Buffy as a Role Model

[BuffyElevated]

Kids today need Buffy in a big way. I am watching these shows that my kids like to watch with them and thinking "WOW... these are the role models my girls have to look up to?? I'm afraid for them." Characters in shows today are all too ready to change themselves for the sake of being popular/pretty/attracting a boy/etc. Other characters are so disrespectful to adults and their peers it's sickening, or they're so dumb it's unbelievable. It makes me snarl in disgust a lot of times, and as a parent I have to work hard to talk to my kids to explain why they shouldn't want to be like Sam on "iCarly" or Kat on "VicTORIous".

People ask me why I let my kids watch Buffy as young as they are. My answer is this: because Buffy is a good role model. Yes, there are things in the shows that I do have to shield them from, but there are a lot of things in the shows that have helped my kids. Seeing Buffy fighting the monsters has helped my kids not be afraid of the dark anymore, and seeing her stand up for people who are picked on or bulled has taught my oldest that she should do the same in situations like that.

I'm not saying all kids should watch Buffy. Obviously, as I told a poster who recently PM'd me about why the board is family-friendly when the show is not, we as staff cannot moderate or tell parents what is appropriate for their children to watch. I know, as a parent, it's my job to teach my kids what's right and wrong, which is why I don't let them see certain episodes or scenes of the show (especially in Season 6). But I do think that Buffy herself is an excellent role model for young girls and I wish there were more shows out there who had characters like her.

Thoughts?

 

[wickedtiger86]

This is exactly how I feel. All my sisters are around ten years old and I let them watch a good deal of the show. Though I have banned them all from season six until they are older.

They all ask me questions and we end up talking about a lot of things that kids should be taught. I just posted in my dorm that one of my sisters really looks up to Buffy because she isn't afraid, especially not of monsters. She thinks that's cool. And it is.

And it's great for kids to see main characters to be less popular in school, and instead focusing on being good people. I mean they are all cool and interesting people and just because the rest of the school doesn't recognize it, doesn't mean that they aren't special.

There should be more TV today focusing on that.

So yeah, I agree. 😀

 

[Appelsapientje]

Well, I don't have children myself (since I'm sixteen years old ;P), but I definitely agree with you. My younger sister watches many of the shows like you mentioned, and though she is thirteen and isn't much influenced by them anymore, I can see that younger children would want to be like characters that they shouldn't want to be like. And I also think that Buffy is a good role model. Of course, she has his flaws, but we all have. That makes us human. But Buffy stays strong and gets through everything in the end. And that's why she is a good character to look up to.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I agree that Buffy is a terrific role model - but not only because of the right decisions she makes, but because of her mistakes and how she learns from them. Buffy has an incredible sense of self-responsibility, which is in my opinion, important for kids to learn. That their actions have consequences.

I don't spend much time with kids, so I'm not too familiar with their pop culture, but I'm fascinated by television, and I have seen parts of some kids shows these days, and I'll agree most are terrible. I work with younger teenagers mostly, and the celebrities they idolize are far from good role models.

Not to mention the actresses/singers they look up to - Ke$ha, for instance, who's songs are about getting drunk and teasing guys and orgies while the majority of her fans are 12-14.

 

[BuffyElevated]

Not to mention the actresses/singers they look up to - Ke$ha, for instance, who's songs are about getting drunk and teasing guys and orgies while the majority of her fans are 12-14.

YES. And as much as I love Katy Perry, I hate that my kids do too, because I have to explain to them why they shouldn't be singing along to songs like "E.T."

 

[Lindsey McDonald]

YES. And as much as I love Katy Perry, I hate that my kids do too, because I have to explain to them why they shouldn't be singing along to songs like "E.T."

I wish there were more parents today like you, who not only take an interest in and filter what their kids have access to, but also actually explain the stuff they're being bombarded with every day. Lazy parenting would be much less a problem if the majority of media was like Buffy in message. Unfortunately, it's really not.

I'd be absolutely happy to show Buffy to my (currently hypothetical!) kids from a young age. I'd encourage it, especially for a young girl. Of course, I wouldn't just hand over the DVDs and leave them to it. It's a challenging show for young kids, and you'd need to be there with them to talk about the issues. And perhaps keep a finger over the fast-forward button.

