As a character, was Buffy too relationship driven?

[Robb Stark]

Personally I don't think she is, but re-watching S4 got me thinking a little bit about it. She's not too heavy with her relationships in S1, but from S2 onwards a huge part of her character arcs involve her romantic interests. Angel, Parker, Riley, Angel again, Spike. After S1 it's hard to think of many instances where she isn't either in a relationship that plays a big part of the show or being sad she isn't in one.

Now, it doesn't bug me, especially the Angel and Spike parts, but I was thinking that might turn some people off.

 

[SlayerFest]

Season 4 was the first season I ever watched. I was 9, and if anything bored me more than anything back then...it was romance haha. But when I think back on that season, I don't even recall her relationships. I mean I do but it never seemed like the main focus to me. Ever. There were always moments throughout the show, in each season, that would center around romance, but it never seemed overwhelming to me. It never seemed like an obnoxious soap opera or anything.

 

[white avenger]

It should be remembered that, with the exception of Parker, who was basically only a one night stand, every one of her lovers was someone who was capable of fighting by her side, so, by chance or design, her relationships basically helped her in performing her duties as Slayer, so, it that could be considered relationship driven, at least it was in a more or less positive way.

 

[Taake]

Short answer: Yes
Long answer: Heck yes!

For me it is definitely a turn off that Buffy is incredibly relationship driven... there are other things in life of importance...
The only thing, later on, diverting her attention from relationship drama was more or less Dawn. Forget her friends, school or job, even her mom (before she got sick)... romantic interests took precedence above all. Even to Slaying (how much time didn't she spend obsessing about being that 'normal' girl with her normal boyfriend.. an ever tiresome theme.)

I know I've said this before but the ever so cringe-worthy line "You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But no one messes with my boyfriend!" of season 2 was for me when I first started losing respect for Buffy as a character. To me she never got better than that line above when it came to the romantic drama in her life.... so in my mind, the girl needed a priority check.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

Best advice I have ever heard:

"Relationships are run by the most insane person in the relationship."

Yes, Buffy is too relationship-driven. But what else would the lead character in a drama be? The writers can't just have the monster-of-the-week, they have to have some drama involving the private lives of the participants. What a rational person would do is entirely different from what Buffy does in a lot of cases - but it wouldn't be drama unless the writers were trying to maintain the cloak of secrecy. But Buffy would not have worked all that well as a James Bond type of character in a one-person drama of "nobody knows who I am" - it would have come off like Hannah Montana.

Not that I object to the path the writers have taken - a lot of the power of the storyline comes from the anguish of making certain decisions such as thrusting the sword through Angel or diving off the tower to save Dawn. The rational thing to do in a lot of cases is what happened with the Judge: steal a rocket launcher, blow him to bits. A flame thrower would have been an excellent addition to their armoury, but no one seemes to connect the fact that vampires can be burned out of existence with a tactic of pump the hellmouth full of gasoline and light it. But that would be a different sort of drama.

 

[dexeded]

Yes. Though one redeeming factor of this trait would be that her relationships were typically pretty long-lasting. But like others have said, Buffy being so relationship-oriented was and is a turn off for me (still love her, though). That being said, it does make sense that she is constantly seeking a romantic partner--she's the Slayer, the hero, isolated. She seeks out connections to other people, both platonic and romantic.

 

[Robbie]

I don't think she was driven/distracted anymore than a real life person would be, my single friends are always talking and taking action to be in a relationship more so my girl friends.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I always thought Buffy was way too relationship driven. This is why I don't understand when people bash "Twilight" and "The Vampire Diaries" for Bella and Elena being so caught up in their men, 'cause Buffy was too. She even made some horrible decisions that put others in danger because she favored her boyfriends so much, but the difference was that Buffy was written as an empowered female character, whereas Bella and Elena were not, so much.

 

[KellGreen]

I was going to say not really when compared to real life, but on second though, kind of yes. She's with Angel (S1-2), then before she's over that mess AT ALL she starts dating Scott Hope (early S3), then back with the Angel drama (later S3), then Parker (beg S4), then Riley (mid S4-S5), then interest in Ben (S5 not long after Riley leaves, then Spike (S6), then interest in Wood (S7). I know plenty of people who like to always be in some sort of relationship, so she's definitely within the normal range, but it does seem like a lot when really thinking about it.

