Buffy Leaving: Who's to Blame?

[Ripper666]

Who's to blame when Buffy left Sunnydale? Was is egoism from her to left her friends with their problems? Was is wrong she missed her Slayer-mission and put it on the shoulders of her watcher?

Or have we to search the fault at her friends who doesn't seem to understand Buffy? Did the judge her to strong? A Slayer is confrontated with so many problems, should they helped her more?

Or was it her mother who acted to strict when she threw her out of the house?

Maybe it was Giles fault too because he didn't prepared her right for her Slayerfuture? Should he helped her more?
What do you think? Who's to blame and who was right in acting and decisions? Or was nobody there right and nobody completely wrong?

 

[ashleigh]

Well Buffy was definitely to blame. No one forced her to leave, it was a decision she made on her own. No matter how hard things are their is always a choice. I think that ultimately she made the wrong choice. Running away didn't make her problems go away, it just made them harder to face when she returned.

 

[Astral]

I don't think anyone is too blame but I don't think Buffy or Joyce handled the situation responsibly either though. I imagine being kicked out by your mother and having to kill your first love to save the world is heart breaking and she didn't want to face her mother afterwards. I don't think Joyce understood what was fully going on either though.

 

[Kean]

I don't think it is a situation for blame, I just think it is incredibly sad, for everyone. I think Buffy felt like she had to leave and I can't fault her for that in the least. Equally, he friends and family were left thinking the worst and that was torturous, especially for Joyce and Giles. However, I don't think any of them had any appreciation for how truly desolate Buffy was after S2. I don't think any of them, bar Giles, understood how much that year had cost her.

I understand the issues her friends and mother had with her upon her return. I get it, they were hurt and the worry was sickening. However, I don't understand their anger, especially when they did not care to find out why Buffy made the decisions she did. Did they really think she was just off living it up? I honestly don't think they even tried to understand where she was coming from (apart from Cordy, strangely enough), or even ask themselves what could be so bad that Buffy would make these decisions.

Neither party comes off well in all of this, but I honestly empathise with Buffy so completely in this instance that it turns me off the Scoobies.

 

[sosa lola]

However, I don't understand their anger, especially when they did not care to find out why Buffy made the decisions she did.

They were angry because she left for three months without even a phone call to reassure them she was fine. The people who were angry are the ones who loved Buffy the most: Joyce, Xander and Willow. They cared so much and their anger shows it. Oz and Cordelia, on the other hand, the characters who didn't love Buffy as much as Xander and Willow, didn't care much to feel anything about her return. The tight hug Joyce gave her, the tears of relief in Xander's eyes once he saw her in front him alive, the short moment of relief in the kitchen with Giles - those show clearly how much these characters cared about Buffy and were worried sick about her.

I think Joyce, Xander and Willow handled Buffy's return so poorly, but I can forgive them because their anger was because they loved her so much.

 

[Kean]

They were angry because she left for three months without even a phone call to reassure them she was fine. The people who were angry are the ones who loved Buffy the most: Joyce, Xander and Willow. They cared so much and their anger shows it. Oz and Cordelia, on the other hand, the characters who didn't love Buffy as much as Xander and Willow, didn't care much to feel anything about her return. The tight hug Joyce gave her, the tears of relief in Xander's eyes once he saw her in front him alive, the short moment of relief in the kitchen with Giles - those show clearly how much these characters cared about Buffy and were worried sick about her.

I think Joyce, Xander and Willow handled Buffy's return so poorly, but I can forgive them because their anger was because they loved her so much.

I don't doubt they love her, I just loathe their way of showing it. I think Buffy needed love and understanding more than anything during that period and I just hate seeing her so beat up, coming home and being ragged on by those closest to her. I think Giles, in perceiving the pain Buffy was experiencing, showed nothing but relief and joy at her return. He knew she wasn't just being petulant or selfish. I just really really wish everyone else understood her in that way. Maybe that is expecting too much of them, but God, I can't help feeling they should have known.

 

[EvilWillow]

I think Buffy was rather selfish for leaving and not telling her loved ones she was okay.

But I don't really blame her for leaving....that was incredibly sad. I still cry at Becoming pt 2. 🙁

 

[Ripper666]

Personally I blame Joyce very much for beeing drunk when Buffy needed her!
And I think it was not fair from Buffy at all to move away and didn't even tried to contact at least Willow or Xander. Because they tried to help her a lot. The two didn't deserve the unkown!

 

[SlayerFest]

I don't think it is a situation for blame, I just think it is incredibly sad, for everyone. I think Buffy felt like she had to leave and I can't fault her for that in the least. Equally, he friends and family were left thinking the worst and that was torturous, especially for Joyce and Giles. However, I don't think any of them had any appreciation for how truly desolate Buffy was after S2. I don't think any of them, bar Giles, understood how much that year had cost her.

