Buffy's Best Friend?

sosa lola said:
Aw, I disagree. Willow always had time to listen to Buffy's problems and complaints, usually forgetting herself. A scene that comes to mind is Living Conditions, Buffy whining about Kathy to Willow on the phone whole poor Willow listened patiently even though her roommate is far worse than Kathy.
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I agree, I think Willow is a very loyal friend to both Buffy and Xander and goes out of her way to help both.
 
Buffy Summers said:
Pfft - she condescended to and criticized Buffy instead of accepting her as she was and forgiving her mistakes, the way Buffy instantly forgave Willow's.
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Are you talking about Deadman's Party? If so you are right in that example, but it highlights the problem I have with that episode because I just don't buy that Willow would treat Buffy that way, its out of character for her😉
 
When you're 12 "best friend" is a competition. When you get older, I'd say for most people the late years of high school, the term broadens into people who you can count on to have your back, who you can open up to. When I was that age we had a little group and we all felt we were each other's best friends.

Then when you get older still, and life doesn't make it easy to have that little safe core group, the people who are still there with you, that you don't let go of are your best friends.

I think Willow was the one who played that role. From confidant when they were in 10th grade, to stalwart friend and more in 12 th grade and freshman year college, and then just a rock in Buffy's life after that.

With best friends, even if some really stupid, ugly, painful things happen, you still come back around to each other and move past it. At least most of the time.

Xander was a best friend, but not quite to the same intimate degree Willow was.

I have a few best friends, but they all fill a slightly different niche, and some fill several niches at once. I'd say Willow is the one who fills the most niches.
 
I think Willow was her best friend but not great at the job. Willow has addiction issues. We see it most clearly with the magic in season 6 but I see her as one of those people who puts a relationship before friends which is kind of showing that addiction side again where she is all wrapped up in one thing.
 
I feel that Willow was her best friend until probably S6? Then Xander was closer to her from S7 and on - they have more heart to heart in S8. I forgot S9 and I've yet to read S10.
 
sosa lola said:
When did Willow not accept Buffy for who she was?
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Every time Buffy made a mistake (or what Willow perceived as a mistake) she was there criticizing and telling her what a bad person she was. Such as, not telling when Angel was back, causing magic to go kaput, etc. Dead Man's Party as was previously said. With Spike in Season 10.

Her first inclination is to act holier than thou, rather than with forgiveness or acceptance that Buffy made a mistake.
 
Buffy Summers said:
Every time Buffy made a mistake (or what Willow perceived as a mistake) she was there criticizing and telling her what a bad person she was. Such as, not telling when Angel was back, causing magic to go kaput, etc. Dead Man's Party as was previously said. With Spike in Season 10.

Her first inclination is to act holier than thou, rather than with forgiveness or acceptance that Buffy made a mistake.
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I don't feel those moments show Willow as someone who tells Buffy she's a bad person or doesn't accept her for who she is:

*Willow was actually the most sympathetic toward Buffy about Angel being back and even if she was angry, she has every right to be, that was Buffy betraying her friends. (Willow was actually Buffy's biggest cheerleader on her relationship with Angel and did all she could to help her out: giving Angel back his soul?)

*I don't remember the magic thing, is that from S9?

*Dead Man's Party, Willow was being selfish here but I won't say that she didn't accept Buffy for who she is.

*I've yet to read S10, so I can't comment on it now.
 
I would go with Willow, they seemed to bond quicker, than Buffy and Xander.
 
Willow is and will always be her best friend. Xander is a close second though.

There's times when Xander and Buffy had some big blowups because of his dislike of Angel and I think that always rubbed Buffy the wrong way. She never had any major disputes with Willow (I don't count their fight when Willow went all dark because of the circumstances). They shared really confidential and emotional things with each other that neither shared with others.

And while Giles is also a close friend of Buffy, I think there's always been that father/daughter relationship more than friendship.
 
Willow - definitely.

