DOUBLEMEAT PALACE
The Good;
Very little, a very weak episode. Actually our first introduction to Halfyrek and the scene between her and Anya is wonderful. Also like Xander's advice to Dawn that if Buffy can't ever have a proper career outside Slaying Dawn can do it for her. Some nice comedy too with Xander eating the burger and the 'Hi, I'm Troy McClure' style corporate training video.
The Bad;
The list goes on. I think if Xander had been working in the DMP everyone would have loved this but we don't like seeing Buffy humiliated (in a non sexual sense)
Best line;
Buffy; "The double meat medely is people. Well, probably not the chicken part but who knows! Who knows!"
Women good/men bad;
Actually it's pretty disturbing that Halfyrek comments most of the time she's not even sure she's cursing the right guy. Love the way that every good point Anya states about Xander is twisted into a negative by Hally. Amy also shows her true colours implying that she's bitter at not having been deratted earlier.
Jeez!;
The severed finger and Manny's severed foot. Note how Buffy is now quite happy to include Dawn in the emergency meeting and show her some of the nastier sights of life.
Kinky dinky;
Actually I think Buffy and Spike against the trash trailer must rate as the most unerotic sex scene in the history of TV, even the most avid Spuffers must admit it's positively depressing. Now as we've all wondered before during 'Anne' surely a girl as beautiful as Buffy can get a better job? (or as Xander put it hasn't she ever met 'any nice pimps'?). 'Pretty Woman' or at very least doesn't Sunnydale have a Hooters or Spearmint Rhino? (or did Mayor Wilkins not allow them as not in keeping with his vision of the place? Even he with all his power couldn't stop streetwalkers to judge by 'Innocence' despite what the Gorch's say in Bad Eggs). Ok when I originally wrote this it was because I was making fun of the Hollywood cliche of a girl as beautiful as Buffy working in fast-food (Last Action Hero anyone?). However after watching Dollhouse or Morena Bacahra's character in Firefly you get the idea that Joss is actually quite keen on the idea of prostitution? Exhibit A; Eliza Dushku as a dominatrix scene? Still after Belle du Jour not as unthinkable as it once might have been.
Then again she's thin, petite, beautiful, flexible, she'd be an awesome magician's assistant. Even got her own identical twin with the Buffybot which you need for many of the classic illusions. The Geeks (and Xander) also like the Vulcan woman from Enterprise, what a suprise. Nowadays it would be Summer Glau as The Big Bang Theory proves. Anya and Halfrek both comment on Xander's large upper arms which makes sense if you're a construction worker (Nic Brendon bulks up noticeably in the final 2 season but I prefer slimmer Xander from the earlier seasons)
Captain Subtext;
As is commeted upon in a later ep the worm thing that emerges from the old lady's head is just one giant penis. It spits it's goo at the straight (or bi girl to judge by the comics) making her helpless but the lesbian sees it, screams and runs away before decapitating it with a vagina shaped cooking instrument. And Buffy's new boss is called Lorena (Bobbit?)
Guantanamo Bay;
Scoobies to the ER;
Missing scenes;
Apocalypses; 6
Wheldon Cliches (with kind permission from Boo)
Scoobies in bondage:
Buffy: 8
Giles: 4
Cordy: 5
Will: 3
Jenny: 1
Angel: 4
Oz: 1
Faith: 3
Joyce: 1
Wes: 1
Xander; 1
Dawn; 3
Scoobies knocked out:
Buffy: 17
Giles: 12
Cordy: 6
Xander: 11
Will: 8
Jenny: 2
Angel: 6
Oz: 3
Faith: 1
Joyce: 3
Wes: 1
Anya;3
Dawn; 2
Kills: one demon for Willow
Buffy: 103 vamps, 41 demons, 6 monsters, 3 humans, 1 werewolf, 1 spirit warrior & a robot
Giles: 8 vamps, 2 demon, 1 human, 1 god.
Cordy: 3 vamps, ½ a demon
Will: 6 vamps + 3 demons +1 fawn.
Angel: 3 vamps, 1 demon, 1 human
Oz: 3 vamps, 1 zombie
Faith: 16 vamps, 5 demons, 3 humans
Xander: 6 vamps, 2 zombies, 1½ a demon,
Anya: 1 vamp and 1½ a demon
Riley; 18 vamps + 7 demons
Spike; 8 vamps and 2 demon
Buffybot; 2 vamps
Tara; 1 demon
Dawn; 1 vamp
Scoobies go evil:
Giles: 1
Cordy: 1
Will: 2
Jenny: 1
Angel: 1
Oz: 1
Joyce: 1
Xander: 4
Anya; 1
Dawn; 1
Alternate scoobies:
Buffy: 7
Giles: 4
Cordy: 1
Will: 3
Jenny: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 2
Joyce: 2
Xander: 4
Tara; 1
Dawn;1
Spike; 1
Recurring characters killed: 10
Jesse, Flutie, Jenny, Kendra, Larry, Snyder, Professor Walsh, Forrest, McNamara, Joyce
Sunnydale deaths; 2 guys from the DMP
95
Total number of scoobies:
Xander, Willow, Buffy, Anya, Spike,
Xander demon magnet: 5(6?)
