If Buffy’s journey is about a girl who is struggling with her calling and how it affects her femininity and life as a “regular” girl, then Xander’s journey parallels Buffy’s. It’s about a boy who struggles to fulfill society’s expectations of men: be an athlete, lose his virginity at an early age, save the girl, get the girl, be violent… etc.
Buffy shows up for her date with Angel after slaying a bunch of vampires, smells of exhaustion and sweat, hair a mess, only to find beautiful, feminine Cordelia chatting Angel up and he’s smiling and having fun. Buffy who should be proud of her accomplishment – she saves lives for God’s sake – is ashamed of herself. She’s not feminine enough to attract the attention of a man.
Xander almost gets beaten up by a bully and Buffy saves him. Instead of being grateful, he gets angry at her. Being saved by a girl meant enduring mockery and more abuse. Getting beaten up earns him more respect than being saved by a girl.
As the years progress, Buffy will harden, her calling matters more, she won’t lose her femininity, but there will be less short skirts to appeal the male gaze and more practical pants (fashionable, but practical). And after spending high school trying so hard to get the attention of men, change herself so they’d like her, and almost sacrificing her life for a man, she learns to value herself for who she is – “No man is worth losing your life” – and she’ll stand high and tall and smiling to the future possibilities in the last shot in Chosen without a boyfriend by her side.
As the years progress, Xander will embrace the traditional female “supportive character” as well as “The Heart” in the Scooby operation – a role usually given to female characters. He’s not an athlete, the way he loses his virginity is a big gender reversal event as his reaction to sex as a connection between two people contrasting Faith’s “just a body to screw” view. Instead of violence, Xander will take a much peaceful approach to saving the world: reasoning, communication (as seen in The Zeppo and Grave) and his job is to provide support and love to the key players – Buffy, Willow and Dawn.
One of the interesting developments of Xander’s character is learning his limits. In S8, when Willow is kidnapped, the witches will be able to open a portal that fits only two people and Buffy naturally assumes that Xander will accompany her, however, Xander surprises her by saying:
A teenage Xander would jump at any opportunity to prove himself and risk his life and the lives of others to accomplish that. Grown up Xander, however, sees the big picture and wisely chooses the most affective solution even if it meant that he won’t participate in saving the life of a friend. (Contrast Xander following Buffy to the sewers to save Jesse in S1 with Xander asking Buffy to choose her best fighter to save Willow in S8.)
“You can educate your daughters to be Slayers, but you have to educate your sons to be Xanders.” Rubel Kuzui
Buffy shows up for her date with Angel after slaying a bunch of vampires, smells of exhaustion and sweat, hair a mess, only to find beautiful, feminine Cordelia chatting Angel up and he’s smiling and having fun. Buffy who should be proud of her accomplishment – she saves lives for God’s sake – is ashamed of herself. She’s not feminine enough to attract the attention of a man.
Xander almost gets beaten up by a bully and Buffy saves him. Instead of being grateful, he gets angry at her. Being saved by a girl meant enduring mockery and more abuse. Getting beaten up earns him more respect than being saved by a girl.
As the years progress, Buffy will harden, her calling matters more, she won’t lose her femininity, but there will be less short skirts to appeal the male gaze and more practical pants (fashionable, but practical). And after spending high school trying so hard to get the attention of men, change herself so they’d like her, and almost sacrificing her life for a man, she learns to value herself for who she is – “No man is worth losing your life” – and she’ll stand high and tall and smiling to the future possibilities in the last shot in Chosen without a boyfriend by her side.
As the years progress, Xander will embrace the traditional female “supportive character” as well as “The Heart” in the Scooby operation – a role usually given to female characters. He’s not an athlete, the way he loses his virginity is a big gender reversal event as his reaction to sex as a connection between two people contrasting Faith’s “just a body to screw” view. Instead of violence, Xander will take a much peaceful approach to saving the world: reasoning, communication (as seen in The Zeppo and Grave) and his job is to provide support and love to the key players – Buffy, Willow and Dawn.
One of the interesting developments of Xander’s character is learning his limits. In S8, when Willow is kidnapped, the witches will be able to open a portal that fits only two people and Buffy naturally assumes that Xander will accompany her, however, Xander surprises her by saying:
A teenage Xander would jump at any opportunity to prove himself and risk his life and the lives of others to accomplish that. Grown up Xander, however, sees the big picture and wisely chooses the most affective solution even if it meant that he won’t participate in saving the life of a friend. (Contrast Xander following Buffy to the sewers to save Jesse in S1 with Xander asking Buffy to choose her best fighter to save Willow in S8.)
“You can educate your daughters to be Slayers, but you have to educate your sons to be Xanders.” Rubel Kuzui