But, yes, I definitely believe that Buffy is a good role model, both as a character and in the whole message of the show and how it's presented.

 

[Kean]

There is simply no way my children will not be educated in the Buffy Summers School of Thought. And then onto the Angel Finishing School. 😛

More than that though, I want Buffy in my (also hypothetical) kids lives because I want her to be a friend to them the way she was a friend to me. I have said often that BTVS is not my favourite show and the reason for me saying that is that is because BTVS is so beyond being just entertainment. Whilst The West Wing or BSG will thrill, compel and move me. Buffy held my hand, whispered words of encouragement in my ears and taught me how to hold my head up high. She was tangible. Integral to my teens. And even today, she is doing the same thing for my niece.

On the issue of music, I'd just like to add that I think it can also depend on each individual child. The first album I ever bought was the Marshall Mathers LP. I was 11 and it turned my whole world on its axis. That album shaped my teens as much as Buffy did. But it is also littered with profanity, adult concepts, violence, sex, drug use...you name, it's there. And I also know for a fact I would have had a far harder time growing up without it. My mother HATED me listening to it but she knew it was important that I keep listening to it. Best call she ever made.

The show and that album don't move me like they once did, but I know they will continue to have the power to move others.

I think it is hard to make universal calls on what kids can and can't handle. I think it has to be case by case basis.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I wish there were more parents today like you, who not only take an interest in and filter what their kids have access to, but also actually explain the stuff they're being bombarded with every day. Lazy parenting would be much less a problem if the majority of media was like Buffy in message. Unfortunately, it's really not.

Aww, thank you. *HUGS* 🙂 I was raised by a family who had deep religious and moral values, and while we're not deeply religious, we do want our kids to grow up to be moral girls who are respectful and take pride in themselves and others. I only wish more parents today did this. It seems too many people, though, have the 'whatever' attitude, which is very, very sad.

 

[Lindsey McDonald]

I think it is hard to make universal calls on what kids can and can't handle. I think it has to be case by case basis.

Exactly. Parents need to know their kids so they can make these kind of calls effectively. Ratings and warnings are only ever supposed to be guidelines for a responsible parent.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I think it is hard to make universal calls on what kids can and can't handle. I think it has to be case by case basis.

I definitely agree with this... Some kids can handle things others can't.

 

[kittenpoker]

Buffy is a wonderful role model!!

With 12 year old girls I definitely get my fill of iCarly, Victorious etc...and so on.... TGFB Thank god for buffy!!!

We watch together, an episode a night before bed, and it has been so good for all of us.

She's a great role model for them, and for me.

 

[Taake]

I think Buffy is a good role model, I think I benefited from having her as a role model to look up to when I was younger. The only thing that makes her a good role model rather than a great one to me is that I find her a little bit too boyfriend dependent, perhaps not a popular opinion, but that's my two cents 🙂

 

[Kean]

I think Buffy is a good role model, I think I benefited from having her as a role model to look up to when I was younger. The only thing that makes her a good role model rather than a great one to me is that I find her a little bit too boyfriend dependent, perhaps not a popular opinion, but that's my two cents 🙂

I think that is a fair qualm to have with Buffy, but I find it more of an issue with the show, rather than the character. I think character actually shows many of the possible realities of being in relationships that young women face.

What I do take the show to task for is not showing a healthy relationship, I don't think there is a single couple that represent how people should treat each other. I think the overwhelming angst of it all gives a rather twisted view of love and commitment. Which is a real shame because so many children don't have that at home either.

Actually, now that I think on it more, the only time we see it is with Riley and Sam. We needed more of that. A LOT more.

 

[sisterofmercy]

I think Buffy is a good role model, I think I benefited from having her as a role model to look up to when I was younger. The only thing that makes her a good role model rather than a great one to me is that I find her a little bit too boyfriend dependent, perhaps not a popular opinion, but that's my two cents 🙂

I agree, but if you look at where she is in Chosen with the whole cookie dough speech, you can see that she's grown to be completely her own woman. So while she was a bit too dependent on guys at times throughout the show as a whole, she does seem to go on a bit of a journey in order to become this mature, independent woman which I think is pretty amazing.

On the whole though I think she was a great role model for me growing up. It was brilliant to see such a strong woman on TV who was still relateable.

