Birth Control - 50/50?

[Harley]

I pulled this from an "advice" section of a semi-local newspaper (The Daily News) where I live:

"Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year. We split all the bills -- rent, utilities, etc. -- in half.

A few nights ago I asked him how he felt about paying for half my birth control pills, which amount to $40 a month. Because neither of us is ready for children, I think we should spare the expense.

Am I out of line to ask my boyfriend to split the cost with me? This has become a hot topic at work. The guys don't agree with me, and surprisingly, most of the women don't either. What is your take on this?" -- All In Love is Fair




"Dear All: As I see it, there are two kinds of expenses when people share a dwelling: joint expenses and those that are personal. Prescription drugs usually fall into the latter category. Unless you are prepared to pay half the cost of his prescription drugs -- including Viagra -- my advice is to back down on this one."

When I read that, I was shocked - I absolutely disagree! I think if two people decide to be sexually active and have decided, together, that they are not interested in having children, they should split the cost. It takes two to tango and therefore should take two to prevent children. It's not only the woman's issue.

I wanted everyone's opinion on this issue because, according to this, I appear to be in the minority.

 

[T.I.P]

I suppose id be up for splitting the cost, i dont know why someone would disagree?

 

[JenniferAlice]

No one should have to pay, it should be free.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

I'm not on the pill, so I don't know about costs (though I heard that they are free at least if you're under 18, or if you need them for other medical stuff, like menstrual pain...at least that's the way it is in Germany, but I do agree that this is kind of a personal cost.
I mean, since I'm not on the pill, whenever I sleep with a guy we have to use condoms, and not once in my life have I paid for condoms. That's just what the boys take care of. So it should probably be the same the ther way around as well.

 

[hannahfngrl26]

OMG, 50/50 on birth control is ridiculous. Do you expect to buy his condoms cause I dont. My birth control is my choice and therefore my responsibility. I would have it whether I had a live in boyfriend or not. This comes across to me like the chick is cheap and is trying to squeeze every free penny she could. If I were her man I would be like are you freakin kidding me?!

 

[4.O.cious Miss]

Re:

I guess I was raised in an enviornment where the women provide the birth control and the men provide the condoms. I mean, don't forget that there are other things to avoid during intercourse other than pregnancy. So in that way, I always saw it as the men were handling their part, and I was handling mine. Two way street, right? But I guess I could see splitting it down the middle financially, but I would expect the same would go for the female. Is she planning on shelling out half for the rubbers too, or no? And like Abbey said, later on down the road when Mr. Winky's not winking quite as often as he should....Is she going to go half on the Viagra? Cause the little blue pill isn't cheap.

 

[T.I.P]

No one should have to pay, it should be free.

How should it be free? no chance.

 

[JenniferAlice]

How should it be free? no chance.

I should be free..I think it should 'cause lots of people have sex and have babies (or so I've heard), and there are too many people in this dead planet already. No more, no more..

 

[T.I.P]

Ok then, i want free beer and stuff.

 

[Mozzymandias]

I'd be willing to pay half the cost of birth control if i was sexual active with a partner. It's in both our interests that we don't end up with a child because although I would like a child Im no where near the state of mind, finacial situation or anything to be a fit parent.

Very valid point I feel which I'll probably raise next time if i get into a relationship which becomes serious.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

My take on this is that IF the only choice of contraception is is the pill or Condoms in a committed relationship then it should be split.

I mean if neither of them want a child BUT both want to have a sexual relationship then they should BOTH pay.

If I were her, or I had a friend in the same situation, I'd suggest to her to with hold sex until he pays.
See who gives in first on that score.

BUT it is a disgrace that an Agony Aunt would give that advice.

 

[hannahfngrl26]

I should be free..I think it should 'cause lots of people have sex and have babies (or so I've heard), and there are too many people in this dead planet already. No more, no more..

