Buffy and Her Friends in S6

[sosa lola]

Do you think her friends were there for her as they should be? Why weren't they there for her like they used to be in high school? What changed now?

The difference between adulthood and childhood, when the three Scoobies were students, they had no responsibilities and they saw each other all the time. Xander and Willow were two losers with no life, and that helped them be there for Buffy every second. By S6, the three friends didn't see each other every second because Xander had a job, a fiancée and a life of his own. Willow also had college. It made it harder for the three to meet every single second.

I thought the Scoobies were there for Buffy in the beginning when it was obvious that she was having problems adjusting to being alive. After Tabula Rasa, Willow's break up with Tara and her magic issues took the best of her and her time. She started to be more focused on her issues than Buffy's issues, which was understandable. I do think Willow should have left the house to her room in the dorm or at least tried to get a job to help Buffy out.

Some say that Buffy's friends didn't understand her well, which was understandable. How can they understand her if she doesn't let them in? In Seeing Red when Buffy was talking to Xander that her life was not his concern, he replied bitterly that it used to be. It's not his fault she won't open up to him or his friends.

Buffy thought that they didn't wanna know, which probably was, but in the end, they should. She can't blame them for not being there if she won't tell them she had a problem. She was acting like she was all right and she wasn't. Everybody tried to help, and believe it or not, Willow's attempt to make Buffy forget was also about her trying to make Buffy feel better. Xander helping her with fixing windows and bringing his best guys for the pluming, watching over Dawn and taking her to school. Buffy would have just said the word and everyone will be there to lend a hand. But she didn't.

I guess since Buffy started to pretend she got over being-in-heaven, everybody thought she really was. Tara wasn't able to be there for Buffy until Buffy came to her and opened up to her. If Buffy opened up to Xander or Willow, I'm sure they would be there for her. They were there for her in Gone and Normal Again, when she sat down with them and talked about her problem. When she complained they listened, but she didn't complain, she pretended she was alright and since both Xander and Willow had their own set of problems, they couldn't be there to watch Buffy every day trying to see if she was still in depression.

I can see why Spike was able to be there for her. He was in love with her, obsessed with her, he had no life, no responsibilities. All his time was for Buffy. That helped him break into the solid wall she had built around herself.

 

[Wiccaness]

i think your right. One thing some of my teachers say is "see the faces around you, well say good bye, because after high school, you'll probably never see them again." and it might be true, every body splits up and goes off to do their own thing.
I think thats what happened with the scoobies. Except that they still went to the same school, most of them, and they still tried to be together. But they all found new things that kept them busy. After a little while they all realized that they were pulling apart, and tried to fix it, but it wasnt like in high school.


I think that the reason they werent their for buffy, was mostly because they didnt know, or they were dealing with their own thing.IM sure that the other scoobies would have also wanted buffy to be there for them and vive versa, but some found support in something else, Buffy and spike for example.

 

[Kean]

Honestly, I don't know if the Scoobies were ever really there for Buffy as much as they were for each other. They never had much understanding of what she was going through and I don't think they really wanted to. Buffy was the slayer and therefore expected to take care of them, not the other way around. I mean just look at them bringing her back. It was for their benefit not Buffy's. Their total lack of regard for her was perfectly displayed by them leaving her in her coffin! Where did they think she was going to come from? And they were smart people, Willow is extremely intelligent, did she really think a SLAYER, possibly THE Slayer would go to hell? and if she was unsure why didn't she find some way to check? If she could bring her back surely she could do a spell to make sure she was happy and at peace. There was always a double standard for Willow/Xander and Buffy. So much more was expected from her than from them in simialr situations. Willow went nuts when her lover died, she killed someone and tried to end the world but she was never made feel bad by her friends for what she did to get through her pain. Buffy on the other hand has to kill the love of her life, she can't handle the situation so she runs away for the summer. Yet she gets treated like s**t by her friends when she returns because of what she put them through? How is that fair? I love the Scoobies but they are an extremely hypocritical, self righteous bunch!