I understand the issues her friends and mother had with her upon her return. I get it, they were hurt and the worry was sickening. However, I don't understand their anger, especially when they did not care to find out why Buffy made the decisions she did. Did they really think she was just off living it up? I honestly don't think they even tried to understand where she was coming from (apart from Cordy, strangely enough), or even ask themselves what could be so bad that Buffy would make these decisions.

Neither party comes off well in all of this, but I honestly empathise with Buffy so completely in this instance that it turns me off the Scoobies.

I understand their anger, but I don't understand why no one bothered to ask her why she left...it was almost like they didn't care, they reacted in a pretty selfish way. If my best friend was a damn vampire slayer and her boyfriend died in some tragic battle...I would expect her to skip town haha.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I don't think it is a situation for blame, I just think it is incredibly sad, for everyone. I think Buffy felt like she had to leave and I can't fault her for that in the least. Equally, he friends and family were left thinking the worst and that was torturous, especially for Joyce and Giles. However, I don't think any of them had any appreciation for how truly desolate Buffy was after S2. I don't think any of them, bar Giles, understood how much that year had cost her.

I understand the issues her friends and mother had with her upon her return. I get it, they were hurt and the worry was sickening. However, I don't understand their anger, especially when they did not care to find out why Buffy made the decisions she did. Did they really think she was just off living it up? I honestly don't think they even tried to understand where she was coming from (apart from Cordy, strangely enough), or even ask themselves what could be so bad that Buffy would make these decisions.

Neither party comes off well in all of this, but I honestly empathise with Buffy so completely in this instance that it turns me off the Scoobies.

I don't think there's anyone to blame in this situation. Buffy clearly had so much going on that she decided she couldn't take it anymore and felt the need to run. I think we've all been there before, where things just got a little too much and we wanted to bail for a while.

However, I totally understand why the Scoobies were so mad and hurt at Buffy when she tried to leave again after coming home. I think they had every right to be mad at her, but yes, they definitely should have tried harder to understand why she ran in the first place instead of yelling and throwing around accusations and stuff. That wasn't going to accomplish anything, and I felt so sorry for Buffy.

 

[FlowerPower]

I don't doubt they love her, I just loathe their way of showing it. I think Buffy needed love and understanding more than anything during that period and I just hate seeing her so beat up, coming home and being ragged on by those closest to her.

I'll just note that Buffy had to deal with a little more than a day of awkwardness and one big fight, followed by Joyce and the Scoobies being totally in her corner on all things by Faith, Hope and Trick. Methinks that the hyperbole of all that Buffy "suffered" at the hands of the Scoobies and her mother is a little much. A day of awkwardness and one fight is a very small price to pay for abandoning your post, being incommunicado for three months, and leaving your crew who has just suffered bodily injury and mental torment because they're unlucky enough to be in your life and suffer your romantic blowback. Seriously, any one who has hurt someone like Buffy hurt her friends and expects to come back with zero awkwardness and no fights leads a very charmed life. Based on my family and friends, I can't comprehend such a thing- I'd get chewed out to epic proportions, if not totally kicked out and rejected by my friends.

And yes, Giles didn't feel like yelling at Buffy for running away. So? People react differently to things. The Scoobies' and the Potentials' reaction to Chloe committing suicide to feel incredibly sad for her; Buffy's reaction was to get angry. Giles and Xander were very angry at Buffy for hiding Angel when he came back from hell; Willow was not angry at all. Just because people feel different emotions to the same thing doesn't mean that one reaction is good and the other is wrong.

 

[Xin Rong]

Blame is a strong word. Ultimately it was Buffy's decision to leave, but to be fair given that she was only 17 and gone through such an ordeal, I find it difficult to blame her.

However I do think the way Joyce handled the situation was wrong, given what had happened buffy needed someone, a rock, if she was ever gonna handle the situation and stay. Joyce failed as a parent in my view, although she also had a lot to take in and it's not suprising that she didn't behave in a perfect parental manner.

 

[MikeyTheWatcher]

I think Joyce, Xander and Willow handled Buffy's return so poorly, but I can forgive them because their anger was because they loved her so much.

I agree, no one really handled the situation well because it was so emotional on both sides.