Buffy Summers said:
Pfft - she condescended to and criticized Buffy instead of accepting her as she was and forgiving her mistakes, the way Buffy instantly forgave Willow's.
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Maybe she wasn't the bestest besties if ever a bestie there was, but Buffy said bestie and I say Buffy says.

cryptwarmer said:
Xander was a best friend, but not quite to the same intimate degree Willow was.
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Xander is her Xander shaped friend.
 
cryptwarmer
cryptwarmer
I love the way you put that!
I've heard all 3 of them call one or the other best friends at different points in the series. I'd say that all 3 were 'besties'.
 
The Bronze said:
I'm not really fond of the term best friend. It's a bit juvenile and creates unnecessary pressure and competition. Looking at the show and into the comics it seems clear to me that Buffy, Willow and Xander are family now. They've been through so much together and they're always there for each other. They have different dynamics as pairs but I don't believe they would rank them so neither will I.
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agree on the best friends term, but since season 9 there are moments where they are not very close, even Dawn rejects her to a point.
Buffy Summers said:
Because Willow doesn't generally act like a best friend 🙂
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sosa lola said:
Aw, I disagree. Willow always had time to listen to Buffy's problems and complaints, usually forgetting herself. A scene that comes to mind is Living Conditions, Buffy whining about Kathy to Willow on the phone whole poor Willow listened patiently even though her roommate is far worse than Kathy.
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In the first seasons she did, then the distance grows, after season 5 she gets more and more self absorbed, in the comics, she is at times very distant towards Buffy, even closer to Dawn than to Buffy, in the beginning of season 9 she acts awfully towards Buffy because of the seed of wonder, even if she says she is not mad. She also regrets to have saved Buffy in season 6, she says she has chosen Buffy over Tara to Kennedy. That is not really like friends should be. But then by some subtext I suspect that she might have more than friendly feelings towards Buffy, would explain why her behaviour colludes with the time after Tara and after she came out as gay.
Nevertheless she is not what a friend should be like in later seasons, regardless of her motives.
 
Sternbeeere said:
In the first seasons she did, then the distance grows, after season 5 she gets more and more self absorbed, in the comics, she is at times very distant towards Buffy, even closer to Dawn than to Buffy, in the beginning of season 9 she acts awfully towards Buffy because of the seed of wonder, even if she says she is not mad. She also regrets to have saved Buffy in season 6, she says she has chosen Buffy over Tara to Kennedy. That is not really like friends should be. But then by some subtext I suspect that she might have more than friendly feelings towards Buffy, would explain why her behaviour colludes with the time after Tara and after she came out as gay.
Nevertheless she is not what a friend should be like in later seasons, regardless of her motives.
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I agree that both aren't as close as they used to be which is mostly because they grew up and apart imo (Well, Willow grew up. As far as S10 went, Buffy has to make up immense leeway). For me, their friendship isn't crucial for the fandom anymore, hence my wish of a separate Willow comic since her development is also grossy neglected in S10.

I think you see the whole matter a bit one-sided. Friendship is a two-way street and not only how Willow should behave. There are plenty of occasions where Buffy was a bad friend to Willow.

S04 - Something Blue comes to mind. Willow was wallowing in self-pity over Oz' departure and Buffy was mostly irritated/occupied. In the same episode Buffy pines for Riley and whines over Angel (again) while Willow patiently and compassionately listens. When the spell is lifted, Buffy immediately goes back to pining for Riley again instead of setting Willow straight about her screw-up (friendship is also about challenging, not only agreeing and condoning).

Not telling the Scoobies about Angel's return was on Buffy and showed no respect towards her friends, which Giles rightfully pointed out.

Leaving Xander and Willow in the hospital after Xander lost his eye is also not very friendly.