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

I completely agree with you.

My brother is not so crazy about tv shows or movies (mostly because he's scared, I took him to see HP and he didn't enjoy it) so he's mostly a cartoon kid. But cartoons these days.. they're so violent and full of bad language. To be honest, I'm happy when I see him watching Tom and Jerry or Scooby Doo.

But I agree, girls in shows today are superficial, self centered and obsessed with their bodies.

My cousin is really, really thin. She's tall and she's thin. Once, I was babysitting her and we ordered pizza, and she told me she doesn't want any, and I was surprised because she loves pizza. So, I asked her why and she told me her friend told her that she's fat and that she needs to eat less. My cousin is 10 years old, and her friend got that impression from watching Gossip Girl.

 

[BuffyElevated]

My cousin is really, really thin. She's tall and she's thin. Once, I was babysitting her and we ordered pizza, and she told me she doesn't want any, and I was surprised because she loves pizza. So, I asked her why and she told me her friend told her that she's fat and that she needs to eat less. My cousin is 10 years old, and her friend got that impression from watching Gossip Girl.

See?? This is what is wrong with the media today. That is absolutely horrible that your 10-year-old cousin is already trying to starve herself from the foods she likes because she feels like she needs to to stay thin. My 8-year-old has told me before that she is chubby and needs to go on a diet. I went off! I was like "Um, NO. ALL kids your age are supposed to have a little extra weight; it's normal. You don't need to worry about your weight until you're much older, and even then you don't "go on a diet"- you live a healthy lifestyle so it's not a problem from the beginning."

When I was a little girl, the media didn't so much focus on weight and body types but my family was always making comments about everyone else's weight and who needed to lose weight and such. It gave me a real complex, and it's something I still struggle with today. I swore I would never let my kids grow up feeling less than comfortable in their own skin, so that is something I fight very hard for.

Shows today really piss me off 'cause all the female characters look the same. All the girls have long, luscious wavy hair and they're all stick thin with no curves. Look at the girls on "VicTORIous". They could be the same character except for their names are different. And iCarly and Sam are built almost exactly the same, except one is blonde and one is brunette. It's so frustrating. Shows like "Degrassi" are awesome 'cause they cast diverse actors in their roles. I wish they had something like this show for a younger audience.

 

[Flannen]

I don't see an awful lot of children's TV but the bits I do catch seem to be lacking in something compared to the shows I watched as a child. Even shows like Saved by the Bell and Sabrina had that kind of fable element to them where they ended with a moral; the characters always learnt something about themselves or about other people by the end of each episode. The TV shows I catch now, or hear about, seem to be much more superficial.

As for Buffy as a role model, she was someone I looked up to when I much younger but I think I took a bit of a break from it at the time when I needed someone to get me through the tough years of being a teen. In those years, I had my teen shows. Joey Potter is probably the person who shaped my teenage years as well as Dawson's Creek as a whole. I have this sketch book that I used to keep when I was about 13/14 and it's just full of all the powerful and meaningful quotes from shows like Dawson's Creek and Young Americans. The lessons I learnt from those shows have stuck with me and contributed an awful lot to how determined I became and the belief I became to have in myself.

So for me personally, it'll be those kind of shows I'll want to share with my kids, as well as things like Harry Potter who has always been a part of me growing up.

I'm not disagreeing that Buffy isn't a good role model, just that I can't relate because I had some time off during that emotional development time in my teen years but I do agree that the things that shaped us as teens, are more wholesome and heart warming than what is on offer today.

 

[wickedtiger86]

I just watched VicTORIous for the first time the other day because my sisters had me watch it. And believe it or not, my hubby watches iCarly . . . I think he's got a thing for the chick that plays Sam . . . oh look! I went off on a tangent. . . again!

Anyway, I totally agree about everyone being so skinny and with the long perfect hair. Young people shouldn't be spending so much time on their image. Being young is about becoming who you are going to be for yourself, not for other people.

And yeah, that's the main difference I've seen between shows when I was growing up and shows today. Of course, shows like VicTORIous and iCarly could have existed and I just didn't notice them . . . But I don't think so. I'm really trying to remember. . .

I'm just tired of these shows because a great deal of them are about teenagers who are famous. How is an average young adult going to relate to that, other than to want to be famous and beautiful.