 

[Nabila]

I think that in S6 there was no way Buffy's friends could be a comfort to her. She was forced out of a wonderful place where she told Spike she was happy and complete. Willow was waiting for Buffy to thank her for bringing her back because Willow was already, as Giles said, arrogant at this point. She was not concerned about Buffy's emotional, spiritual or physical health. Willow wanted recognition from the woman who plucked her out of her mediocre existence in high school. I was expecting Willow to at any moment say: See what I can do now Buffy.

But in fairness, I suppose Willow and Xander did want Buffy back because they missed her. They just didn't know the gravity of what they had done. And it really is not Buffy's style to just openly blame them for her misery. And as Keanoite mentioned, Buffy had a bad experience with the Scoobies after she came back from L.A. They just expected her to explain herself like she is not entitled to grieve in private. I think this is why Buffy chose to keep quiet because explaining to them where she has really been might just rub them the wrong way, especially Willow.

Despite the mess here, I still believe that Buffy and Willow are truly soulmates. Their special circumstances just made their own problems and problems with each other more intense than others .

 

[Frenchy Faith]

I don't think it's fair to say that the Scoobies are "an extremely hypocritical, self righteous bunch". I mean... what happens is pretty normal... it's what happens to everyone after they leave High School... people lose touch, they have a different life to lead, everything is different because they're becoming adults.

In their case, they're not actually losing touch, which is more than you could say for other people. And I don't understand how you can really blame them for focusing on their lives... I mean, fair enough Buffy was going through a tough time, but like it's been said before, the Scoobies tried to understand her feelings after they brought her back (even though they didn't succeed)... but she never really confided in them... there is only so much you can do when someone won't talk to you about how they are feeling...

I agree on the fact that Willow & Tara (and then just Willow) should have been helping with money matter since they were living under B's roof... but apart from that, I don't see Willow as a bad person for not being focusing into her problem. I mean I'm not saying she was right... but the way she fell into addiction make you think that maybe she needed to go through that to build her character, understand the limits of magic etc. And then detox was hard enough for her physically and psychologically... how could she have cared about someone else?

As for Xander, well, when you move in together with your partner, when you've got a job and begin your adult life, it's a bit though to manage to fit everything in at once...

They've been there for Buffy before... fair enough B is the one who's supposed to save them most of the time... but I mean, they helped B a whole lot through S5 with Dawn when her mother died... they are always ready to land a hand for research (the boring part), Xander tried to get her a job, they all showed support by coming to visit her at Doublemeat... how much do you expect from them?

 

[Kean]

I don't know maybe for them to not kick her out of her own home? Look don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Scoobies but I don't think they are this flawless 'Friends-like' group...they have let each other down time and again, they have done things to each other that I don't know will ever be competely forgiven or forgotten and I still maintain that they are hypocritical ad self righteous. But they are still together, they are still the Scoobies and that does say alot for them but that doesn't make any of what I said unjustified.

 

[sosa lola]

I love the Scoobies but they are an extremely hypocritical, self righteous bunch!

I think that's a little unfair. Sure, Xander and Willow aren't perfect, but they always tried as much as they can to be there for Buffy. Fans are used to see things from Buffy's POV and therefore sympathize with her more, but how about seeing things from Xander or Willow's POVs. Maybe you'll get to understand them more and sympathize with them more.

 

[Kean]

I think that's a little unfair. Sure, Xander and Willow aren't perfect, but they always tried as much as they can to be there for Buffy. Fans are used to see things from Buffy's POV and therefore sympathize with her more, but how about seeing things from Xander or Willow's POVs. Maybe you'll get to understand them more and sympathize with them more.