 

[Nix]

I don't really see her that way to be honest. I think it's just life. We grow and our relationships happen and evolve and change etc etc and I think this was just the same for Buffy. Yer she picked vampires and in general life we don't (although some may disagree lol). But it's just a part of life. When we are young relationships are important.

 

[Pike]

I would say No for many reasons. While I loved to watch the the main story arc continue, during a period of 22 episodes a season the show needed more than just story. It needed character growth. It a 90s/00s show so I am surprised it wasn't overkill. To me, with Joss's creation of characters you love, the show was split between a story and a character show. Many shows now has 'character-driven' and less about the story coming to an end. The show was able to do both and well. 🙂

In Season One, we get our high school kids. We get our awkward love situations and triangles. Season 2, 3 & 4 are full of breaks ups and confusion. Probably the best love situations weaving in and out of drama (you have Willow and Xander testing the water all the while the Mayor is setting up for destruction). 🙂

Season Five Buffy moves back into being single and only messes around afterwards. If you think about it, she doesn't really get into a relationship the remainder of the series. Willow/Tara end it in Six.🙂

Honestly in Season Seven the only main scooby left who is dating is Willow, who is brushing the surface with Kennedy.🙂

I do believe there are specific shows or sections of seasons that allow filler episodes to play out while relationships seem to be the main focus. But again with 22 episodes to fill..🙂

Lastly.. The relationships and/or the character story/arcs are my favorite parts of the show. Whoever the Big Bad is was always interesting, but if there was a character or a ship slipping or breaking, it was always on the top of my interest. 🙂

 

[sisterofmercy]

Not really. It never got to OC like proportions, but given the audience of the show it makes sense that relationships would feature in a fairly substantial way. Plus there's the fact that Buffy was a teenager growing into adulthood, relationships play a big part in the process I think.

 

[tkts]

Yes. Though one redeeming factor of this trait would be that her relationships were typically pretty long-lasting. But like others have said, Buffy being so relationship-oriented was and is a turn off for me (still love her, though). That being said, it does make sense that she is constantly seeking a romantic partner--she's the Slayer, the hero, isolated. She seeks out connections to other people, both platonic and romantic.

If anything, I'd say Buffy resists relationships and tries to push people away, especially later in the series.

Yes, she spends a lot of the series coupled in some way. But consider this -- somebody who looks like Sarah Michelle Gellar is not likely to have any shortage of offers. That doesn't mean a lot of energy goes into seeking them.

 

[EVIL UU]

Yes, but I don't think that's the real problem. What bugs me about Buffy's relationships is that she's unable to separate them from the slayer crap. Apart from Parker, every single person or you know, undead monstrosity she's ever been with is a part of what she does. Her relationships are just not personal, there's always some stupid pointless garbage glued to them, be it blood, demon hunting, creepy-ass prophecies, you get the point.

I think it would have been cool if she had at least one boyfriend or a girlfriend with little involvement into slaying. Always there but separated from it, like Joyce.
[MENTION=9418]tkts[/MENTION]

But consider this -- somebody who looks like Sarah Michelle Gellar is not likely to have any shortage of offers.

I don't know, compared to the rest of the cast, she doesn't really stand out, yeah, different strokes for different folks, definitely pretty and so forth and yet every attractive woman around Buffy who's not her family member, gay or already dead ends up with a piece of metal in her guts.

I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

[tkts]

Yes, but I don't think that's the real problem. What bugs me about Buffy's relationships is that she's unable to separate them from the slayer crap. Apart from Parker, every single person or you know, undead monstrosity she's ever been with is a part of what she does. Her relationships are just not personal, there's always some stupid pointless garbage glued to them, be it blood, demon hunting, creepy-ass prophecies, you get the point.

But in a way, maybe that's part of the sacrifice she makes. She doesn't get to have normal relationships. She has a demanding, life-and-death job that has a very real chance of killing her before she turns 25. How many people who aren't part of the team could deal? Joyce does, but she's her mother -- she has to. And the one person outside the circle who seems to like the idea, Owen, ends up being shown to like it for all the wrong reasons.

Looking at it from Buffy's perspective, how could you be in a relationship with someone without them knowing about such a crucial part of your life? And looking at it from a possible partner's perspective, how would you deal with your significant other having that kind of life if you weren't part of it and able to help in some way?

