I have had my share of rough breakups, which is sad, since I always believed that there is no reason why people can't stay friends after a breakup (not friends with benefits, but legitimate friends), unless cheating was involved. Then it is understandable that emotions can be hurt enough to prevent a lasting friendship. Friendship is trust, trust that you can share yourself with another person and they can accept you for all your strengths and weaknesses, and appreciate what makes you individual and special. It is a sad states that real life doesn't get to work out with that kind of neat and tidy format. Several of my ex's are also ex-friends. They were angry because we broke up and didn't care that the breakup was to preserve the friendship. That kind of selfish all or nothing attitude has ended the chance of what could have been great friendships. It wasn't like I didn't treat them well, they just felt bruised egos and got angry.
One started do to me what she did with all her boyfriends (ignored them and made them come to see her only, no call, no show). That was the only time I have never broken up with a person in person, and in fact, I didn't say a word to her. I stopped showing up. Instead of swallowing her pride, she never called to see what was going on, she just took it to heart (which was kinda the point) and decided that I was being distant (she was the master of the obvious). We had a great thing, I was more than content to see where we were going in the relationship, but she wanted to play games. I don't. Ever.
I talked to her roommate about the situation after the ex and I saw each other around after all this time. (She sent her roommate to find out what happened.) I explained my position (why should I be the only one to call or come over, Why does she want me to prove my love EVERY SINGLE DAY, something I actually like to do on my own terms, not because someone is forcing the issue down my throat. Etc.) Even her best friend agreed with me that she was just playing an annoying game, and had spent a long time pissed off that it backfired in her face (yes, I am suppose to feel like an *ss for not playing along).
Relationships are a wonderful thing, as you have your life enriched by others and can enrich others lives, in turn. I understand (and enjoy the "games" of discovery that we play when we first start a relationship. It is just time to stop playing and take the other person into account when you decide to take it to the next level.