Maybe, I do actually really love Xander, not so much Willow and I will be the first to acknowledge that Buffy can be and uber-bitca herself but I still can't help but feel that they didn't really see Buffy's side. Maybe alot of that had to do with Willow and Xander literally knowing each other since they were in nappies, they already understood each other so well. I have looked at if from Willow, Xander and Giles's perspectives and I still feel the same way. Sorry!

 

[Frenchy Faith]

I don't know maybe for them to not kick her out of her own home? Look don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Scoobies but I don't think they are this flawless 'Friends-like' group...they have let each other down time and again, they have done things to each other that I don't know will ever be competely forgiven or forgotten and I still maintain that they are hypocritical ad self righteous. But they are still together, they are still the Scoobies and that does say alot for them but that doesn't make any of what I said unjustified.

Of course they're not this flawless-like group... something like that does not exist. And B let her friends down too... you could say she was too self-centered and never really realised that Will needed help until bad damage had been done... in S3, B completely dropped Willow & Xander for a while to hang out with Faith... the Scoobies are not the only ones who wronged the others... no one is perfect
I'm not saying what you said is unjustified, I'm just saying you maybe expect too much from them... the point is to picture what people are like, again no one's perfect and given all the circumstances I pointed out before, I do think they're doing their best to juggle with everything and that's what count...

 

[sosa lola]

You have looked what? 🙂 in Empty Places, I actually sympathized with Xander, he was blindly following Buffy and was understanding that she didn't want to spend time with him at the hospital, but he couldn't go back to the same place where he lost his eye, especially when Giles revealed that Buffy didn't trust them, anymore. It does burn when you give a rousing speech about trusting someone, then you lose a part of your body because you trusted that someone so much you followed them regardless of your doubts, and in the end your discover that that certain someone doesn't trust you or think highly of you. Such a blow.

 

[Kean]

Of course they're not this flawless-like group... something like that does not exist. And B let her friends down too... you could say she was too self-centered and never really realised that Will needed help until bad damage had been done... in S3, B completely dropped Willow & Xander for a while to hang out with Faith... the Scoobies are not the only ones who wronged the others... no one is perfect
I'm not saying what you said is unjustified, I'm just saying you maybe expect too much from them... the point is to picture what people are like, again no one's perfect and given all the circumstances I pointed out before, I do think they're doing their best to juggle with everything and that's what count...

Maybe I do expect too much but I can't really help that. And Buffy is extremely self-centered, I love her talk with Holden in Lies My parents Told Me because it was the first time he superiority/inferiority complex was addressed

Edit:

You have looked what? 🙂 in Empty Places, I actually sympathized with Xander, he was blindly following Buffy and was understanding that she didn't want to spend time with him at the hospital, but he couldn't go back to the same place where he lost his eye, especially when Giles revealed that Buffy didn't trust them, anymore. It does burn when you give a rousing speech about trusting someone, then you lose a part of your body because you trusted that someone so much you followed them regardless of your doubts, and in the end your discover that that certain someone doesn't trust you or think highly of you. Such a blow.

yeah and it must really be a bitch to die saving your friends, only for them to bring you back to life and have to listen to them bitch about you not saying thank you!!

Trust had been an issue with the Scoobies as far back as Angel losing his soul. I'm not trying to be anti-Xander, I hated that he lost an eye but I still think he was out of line.

 

[sosa lola]

But if we can be sympathatic toward Buffy and cut her some slack for being a bitch, can't we do the same toward Xander? After all, he lost a part of his body fighting the good fight. He was being understanding toward Buffy throughout the episode until she was ordering them to fall in line and go to the same place where he lost his eye. In the end, he's human and can't be emotionless toward his loss.

Just because Buffy's pain in S6 was bigger than Xander's, it doesn't mean that we can throw Xander's pain away and not take it to count. We can say that Xander had a worse childhood than Buffy, but that doesn't mean that we throw Buffy's issues with her parents being divorced away because Xander didn't complain about his parents as much as Buffy had complained about them. Both Buffy and Xander need sympathy and should be cut some slack for having problems with their homelives.