In fairness, Xander was the finest example of a man in S8. He was the best friend, the best boyfriend, and generally the best human being throughout the entire run. I don't think he could have been given a more generous treatment by the writers.
I don't want that. I don't think many Xander fans want that. That's boring. I want a rich arc like Willow's and Spike's. I want Xander to screw up and then deal with the consequences. So far whenever Xander screws up, the writers will shrug and say, "He's Xander. What do you expect? And who takes Xander seriously anyway?" I see no respect for Xander's character.
There was a lot of potential in Xander's character but it's gets ignored: Jesse's death, Xander's home life, Faith's attempted rape, "Kick his ass", Xander's dislike of Angel and Spike, Xander's desire to have Giles as a father-figure, Xander dating an ex-demon, Xander experiencing being a leader to hundreds of Slayers, Xander dealing with Renee's death.... the writers just
never explore those issues. They give us hints, but no serious exploration.
Xander becomes a perfect man all of a sudden
but we never get the joy of watching him get there. I wanna see
how Xander becomes a better man,
not just the aftermath. How did Xander become Buffy's bestest friend? How did Xander become a great leader in S8? How did Xander and Dawn get together? Where's their first kiss? Where's the awkwardness? Where's their story? It was mostly from Buffy's POV and was treated as a plot device to give Buffy yet more pain.
They give us Xander upset and angry because his best friend turned into a vampire, but once Jesse is dusted, it's like he's never existed when the writers could have given us Xander mourning and developing conflicted feelings over vampires -which would have made his point of view about Angel more sympathetic.
They give us hints about Xander's home life but not clear enough to make a whole picture: there could have been potential for great drama as well as dealing with child abuse.
They started something big like "Kick his ass" and never followed through. Xander should have gotten caught or confessed to Buffy what he did. A storyline for Xander as well as great drama that should have been dealt with in S3.
Faith attempts to rape/murder Xander and that upsets him for a scene and then
nothing. Xander is okay. He must be the strongest member of the Scooby gang emotionally to get over pain and humiliation so fast.
Spike stays at Xander's apartment in S7 and then suddenly Xander is pro-Spike and trusts Buffy with Spike. They could have showed us a couple of meaningful scenes between the two in Xander's apartment. Or else why move Spike to Xander's apartment at all? They should have just moved him to Buffy's basement from the beginning.
Xander loves and respects Giles, but Giles doesn't feel the same way. Xander admits in Restless that he used to consider Giles a father figure but then he moved on. Hello? Couldn't you have made that clearer in the high school years? I'd have loved to see Xander's unrequited feelings for Giles "“parental not slash, though I don't mind Xander/Giles subtext.
Xander/Anya had a great potential to be as complex and interesting as Buffy/Spike, but alas, they were doomed to be comic relief.
Xander, who was always a follower, becomes a leader. He can't become a perfect one in a matter of days. How about showing us Buffy being his teacher and him screwing up a little?
Xander says he'll mourn Renee alone, which was only an excuse so Joss' won't deal with it.
The thing about Xander, redemption and the "Kick his ass" incident is that I don't know if Xander wants to be redeemed for it, or if he even feels he needs to redeem himself. I think he is 100% secure in the choice he made that morning. I definitely think he'd do it again if he was in the same position.
But that's just you assuming. We don't know what goes on in Xander's mind. Don't you agree it would have made more sense if Xander got caught? At least we'd have dealt with this dangling thread and saved years of debating uselessly about it. Plus, Xander getting a storyline for the poor Xander fans.
*Sigh* That rant needed to get out. Thanks, hon *hugs*