Willow isn't really fair to Buffy at the beginning in S09, I agree, but Buffy is quite indifferent about the whole matter which is the real (and rightful) reason that Willow's pissed imo. And surprise, it turned out Willow was right. I'd call Buffy a bad friend when she makes Willow feel guilty because the latter had left to bring magic back. And what does Willow do? She caves in and apologies.

I don't see her realization of choosing Buffy over Tara as a proof of being a bad friend. She regretted that Buffy had to suffer but never that she did it in the first place. You can read that in A&F S09 when she says that to Angel.

It looks like that I think Buffy is overall the bad friend here which I don't (expect in S07 & S10 maybe, but that's due to bad and ooc writing imo). I just wanted to even the scores a bit.

And about Willow being self-absorbed? Some people seem to confuse selfhood with independence and just prefer a Willow who is Buffy's unconditional pupp- *ahem* supporter in everything without an own life or purpose. She was self-absorbed in S06, yes, but even there were episodes where she acted selfless and compassionate (between Wrecked and Villains). In all other seasons she is not more self-centered than Buffy or Xander but S06 seems to stick on her.
 
DoktorRock said:
I agree that both aren't as close as they used to be which is mostly because they grew up and apart imo (Well, Willow grew up. As far as S10 went, Buffy has to make up immense leeway). For me, their friendship isn't crucial for the fandom anymore, hence my wish of a separate Willow comic since her development is also grossy neglected in S10.

I think you see the whole matter a bit one-sided. Friendship is a two-way street and not only how Willow should behave. There are plenty of occasions where Buffy was a bad friend to Willow.

S04 - Something Blue comes to mind. Willow was wallowing in self-pity over Oz' departure and Buffy was mostly irritated/occupied. In the same episode Buffy pines for Riley and whines over Angel (again) while Willow patiently and compassionately listens. When the spell is lifted, Buffy immediately goes back to pining for Riley again instead of setting Willow straight about her screw-up (friendship is also about challenging, not only agreeing and condoning).

Not telling the Scoobies about Angel's return was on Buffy and showed no respect towards her friends, which Giles rightfully pointed out.

Leaving Xander and Willow in the hospital after Xander lost his eye is also not very friendly.

Willow isn't really fair to Buffy at the beginning in S09, I agree, but Buffy is quite indifferent about the whole matter which is the real (and rightful) reason that Willow's pissed imo. And surprise, it turned out Willow was right. I'd call Buffy a bad friend when she makes Willow feel guilty because the latter had left to bring magic back. And what does Willow do? She caves in and apologies.

I don't see her realization of choosing Buffy over Tara as a proof of being a bad friend. She regretted that Buffy had to suffer but never that she did it in the first place. You can read that in A&F S09 when she says that to Angel.

It looks like that I think Buffy is overall the bad friend here which I don't (expect in S07 & S10 maybe, but that's due to bad and ooc writing imo). I just wanted to even the scores a bit.

And about Willow being self-absorbed? Some people seem to confuse selfhood with independence and just prefer a Willow who is Buffy's unconditional pupp- *ahem* supporter in everything without an own life or purpose. She was self-absorbed in S06, yes, but even there were episodes where she acted selfless and compassionate (between Wrecked and Villains). In all other seasons she is not more self-centered than Buffy or Xander but S06 seems to stick on her.
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I do not remember the season 4 scene. So i need to rewatch that.
Not telling the scoobies was in season3 before season 4 and that is not what I am talking about. I am only referring to Willow post season 4 and mostly post season 5, since season 6 is the turning point where their friendship starts to break for me.
I do not know about that , maybe she felt guilty about Xander and that is why.
Also I do not say that Buffy is much better than Willow, just more insecure, Willow is stronger in terms of personality and plays that out on Buffy, which I do not like. When Willow was the weaker part Buffy did not play her strength out on Willow. And Willow had her own life in season 1-4, magic, Oz, computers, college, Tara.

Generally I think all scoobies became self-centered, self-righteous and judging too much. Xander even more than Willow. That is why I do not like any of the main scoobies anymore by the way.
 
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