 

[Robb Stark]

Yes, but I don't think that's the real problem. What bugs me about Buffy's relationships is that she's unable to separate them from the slayer crap. Apart from Parker, every single person or you know, undead monstrosity she's ever been with is a part of what she does. Her relationships are just not personal, there's always some stupid pointless garbage glued to them, be it blood, demon hunting, creepy-ass prophecies, you get the point.

I think it would have been cool if she had at least one boyfriend or a girlfriend with little involvement into slaying. Always there but separated from it, like Joyce.
[MENTION=9418]tkts[/MENTION]


I don't know, compared to the rest of the cast, she doesn't really stand out, yeah, different strokes for different folks, definitely pretty and so forth and yet every attractive woman around Buffy who's not her family member, gay or already dead ends up with a piece of metal in her guts.

I don't think that's a coincidence.

Interesting idea, and one I hadn't really thought of much to be honest. However, I think if they had entered Buffy into a relationship with someone who had little to no involvement with Slaying, it would have taken away from part of what makes her special, if that makes any sense.

I mean, if Buffy is able to have the nice, normal relationship, then a big part of what makes Slaying so hard, and by extension her so special, is removed, you know?

And you know, this was going to be one of those rare instances where we (sorta) agree, but then you had to go and ruin it with the "doesn't really stand out" part. She's ridiculously hot 😀.

 

[dexeded]

If anything, I'd say Buffy resists relationships and tries to push people away, especially later in the series.

Well, early in the series, it's obvious she's actively seeking relationships. I'd say she only really pushes people away in S6--but even in that season, she has an active sexual relationship with Spike. Only in S7 does she really go with the cookie dough thing.

 

[tkts]

She initially seeks Owen but pushes him away when she realizes life around her would get him killed; strongly dislikes Angel at first; is borderline terrified of dating Scott Hope; sort of falls into the Parker thing; alternately pursues Riley and pushes him away; and initially is interested in Ben but changes her mind. Buffy is really pretty skittish about romantic attachments, all things considered.

 

[EVIL UU]

[MENTION=9418]tkts[/MENTION]

But in a way, maybe that's part of the sacrifice she makes. She doesn't get to have normal relationships.

Says who?

I'm not saying it would be easy but relationships rarely are. Dating a corpse that loves your blood, now that's easy. Building a healthy relationship with another living person? Not so much.

How many people who aren't part of the team could deal?

Not many, I reckon. I'd would require a truly extraordinary person, but isn't that always the case when you're in love?

Buffy's perspective, how could you be in a relationship with someone without them knowing about such a crucial part of your life?

I didn't say anything about them not knowing. Her hypothetical partners need to know everything, honesty is absolutely crucial. They just don't get involved. It's like with Oz and Willow's magic - he's worried, he's supportive but he never becomes a part of it and he never intervenes.

And looking at it from a possible partner's perspective, how would you deal with your significant other having that kind of life if you weren't part of it and able to help in some way?

I'd trust her. Trust that she'll be able to deal on her own or ask for my help when she truly needs it, just like Oz trusts Willow with her use of magic. Without a doubt I'd have to be strong. Also, I'd take a first aid training course.

[MENTION=11975]Always Bangel[/MENTION]

I mean, if Buffy is able to have the nice, normal relationship, then a big part of what makes Slaying so hard, and by extension her so special, is removed, you know?

I don't know, I think it'd be as hard as ever. Buffy would still screw up a lot, still try to keep secrets, still try to suppress her emotions. They'd both have to deal with that, be strong enough to survive it. For Riley, it was too much. I'd find that more interesting than another shallow fan-service-driven vampire crap.

She's ridiculously hot

Yeah, but it's "BtVS", who isn't?

You know, it's funny, I didn't really find her very attractive at first. Yeah, pretty girl, cute, sort of generic. And then there's this scene in "Who Are You" when she's looking into the mirror, right after the bath, wet hair and whatnot and I'm like Wow. She's actually beautiful, who would have thought, Buffy's like, gorgeous!

You can say I've seen the light. Still, looks are not everything.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I think Buffy is a realistic portrayal of a girl her age, who let's face it, are often very relationship-driven.

I have always identified with Buffy and her troubles with dating. Balancing work, life, and love is very difficult. Poor Buffy. She tries to hard, yet never seems to get it right. I hope someday she finds a man who treats her right and can give her what she deserves.*

*...or that she gets her head out of her ass and realizes that SPIKE is that person, and tells him, so they can live happily ever after.