Best Xander Quotes

[wiccianslayer]

I wanna know what Are your fave Xander quotes out of this list so please vote for your favorites it's multiple choice soooooo

1)
I gotta say something, 'cause I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do, the way you think, the way you move. I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you'd wanna know.

2)
Xander: (in his head...) What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked women. Naked girls. Naked Buffy. Oh stop me.
Buffy: God Xander! Is that all you think about?
Xander: Actually...bye!

3)
I don't like vampires. I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good.

4)
Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!

5)
Buffy, I've gone through some fairly dark times in my life, faced some scary things, among them the kitchen of the Fabulous Ladies Nightclub. Let me tell you something: When it's dark, and I'm all alone, and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero.


The last 3 shall be decided by you post a couple of your faves.

 

[GATEGOD]

XANDER: He's never held back with you. He's risked everything. And you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums?

XANDER: If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there, (shakes head) let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy ... I'm talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need ... if you're ready for that ... then think about what you're about to lose.

BUFFY: Xander...

XANDER: Run.

🙂

 

[Jules]

Giles: Well, uh... something... something, um, very strange is happening.

Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?

I laughed my ass of at this!

 

[Buff Buff]

Can't forget this one...

Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bitca?

 

[disco biscuit]

-Revives thread- ;D
"Evil? Ha! I laugh in the face of evil...and then hide until it goes away."

 

[Hello Cutie]

Xander: 'Oh contraire mon frère!'

Buffy: 'Frère means brother'

Xander: 'Mon girl-frère'

 

[The Ferg]

Oh, you forgot one from The Zeppo:
Xander: I know what you're thinking. Can I get by him? Get up the stairs, out of the building, seconds ticking away. I don't love your chances.
Jack: Then you'll die, too.
Xander: Yeah, looks like. So I guess the question really is: who has less fear?
Jack: I'm not afraid to die. I'm already dead.
Xander: Yeah, but this is different. Being blowed up isn't walking-around-and-drinking-with-your-buddies dead. It's little-pieces-being-swept-up-by-a-janitor dead, and I don't think you're ready for that.
Jack: Are you?
Xander: [tired smile] I like the quiet.

Also: Doublemeat Palace:
Buffy: We need to get that burger analyzed. We need to find out if it used to be people.
Xander: [with mouth full] What? People?
Buffy: Xander! You ate the burger?
Xander: Well, first you say it's cat. Then you come in, hand me a burger, blah blah blah, five minutes later, "Oh, by the way, it happens to be hot, delicious human flesh"?

Those are by far my favorite!

 

[Natasha1988]

Mines Is Definatly.....
Xander: (in his head...) What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked women. Naked girls. Naked Buffy. Oh stop me.
Buffy: God Xander! Is that all you think about?
Xander: Actually...bye!

Lol But I Love The Bit In First Date When He Says "Gay me Up Willow!" I Was Howling At This

 

[Crazy Flakes]

Okay, I have a new favorite Xander quote!

CORDELIA: I demand an explanation!
XANDER: For what?
CORDELIA: Wesley!
XANDER: Uh, inbreeding?

 

[Wanabee-slayer]

I voted for the fifth quote but my favourtite Xander quote ever has to be his speech to Dawn:

Xander: "They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn't Chosen, to live so near the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary."

I think the exchange sort of shows a different side to Xander and how he experiences things, I think it also shows how far he's come! Plus BEST Dander quote ever!

 

[Perny]

My favorite's not on..
classic Xander quote should be there! I laugh in the face of danger...Then I hide till it goes away


Also I would like his penis remark from "Beer bad"... I just love it. Nothing can defeat the penis! *geeky snort*

 

[Wanabee-slayer]

Another good quote is from season 1 when Xander is talking to Cordy at the Bronze....

"I don't know what everyone's talking about, you don't look like a hooker."

 

[Perny]

From Incan Mummy girl
Ampata: your're strange...
Xander: Girls tell me that...before they run away

The Wish:
Buffy: "No luck reaching Cordelia?"
Xander: "I've left a few messages. 60... 70..."

Xander: "But you know what really bugs me? Okay, we kissed. It was
a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we
were ever gonna kiss."
Willow: "Darn tootin'!" (<-- Soo cute)
Xander: "And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean,
this is really all their fault."
Buffy: "Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic."
Xander: "Mine is much more advanced."

Doppelgangland
Evil Willow: "Xander..."
Xander: "Will. Changing the look. Not an idle threat with you."
Evil Willow: "You're alive."
Xander: "Will, this is verging on naughty touching, here. Don't want to fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places."
Evil Willow: "You're alive."
Xander: "You mentioned that... before."

Giles: "Well, uh, something... something very strange is happening."
Xander: "Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?"

 

[Grami]

One of my personal favourites is from Willow's dream in 'Restless' where he says to Oz something like 'sometimes when I think of two girls doing spell together, I do a little spell of my own'.

Always get me lol.

 

[atticus]

My faves:
. We're your bosom friends, the friends of your bosom.
. For I am Xander, King of Cretins, all lesser cretins bow down before me.
. Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? Hey man, how ya doin'?

 

[Aly Fan]

I'm chose no. 5 but my favourite has to be,

"The first day of kindergarten, you cried 'cause you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world-not a terrific notion. But the thing is, yeah, I love you. I love crayon-breaky Willow, and I love scary, veiny Willow. So, if I'm going out, it's here. If you want to kill the world, then start with me. I've earned that."

love it 😀

 

[Bearstrangler]

[Buffy standing in the garden poking a bush with a stick]

Xander: "Hey time for the spring poking already?"

and then theres my favourite...

Willow or buffy: "So what we doing tonight?"

Xander:"well we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledge hammer but hey, we did that last night"

 

[anyatara]

I can't remember what episode it's in, but it's in season 2. I think it was in when she went bad.

Buffy: They're gonna make Cordy dinner.
Xander: They're gonna cook her a meal?! Okay, pretend I didn't say that.

It's just so funny and so Xander. 😛 And according to my best friend the kind of thing I would say, pff, I'm not that dense. 😉

 

[Perny]

The first is my fave.
Xander doesn't need to say something funny to have the best quote. To me this first one, telling Anya how he feels is the best. It shows how Xander is so much more than the "funny guy" on the team. He has dept, and he is so much in love that it hurts. And being able, and brave enough to tell it to the one you love is just so...huge! I mean, I couldn't say that even though I wanted to. Xander said it, and it deserves the title "Best Xander Quote"