You are so right. And the reality at least in America is that if you are considered "low income" you can easily get free birth control. Additionally if you are not "low income" typically you have health insurance that makes birth control super cheap. I realize this is a broad generalization but I am just saying. No one in this country can really complain about not being able to afford birth control when it is so readily available. I hang out a really awesome gay club that hands out condoms like it is going out of style so yeah, go birthcontrol rah rah rah:: party :

 

[4.O.cious Miss]

Re:

You are so right. And the reality at least in America is that if you are considered "low income" you can easily get free birth control. Additionally if you are not "low income" typically you have health insurance that makes birth control super cheap. I realize this is a broad generalization but I am just saying. No one in this country can really complain about not being able to afford birth control when it is so readily available. I hang out a really awesome gay club that hands out condoms like it is going out of style so yeah, go birthcontrol rah rah rah:: party :

Okay, I can see where you are coming from on this issue. And I cant say I whole-heartedly disagree. BUT free birth control to any stranger off the street could cause problems as well. I mean, if it's free, then what stops my daughter from walking into a clinic at 10 years old and walking out ready for sex. The thought gives me chills. I think screwing would start at a much younger age, and I'm not down with that. Also BC isn't 100% foolproof. I was on it for 4 years before I got pregnant with my daughter. It happens. And also, BC is known to cause several kinds of cancer after prolonged usage, and depending on the person there could be allergic reactions or side effects. It's just too iffy.

 

[hannahfngrl26]

I totally see where you are coming from in regards to your daughter. I know that I most certaintly would not want my daughter sexually active at that age. I dont know about the rest of the world but I do know that to some extent it is your responsibility as a parent to attempt to lead your child in the right direction which you as the parent dictate. I know that the reality is there are kids who are ten that are having sex. Not saying its right and most likely they either have no parental figure or a really messed up one. Should kids have sex that young, of course not but that does not mean they wont. With that being said regardless of age if a person is going to make the choice to have sex I would much rather they have a way to get birth control and be responsible versus not getting anything at all. I know young kids should not have sex but that doesnt change the fact that some do so there you have it.

 

[Dancing man]

I think It should be split if both want sex but dont want children.

 

[Lindsey McDonald]

Okay, I can see where you are coming from on this issue. And I cant say I whole-heartedly disagree. BUT free birth control to any stranger off the street could cause problems as well. I mean, if it's free, then what stops my daughter from walking into a clinic at 10 years old and walking out ready for sex. The thought gives me chills. I think screwing would start at a much younger age, and I'm not down with that. Also BC isn't 100% foolproof. I was on it for 4 years before I got pregnant with my daughter. It happens. And also, BC is known to cause several kinds of cancer after prolonged usage, and depending on the person there could be allergic reactions or side effects. It's just too iffy.

I have to go with Hannah on this one. If a kid is going to have sex at such a young age, they're going to have sex at such a young age. People underestimate kids. The availability of contraception isn't really an encouragement at all. I'd rather have them educated and safe than ignorant and pregnant.

 

[white avenger]

If the couple in question "split the bills" then there should be no question. Medical bills, including prescription drugs, should be shared just like the food, rent, or utilities.

 

[Lily]

As someone who did split the cost in my last relationship - we bought condoms with the weekly grocery shopping, and all our bills were split (joint account) including medical expenses, the thought that it's 'my body, my responsibility' is ridiculous to me. If I got pregnant because there was no birth control, it would be BOTH of our responsiblity to decide the best thing to do. That's what a relationship is!
I think the same about cold and flu medicine and anitbiotics too, because it's so you BOTH aren't sick, or so you BOTH don't think, whoops we made a baby.

That Agony Aunt was ridiculously closed minded.

 

[Airam]

I'm a little shocked by those of you that are so set in the mantra that its soley up to the guy to buy condoms and up to the girl to buy the pill. When I first started having sex I wasn't on the pill right away. I believe if you're ready to have sex you are ready to take responsibility for yourself and not leave anything to chance, and to me that includes just assuming that because he's a guy he will have a condom. I always had comdoms with me, it was just the responsible thing. Having sex includes two people so why should it be left just up to him. Now, if you aren't in a committed relationship you can't very well expect your flavor of the month to split the pill cost with you but if its your serious boyfriend who gets to have sex with you on a regular basis (and most likely without a condom, if the two of you are exclusive and tested for diseases) I don't see a single good reason why he shouldn't offer to pay half the cost of the pill.

 

[caitaintdead]

This seems so simple - if you've both decided to go halves in the cost of living then birth control is included in this. Of course I would be willing to pay for the half the amount for viagra if that's what I wanted.
Personally my partner and I don't split the costs of everything straight down the middle because we're both quite generous with our money and things have a way of evening themselves out... well... mostly! I've had four boyfriends where the pill has been an issue, one offered to pay for it outright because I didn't have the cash for it and he didn't want me getting pregnant, one said he was to broke to offer, one bought it for me a few times but my current boyfriend has never offered...
At the end of the day though, it's only money, and if a couple is having serious issues over it then there's something very wrong with the way the relationship is heading.