Preying Mantis Lady, Inca Mummy Girl, Drusilla, VampWillow, Anya (arguably Buffy & Faith with their demon essences?), Dracula?
Scoobies shot:
Giles: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 4
Riley; 1
Notches on Scooby bedpost:
Giles: 2; Joyce & Olivia, possibly Jenny and 3xDraccy babes?
Cordy: 1?
Buffy: 4 confirmed; Angel, Parker, Riley, Spike. 1 possible, Dracula(?)
Angel: 1;Buffy
Joyce: 1;Giles, 2 possible, Ted and Dracula(?)
Oz: 3; Groupie, Willow & Verucca
Faith:2 ;Xander, Riley
Xander: 2; Faith, Anya
Willow: 2;Oz and Tara
Riley; 3; Buffy, Sandy and unnamed vampwhore
Spike; 1 Buffy
Spike; good or bad?
Dawn in peril; 8
Dawn the bashful virgin; 6
What the fanficcers thought;
Cash strapped Buffy (and indeed any and all of the female characters) turning to prostitution is a staple of a lot of adult fic both before and during DMP and indeed afterwards. My favorite has Buffy eventually recruiting the rest of the Scoobygirls into her new profession turning Revello Drive into a high class bordello with Joyce as the madam then trasforming her post-Chosen Army of Slayers into an Army of Slayer/Hookers to fund the new Slayer academy.
Questions and observations;
Surely the authorities must inspect the DMP's produce, don't they have a problem with false advertising? Considering how nicely the Geeks tricked out their headquarters with all the money they stole couldn't Buffy and co sell it to raise some cash? Doesn't Amy remember that she turned HERSELF into a rat and indeed left Buffy and Willow to burn at the stake to do so? Love Dawn's kitten t-shirt. Dawn says she's eaten a lot at the DMP, it doesn't show. I reckon Dawn should be a Doctor, that way she can patch up the other scoobs as necessary. Also note that the Yanus head from Halloween is still in the Magic Box.
Would Buffy have survived without Willow's arrival? I think so, Slayer headling was obviously dealing with the paralysing agent when she arrived. Anyone else think that Lorena reminds them a lot of Ellen Degenerees with a little of Lynette from Desperate Housewives?
Marks out of 10; 3/10, pretty damn terrible compared to what Buffy can achieve
The Good;
Very little, a very weak episode. Actually our first introduction to Halfyrek and the scene between her and Anya is wonderful. Also like Xander's advice to Dawn that if Buffy can't ever have a proper career outside Slaying Dawn can do it for her. Some nice comedy too with Xander eating the burger and the 'Hi, I'm Troy McClure' style corporate training video.
The Bad;
The list goes on. I think if Xander had been working in the DMP everyone would have loved this but we don't like seeing Buffy humiliated (in a non sexual sense)
Best line;
Buffy; "The double meat medely is people. Well, probably not the chicken part but who knows! Who knows!"
Women good/men bad;
Actually it's pretty disturbing that Halfyrek comments most of the time she's not even sure she's cursing the right guy. Love the way that every good point Anya states about Xander is twisted into a negative by Hally. Amy also shows her true colours implying that she's bitter at not having been deratted earlier.
Jeez!;
The severed finger and Manny's severed foot. Note how Buffy is now quite happy to include Dawn in the emergency meeting and show her some of the nastier sights of life.
Kinky dinky;
Actually I think Buffy and Spike against the trash trailer must rate as the most unerotic sex scene in the history of TV, even the most avid Spuffers must admit it's positively depressing. Now as we've all wondered before during 'Anne' surely a girl as beautiful as Buffy can get a better job? (or as Xander put it hasn't she ever met 'any nice pimps'?). 'Pretty Woman' or at very least doesn't Sunnydale have a Hooters or Spearmint Rhino? (or did Mayor Wilkins not allow them as not in keeping with his vision of the place? Even he with all his power couldn't stop streetwalkers to judge by 'Innocence' despite what the Gorch's say in Bad Eggs). Ok when I originally wrote this it was because I was making fun of the Hollywood cliche of a girl as beautiful as Buffy working in fast-food (Last Action Hero anyone?). However after watching Dollhouse or Morena Bacahra's character in Firefly you get the idea that Joss is actually quite keen on the idea of prostitution? Exhibit A; Eliza Dushku as a dominatrix scene? Still after Belle du Jour not as unthinkable as it once might have been.
Then again she's thin, petite, beautiful, flexible, she'd be an awesome magician's assistant. Even got her own identical twin with the Buffybot which you need for many of the classic illusions. The Geeks (and Xander) also like the Vulcan woman from Enterprise, what a suprise. Nowadays it would be Summer Glau as The Big Bang Theory proves. Anya and Halfrek both comment on Xander's large upper arms which makes sense if you're a construction worker (Nic Brendon bulks up noticeably in the final 2 season but I prefer slimmer Xander from the earlier seasons)
Captain Subtext;
As is commeted upon in a later ep the worm thing that emerges from the old lady's head is just one giant penis. It spits it's goo at the straight (or bi girl to judge by the comics) making her helpless but the lesbian sees it, screams and runs away before decapitating it with a vagina shaped cooking instrument. And Buffy's new boss is called Lorena (Bobbit?)
