Big love - Was it enough or just hurtful?

[Chosen Enemy]

First, I'll say it's not an anti-Bangel thread, not at all! And it's also not a Spuffy or Cangel love thread. I have a subject I would like to bring up about Buffy and Angel, because it came up in my mind.

There's no doubt there was a huge love between Buffy and Angel at the time when they were together (as in season 1 through 3). Then Angel left Buffy and her town out of love for her, he cared enough for her to leave and let her live her life.

Now, do you understand that reason, do you agree with Angel? Not just the leaving itself, but also the disconnection.
In some level, Angel thought he did the right thing for her, and that their relationship wasn't... a good idea, let's say (again, I'm not comparing this to other ships!). Are they better apart, in the personal dimension, was the best thing for Buffy to move on with her life as a human being and find herself some sort of "normal life" as much as she could for a Slayer? Was their relationship really hurting for Buffy/Angel/both?

Basically, I'm not asking if him leaving was a good idea, I'm asking whether their relationship together was bad for them or not such a big deal so they must break up. Those are 2 different matters. Because I'm guessing the other thread about him leaving for her own good has been already discussed. I'm actually asking a different question, hope you understand that difference between both threads.

Was Buffy and Angel's relationship hurtful? There was so much love there, but was it worth it?

 

[Kean]

Loving anyone opens you up to hurt. That's just life. I do think there was a wider window for hurt in the case of Buffy and Angel because of the circumstances of their relationship and how much obstacles were in their way.

As to whether the relationship was bad for them, there really isn't a straight answer to that. I think Angel was right to leave when he did and I think they both needed space and time to grow. I also think that they were the ultimate comfort to each other. I think they gave each other something that nobody since has been able to do. The limitations of their relationship, especially physically, definitely hurt them but I think it is testament to how much comfort and peace they brought each other that they tried to make it work for so long in spite of these limitations.

In my opinion, as much as it hurt to be together, it hurt far worse to be apart. When you love someone that much you will take any part of them that you can get.

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

Every second of their time spend together was worth all the pain.

People will always hurt, especially when it comes to love. First you have to know pain, to recognise happiness.

At the time, Angel did what he had to do. And yes, it was the right thing. Not only Buffy needed to grow up and experience new things, Angel had to. He had to go trough this phase of his life he missed as human. When they grow up in people they have to be, and still feel that the right thing for them is to be together, we'll know their love is that kind of love that can not be broken.

 

[Marisa]

No matter what people get hurt so I think for them it may have been worth it. Buffy really loved Angel and was kind of consumed by him really fast and I think she may have said it would all be worth it.

I do think that he did the right thing but in the end she is a slayer she will never be normal and him being a vampire is not to big of a deal when you look at the whole picture so if he stayed I am sure they both would have felt it was worth it.

 

[brinkster130]

was it worth it?

Yes. Do you think that either Buffy or Angel regret their relationship or would change it? I doubt it. I dont think either of them would give up the time the spent together.

 

[ashsummers]

I think the only bad element to their relationship was Angel's curse. I think they would have been perfectly happy together otherwise like in "I Will Remember You". Although that didn't work cos Angel was human and he wanted to protect Buffy. So Angel would have to still be a vamp just without his curse.

It was hurtful primarily because of the curse, because they had to risk endangering the lives of other people Buffy included to be together. They had to deal with that guilt every day they were together. I really don't think he would of left if it wasn't for the whole curse dealy.

I know there was more to it than that like they needed to grow but I think both could have happily let those things go to be together if it wasn't for the curse. You only get one life why not spend it with who you love. Love is a worthy cause.

And yes the pain was worth it, it is better to have loved and lost and all that...

 

[TaylorSwift]

When it comes to love, you hurt anyway. I think that their relationship, as every other relationship, has its happy and hurtful moments but love is worth it, specially theirs. They were each other's world and they gave so much to each other that I seriously doubt they regret something of their time together...it was clearly worth every single second of it.

 

[TaylorSwift]

brinkster130 agrees: i love your banner! I loved Lucas and Brooke!
GrrArghx agrees: BL!! <3

Awww thanks! Weren't they just amazing together??? 😛

 

[Willow My Love]

If circumstances were different, they'd be together. But they're not, and they both needed things the other just couldn't give at the time, so it was right, as much as it hurt.

 

[dan k]

I think Angel did the right thing. Although they loved each other the curse harmed their relationship, especially Buffy. Angel was selfless in bearing the huge pain he went through to move away.

At that point in time Buffy needed to experience life without Angel for her development as a person. College gave her that opportunity.

 

[Tome]

It was worth it. People go through relationships, they learn from them(sometimes lol).

Oh and, Bangel is forever love.

 

[A Flawed Fashion]

I think Angel recognized that it needed to be done because she was 18 years old and would never know anything otherwise. If they got back together in the future, she would know what was out there and that he was the one who made her happy. They had a lot of issues to overcome and I think Angel recognized that Buffy needed to make the choice about their relationship as an adult who knew a normal relationship better than she did at 18.

The relationship before the break up was certainly worth it. Sometimes love brings pain, but if you cant' accept that or are too afraid of it, you will never find love. The kind of love they had isn't something you find every day.

They grew and they learned from each other. They would never be the people they were in the end if it wasn't for each other. Angel may have spent a lot of time brooding while he was with Buffy, but he had spent an even longer amount of time before that in an even worse place. She helped him to be who he was in Angel the Series. His growth was a process.

Buffy may have had a lot of ups and downs during their relationship, but she loved him powerfully. He was there for her to love at a time when her whole world was upside down. She had an incredibly powerful emotional tie to someone at the time when see needed it the most.

The relationship hurt her, but part of that was because she felt like she needed him so much and she didn't know how to handle it. It was her first love and it was a deep one -- much deeper than most people's first loves. She had never given her entire self to another person the way she did with Angel and the feelings overwhelmed her in a way a 16/17 year old girl has a hard time dealing with, but it was completely worth it to her. They now have that bond with each other forever.

At this point in her life, Buffy had so many new and dark experiences as a vampire slayer combined with a whole lot of teen angst that being able to love someone was incredibly important even if it wasn't easy. He was everything to her and she both loved it and it terrified her, but it was completely worth it. She didn't ever experience that same kind of love again on the show and she needed it to understand how deep love could be as an adult.

I don't think either one of them regret it for a minute or think it wasn't worth it. They both loved each other so much that I don't see how they could.