BtVS Welcome to the Hellmouth 2012 Edtion

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Just a peek at what Sunnydale would be like in 2012
Questions comments always welcomed

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Welcome to the Hellmouth 2012 edtion

Nichlous Woodward 11/13/2012 8:00 AM


Xander: Runs up the steps of the school to catch up to a red haired girl. Hey Will just the person I wanted to see

Willow: Hey Xander what’s up?

Xander: Will I’m having trouble with a class.

Willow: Oh what class?

Xander: Math. I figured you where the girl to see.

Willow: I’m totally your girl… What are you having trouble with?

Xander: The math.

Willow: Pulls up out her smartphone and pulls up Xander’s school records. I see your point. Oh
I got it! All you need is to look up the site about Theories in trig it could help you understand it better you can use the schools library terminal.

Xander: it frightens me how easy you do that Will.

Willow: Oh it’s nothing you should see my rig at my house. It really hums Water cooled and everything...Hey that’s cool the school just accepted a transfer student. She transferred from Hemery High in L.A.

Xander: She...Is she hot? What’s her name?

Willow: Shallow much? How can you ask about her looks before her name? Willow looks at the screen and what kind of name is Buffy?

Xander: Points to the phone. Pull up her Facebook page.

Willow: On it…huh that’s odd no updates in the last year her last update was a year ago. All it
says is… I hate my new life.

Xander: Looks over Willows shoulder. Hey she is hot. But what’s up with the cryptic update to her FB page?

Willow: Willow flips screens on her phone. That’s odd her files from Hemery High are incomplete.

Xander: Uh oh someone’s found another mystery.



A Jeep pulls up to the school

Buffy checks her phone for text but there’s nothing.

Joyce: Look lets enjoy our fresh new start here ok?

Buffy: Sure mom should be fun starting over again meeting new friends...Seeing as my olds don’t think I exist anymore she shows her mom her quite phone with no messages.

Joyce: Don’t be this way now I have to get your sister to school you be good.
Buffy hops out of the Jeep. Relax mom I will try not to get kicked out of school my first day.

Joyce: Don’t joke like that.

Buffy: looks back her sister in the back seat: Mom Dawns got my earrings again!

Joyce: Opps gotta go. And she punches the accelerator down and speeds off.

Buffy storms off

End of teaser
 
What was it you said about my stuff, that I write the same as you?

The first line is:
XANDER: Runs up the steps of the school to catch up to a red haired girl. Hey Will just the person I wanted to see.

Runs up the steps of the school to catch up to a red haired girl.
That is a statement of action, not what Xander said.
In the next sentence Xander calls to Willow, then says what he needs to say. So use a comma after Will.

It should look like this.
Xander runs up the steps of the school, he wants to catch up with the red haired girl.

XANDER: Hey Will., just the person I wanted to see.

Also as Will is an abbreviation of her name (Willow) a full stop should be after the abbreviation.
 
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