Best Dirty Jokes on Buffy/Angel

[Samuel Reyes]

Both shows definitely got a lot past the radar.

From 'The Dark Age:'
Jenny: Alright, class, the first thing we're gonna do is... Buffy!
Xander: Huh? Did I fall asleep already?

From 'Beauty and the Beasts': (and Faith being decidedly unsubtle)
Faith: You ever catch kids doing the horizontal two-step out here?
Buffy: No. There's a smooch spot near the woods. That's where folks go.
Faith: Yeah? Bet you and Scott have been up there kicking the gearshift.
Buffy: Hardly. We've only been out a few times.
Faith: But you like him. When you think about him, you get that good down low tickle, right?
Buffy: How low?
Faith: You tell me.

From 'Guise Will Be Guise':
Angel: What happened? Wes, were you in Virginia?
Wesley: That's beside the point...

From 'Epiphany':
Gunn: So, what you just wake up and bang?
Angel: Well, it was sort of the other way around...

From 'Chosen':
Willow: It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way.

(I love Giles' reaction and Willow's use of the word 'wholesome' to talk about sex in casual conversation. Looks as though Anya rubbed off on her a little. 🙄)

 

[Athena]

The 'staking' motion Buffy gives in Hush is a classic.... can't find the gif, but it's pretty funny

 

[VisionBoy]

Xander: Like any of that's enough to fight the Dark Master-bator
Xander: I think you're drawing a lot of crazy conclusions about the Unholy Prince (gets weird looks again)... bator.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

The 'no one touch my magic bone' line by one of the nerds and Tara's comment "where? in your pants" in regards to Spike's muscle cramp.

 

[thetopher]

Wesley: Feel natural?
Faith: Eh, just like riding a biker.

Faith: You're Gunn right? Love the name. I hear you're a good fighter?
Gunn: I hold my own.
Faith: That's a shame.

Anya asking if Tara's ever played 'shiver me timbers' and Tara saying that she's not one for the timber.
Plus Anya's comments about Spike's cramp in 'OAFA'.

Thanks Mr. Pole- I corrected it. 🙂

 

[Wildfly]

Joyce: So, angel's on top again?
Buffy: (startled) What?
Joyce: (holds up an angel and a star) Angel or star?
Buffy: Oh, uh... star. Star.

also
"What else would I wanna pump you for?"

 

[thetopher]

Thanks Mr. Pole- I corrected it.

Actually I corrected only one screw-up and missed the other. 😳
In 'Older And Far Away' Tara is sassily brilliant and Anya is bitchy irrational. It's hard to get them mixed up yet I managed.

 

[vellavu]

 

[Blair]

Wesley: Feel natural?
Faith: Eh, just like riding a biker.

I watched that episode for the first time yesterday and spat out my water when Faith said that.

I also love Dawn's reaction when she's like "Oh! Pierced tongue..."

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Dawn: "It's like a meat party in my mouth..."

Angel (to Wesley): "You were in Virginia?"

Faith: "So, Willow isn't driving stick anymore..."

Liam's "noises" whilst in the loo. (Spin the Bottle)

😀

 

[Samuel Reyes]

Sid the Dummy: "You know what they say! Once you go wood, nothing's as good!"

Giles: "Alright, I place myself in your hands."
Jenny: "Mmm, sounds fun."

Xander: "Oh, I'm up... I'm suddenly very up. It's just, I've never been 'up' with people before..." (Real subtle Xander)

Mayor: "So you couldn't give him one moment of true happiness."
Faith: "I was thinking more along the lines of a long weekend, but OK."

The entire conversation between Spike and Willow in 'The Initiative'.

Anya's suggestive hand gesture from 'Hush'.

Faith taunting Spike in 'Who Are You'.

"You make me come-plete..."
"Tight embrace..."

'First Date': Buffy calling the rum-soaked pear the 'best thing that's ever been in my mouth' and then Spike shows up standing next to her...

 

[Mr Trick]

Sid the Dummy: "You know what they say! Once you go wood, nothing's as good!"

Giles: "Alright, I place myself in your hands."
Jenny: "Mmm, sounds fun."

Xander: "Oh, I'm up... I'm suddenly very up. It's just, I've never been 'up' with people before..." (Real subtle Xander)

Mayor: "So you couldn't give him one moment of true happiness."
Faith: "I was thinking more along the lines of a long weekend, but OK."

The entire conversation between Spike and Willow in 'The Initiative'.

Anya's suggestive hand gesture from 'Hush'.

Faith taunting Spike in 'Who Are You'.

"You make me come-plete..."
"Tight embrace..."

'First Date': Buffy calling the rum-soaked pear the 'best thing that's ever been in my mouth' and then Spike shows up standing next to her...

I love the Puppet Show but I think his kinky jokes are maybe the weakest part of the episodes. SMG sells them like a Pro of course.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

The 'staking' motion Buffy gives in Hush is a classic.... can't find the gif, but it's pretty funny

The reactions she got were hilarious.

 

[gite63]

Family

SPIKE: You want me, Slayer, come and get me.
BUFFY: Oh, I'm coming. I'm coming right- (lunges up toward him)

Cut to Spike and Harmony in bed.

HARMONY: -now!

Not much a joke, but...

'First Date': Buffy calling the rum-soaked pear the 'best thing that's ever been in my mouth' and then Spike shows up standing next to her...

😀

 

[Athena]

The 'staking' motion Buffy gives in Hush is a classic.... can't find the gif, but it's pretty funny

I found the gif!

 

[Blair]

"Lost in ecstasy, spread beneath my Willow tree" Oh the metaphor...

 

[Samuel Reyes]

(Buffy has just brought home a bucket of chicken)
Dawn: I'll take a drumstick.
Willow: I'm more of a breast girl myself. But then again you knew that.

 

[Samuel Reyes]

Sid the Dummy: "You know what they say! Once you go wood, nothing's as good!"

This one becomes funnier in hindsight when you realize he's saying it to Willow.

 

[thetopher]

This one becomes funnier in hindsight when you realize he's saying it to Willow.

A bigger irony would be if he'd said it to Faith.