Guantanamo Bay;
Scoobies to the ER;
Missing scenes;
Apocalypses; 6
Wheldon Cliches (with kind permission from Boo)
Scoobies in bondage:
Buffy: 8
Giles: 4
Cordy: 5
Will: 3
Jenny: 1
Angel: 4
Oz: 1
Faith: 3
Joyce: 1
Wes: 1
Xander; 1
Dawn; 3
Scoobies knocked out:
Buffy: 17
Giles: 12
Cordy: 6
Xander: 11
Will: 8
Jenny: 2
Angel: 6
Oz: 3
Faith: 1
Joyce: 3
Wes: 1
Anya;3
Dawn; 2
Kills: one demon for Willow
Buffy: 103 vamps, 41 demons, 6 monsters, 3 humans, 1 werewolf, 1 spirit warrior & a robot
Giles: 8 vamps, 2 demon, 1 human, 1 god.
Cordy: 3 vamps, ½ a demon
Will: 6 vamps + 3 demons +1 fawn.
Angel: 3 vamps, 1 demon, 1 human
Oz: 3 vamps, 1 zombie
Faith: 16 vamps, 5 demons, 3 humans
Xander: 6 vamps, 2 zombies, 1½ a demon,
Anya: 1 vamp and 1½ a demon
Riley; 18 vamps + 7 demons
Spike; 8 vamps and 2 demon
Buffybot; 2 vamps
Tara; 1 demon
Dawn; 1 vamp
Scoobies go evil:
Giles: 1
Cordy: 1
Will: 2
Jenny: 1
Angel: 1
Oz: 1
Joyce: 1
Xander: 4
Anya; 1
Dawn; 1
Alternate scoobies:
Buffy: 7
Giles: 4
Cordy: 1
Will: 3
Jenny: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 2
Joyce: 2
Xander: 4
Tara; 1
Dawn;1
Spike; 1
Recurring characters killed: 10
Jesse, Flutie, Jenny, Kendra, Larry, Snyder, Professor Walsh, Forrest, McNamara, Joyce
Sunnydale deaths; 2 guys from the DMP
95
Total number of scoobies:
Xander, Willow, Buffy, Anya, Spike,
Xander demon magnet: 5(6?)
Preying Mantis Lady, Inca Mummy Girl, Drusilla, VampWillow, Anya (arguably Buffy & Faith with their demon essences?), Dracula?
Scoobies shot:
Giles: 2
Angel: 3
Oz: 4
Riley; 1
Notches on Scooby bedpost:
Giles: 2; Joyce & Olivia, possibly Jenny and 3xDraccy babes?
Cordy: 1?
Buffy: 4 confirmed; Angel, Parker, Riley, Spike. 1 possible, Dracula(?)
Angel: 1;Buffy
Joyce: 1;Giles, 2 possible, Ted and Dracula(?)
Oz: 3; Groupie, Willow & Verucca
Faith:2 ;Xander, Riley
Xander: 2; Faith, Anya
Willow: 2;Oz and Tara
Riley; 3; Buffy, Sandy and unnamed vampwhore
Spike; 1 Buffy
Spike; good or bad?
Dawn in peril; 8
Dawn the bashful virgin; 6
What the fanficcers thought;
Cash strapped Buffy (and indeed any and all of the female characters) turning to prostitution is a staple of a lot of adult fic both before and during DMP and indeed afterwards. My favorite has Buffy eventually recruiting the rest of the Scoobygirls into her new profession turning Revello Drive into a high class bordello with Joyce as the madam then trasforming her post-Chosen Army of Slayers into an Army of Slayer/Hookers to fund the new Slayer academy.
Questions and observations;
Surely the authorities must inspect the DMP's produce, don't they have a problem with false advertising? Considering how nicely the Geeks tricked out their headquarters with all the money they stole couldn't Buffy and co sell it to raise some cash? Doesn't Amy remember that she turned HERSELF into a rat and indeed left Buffy and Willow to burn at the stake to do so? Love Dawn's kitten t-shirt. Dawn says she's eaten a lot at the DMP, it doesn't show. I reckon Dawn should be a Doctor, that way she can patch up the other scoobs as necessary. Also note that the Yanus head from Halloween is still in the Magic Box.
Would Buffy have survived without Willow's arrival? I think so, Slayer headling was obviously dealing with the paralysing agent when she arrived. Anyone else think that Lorena reminds them a lot of Ellen Degenerees with a little of Lynette from Desperate Housewives?
Marks out of 10; 3/10, pretty damn terrible compared to what Buffy can achieve
U
ubi4soft
you're still make me sick with tis review
