B
Bubbles
Guest
She stood in front of his crypt that night. She was obsessed with him, with what he did to her.
How he made her feel.
It was wrong! Horribly wrong. She knew it and was totally disgusted with herself. He's evil. So evil.
It started to rain but Buffy still stood there one hand on the doorknob. If she opened the door she would be giving up what she had fought for 5 years to uphold, Good always triumphs over Evil. But she wasn't stupid. Things aren't just black and white anymore. Things aren't good and evil anymore. There was a lot of gray area in between, a lot of area not explained and he was one of them. And so was this feeling he keep handing to her, love.
Love. So complicated now. So frustrating. How she longed for the days of Angel. She had loved him with every breath in her body and he knew that. He knew that he could never fill that place in her heart. Maybe that's why he tried so hard to convince her that he loved her. But he didn't love her. He loved the pain. And the sex. So, who's screwed up? He didn't know real love. He was dead inside, cold unfeeling. His heart wasn't beating, maybe if it was he'd understand. She was a person. She had desires and needs. She was human. But she had never sunk to his level before. No until now.
But was she really human anymore? She hasn't felt anything since she came back. She has this gaping hole inside of her. A hole she has to fill with DoubleMeat Palace burgers and sex with him. The evil bloodsucking fiend. Something he said to her stirred the feeling.
"You came back wrong!"
Wrong. She new it was true. She was dead inside. Dead to her friends and her sister and Giles. Dead to everyone except him. For some perverted reason, he was the only one who moved her and in ways she didn't want to acknowledge. Ways much more wrong than anyone could imagine. She had no one to love and no one to love her beside him. And she hated both herself and him for that.
He felt her presence just outside. He strode over to the door and put his hand on the doorknob. A sudden chill ran through her but Buffy didn't move. She knew he sensed her. There was no backing out at this point. She had to go in"¦
No...
Love. She couldn't accept his love. If she did she'd be welcoming more problems than she can handle. Yes the sex felt good but the confusion that came after weighed heavier on her than anything else. It was all she could do to hide this from her friends. Especially when he came around them. When they were alone she could never look him in the eye. And that night when he...well...
"You try to be with them...but you'll always end up in the dark...with me"
His words were true. Whenever she couldn't handle reality she came to him. He made it so simple. Boy/Girl. None of this Vampire/Slayer crap. But the thing is...he wanted to be loved. To be trusted.
Trust, something else he could never have from her. He was evil. Yet she left Dawn and her mother alone with him. She had let him into her home because she felt sorry for him. She took advice from him, put up with him. And lately she has been sleeping with him and trusting him with this secret. The secret of their lust. Their history. Their relationship. NO! It wasn't a relationship. It is one-sided. Half hearted. A relationship was what she had had with Angel.
She was dark. Wrong! Why did she keep letting him in? Why did she keep letting her walls down? No one could ever hurt her like he did. She hated him for it. Hated him because he could move her in wrong ways. Ways that she didn't what him to know. But he did. He knew exactly what his power over her was and he used that to get what he wanted from her.
Buffy started to turn the knob and Spike smiled. He knew she was coming back to him.
No! I'm not going to let him do this to me! I hate him! My friends can help me. Tara can help me. I don't need him.
He's the one who needs me. He's bent. I'm too good for him...
Spike let go of the knob and stood stock-still waiting for Buffy to open the door.
Buffy let go of the doorknob as well and bent down. She placed a single sheet of paper by the door.
Spike picked up the paper and a single tear ran down his cheek.
Three words were scribbled on the sheet of paper, and they weren't the three letters he wanted to see.
He read the note in a whisper and Buffy whispered, "Your beneath me"
Then she turned leaving the door ajar.
How he made her feel.
It was wrong! Horribly wrong. She knew it and was totally disgusted with herself. He's evil. So evil.
It started to rain but Buffy still stood there one hand on the doorknob. If she opened the door she would be giving up what she had fought for 5 years to uphold, Good always triumphs over Evil. But she wasn't stupid. Things aren't just black and white anymore. Things aren't good and evil anymore. There was a lot of gray area in between, a lot of area not explained and he was one of them. And so was this feeling he keep handing to her, love.
Love. So complicated now. So frustrating. How she longed for the days of Angel. She had loved him with every breath in her body and he knew that. He knew that he could never fill that place in her heart. Maybe that's why he tried so hard to convince her that he loved her. But he didn't love her. He loved the pain. And the sex. So, who's screwed up? He didn't know real love. He was dead inside, cold unfeeling. His heart wasn't beating, maybe if it was he'd understand. She was a person. She had desires and needs. She was human. But she had never sunk to his level before. No until now.
But was she really human anymore? She hasn't felt anything since she came back. She has this gaping hole inside of her. A hole she has to fill with DoubleMeat Palace burgers and sex with him. The evil bloodsucking fiend. Something he said to her stirred the feeling.
"You came back wrong!"
Wrong. She new it was true. She was dead inside. Dead to her friends and her sister and Giles. Dead to everyone except him. For some perverted reason, he was the only one who moved her and in ways she didn't want to acknowledge. Ways much more wrong than anyone could imagine. She had no one to love and no one to love her beside him. And she hated both herself and him for that.
He felt her presence just outside. He strode over to the door and put his hand on the doorknob. A sudden chill ran through her but Buffy didn't move. She knew he sensed her. There was no backing out at this point. She had to go in"¦
No...
Love. She couldn't accept his love. If she did she'd be welcoming more problems than she can handle. Yes the sex felt good but the confusion that came after weighed heavier on her than anything else. It was all she could do to hide this from her friends. Especially when he came around them. When they were alone she could never look him in the eye. And that night when he...well...
"You try to be with them...but you'll always end up in the dark...with me"
His words were true. Whenever she couldn't handle reality she came to him. He made it so simple. Boy/Girl. None of this Vampire/Slayer crap. But the thing is...he wanted to be loved. To be trusted.
Trust, something else he could never have from her. He was evil. Yet she left Dawn and her mother alone with him. She had let him into her home because she felt sorry for him. She took advice from him, put up with him. And lately she has been sleeping with him and trusting him with this secret. The secret of their lust. Their history. Their relationship. NO! It wasn't a relationship. It is one-sided. Half hearted. A relationship was what she had had with Angel.
She was dark. Wrong! Why did she keep letting him in? Why did she keep letting her walls down? No one could ever hurt her like he did. She hated him for it. Hated him because he could move her in wrong ways. Ways that she didn't what him to know. But he did. He knew exactly what his power over her was and he used that to get what he wanted from her.
Buffy started to turn the knob and Spike smiled. He knew she was coming back to him.
No! I'm not going to let him do this to me! I hate him! My friends can help me. Tara can help me. I don't need him.
He's the one who needs me. He's bent. I'm too good for him...
Spike let go of the knob and stood stock-still waiting for Buffy to open the door.
Buffy let go of the doorknob as well and bent down. She placed a single sheet of paper by the door.
Spike picked up the paper and a single tear ran down his cheek.
Three words were scribbled on the sheet of paper, and they weren't the three letters he wanted to see.
He read the note in a whisper and Buffy whispered, "Your beneath me"
Then she turned leaving the door ajar.