There is so much more to life than that. And I think it may make them spend all their time wanting things that they don't' have instead of appreciating what they do. . .

 

[Flannen]

There is so much more to life than that. And I think it may make them spend all their time wanting things that they don't' have instead of appreciating what they do. . .

This! This is what shows like Dawson's Creek, Young Americans and One Tree Hill taught me when I was a teenager and still help me to maintain today. That's the wholesomeness I was talking about.

 

[Ms.Trick]

Characters in shows today are all too ready to change themselves for the sake of being popular/pretty/attracting a boy/etc. Other characters are so disrespectful to adults and their peers it's sickening, or they're so dumb it's unbelievable. It makes me snarl in disgust a lot of times, and as a parent I have to work hard to talk to my kids to explain why they shouldn't want to be like Sam on "iCarly" or Kat on "VicTORIous".

When I need to take a brainless, studyless break, I tend to watch Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, and even tough it's reasonably entertaining when all you want to do is watch the tv without really thinking about anything, I always think "I'm happy I didn't have to grow up with series that can have such a bad influence on the younger."

1. The characters tend to be too sexualized for that much of a young audience. Call me a purist, but I don't think it's good to use the word "sexy" in kid's show, or to show girls dressed, hum well... You mentionned Kat in Victorious and I love the way she dresses, but really, what exemple do you give to kids if you show a girl acting that stupid AND wearing so revealing clothes with huge heels? I remember one of the first episodes I saw. Kat was on the beach, wearing a tiny, tiny ensemble, and a band of boys started hitting on her and dancing with her, and it wasn't really hot, but if I had kids, I wouldn't want them to watch that! Sex is also omnipresent in Buffy, but it has an educative value, not the kind of message that says "You'll get a boy if you are sexy/pretty/dumb yourself down".

2.In those series, it's not okay to be an outcast, to be weird, different. The characters who are not like the others are depicted as circus freaks, people who will probably never date or never be cool...Their image is really, really not showing anything like "different is good". It's more "You can either blend in or be turned into ridiculous all the time, and just be there to make the cool/"normal" people look even *more awesome*".
And they seem to ban intelligence. Like with Quinn, in the serie "Zoe" on Nickelodeon, who is much more intelligent and proactive than her camarades and is always looked down by them, from the few episodes I've seen. Or like Bailey in Zach and Cody. Their intelligence and the fact they are unusual are always disencouraged. Yeah, great message. And that's just wrong. With Buffy, you learn that it doesn't matter wether you are a popular cheerleader like Cordelia or a cute nerd like Willow, the most important is that you are yourself, and that your social status does not make you any less valuable than the others. And I think it's a much more stimulating message to grow up with.

3. Too often, girls are depicted as helpless and needing a guy to protect themselves or whatever.

4. Speaking about Icarly, I saw the episode Sam wanted to not be seen as brute anymore and Carly completely changed her personnality. And when Sam was violently pushed by a bully, she said Sam "Pretend it was nothing". Although I'm not fond of learning kids to fight, I don't think it's a good idea either to be like "Yeah, it's a bully, but stay down or you'll be a bad, bad girl".

I was thinking about other stuffs, but I forgot.
My point is, with a show like Buffy, you learn things like: You matter. Wether you are different, or poor, or weird, or rich, or popular, you matter. And you are unique. And you have layers. You don't need a guy to protect you. You are independant and strong.

With shows like most current kids show, the message is: If you are different, you are nothing but a freak and everybody will make fun of you. You have to be sexy, and pretty, and popular and life will be good for you. Oh and if you're a girl, just know that you need a man in your life.


So, even tough I watch these a lot when I have nothing else to do, I really strongly disapprove the fact that it's supposed to be for children.


I think the day I have kids, I'll keep them away from all this manichean, stereotyped crap and show them entertaining things that'll shape their opinion in a better way (like the anime Card Captor Sakura, which introduces kids to courage, love, friendship, family, kindness, and has a very slight introduction to death and homosexuality, like Harry Potter, like Buffy...) But you can be sure they won't be in contact with anything that make them believe that they HAVE TO melt in the mold.


A word to finish: I feel privileged that I got to grew up watching Buffy, even tough I used to be too young to really understand much.