 

[AmelRIOT]

I think it's no one to blame, the world was going to end Buffy had to get there before time was up but Joyce was just too worried she only just found out Buffy was the slayer and suddenly her daughter was going to kill this boyfriend she loved and was going to give her life, Joyce was confused and scared so she told Buffy she would get kicked out of the house if she left did she mean it? I don't think she did, I think it was in the moment kind of situation she wanted to black mail Buffy so she stayed, when you watch 'Anne' you can see Joyce didn't mean it and all she wanted was her daughter back, but us teenagers over think a lot so when Joyce said it to Buffy, Buffy kind of took it how she meant she didn't think "oh maybe my Mum is saying it cause she doesn't want me dead" she just saw it as her own Mum doesn't love me which a lot of teenagers think. I don't blame Buffy leaving, I ran away from home before because my family broke apart, people were dying and my friends were slipping away so I thought it be the best to start a new life somewhere new but while I left I thought wait I am two young and I'm still learning I need my family and friends as long we stuck together we can get through this. Buffy didn't think that, she was in so much pain she had to kill her boyfriend to save the world the one thing she loved more than anything plus two friends of her died Kendra and Jenny also Willow was put into hopstial so much had happened so she left. When all that stuff happened in L.A she finally understood like me she needed her friends and family she can't look after herself yet. I hated how her friends treated her when she came back I thought it was disgusting but however they had their reasons. Buffy should of told them, left them a message some postcards, she didn't need to tell them where but that she was safe, she deffo should of told Joyce and Giles that she's safe aswell as they are her parents cause Giles is like her Dad and also knows how it feels to loose someone you love. I also think Buffy should of told them that it was Angel she killed and not Angelus but she needed time, so overall I don't blame anyone but I do think Buffy could of at least told everyone she is fine at least with a message or postcard but overall they all came back together in the end 🙂

 

[Oshawott]

I don't think anyone's to blame. Sure, it wasn't the best idea for Buffy to run away, but I think we can all agree that Buffy wasn't thinking straight. She was upset. Her plan probably wasn't to get a job, apartment, etc, it was just to run away. By the time she'd realized that it wasn't the best idea, she was probably scared of going back and cleaning up the mess that she made.

 

[Jodast]

If blame is going to be assigned I think it falls equally between Buffy and Joyce. Essentially their relationship fell apart because they weren't communicating with each other. I understand that Buffy's identity as the Slayer is supposed to be a secret, but given that by the time she leaves at the end of season 2, pretty much everything alive or dead knows who she is and it seems the only person still in the dark is her own mother. Had Joyce been more supportive rather than forcing an ultimatum Buffy may not have left. Likewise had Buffy told her mother why her behaviour was erratic and that she had a sacred calling, Joyce may never have given her the ultimatum.

Of course the situation isn't as simple as a teenage daughter and her mother falling out, there's the whole killing of the boyfriend, being chased by the police and being kicked out of school to take into consideration as well. All in all it was a thoroughly unpleasant situation, some of which could have been avoided had people talked to one another.

Once again, though, it was a brilliantly written sotryline by Joss and the team whereby everything a teenager goes through is exaggerated ten fold and happens all at the same time which would inevitably cause disaster. So I blame Joss 🙂

 

[Grey Ghost]

I've always thought both Giles and Joyce were to blame, but more so Giles.

Giles is her watcher, he should've supported her more and maybe at a push helped Buffy tell her mother. All he's concerned about is slaying and keeping everything secret, insensitive to the needs of a teenager and contary to what he thinks he does not fully know the dangerous life she leads. Throughout the series we learn about Slayers being killed but not so much the Watchers.

Joyce should've have ben a little more supportive or at least tried to understand abut the Slayer daughter she has. Instead, she rejects all the evidence and treats Buffy like a naughty little girl.

 

[Gum Gnome33]

When Buffy left, she truly was lacking sufficient support for any given teenager, but particularly one whose duty it was to save the world at (potentially) the cost of her life, and often of her happiness.

She had, out of necessity, detached herself from her mother so much so that she could lead this secret existence without having to answer too many questions. Joyce, eager to give Buffy the freedom she thought she needed in the wake of the divorce and the move, perhaps unwisely allowed Buffy to do so. As a result, by the time her identity had been revealed to her mother, Buffy was not receiving any understanding--let alone support--from her at that time. In that regard she was entirely alone, so deciding to leave and isolate herself even further probably didn't feel like such a great leap, logically or emotionally.

Buffy was not getting sufficient support from Giles, her father figure, and yet another adult in her life who could have done more to ensure that she was at the very least emotionally taken care of at such a time. Of course, that is because Giles--a human being and not a saint--had just had his love taken away from him as a direct result of Buffy's own love and life choices, nevermind the fact that she was completely unaware of their consequences. That he would naturally detach from her, even at such a crucial time, is understandable and predictable. Not to mention the fact that he himself had been a victim of Angel's and was unable to offer her anything leading up to her departure.

Buffy was also aware of what her friends had been through. Regardless of the fact that she hadn't acted maliciously toward them, again, her choices directly caused their anguish, both before and after Angel's curse was lifted. Without support, time, and awareness, it's easy to see how she could have assumed they'd be better off without her, regardless of how they might have actually felt.