow and Oz don't get back together because she falls in love with Tara, she makes a choice- one over the other.
Riley chose to leave Buffy. He was feeling neglected because, like, her Mom was dying and she was making it all about her...what a bitch! Buffy's so self-absorbed. Still Riley chooses to leave and go and be a soldier. Great.
Buffy chooses to break up with Spike, for her own good, she's not made to by outside sources.
Willow chooses to break up with Kennedy...etc.
Are we seeing a pattern yet?
Outside forces create some of the tension and drama but not all. Sometimes it ends the relationship (Jenny Calendar, Tara) but usually not.
Characters break up because of character stuff, that's what makes the show different from a lot of others.

Oh and Xander and Anya arguable grew the least out of all the relationships. The writers had (unfortunately) run out of interesting things for either of them to do by S7, they're not the best example to use to make your point.
I mean, I genuinly don't know why Anya lingered around after 'Selfless', as a character arc it makes no sense.

---------- Post added at 10:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:35 PM ----------

Oh, and what outside force broke up Wesley and Virginia? Or Gunn and Fred (Wesley as plot device?). It applies to AtS as well. Although Cangel does get screwed over by outside forces, one of the reasons I don't care for it that much.

 

[Xin Rong]

I mean, I genuinly don't know why Anya lingered around after 'Selfless', as a character arc it makes no sense.

"Vengeance is what I do, Halfrek. I don't need anything else. Vengeance is what I am."
―Anyanka[src]

Take venegance the only other thing Anya knows is the scoobies, that's why she stays IMO.

p.s. I agree with the rest of your post, external forces are metaphors for the relationship problems, but the success/failure of those relationships are the individual character's choices

 

[EVIL UU]

[MENTION=12614]thetopher[/MENTION]
This is just grasping at straws.

Angel left Buffy. He made a choice, all noble and stuff but he left her. His choice.

Angel leaves because he can't be with Buffy which is caused by outside circumstances. And it's not noble. One moment of pure happiness and he's gone. What kind of a choice is that?

Xander leaves Anya at the alter. His choice.

It doesn't end their relationship - Anya's death does.

Willow and Oz don't get back together

No, because their relationship already ended because of outside circumstances. Those don't change by the way - Oz still loses control and wolves out.

Buffy chooses to break up with Spike, for her own good, she's not made to by outside sources.

I wouldn't call what Buffy does with Spike a relationship.

Willow chooses to break up with Kennedy

It's not on the show so I really do not care.

Oh, and what outside force broke up Wesley and Virginia?

My post is about BtVS only.

Basically, there are two major relationships on BtVS that do not end because of external circumstances, that's Xander/Cordelia and arguably Buffy/Riley.

 

[thetopher]

[MENTION=12614]thetopher[/MENTION]
This is just grasping at straws.



Angel leaves because he can't be with Buffy which is caused by outside circumstances. And it's not noble. One moment of pure happiness and he's gone. What kind of a choice is that?



It doesn't end their relationship - Anya's death does.



No, because their relationship already ended because of outside circumstances. Those don't change by the way - Oz still loses control and wolves out.



I wouldn't call what Buffy does with Spike a relationship.



It's not on the show so I really do not care.



My post is about BtVS only.

Basically, there are two major relationships on BtVS that do not end because of external circumstances, that's Xander/Cordelia and arguably Buffy/Riley.

Again, so very, very wrong. 😉

Angel leaves Buffy, by choice- you might not think its noble, fine. But nobody makes him leave Buffy, he could've mooched around like Spike in S7, he didn't- he left BY CHOICE. Wheter you agree with that choice or not is immaterial.

Again, it's only your opinion that Anya and Xander were getting back together, they could've just remained friends with benefits. (and didn't you point out that sex doesn't equal a relationship. 😛), but they split up to begin with because Xander couldn't overcome his own insecureties- even if they were revealed by outside sources.

Oz didn't think the relationship was over- its why he came back. Willow made a choice she chose Tara, and by doing so it ended Willow/Oz.

There are lots of people called Spuffy's who love the season 6 relationship. Deal with it. You might not like it but its a relationship- even if its just a sexual one.

BtVS and AtS are in the same universe and have the same writers and characters- they also use some of the same storytelling tropes/rules.
Just because your sweeping opinion is inconveiently upset by this other show is immaterial- its all the Buffyverse.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I don't find it depressing as much as I do realistic. Relationships rarely work out, and few get a "happy ending." Joss, at his heart, or at least when it comes to relationships, is a realist.

What exactly are you complaining about? The lack of long-term relationships in the show or the predictable pattern of how they break up?

And just because two characters don't end up together, doesn't mean what they had when they had it didn't mean something. For instance, Cordy and Xander didn't date long, but I honestly believe they made each other better people because of it. Cordy, when dating Xander, learned to be more tolerant, and she found a place with the Scoobies and did good. Xander grew up a bit, and realized that he couldn't get away with everything anymore.

---------- Post added at 01:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:19 PM ----------

Interesting take. Kinda wrong, but interesting.

Angel left Buffy. He made a choice, all noble and stuff but he left her. His choice.
Xander cheats on Cordelia, Xander leaves Anya at the alter. His choice.
Willow and Oz don't get back together because she falls in love with Tara, she makes a choice- one over the other.
Riley chose to leave Buffy. He was feeling neglected because, like, her Mom was dying and she was making it all about her...what a bitch! Buffy's so self-absorbed. Still Riley chooses to leave and go and be a soldier. Great.
Buffy chooses to break up with Spike, for her own good, she's not made to by outside sources.
Willow chooses to break up with Kennedy...etc.
Are we seeing a pattern yet?

Exactly. Our characters made choices, and those choices led to the end of their relationships.

Though, I believe Spike and Buffy were the victims of external circumstances. Sure, you could say Spike chose to wear the amulet and burn, but really, he didn't have a choice, did he? If he hadn't died in that finale, maybe him and Buffy could have explored her new feelings and got somewhere.

Also...Anya and Xander. I'f argue they were on the verge of getting back together. If she hadn't died, who knows, maybe they could have had their happily-ever-after.